Lochie

Not sure where abouts in beckenham you are moving to but we ended up at St. James's preschool which we loved. It has now expanded to a day nursery I believe if you need all day care. Also I have heard good things about Brick by Brick. Good luck!

Soller in northern Majorca is absolutely stunning and a lovely lively town with a beach at the port. An old fashioned tram takes you from the main town to the beach which has always been a hit with our young children. If you watched the Night Manager on BBC recently the bits in the Majorcan town were filmed in Soller - so would give you an idea of the scenery! Also Pollensa in Majorca is lovely but I personally prefer Soller. Pollensa has a lovely town square with restaurants in it that young children run around in and play whilst you eat your meal. Its fab. I'd love to go back!

@nunheadmum - thank you! I'm excited but a bit nervous about buying a digital piano, I'm a bit of a purist!! But have heard lots of good stuff about them. Hoping I can actually find the time to practice every day myself!

ahhh fantastic - so useful thank you all :-)

Any advice on which digital piano to get? I grew up with a 'normal' piano and would love my children to learn but we don't really have enough downstairs space for a traditional piano. So was going to get a digital one. Any recommendations would be appreciated (and sources of second hand ones?) Thanks

We stayed near Cognac last year. We got a flight from Gatwick to La Rochelle and drove - I think it is about a 1.5 hour drive or maybe under an hour I can't quite remember. Motorways so smooth and driving really easy. The flight to La Rochelle is so quick (think it is about 1 hour and 20 mins) and flights when we booked last year in May half term were very reasonable on Easyjet and at good times of the day. La Rochelle airport is tiny which in some ways is good as you don't have to navigate loads of walking to get to your terminal. You literally get off the plane, go into the terminal and then within about 100m you are at the car hire area once you've got your luggage. I would recommend a trip to La Rochelle Zoo with your kids it is amazing - one of best zoos we have been to and a great day out. There is also a fantastic playground by the river in Cognac which we used on some days to entertain for the odd hour. Also we spent one morning at one of the local towns (can't remember what it was called) when they had a farmers market - it was fascinating for the kids as there were lots of animals there for sale (bunnies, chickens, goats etc), v eye opening. And of course lots of amazing cheese to taste. I would add it was more expensive than I expected (i.e. cost of supermarket food etc). Memories of my own childhood summer holidays to France because it was 'cheap' seem to be a distant memory! Make sure your husband takes Speedos and your son too (if you have a boy) - we took a trip to a local swimming pool and my son and husband had to 'borrow' some Speedos at the leisure centre as they don't allow swimming shorts. Enjoy - we would definitely go back if not least because the journey via La Rochelle is so quick and easy (we live in Beckenham so Gatwick quite an easy drive for us, that always helps!)

Comments have been so interesting so thank you. Heartening to hear am not alone, some stories really pulling on the heart strings, but some really useful advice that I can use in every comment. After an absolutely awful meltdown at a playdate yesterday (worst yet - occurred after I calmly banned ipad that day for being mean to the host of the playdate) which really shook me in terms of its physicality, anger etc; my son asked 'would you still love me mummy if I was being bullied' when we got home. So it may be that something going on at school is at the root of all this. I am a little skeptical as the boys in the class all get on very well, mums are all friends, numerous playdates between all the boys, no 'leader' as such - but I remember all too well that sometimes the meanest comments at primary school can come from 'friends'. My natural response is to think that if a child is being bullied they would become quiet and introverted, but perhaps not, and it would explain why my son has suddenly become so emotionally angry. I'll pursue this line as sensitively as I can with the mums involved and see if they have any insight. Interestingly I've noticed that his playdates with girls are always conflict free but playdates with boys inevitably end in some tiff over whose game they want to play, who plays with who etc. @Pugwash in terms of being extremely bright I don't think so, his last school report scored him in the average range for everything. However, I would say that he needs to be stimulated all the time and gets bored v easily (goes back to inability to focus on one thing for very long) @midivydale I absolutely do think that age of starting school is particularly pertinent to boys at this age as it restricts their very natural tendency to physically explore, run, be noisy etc which must be very frustrating for them. @belle - your comment re: hormones is hugely interesting; before you'd mentioned it I'd almost likened the rages to those I remember from puberty- literally a metabolic force of anger due to inability to handle emotions! I'm going to read a bit more about that... @catgirl - great idea re: diary. I've thought of it myself but haven't had the impetus or time to actually do it but now I think I'm going to have to! Thanks again for all the tips and thoughts...hoping for a calm and angst-free weekend for all of us!

That is very interesting thank you Belle. Our school now has an Assistant Headteacher for Inclusion who I've met before in a special session about handwriting, she is great and I'll defo make an appointment with her soon if things get worse re: behavior and emotions. That is v interesting what you say about J and behavior trickling outside of the home, as in our case it really is confined to the home (and around friends he feels v comfortable with), and actually in school and at our childminders he is well behaved (apart from too much chatting in class!). So I will watch with interest as he grows up to see if it begins to emerge elsewhere. The thing I am getting very struck by is what I call the 'lip' which has suddenly started to appear - i.e. me being called a 'stupid idiot' etc - totally unacceptable and it's said in the way a teenager would say it which I find quite shocking and unnerving as he is only 6!!! I don't mind Minecraft in theory its just I wish he could transfer that passion to things that don't involve screens. However, I did read somewhere that it is really important if they have passions (that are pretty innocent but that might not be considered important to development), that you show an interest in WHATEVER it is so that you praise them for having a passion at least (I often do other things whilst I am being told about minecraft achievements and don't listen at all- it is pretty flippin' boring IMO!!). And yes defo re: hunger - constant requests for snacks are hard to keep up with which no doubt lead to sugar dips (I personally get really irritable when I am hungry still as an adult!) Hanging on in there - a good spelling result today has defo lifted the spirits at home and lead to a small reward, so I'm being treated with a smidgen of affection and respect again...(which is lovey)

Also wanted to share this lovely picture book about meditation aimed at children, in case anyone is interested. Thanks for the person who PM'd this x http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0807563811?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00#reader_0807563811

Thank you for the advice and the PMs too. All of it is useful. I've just spoken to the TA (teacher was off sick). She said he is fine in class, no concerns, too much chatting as usual but that is about it. Part of me was wondering if this recent flair up was a reaction to having to go back to school, as he is not like this (emotionally) all of the time and it was extreme even for him. The TA did say that a lot of the teachers have said the kids have been 'difficult' since returning after Xmas and having to readjust. If it continues I will speak to the teacher properly and beyond that the inclusions teacher if necessary. I have an 18 year old niece with autism and an 11 year old nephew with aspergers so have some experience with these and there is nothing that leads me to believe that he has either of these 'disorders' (not that I would prevent him from being assessed if I had an inkling that he might). One strength he has is that he is highly sociable and thrives around people, and is an excellent communicator and articulator. Which is why I get so frustrated when he has these crying fits at home as it disables him from being able to communicate - it is almost like he is so emotional he is unable to explain why. I do think that as the curriculum is so very geared towards pen work and sitting still in classrooms that it can be frustrating particularly for boys - but I guess that is another issue! Someone very kindly pm'd me a mindfulness website for children which I thought I'd share: dot.be (http://mindfulnessinschools.org/what-is-b/) Perhaps teaching him how to be calm and reflective might help before he gets disproportionately emotional about things (perhaps a bit too young to expect this but worth a try). Routine v important and its something we are slack on so thanks for comment on that. And for the book recommendations, great, especially love the Lovebombing idea - I'm going to order that one. Thanks again

Hoping I can get some experiences and/or advice to help with my six year old son who struggles to handle his emotions. I want to help him but also am getting very frustrated at him too and could do with some help. My son has always been highly strung ? everything needs to be done exactly the way he likes it otherwise he tends to have a meltdown. However, this has ramped up quite a lot in last few months to the point that he seems to spend a lot of the time crying. They are not sad tears but more angry tears that things are not working out the way that he wants them to. He doesn?t have big tantrums but just one long moderate whine and cry about pretty much everything, and it is really affecting life in our family and our home. He struggles with concentration and focus and flits from one thing to another (unless it is Minecraft on the ipad which we are now restricting). He struggles with writing and has been put into a special class to help with his fine motor skills. I will speak to his teachers this week to check there are no underlying issues at school, but my main concern is his real and raw inability to keep his emotions proportionate to what is going on in life! Any advice on how to lovingly support children when dealing with their emotions (esp. boys) whilst also trying to instil some resilience?

http://www.workingmums.co.uk/ Good site for advice and also flex working jobs. Good luck!

If you like American literature then you might like Curtis Sittenfeld - her books are real page turners - I especially loved American Wife and Sisterland. Just finished reading Brooklyn by Colm Toibin which is beautifully written and has a lot of focus on a young Irish girl's life in New York in the 1950s (if you haven't seen the recent film!). It is a very gentle book and a little bit sad so probably not best if you want something uplifting, but I would still recommend it... If you can brave 900 pages then Donna Tartt's The Goldfinch is amazing. Joyce Carol Oates 'The Falls' is riveting and again a page turner...

ahhh perfect thanks edanna

Seeking advice from slow cooker users! Got one for Xmas and wondering if anyone has any good recipes they'd like to share...we are a family of 4 with two fussy eaters so would be interested in kid friendly recipes as well as those that would appeal to a couple of foodie lovers (kids can have fish fingers ;-)

I bought Bourjois healthy mix foundation a few months ago - its really light and easy to apply, hard to get wrong - I've had a few comments about how 'well' I look since wearing it (I don't like heavy make up and its not heavy). I also went to the Clinique counter in Boots recently to explain that I want something quick and easy to apply for a working mum always on the run - they recommended chubby sticks for the eyes which I have to confess I have found really easy to use, I also got a nice neutral colour for the lips. I wanted something I could apply on the train without smudging and they tick the box. I've never been a big make up fan but like you, after 2 kids and lots of sleepless nights it really does make me feel better about myself when I face the world! Have fun :-)

Just wanted to add another perspective. I went back to work part time before both my children were 1 years old to a job that I 'didn't mind' - for me I really wanted to stay in a career and I also enjoyed having some of the week with adults. I didn't really earn much money but I wanted to work. My son is now in year 1 at school and my daughter due to start Reception in 9 months, and it is only now that I have a massive pull to be a SAHP. I always thought 'it will get so much easier being a working mum when they are at school' but for me I now feel the opposite. It seems I spend so much of my money on commuting, childcare before/after school and paying other people to do the stuff I could do if I was at home (e.g. cleaner). So you could say that making a choice to become a SAHM doesn't have to necessarily be when your children are babies- it could be something you decide to do in a few years time. My kids may not be babies anymore but I feel more than ever they need my time and support (I always feel so busy with all the things they need to do like clubs and homework and being on top of all the notes that come home from school/pre-school). I also love the ages they are at now and really enjoy their company and being at home with them. I feel frazzled quite a bit having to juggle work and negotiate their school life as well as their emotional needs when they get home - if I can make the finances work in the next few years I will definitely look at trying to work for myself from home or just give up work for a while. I just wanted to share that - if you think by going back to work now means you'll be never be a SAHP that doesn't necessarily need to be the case, it could be something you return to later on. GOOD LUCK in whatever you decide!

Thanks both - I've luckily managed to borrow two from a kindly class mum. I tried the Spa but they don't do them. Useful to know about Decathlon, ta. Silicon ones do legitimately seem so uncomfy, this is the one 'moan' from my kids I was willing to give in to!

Any ideas? Desperately need to find one for my 3 and 6 year old before their new swimming lessons tomorrow, the pool enforces an obligatory hat wearing policy and I already know they will freak out at having to wear a silicon swim cap. Any tips apprecited (I live in Beckenham so anywhere up to Dulwich and down to Bromley is fine for me to get to). Thanks

Also I'd highly recommend Fornalutx which is on the outskirts of Soller, possibly one of the most beautiful villages I've been to in Europe...think you can get villas/apartments there (but its away from the sea)

We've been a few times to Pollensa now, its lovely (Pollensa more so than Puerta Pollensa IMO). We stayed in a great villa which I can recommend but it is for larger families (10ish) so might not suit. My aunt-in-law has an apartment in Soller (near Deia) which we have been to three times, I would actually recommend Soller more than Pollensa. In my opinion it has a more beautiful backdrop (high over-arching mountains which are absolutely breathtaking), a lovely port with great restaurants, a fun tram that takes you down from the town to the port (always a hit with our kids) and its been majority Spanish people whenever we've been there. I'd also say you don't necessarily need a car (easy bus from airport). Enjoy your holiday, I'm v jealous!

We got two cats about a month ago. My son, who has very mild asthma (they don't seem to diagnose asthma til about 8 years and he is 5 so it is not officially diagnosed) had an awful cough about a week after getting them that turned into a mild asthma attack. He was put on steroids for a week and is now better. I did ask the doctor to send him for an allergy test as cats seemed the obvious cause, however, the doctor said the NHS wouldn't do a test unless it was for a life threatening allergy e.g. Nuts. He said if my son was REALLY allergic to cats then he would have still been unwell when exposed to cats again. He said at this time of year allergic reaction could be down to a myriad of things (most obvious one being pollen). Or a combo of things. He said sometimes people use the label 'allergic' when actually they are just 'sensitive' to e.g. Cat hairs. So in terms of your question, you'd need to get a test done privately. I would say the best way to see if your daughter is sensitive is spend more time around cats/dogs, but perhaps not in summer, when it could be something else exacerbating it too. Good luck! It's hard with kids as they become so attached to the idea of having a pet that you want to make it happen, but not at the cost of their health! For us, the cats stay for the time being ;-)

I went to Legoland last summer with similarly aged children. It is amazing but have to say it is so so massive that we could only do a fraction of what was there, and queues for the rides were 45 mins plus, which was hard to explain to a 2 and 4 year old. Plus my then 4 yr old is a bit of a softy and was too frightened to go on a lot of the rides. I went out of term time on a weekday and it was absolutely heaving. So not sure if there is ever a way to avoid the crowds. It is very expensive and I did leave thinking it would have been better value for money if i'd done it when my kids were a little older (my son is now 5 and a half and really into Star Wars so that alone would probably make it worth a visit as there is a great Lego Star Wars section). I'm sure there are some Legoland pros on here who can comment on when to go when less busy and how to avoid queues etc. I haven't been to Chessington since I was a child so can't comment but would be interested to hear on this as we are thinking of going ourselves.

We've been to Camber a few times with kids. One rainy day we did Rye castle which killed about an hour...I think the author who wrote the Captain Pugwash books was born in Rye so they have pirate dressing up things in the castle for kids as a testament to him. Also lunch at the George but just realised I bumped into you there once so you obviously know it!! I really cross my fingers for fine weather for you...we went this time last year and though it was not warm it was sunny and the beach was sensational. Ooh and Dungeoness also defo worth a visit

I've also been to Villa Pascali twice (my family of four and another family of four first time, then our family and my parents the second time). It is great as it allows larger groups to holiday together but not be on top of each other. Setting is amazing, I would go back but now my son is 5 we can only go during school holidays and so can only afford it if we maximise its full capacity (think it sleeps 10?). Would defo recommend.