Ruth_Baldock

Malumbu; *plain, not plane. Apenn, I wouldn't worry about the slope but the stairs may be a bit tricky. We have a lot of stairs going up to our flat, and it's...tricky. it did make it harder to get out and about when Seb was little, and I dread to think how I'll handle it with the P+T. The older Seb got, the easier it got though- so hopefully when he doesn't need to be in a pushchair anymore, I can go back to using the maclaren with my youngest and then it'll be quite easy again.

Oh, not Joan Wolf. Really, when will she give up with it all? I believe she had a book about breastfeeding being anti-feminist or something.

The best bit for me was "How come you can do all that other great s***, but you can't lay the f*** down and GO TO SLEEP?" So, SO true. Samuel L Jackson was the perfect choice to perform this, too. Brilliant.

Cuppa; so so true. I remember wanting to stop because 'people have died from less, I am going to die, I am being drained...' (5days pp, incredibly melodramatic, and nothing was 'wrong' he was just feeding every 2.5 hours for 40 minutes a time...) but everyone kept reminding me it was worth it and to keep plugging away, and I knew how good breastmilk was for my son, so it DID keep me going. If all I had been hearing was 'meh, it's more or less the same as formula' then i would have definitely, DEFINITELY stopped. P.S. It DID get better, everyone was right. I now wish my son, at 18mo, was still nursing tbh. Such an easy way of calming him down; my boobs ensured that I didn't have to experience getting up at 5:30am when baby decided morning had most definitely broken...

I see your point, Polly. I was pressured into giving my son formula, then made to feel guilty when I did. Then when I stopped mixed-feeding, kept being reminded that he wasn't 'exclusively breastfed'. You're definitely damned if you do and damned if you don't. That's probably why it's so difficult to discuss breastfeeding, really- someone always ends up feeling offended.

Saffron: You said it better than I ever could, hear hear.

Mockers; I still nap in the day with Seb :) And that's at...er...308 months. May I suggest napping UNDER your desk- and putting a casette on repeat "Oh bloody hell, dropped my contact lense, better have a look for it..." as some sort of explanation.

"Opinions differ and we are all entitled to our views. I can see positive aspects of your choice to breast feed but for me and many others, bottle feeding is a better option" That wasn't the issue, or what anyone was getting on their soapbox about; it was all the sweeping generalisations. I don't think anyone is suggesting that breastfeeding Mothers love their babies more than those mother's who chose to bottle-feed; it's a very personal and private choice; one which I'm sure we all respect- but sweeping statements and gross generalisations are not helpful, and can be very upsetting. "I and my husband make many sacrifices for them " Don't we all, regardless of how we feed/bring up our children.

Go The F*** To Sleep, as read by Samuel L Jackson. Made me laugh, at least.

Ours dropped his around 11months, but I reckon he could still do with it at 18mo tbh...like SB, we have lots of crashing out in the buggy/tantrums over lunch, then ne naps from 1-2.30/3 typically, sigh,

New Mother; normally, I don't respond to these kind of threads because 1) I don't represent myself and views very well online and don't want to alienate anyone, and 2) Someone has normally said what I think in much better terms anyway. However, I felt compelled to reply to your response. You're right, opinions DO differ; however, time and time again, through different research over various years has shown that breastfeeding/breastmilk is, well, best. I'm sure it may be more convenient to be able to have someone else (partner or family member) feed baby, but often what is convenient isn't what's 'best'. Incidentally, for a few months, my son was mixed fed (under erroneous advice from a HV, no less...) and I found it a huge hassle, actually. I also think it's slightly outrageous to suggest that better off women 'don't bother with it'. Sarah Cameron, anyone? I think this is a huge sweeping statement and is as incorrect as saying 'all women from economically challenged backgrounds breastfeed'. It's a mixed bag, for various reasons. It is true that some women are unable to breastfed for a myriad of reasons; I do have a friend from school who never produced any milk, matching her Mum, Sisters and Aunts with this trend. A lot of women feel unable to breastfeed due to other issues; some of which could be helped if they knew how to get the right support and appropriate support was universally offered quickly. Sadly, this isn't always the case and it's a great shame when a Mother feels guilty because she 'failed' to breastfeed because she 'couldn't'. I also agree with another poster who said things such as milk coming in late and ravenous babies due to growth spurts should be better discussed, so that the assumption simply isn't 'baby is really hungry, I can't be producing enough'. I do think breastfeeding, and getting a good latch, recognizing hunger signs is a skill that has to be learnt. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I hadn't been to several workshops and had a very experienced MW post-birth, that I wouldn't have got the hang of breastfeeding. A lot of people just assume it all comes easily and naturally, and for some it's true, it does. But not always.

Hi ladies (and bumps) Hope you all had a good time at chandelier on Tuesday; it was my last day WFH and I did think it might be a good idea to...er...actually do some work this time. Is anyone free friday pm? monday? tuesday am? Baby is away with Dad, I'm on maternity leave, and having free time is such a novelty... Well, if anyone is around and would like to meet up, it would be nice. How desperate do I sound?! err Wishing everyone a peaceful night, free of pregnancy insomnia and aches and pains and newborn grizzling to those of you who that applies to ;)

He won't be asked to 'say' anything at all; I don't think they even start to think about worrying about language skills until at least 2+. My son just had his 18mo check (a week early, wow) and they asked if he was speaking at all. He is a bit but we're not so worried. The main thing is mutual understanding through some kind of communication, which we have down to a t. At my babies 8/9mo check, they checked everything as above, asked if he was still bf, and then he fell asleep whilst playing with the toys. All fine.

I don't think you get that anymore, sadly- not sure if bookstart has been scrapped yet or not but it was certainly in the pipeline...

I did it because I was totally certain that I never wanted children! Ha ha ha ha absolute LOL. My Mum struggled to concieve me, and my sister (after my sister who is 4 years younger than me, she got pregnant at the drop of a hat, strangely enough, which is how she ended up with lots of us) and a lot of my family members have fertility problems. It was painful to see my aunt go through miscarriage after miscarriage and be denied adoption, too. She was a shell of a woman and I wanted to help someone in the same way that she needed help. In the end, she had a baby via a surrogate (baby is now 3). Also, At the time, I had just come out of a pretty nasty bout of depression and wanted to help someone and do something good, I think. TBH, I'm not enitrely sure WHY I did. It just seemed like a good idea. I was very very very squeamish about the jabs but the 'removal' (surgery) was easy peasy...in theory. I must be the most fertile person ever, considering I went through that, then discovered I had PCOS and yet, concieved two babies whilst using two forms of contraception- three if you count BF as one! Bloody hell.

Gina, I have done this when I was 20. Ironically, I had loads of problems ~ladywise afterwards that were unrelated and the whole thing seemed a bit like a greek tragedy, but I'm glad I did it. Can you do it after you've had a baby? If so, I'd totally do it again. I'd also happily be a surrogate, and have been talking to a family member a lot about this; she cannot sustain a pregnancy, but I can, and I want to help.

SB: Ironing?! You're well organised, I haven't ironed since the fifth form (kilt. icks a yicks, to quote S). I don't have a cleaner, but I do say 'Seb! LOOK! Octonauts!' and give him a biscuit to nom when I want to update my blog/lurk in facebook. So sue me! (We will have a cleaner soon, god help him/her...) I also spend a lot of time lying on the sofa. I am pregnant and getting 3 hrs sleep a night. It's only fair!

Fuschia, not everyone was left to cry, I suppose, but my Husband and SIL have very vivid memories of that happening; and this was only in the early 80s! He's older than her, by 2 years, and remembers her shrieking her head off (he was old enough to amuse himself by then). He said his Dad would reguarly come home to a spotless house but frantic children. It was just the way his parents had seen things done, and hence how they wanted to do it too. But, as I've said, my MIL often says 'I wish I had just relaxed about it all and done it your way'...nice to know I'm doing something right! My Mum once (jokingly) said she'd have left me in the garden to cry, but I used to make the cats scratch the sofas when I cried and she couldn't afford to buy new ones. Thanks, Mum.

I agree with HH; also, quite controversially maybe, wouldn't it be a massive shock to a 4/5 y/o who had spent all their time with Mum/other mums and friends to be suddenly in a classroom with 29 other kids?

Helena; I think your Mini Handbasket and my Cheeky S should team up. Seb won't continue eating if he drops food on the floor and it's not cleaned up. He also won;t get into the bath until he's put his toys away in the living room, takes off his socks and puts them in the washing maching, and won't get into bed if there are toys/clothes on the floor. He won't let me help, he has to clean it up himself. Hilarious. Think of the money to be made!!!!!

It's a real swings and roundabouts situation. Both and I Mr B were sure we would NOT use a dummy when Cheeky S was little. We lasted two weeks and then the constant screaming when I wasn't feeding him got too much, and we gave him a dummy. It co-incided with Mr B buggering off back to work (moan groan, I guess we have to pay the mortgage somehow...) and without using it, I wouldn't have been able to shower/get dressed/eat on my own with the baby. I kind of regret giving him one because he still has one now, although not that much, at 18mo. It falls out when he sleeps and although he can put it back himself, often he'll shout 'Mama, Dada! I did it! DOOOMSSSS!' (dummy) and will screech frantically until one of us stumbles into his room to replace it for him. Mini Karter may find her thumb and use that if she is a sucky baby and gains lots of comfort from that. If Mrs K is happy to comfort baby with boob then more power to her, and I'd follow her lead. Like Fuschia said, it's certainly not worth falling out over, especially 5wks PP.

We tried to, sort of, with Seb. He's says 'icks!' if he'd done a poo, and grab at his willy and look worried when he wee'd. Then he started pointing at the bathroom, and then a few minutes later, he'd poo in his nappy. We took it slowly but he would only ever 'go' on the loo (with tiny bum loo seat) if he wasn't pre-occupied. We had many 'accidents' (nappy off) whilst ceebeebies was on. Sometimes he tells us he wants to go, often he doesn't- we've got ages and ages before we really *need* to worry about it, but it's nice that he's got the idea in his head this early on- sort of gives us a head start with the whole process, I think.

Sb: buisness of being born was so so depressing! I have a friend in the states who was induced at 39+5 because her ob gyn "didn't like to go past 39wks with her patients". Seriously, nhs= bloody marvellous.

I'm interested to see the difference between care in the USA and the UK but as I'll be be having my own baba soon, may give it a miss...

I find myself saying a lot of the same things as Mum. My sister was keeping an eye on Seb the other afternoon, and she fed him a yoghurt. It went everywhere, obviously. I came into the living room and said "Jesus Mary and joseph; what the Sam hill is going on??!!!!" and my sister said "god, you've turned into Mum!" My husband on the other hand; nothing like his dad. My FIL is very laid back and easy going, my husband is...highly strung? Interesting the way it works, I've got a terrible relationship with my Mum but can see myself becoming more and more like her whereas my husband has a very goodrelationship like his parents and is nothing like either of them...