Lochie

ok great - thanks so much! We've got Mog, its read EVERY night(was nearly in tears the other day when I stumbled upon Goodbye Mog in the bookshop - sob) , and Dogger by Shirley Hughes - fave from when I was young too. Completely forgot about the Tiger Who Came to Tea. Ones that stick in my mind from 80s childhood reading are Not Now Bernard and John Brown, Rose and the Midnight Cat. Not sure why! Obviously Gruffalo wasn't around when was younger so glad to see that on list as have had it recommended so many times...

No idea about lancing - sounds pretty brutal to me and would not do without consultantion from doctor/dentist! We had an awful period with the molars. Lasted about 3 months (sorry!) of very disrupted sleep. However our son went back to normal sleep when the pain had gone. Our GP prescribed liquid ibuprofen for the pain and it really worked at night. Also we did co-sleeping during this time for comfort. And cooled teethers. good luck!

I want to start a book collection for my son, he's not yet 2 but I'd love to start buying some regularly. I'm a real book hoarder so love the idea of having a collection that we'll keep forever. I was just wondering what the best received picture books have been by your kids, or have you any that you remember from your childhood that have always stayed with you? Would really appreciate some tips...

whoops, oh dear! I don't mind really. There is something about all this toddler behaviour lark that makes me chuckle secretly even when the behavour is not good - I love seeing the characters develop not sure i'll be saying that when he gets sent home from nursery for pinching though! ;-(

thanks everyone, really useful comments. Son is going to nursery in sept so am hoping that being around other toddlers and having someone who is not 'mum' correcting his behaviour might help with this. we'll see!

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I would speak to your HR department and tell them your boss had mentioned a 1% payrise but that this has not been reflected in your pay recently. An HR team will be accutely aware of any discrimination that maybe implied from you being on maternity leave and not getting the rise as everyone else has (assuming everyone else has) and therefore will be quick to put out any fires by investigating. Though 1% is a small amount it sounds like you are a bit miffed on principle rather than anything else - and I totally understand and reckon you should stand up for yourself! I work in HR and in our company pay rises this year were discretionary based on performance but everyone on mat leave got a rise as they hadn't performed badly due to their very absence from work. Same should apply to you. If you don't have an HR dept and you need to speak to your boss I would just frame the question in practical terms i.e. you are now a mum, even though the 1% is a small amount you were counting on it to help pay for childcare etc, is there a problem with payroll as to why you haven't seen the rise. S/he can't get defensive about that. God it makes me really cross! Though sounds less like discrimination and more like a poor line manager to me...

found ours useful at first but think we got rid of it after 6 weeks. We just use nappy sacks and a normal bin - and were we to have another one wouldn't bother with the nappy disposal systems. Although I believe they are pretty much free as you get a voucher for one in the newborn Bounty set you get given at the hospital?? If that is the case you may as well get one....sorry not much help!! In the main I would say stick to nappy sacks and a bin!!!

thank you alice - you hit nail on head. I am actually finding the reaction of other parents very stressful. You'd be surprised how many dirty looks I've had, I am always very apologetic and sheepish, but at least 50% of reactions are unforgiving. Hmmmm. Now I'm in a situation where I literally hover over him wherever he goes to pre-empt his grabbing - and that is probably not very healthy either. Interesting your comment about language too as he is a slow developer in the speech area and I'll get this checked at 2 if it doesn't pick up. Whenever we get home e.g. after TumbleTots today, we have a little 'chat' about what we did and I'll say something like 'that wasn't very nice when you pulled the little girl's hair was it' and my son will then tug his own hair and grimace, so he knows what I'm talking about!! Little tyke!

My son is nearly 22 months and is constantly grabbing other toddlers' hair/faces. I know this sits in the realms of normality, however its becoming very stressful to do any activities with him around other children in case he mauls them...I am almost at my wits end! At first I thought it was inquisitiveness but I am starting to see a look of Damien in his eyes sometimes, especially when another poor child approaches him if he is playing with a toy/on a slide etc, I think it is his way of defending what he believes is his. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this habit? It shows no signs of stopping. At present I just pull him out of the situation and tell him its naughty but I don't think he understands. I fear we'll have no friends left at this rate!

The Life of Pi - Yann Martell - great holiday read, think won booker prize Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell Norwegian Wood - Haruki Murakami - excellent and easy to read Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguru Another vote for A Thousand Splendid Suns oh how i wish to be able to sit down and read a book!! ENJOY!!!

my sister is super thin but has this so i don't think its dependent on dress size. She said its easy to regain the stomach after one but almost impossible after 2 kids - however I am sure there is a way but perhaps requires a lot of time and dedication! I would go and splash out on some really good underwear as the good stuff can knock a dress size or two off almost instantly (rigby and pellar good for this kind of thing)

actually i have to add I can't believe there is no large soft play centre in the area as big as Gambado - the market for it would be huge especially around here (am discounting Peckham Pulse as its not purpose built for just that). I actually don't like going to Gambado because its nearly a half hour drive and I keep thinking if I were a big shot developer I'd build something similar in the Dulwich area - but alas I'm not!

We've been members of Gambado for about 6 months, and I agree that the service leaves alot to be desired. We do get there literally 10 mins before opening though in order to avoid queues and so have never experienced mega delays. We went on holiday last month to the Cotswolds/Oxfordshire area and due to rain almost every day, visited the local Gambado type offerings in the surrounding counties and in Reading (think we went to 4 in total). Let me reassure you that in comparison to these places, Gambado is like a palace!! The ones we went to were absolutely filthy, same problems with poor staff etc, little supervision around play zones that are for toddlers only (my son had a horrible encounter with an 8 year old boy and had to have an accident form filled in by the manager). After that holiday I realised Gambados is probably the best provider for this type of facility, especially in the hygiene stakes which I think is pretty important. Unfortunately I think with all these places they have their customers over a barrel a bit - parents need a place to take kids on a rainy day and so pay over the odds. Don't think they ever think about service because they don't have to - but if people complain then I guess they'll take it more seriously (you'd hope!)

not sure about anatomy side of it, but we went to lessons from 6 months with our son and did all the dunking under water stuff(after seeing all those amazing photos of babies swimming under water!). This was against his will (cue screaming when he surfaced!) and he now has a bit of a phobia about getting even his face wet in the pool let alone his whole head. So the only tip I would give in my experience is if your baby doesn't seem to enjoy going under water, don't push it (common sense I know). Must add though have seen lots of babies who LOVED it....

A civilised house is where you don't chuck the last nappy of the day onto the landing as you get child into the bath, only to find nappy has unravelled mid-flight to leave a huge turd on the carpet

Fuzzyboots - www.talkingpoint.org.uk - very useful, i've just had a look. I've found it reassuring to be honest and realise that he probably says more words than I give him credit for as it mentions 'missing the end of words off' e.g. he can say 'door' and 'duck' but they both sound like 'duh'. So thank you for that website. I'd love him to be in nursery as I think he is more than ready, and interestingly words come out clearer when he is with other children e.g. instead of his 'nuh' (no) around me he will say a very clear and long 'NO!' when defending another child from the toy he is playing with. However, despite having him down at 3 nurseries for the last year we are still sitting on the waiting lists, its very frustrating. My mum has been a nursery/primary teacher for 30 years and thinks there is nothing wrong with him although she is not an expert, I feel a bit reluctant to medicalise this just yet especially as my GP didn't think there was anything wrong. So I'm going to watch and wait and then push for a referral at the end of summer if no improvements. When I was in Sainsbury's a few months ago I actually was handed a leaflet appealing for support in saving speech and language therapy in the local area as I am assuming it is being cut back? Worth bearing in mind when thinking about waiting lists...

Thanks everyone, reassuring. Think as most of my son's playmates are girls I perhaps should consider that gender comes into play too. I have an autistic niece and also a nephew currently being assessed for Aspergers so think I'm just a bit neurotic about development. Am going to take a chill pill....

@ sillywoman, ?In essence I think it's good to debate, it's bad to personalise.? I agree too. Unfortunately it?s almost impossible for each individual woman not to personalise when it comes to the topic of feeding their baby as it is such a highly emotive topic. I am sure that EVERY woman that reads this thread, whether they have commented or not, will recall their own experiences of feeding. These may be positive i.e. loved breastfeeding immensely and/or were perfectly happy bottlefeeding and felt guilt free doing so, middling i.e. struggled to bfeed but succeeded in the end, or indeed negative e.g. immense guilt at having to bottlefeed, or extreme difficulty in bfeeding. Referring to a point that helenahandbasket made about mental health, I would really like to see the MWs/HVs focus equally on emotionally supporting decision making (re: feeding) for mothers as they do campaigning for the breastfeeding agenda. To use myself as an example, I had no problem with milk supply, however, I did have a serious problem with latch and a painful episiotomy meant that I was unable to position myself to feed at the breast for weeks after giving birth. When my milk came in it was suggested that I pumped milk by the midwife instead. So I did. I pumped and pumped and pumped. I?d be expressing every 4 hours which meant that effectively I needed to be awake every 2 hours (I needed to feed with the bottle in between each pumping session). This went on. And on and on. For 6 weeks. So for 6 weeks I was effectively awake every 2 hours. The midwives were fully aware of this and continued to push the importance of breastmilk over all else. Even when it was clear I was becoming emotionally vulnerable through lack of sleep, no one ever suggested I stop pumping. Though I tried to put my son to the breast, over engorgement meant a complete inability to latch and no one was there to help me. Though I knew that formula was an option, the overbearing ?breast is best? agenda that was so pushed by the profession meant that I felt too much guilt to consider it. It was only when I had a complete meltdown and was diagnosed with PND that I ditched the pump. I am really glad that my son had breastmilk for 6 weeks, however, in hindsight I so dearly wish that someone had held my hand and told me that it is not the be all and end all. Because really, it isn?t. My feeding experience didn?t give me PND, but it surely was the straw that broke the camel?s back. I guess really what I am trying to say, and probably has been said before, is that is VITAL that breastfeeding is contextualised amongst ALL other factors in a new mother?s life. I?d love to see a network that empowers women to feel happy and relaxed about their decision to feed WHICHEVER method they choose. I haven?t read the WHO guidelines but I would imagine that there is no mention of mental health when it comes to prioritising the best feeding option for the baby and mother. If the WHO guidelines are aimed at developing countries, then I would suggest that the guidelines are not so vitally relevant in more westernised countries where there are other factors to consider such as PND (which I believe is an illness found in our developed society and far less prevalent in the third world).

Thanks BST. I'll pm you my email address. I did mention it to my GP when I saw him last month for something else and he just got out a big book and said something along the lines of "well at 20 months 50% of children can name a picture, 50% can't". He is not my fave GP and our practice and wasn't really very helpful or sympathetic. In the main its just frustrating as often my son will point at something to signal he wants it, and repeat the same non-discernable noises, and look at me searchingly as if I should know what it is! It leads to lots of tears for him and I know he's finding it a bit difficult now. Good tips as well for language encouragement methods, defo start to use them.... Thanks re SUnshine house tip as well...

I am a bit worried about my son's speech development and am finding it hard to find a standard for this - perhaps there isn't one and I shouldn't worry, but just thought I'd see if the seasoned parents on here can give me some perspective. He is very chatty, points and understands what I am saying (e.g. if I ask him to go and pick up a particular book, or ask him to wash his face in the bath, he will do it). However, his development of words is not progressing really. He can say about 4 words fully (mama, dada, yeah and no), but anything else is pretty much non-discernable or a suggestion of a word e.g. he says 'woowoo' for dog. I've only become concerned recently because I've noticed alot of kids the same age as him or younger are way ahead in the speech stakes and I can't help but worry. Any advice? I'm getting a bit alarmed :-(

@jennyh - i think its a shame the Oz equivalent of mumsnet put that article on its website. Would like to think such a website existed to support new mums not draw attention to how 'lethal' formula is - the comment "Bottlefed babies are twice as likely to die from any cause in the first six weeks of life" is REALLY not helpful to any vulnerable mum lacking sleep and debating whether to offer that first bottle to help her get a good 4 hours kip for her own sanity. @saila - totally agree with you too - what is it with the mums v mums on the milk issue?!!

We've been here quite alot: http://www.ashdownpark.com/ 1.5 hours from Dulwich, babysitting service (?10 per hour), good restaurant (bit formal though). Its quite a traditional hotel, not as trendy as places like Babington House but the staff are very kid friendly and the main draw is the lovely indoor pool for you and baby and the stunning massive grounds. There are always lots of kids/babies there when we go...

I was leafing through this book in the library the other day http://www.amazon.co.uk/Domino-Decorating-Room---Room-Creating/dp/1416575464/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307102814&sr=1-1 Its got some beautiful ideas for kids bedrooms from what I remember (it must of done cos made a mental note to remember the name of the book). It is an interiors book but the kids rooms weren't pretentious in anyway and easy to replicate. worth a look x

Have you looked on the Lakeland website? they are usually quite good for things like that. or take out of moulds and put clingfilm round them??