Saffron

My daughter is in the pre-school room (2-4 yos) at a Montessori certified nursery, which generally feels busy but also calm. The children are all engaged and busy with learning play, but the pre-school never seems chaotic. The staff ratio is generally 3-4 adults to 20-25 children. Her keyworker isn't always there to greet her, but this is because we often arrive at the end of the early morning shift. So her keyworker is on a break. It's not an issue for my daughter because she is very close to other teachers. She's happy to be greeted by any of them. If it's important for your child to be greeted by a keyworker, then perhaps enquire about the morning break schedule? It think it would be good to make some firm but polite enquiries directly with the nursery about the staff ratio and level of qualifications that staff have. Asking for clarification following the recent changes in your nursery seems like a very reasonable request that the management should be amenable to answering.

On the topic of "choices": Does concern over a 'blame culture' in health care prevent midwives from offering alternative or controversial birth choices, or accepting and supporting women who choose such options in birth? And, is there anything prospective parents can do to improve this? I'm thinking particularly in light of the 'tend and befriend' instinct that's purported to replace the 'fight or flight' instinct in pregnancy and labour.

Likely running late but hope to make it. xx

We did our baby swim classes through Water Babies, in the hydrotherapy pool at Lewisham Hospital. The water is definitely nicer than typical pools, warmer, cleaner etc. If you can find classes in a hydrotherapy pool near you, I'd highly recommend it! xx

If it's not a hot day, the car's in your view at all times, and you've taken the keys out of the ignition but locked the doors, it seems pretty reasonable to me.

I cook on one occasionally at a friend's house. I don't like it. I'd never buy one. If you cook in any pan other than steel/iron (eg ceramics etc), you have to use a steel disc underneath. This essentially converts your induction heating process once again to transfer heating, undermining somewhat the point. Plus you can't flame roast chillies on it. Definitely a good idea to try one before you make a decision. xx

Ladywell *might* be cheaper to buy/rent than FH. Morning trains are fine from Ladywell sta. V nice, small local shops, and Ladywell Fields Park is great for all ages. But realistically prices to rent/buy in Brockley/Ladywell are not much better than Nunhead/FH or similar ED borders.

Robert Poste's Child Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > MrBen Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > For some reason Malumbu is the only poster for > > whom I hear their voice as I'm reading their > > words. And for some reason I hear a 48 year > old > > quite refined Jamaican gent. Always smiling as > he > > gently teases with his harmless but annoyingly > > inane posts. > > > > Does anyone else hear voices like this as they > > read or is it just me? > > I tend to get mental images more than voices. For > you I get Mr Ben, obviously (nice hat, funny > walk). Jah Lush I see with dreadlocks (I know), > Jeremy in corduroy (sorry sorry), Seabag in a grey > hoodie (you need a shave), ???? with a hint of > D-Day in Animal House (is that handgun > registered?). > > That may be why I found the forum drinks a bit of > an anti-climax, now I come to think of it. Next Forum Drinks: Fancy dress. Theme? 'Yummy Mummies', obviously.

miliaore Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I dont think kids can ride on the paivment . Quite right, they can't ride on the pavements because the pavements are such poor quality. If the pavements were in better condition, it would be much safer for kids to ride their scooters on them. Someone start a pavement improvement campaign, and have a fundraiser with cake. Lots of cake. Mmm cake.

Suggested British guidelines are that an au pair not have continuous sole charge of children under 2 yrs. So, it might depend on how many hrs you'd need out of term time. Mother's helper/nanny with own child might be another option, particularly if you want someone to run errands/shopping. xx

Do you have the space for an au pair? Otherwise maybe a nanny share, plus cleaner?

Surely the nursery doesn't instantly close in a case like this? Many working parents would likely be left with no childcare at short notice! What's the Ofsted protocol? Do they make emergency recommendations, then follow-up at intervals? I can completely understand parents wanting to stay or go based on their personal feelings. xx

The problem is not just the exit doors. As related by sweetgirl, and Louise61 who found the child outside the nursery, the nursery staff gave the appearance that they were UNAWARE of the child's disappearance until he was returned. And in the case of Louise61, this is not hearsay. This was Louise61's actual recount of the experience from her own point of view, wherein she expressed that the staff showed a "lack of concern". This means that nursery staff appeared to be --at that point in time-- unaware of this child in any capacity. (Suppose a child had been in difficulties within in the boundaries of the nursery, and the staff were not aware?!) I agree with Otta, security at the doors is a MINIMUM requirement. Due to the young age of the children overseen in nursery environments, key staff must be aware of the location of children under their care at all times. It's not just about reviewing the door security policy. It's about ensuring that proper procedures are in place to account for all children at all times, including within the nursery itself.

Locking (or threatening to lock) a child's door to enforce 'settling' at bedtime is not good psychological practice for developing healthy sleep habits. It can worsen nighttime anxiety and fear, and it does not proactively teach children how to settle themselves. xx

Remembering how disheartening some of the anti-formula propaganda is, I just wanted to add that far from undermining our breastfeeding relationship, being able to give a few formula feeds in the early weeks actually saved our breastfeeding relationship. xx

At certain points I also found the pump more painful than feeding. I think I didn't really settle with the pump until my milk was more settled. If you like the idea of having your own ebm, maybe try again in a couple of weeks? In the early days of breastfeeding, so much can change from week to week. Also I found pumping (or feeding) in a cold room was really painful. This was due to having Reynaud's syndrome, which usu affects hands/feet but can also affect nipples! There are just so many variations on what does/doesn't help. I hope you find the right combination for you and your LO. xx

What time are you initially putting him to bed? Have you tried moving the bedtime a bit later? The nanny-style behavioural modifications rely heavily on the child actually being sleepy enough for bed, and not having any other issues e.g. nighttime separation anxiety. Children can develop nighttime sep anx at any point, so maybe worth considering if that's a factor?

You've probably tried all of this already, but just in case there's anything you haven't tried, here's what worked for me when I had extreme breast/nipple pain... For really traumatised nipples, I found silicone LilyPadz breast pads used with a tiny bit Lansinoh lanolin were the best. You can wash and reuse them, so they're good value for money. I got mine from the NCT website, but I think MotherCare might sell them as well. Also, the MotherCare nipple shields were very useful, and I think I wore these until my daughter was 3+ months. I know some people are anti-nipple shield, but I found them helpful. I think I tried 2 or 3 other brands before finding these. Breastmilk itself is very healing. Before putting Lansinoh on my nipples, I used to rub them with breastmilk and let it dry just a little (not totally), then place the LilyPadz over them. The conventional advice to let nipples dry completely isn't necessarily good if your nipples are already traumatised. Over-drying can lead to micro-cracks in the skin which prevent healing and promote infection. Have you been able to clear the thrush/bacterial infections? Some people respond better or worse to different combinations of anti-fungal/antibiotic treatments. So if one round didn't clear, it might be worth trying different ones the second time. If your breasts simply needs some 'time off', you could try hiring a hospital grade double electric pump. These are much more efficient than other styles of pumps. If, like me, you have one nipple that's much worse than the other, limit your feeds on that side. Your other breast will start to dominate. The milk supply adjusts, and you can actually feed a baby on just one breast if you need to do so. Strictly anecdotal, but other things that help are cake and wine. So, so much sympathy! I hope the specialist will be able to help you on Monday. xx

If you have a dishwasher, you don't need a separate steriliser. The heat and detergent in the dishwasher are sufficient and can be used with any typical feeding system. The best bottle and teat are probably ones that your baby will actually take! My daughter had to have a few bottles of ebm/formula when we started breastfeeding, as we had a lot of problems. Luckily she was a 'sucky' baby and would take any teat. And after things got better, we went back to 100% breastfeeding. It might be worth sending out a Forum SOS for anyone with spare bottles, if she won't take the bottle and teat you have. I did this for my neighbour when her little one wouldn't take a bottle. I got loads of different bottles for her for free from lovely Forumites, until she found one that worked for her LO. As for formula type, if I had it to do over again, I seriously wouldn't bother with powders - what a pfaff! Whatever brand you choose, stick with that brand if your baby tolerates it well, as switching brands can lead to tummy upset in young babies. This is because each brand is formulated slightly differently. Sorry you're having a tough time. I hope it gets better soon!! xx

My daughter has always been tall for her age, and around a similar age to your LO she started to get a leg over her cot rail! We went for a futon instead, and super-babyproofed the rest of her room in the case of her getting up to play before I was up (which happened a lot). She slept on a futon until she was three, then we got a toddler bed.

I've also read that gargling is good for this, and for keeping colds off in general. For anyone who has difficulty learning to gargle, my daughter learned to gargle at a young age by practicing in the bathtub! This made it more fun, and it didn't matter if she made a mess while learning. I've also read that mixing turmeric with honey makes it more effective, as turmeric has antiseptic properties. Much sympathy! xx

We're shortly to be confronting this problem too! I understand some childminders will do this, depending on the age/activities of the other children. Also, what about a nanny share? Or, if you have friends/other parents who only work mornings, perhaps you can come to an arrangement for the afternoons? What about a university student? This would be a nice source of extra income for a masters or PhD student.

Definitely send a letter, and have it notarised. x

"Sleep shaming"... now trending on a social media site near you! ;-) GinaG3, I feel your pain. xx

My 4 year old goes to bed between 9-10pm! Children are all different. Sigh.