Ruth_Baldock

am ignoring impending birth of baby, la la la. It's going to be 1st July, via an elective c/s (thought long and hard about this...). don't want to deal with this, it's not happening, i'm still 18 and young and free, *head in sand*

I would be very interested to hear how most nurseries deal with nap time though, if not with mats on the floor? Do some provide beds for every child? I always thought it was mats, too. My son was in a creche for a bit from 9-11 months, and he was in a cot for naptimes, but the moment he became a walker, he was on a mat, which he was more than happy with (slept for 2 hours, cheeky baby). He now tries to nap by pulling blankets onto his bedroom floor and flinging himself ontop of them. I also remember napping on a foam mat with small pillow and 'my' blanket, as did my siblings when they went to the same kindergarten.

Thankyou to everyone who replied; clearly, family relationships/children bring out very strong feelings in everyone. Pocket, Zeban, etc; you are right- I am lucky to have family nearby who want to help, and my Son is very lucky to have so many people around him that really love him (hard not to, he's lovely, but I am biased...). However, as someone posted, a lot of this boils down to a lot of my family's assumption that they have a 'right' over my son. (This has been an ongoing issue since he was born; not just my Mum but a lot of my very pushy family are like this. My son is Jewish, and not circumcised, but a lot of the family felt it was their place to call me in the PN ward at Kings to lecture me about circumcision; didn't see anything wrong with this, because as a new child in their family they had a 'right' to, if that makes sense?) I have a lot of ongoing problems with my Mother, and since having her baby, my sister is experiencing them too- in exactly the same way, so I know it's not 'just me'. A lot of it is down to trust, following years and years of what I can only describe as a hellish living situation with her, me, and my step-father (really don't want to sound melodramatic, or get into this, but the way she handled the situation back then is why I don't trust her at all now). SW: All my siblings are my half-siblings, and you're right- a lot of my feelings around it all are that her 'second' family got preferential treatment over me. I probably sound like a whiney child now. I sort of feel that the moment I moved out, no one had a blind bit of interest in what I did until my son came along- when I told Mum I was pregnant she was really pleased (Jewish Grandmother Syndrome ;) ) and said she wanted to help out as much as she could- which gave me the warm fuzzies- until she swiftly followed it up with saying 'because there is no way you'll cope on your own' (am not on my own?!!?)I'm not going to win parent of the year anytime soon, but I think I'm doing okay! She said the same thing to my Sister, who IS on her own, and Sister is doing bloody well. I digress, it's a sticky situation. Your suggestion was brilliant and one I hadn't even considered "She needs to build a solid relationship him before you can think of him staying overnight with her. I think your conversation with her needs to be along the lines of "Mum, it would be great if you could look after him, but he's very little and he doesn't know you well enough yet for me to feel comfortable leaving him. I know that you're busy, but maybe we can talk about you finding a regular time to come and get to know him (one Saturday a month for example?). When he's more confident with you then we can discuss you looking after him at your house." It's totally true that she needs a solid relationship with him, he's a very sensitive baby and doesn't like to be away from me or his Dad at all- even though he loves my MIL and is so used to seeing her/spending time away from me with her, he still cries for a good 15 minutes when he's dropped off there. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him there as it is now. The hugely ironic thing is that he's great with my Step-Dad- who was always the crux of mine and my Mother's arguments- but they get on like a house on fire, and SF is HUGELY interested in everything Seb does, and has pictures of him in his wallet and everything. Shocking. Anyway, I did speak to my Mum about everything- and she wasn't surprised I felt that way and said I had dealt with it a lot more diplomatically than my sister had (apparently she told her to 'eff off out of it' and slammed the phone down, but she's 10w pp so can't really blame her...!). She said that she felt guilty about not seeing Seb as much, which I knew, and that she was jealous of my MIL, which I also knew. But I said it wasn't a contest and a lot of it was down to logistics- my MIL is very local, so it's really easy for her to pop in or whatever, it's not so easy for my Mum to and I DO understand that. We addressed a lot of 'what had happened' when I was a teenager concerning me-her-my stepdad and I tried to calmly explain why I still felt very betrayed by her because of it; but we never get very far with that conversation, and as usual, it turned into some kind of blaming activity. Sigh. But I do think she gets the gist. We've agreed that she'll spend regular time with my son, every Monday afternoon at the moment; she'll be coming to us initially, but then she'll start to take Seb out locally, and eventually we'll start taking him to her house and he'll get more and more used to it. When I can express, and hopefully leave Baby The Second with a few bottles of EBM, she said she would be delighted to have both of them at the same time (she has a 14 month age gap with two of my siblings and laughed when I asked if she'd find it hard...). Hopefully it'll all work out nicely, and there won't be any guilt-tripping or awkwardness anymore! Again, thankyou to everyone for your input.

Toasted bagels a hit here; cinnamon and raisin ones especially. Anything egg based, if I can be bothered (ahem). Sometimes I make pancakes with cut up fruit on 'the side' and Seb goes mad for them. Current obsession is cheerios though. Sigh.

Thanks for asking this; I was wondering the same thing ;)

Excellent point, I know she's free when me and mr b are meeting with a consultant at kings (again) next week so may ask her to look after seb at ours whilst we waddle off to the hospital for an hr or so...

You got given till 41+4? jealous, i was only given the option of 40+5 and I'm too muh of a wimp to stand up for myself. As it is, am no longer in the running for a VBAC (long and hard choice talked over for weeks with mr b) but I really really hope things get a shifty on for you asap! Xx

WOD: we talk several times a day, particuarly atm as I'm having difficulty with a few medical things re: new baby. She knows her stuff, and is very good on that side of things. And I agree, working ft with a 6 y/o must be tough, but my stepdad took early retirement and does all childcare (lucky her!) my MIL is an absolute godsend; we certainly don't share the same views on a lot of things but she's welcomed me Ito her family as if I was her own daughter and I don't know how we'd have coped over the past 17mo w/o her, although at times her concern has been downright interfering- we do seem to have come to a silent agreement re: interference though. Saffron; I have seriously considered a mediator before and know my sister is explorig this seriously ATM (she has similair issues with our Mum, and has a 10am old bf baby that my mum keeps badgering her to mix-feed so she can have him for a weekend; mum bf us all into toddlerhood so hearing this from her, as I did, shocked us both to the point of tears). You are bang on the money in what you said re: guilt though.

Sarah; snap. Just had an appointment where we agrees to a date; July first. Baby has an unstable lie and I can't take anymore worrying about it. My son is the same age as yir daughter and was a crash c-sec :/

Sarahshah; I feel for you. My hips are in agony and the only thing that helps me is swimming/cycling- not for everyone, I'm sure, and probably not the BEST time to take them up- I was lucky in that I swam 4-5xa week pre pregnancy anyway (used to dive for my county as a teen, get me!) and I cycled everywhere anyway. I have also been offered some physio by my MW, which I will be having post-natally, I think. If made a post on here asking for good physio's, you'd probably be inundated with details; so maybe worth a shot?

When I worked in a secondary school, the kids called me 'Miss' because if they had called me 'Ruth' it would have made it even more difficult to get them to bloody listen to me (I was a mentee for a 15 y/o, and I had only just turned 20 at the time...). I don't like being called 'Ruth' in a school setting either, and think that 'Miss/Sir' is appropriate, personally...

Hi all, I really need some insight on this, from someone not involved in the situation (i.e. not my family). Basically, it's my Mum. We have a...strange (read: horrible) relationship, partly my fault, partly her fault, lots of the fault of my Stepdad. She also lives on the other side of London; Rickmansworth, actually. I don't drive. She still works full-time (these are all very important details...) Since my son was born, she takes every oppurtunity to guilt trip me about how little she sees him. I've always said she is MORE than welcome to call in the morning, say shes free, and come on over- it's a hell of a lot easier for her to come here, than the other way around (she DOES drive, you see...). A lot of the time, she'll ask to babysit my son for the day, and lately, has been asking when she can have him overnight. 'Never' is my thought, but I haven't ever said this outloud. I've been over there with him when I was ill, and the moment I left the room for a lie-down, he started screaming and Mum would say 'Ruuuuuth, the baby is crrryyyiiiiing!', but wouldn't try to calm him. Now, my MIL, who lives a 5 minute bus journey from us, is heavily involved with my son- she looks after him twice a week, babysits him, comes over to help out in the day when it's too much, and is always happy to have us drop round for a chat and a cuppa if we're around. She has had our son over-night, and he's been spending more and more nights there to prepare him for when I'm off having his sister (in a few weeks, vomit). He has grown up with her around, is very comfortable and happy to be with her/my FIL/at their house. She knows his routines inside and out, knows his eating habits, what he enjoys, what scares him, etc etc. She is also very calm around his tantrums. My Mum ALWAYS asks 'Why is he crying?' which drives me mental, especially when he was a tiny baby and I felt like saying BECAUSE HE IS A BABY! Yesterday, my Mum called me up and asked why she couldn't look after him overnight whilst me and my husband have a mini-break this weekend (it's our anniversary). I asked 'Where would Seb sleep?'. She's got a travelcot, but assumed it'd be okay for him to sleep in the travelcot in the livingroom whilst they were all still up in the evening. He's almost 18mo old, and needs a quiet, dark and PEACEFUL environment to sleep in; so that wouldn't be great. I asked if she felt allright cooking for a fussy baby and she assumed he was still on jars. I told her he ate the same as us now. Then she started asking about bottles and formula, none of which he has. He hasn't had a bottle of EBM for ages and ages and his night-time drink of milk is from a cup and straw now, anyway. In short, she hasn't a clue, which shocked me because her youngest is only 6, whereas my MIL didn't have a problem with anything baby-related, and HER youngest is 27. Whenever she asks 'why won't you let me look after him...?' I always skirt around the issue, because I don't want to tell her the truth; that I don't really trust her, that my son would be scared and unconfident at hers, and that...it's just not going to happen. How on EARTH do I explain ANY of this to her without offending everyone in sight? We've already had a falling out when I told her that when I was in labour with Seb, the fact that she called the labour ward every 20 minutes for updates (no, I'm not joking) was INFURIATING and she's not to do it again this time, so I don't know how much drama I can take!

There's this indian restaurant, Safa, on church St se5 which has amazing curries that are very very hot. I always gr strong, regular bh after eating there and two friends have gone into labour after eating there. They deliver to se22. Sex? This will be my last resort too tbh, the very IDEA at this point is ludicrous...

Mister Maker has a creepy stare, i cannot stand it. Icks a yicks, as my baby would say. I like Andy lots though. Used to fancy someone else, can't remember who... Ah well. I don't see the Katie attraction but that's because she looks and sounds exactly like my second and third form netball coach (utter cow that she was...)

Gussy, all of your (excellent) points had me laughing into my lunch. Snigger. My Mum used to fancy Sporticus from Lazy Town. Ew? Have met Justin and he is LOVELY, just lovely.

So what does one do if all the schools within a 400m radius are faith schools but you are not of that faith and refuse to send your children to a school where they won't be intgrated into the curriculum fully? (prayers etc) appeal for a different school? Lump it?

Anya; I find cycling easier than walking nowadays! I'm 34wks now and some of the looks and comments I got cycling to/from Nunhead were either hilarious or offensive. My husband blogs about cycling and is going to do a post about cycling in pregnancy, complete with photos of me on my old banger of a bike. Wednesday; I can only make it from 7:30 really- bedtime routine/husband returning permitting. Wherabouts are we meeting?

Fuschia; we love Small Potatoes in the Baldock house- always sing the theme tune when cooking anything tattie based. ClareC; YES, that's who Mr Bloom reminds me of... For those interested; Jacob Scipio who presents Kerwhizz (infuriating) used to be one of my mentees. That's not his real accent, that's all I'm saying...

23 isn't THAT young... I have a thing about the bloke that plays Mr Bloom (he of his nursery). He's LOVELY.

Thanks, folks, I bought Bo-ing by benefit yesterday; wonderful stuff! I should have known, really, all my makeup is by benefit (all two blushers, one eyeliner and one mascara...)

Camberwell training pool has always been warm enough for my baby; granted he's a little older, but I've seen 2/3/4mo old babies there, quite happily. Perhaps get him one of those baby wetsuits if in doubt? "20 mins tops Keep body under water to maintain heat Be very orgNised do can get dressed quickly Expect baby to cry after and demand milk then fall asleep" All excellent points, too.

You can always have a chat with me; I had multiple allergies, and eczma/asthma as a child, many of which have followed me into adulthood. They're not all linked (for example, I am allergic to penicillin and latex and certain fruit acids but they don't have a 'dermatitis' style reaction as you'd expect with someone with eczma. If that makes sense???)

Maybe it's the whole, being 34wks pregnant thing, but I can't find ANYTHING about magic moments/buds online? No websites? Really??? Can't even find the contact info. Hmm. Any links, anyone?

Oh buggeration, I know naaaafink about all this. Nursery surely a good thing for toddlers in any case. Where is Buds? I have heard many good things about it actually. Mockers; why can't I find Greendale on the map? Am I blind?

Hi all, I didn't think that me and Mr B would be chucking Cheeky S into nursery until his free place kicked in, when he's around 3 (I believe). However, it's occured to us that it might be a good idea to get him settled into one a little earlier; possibly one that is attached to a primary school if that would make it easier for him to get a place at said school (The school we'd like him to go to is 950m away but last year only took children within a 250m distance, apparently, and all other local schools are CofE. We're Jewish.) So, top nurseries? Top FEEDER nurseries? 'ah much? He'd only be going for 2-3 half days a week, ideally. *He previously had a place at a montessori nursery, but upon second and third inspection, we both felt a bit 'funny' about it all, so pulled the plug.