Saffron

El Pibe Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "Tell someone who had an unexplained stillbirth, > or lost a partner in childbirth, that a healthy > mother and baby is nothing special. Go on tell > them. They're listening. Some of them are on this > Forum." > > DJKQ levels of pompous projection! > > I have a close friend who's sister suffered a > stillbirth, treated her with sullen resentment > when she got pregnant and shut off relations > altogether after the child was born. > > I doubt she was updating her status with > solipsistic, vacuous, mawkish expressions of joy > or policing fora for inadequate levels of awe at > every instance of succesful gestation, but you > continue dictating how everyone feels about a > given situation. > > I'm generally a big fan of your posts, but by 'eck > you're rubbing me up the wrong way today. Indeed the feeling is mutual. But to get back to my point, it's that everyone feels differently for different reasons. So why the need to naysay those who do feel positive about it?

zeban Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Oh Saffron get a grip, you are still confusing > your issues, missing the point entirely, but > instead of accepting others don't agree with you > you choose to be rude instead. Sticking a wink > face after that sentence doesn't make it any less > rude. My comment was no more rude or offensive than your original comment "I am so relieved I don't live in the UK right now", was to some people who do live in the UK. Although I'll quite happily remove the ;-) and replace it with a :( if it suits. And actually I do accept that other people have different points of view. My point of contention on this thread is how they choose to express those points of view. Why not have a little sensitivity for the things that other people enjoy, like celebrating the royal birth, without ascribing them other negative traits.

Personality traits are broadly heritable, but it seems current thought is that environment plays about an equal part. So, did I get my neuroticism from my mother's genes, or I did I pick it up from her by sharing the same environment? Hmmm... I like to think I'm a positive person, but I wouldn't say I'm ebullient (or in denial, and definitely not over-acting). They're not synonymous. In any event, I'm ok with sad, grumpy, negative people too. Hugs all around! :)

Obviously I want to catch one so I can eat it, austerity n all that. I figured they're a lean source of cheap protein and fibre. Enough of them about not to miss a few. ;-)

StraferJack Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I don't get the endless hipster hate > > The look cliched, sure. But as tribes go they are > pretty benign, almost cute OMG, I don't hate them. I think they're kinda sweet. X

Hipster Traps, including: sunglasses, a yellow bicycle chain, a Holga camera, a can of PBR and a pack of American Spirits as bait. http://laughingsquid.com/hipster-trap/ What should we put in our local traps, I wonder?

I wouldn't waste money on Infacol (simeticone/simethicone). Although no data that I know of has shown adverse effects of its use in infants, a systematic review by Garrison & Chritakis (J Am Acad Peds, 2000) demonstrated no conclusive evidence that it helped with colic. This is in line with other research that I have previously read on simeticone. (We tried Infacol too. Didn't see any difference. I binned it after I read the research, annoyed at myself for getting sucked in by baby marketing!) Little Saff had to have a few bottles of formula at the start because we had problems with painful latch, and I had very bad postpartum exhaustion. We didn't have a problem with preferring breast v bottle. She was like a suckerfish, and anything that got too close got sucked in: nipples, teats, fingers (hers/ours), earlobes, noses, etc. BUT, if you do find that your LO is having nipple confusion, then definitely speak to a lac consultant. We had a great lac consultant on Pickle's recommendation. It really made all the difference in the world. xx

The documentary was a case study, not a true controlled experiment. Therefore we cannot extrapolate to the general behaviour of cats from the cases presented in the documentary, although it was very interesting. Feeding someone else's cat and enjoying its company is a very selfish thing to do. (Also, all those people feeding other people's cats, are they paying their share of the vets' bills too???) If this were happening to me, I would stump up the courage to speak to the neighbours about it... well maybe courage bolstered with a little fib, as others suggested. Tell your neighbours the cat has a health problem. Keep trying with the Do Not Feed collar. And remind your neighbours that many nice cats are available on the Forum and at Celia Hammond. If it helps, take your child around with you to the neighbours. Say to your LO, 'Remember when you wanted to feed Kitty but she wouldn't come home for her dinner? This is the neighbour who was feeding her, so let's ask her together not to feed Kitty?' Cue big-eyed, sweet-faced child telling your naughty neighbours not to feed your cat. And if that doesn't work, I suggest a kipper through the letter box after midnight. ;-)

This was a very good recent article on ECT by BBC News Health: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-23414888. Modern ECT is given under general anaesthetic as a therapy of last choice for severe depression (with or without bipolar disorder); however, it remains controversial. While some patients derive great benefits from it, others have reported side effects such as profound memory loss. It will probably remain controversial until there is a better understanding of the effect of electrical brain activity on mood disorders.

We did the E.A.S.Y. routine for Little Saff from around 4 months, but I still breastfed my daughter to sleep. She was never a great sleeper and went through massive growth spurts lasting for weeks. We also coslept a lot which helped. For us it was more like Eat, Awake (eat again), Sleep (sleep eat), You-time (cosleep... or laundry). In the evening we did bath, baby massage/songs, bed, even from a few weeks old. It helped us put a metaphorical full-stop at the end of the day, even though I was often up at night several times. You can introduce a routine at any age, no? A routine is just a guideline in your day (not the same thing as a schedule). If you go with a very rigid schedule too early, you may end up just constantly changing it as your baby makes developmental leaps. If you have a routine, you can be more flexible.

That's funny because I felt the reverse from some of my friends when they had children. I felt shut out of their lives. I desperately wanted to be part of their and their new children's lives, but they seemed to be totally consumed with family time, or thought I wouldn't want to join children's activities with them because I didn't have any children. I have a friend (with children of course) who says the world is divided into 2 types of people: Those who have children and those who don't. But I think there's more to it than that. I think the world is divided into people who are understanding about children, and those who aren't. Long before I ever had my own child, I loved children and was very patient and understanding about family relationships. Sure, children change things in a way that only their parents can understand -- and even some people who have children aren't very understanding about other people's families/children! -- but if you feel like your friends are your real friends, then don't give up on the friendship, but work on having it change and grown if it's worth keeping. And if not, don't be afraid of making new friends! xx

No, I think legally they cannot exclude children over potty training issues. It's part of their duty of care.

Otta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "My post was in response to the suggestion that > it's unintelligent to wish Catherine well." > > > I never actually said that to be fair. I didn't say that you said it, which is why I didn't quote you above. There was simply the suggestion of it in your statement: "A couple of people that I previously thought were intellegent have posted things like 'wonderful news, well done Kate' on Facebook." Therefore, by this statement, they no longer appear to be intelligent in your p.o.v. because they have wished her well. Just one possible interpretation. If that's not what you meant, please feel free to clarify. xx

zeban Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I am so relieved I don't live in the UK right now Yes, I'm relieved you don't live here either. ;-)

zeban Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Completely agree Jeremy re Saffron's post and in > general. And I'm sorry but let's be real, she's > done what the majority of half of the world's > population has. It's absolutely nothing special. Tell someone who had an unexplained stillbirth, or lost a partner in childbirth, that a healthy mother and baby is nothing special. Go on tell them. They're listening. Some of them are on this Forum. Just because something happens frequently, doesn't mean that it isn't special. If you or Jeremy or Bob etc want to talk about how you dislike the Royals as an institution, that fine. Opinions differ. But to me then, you're the ones "confusing the issue" with simply congratulating Catherine on the birth.

Jeremy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Saffron, I really think you're confusing the > issue. Of course people (well... normal people) > are glad that the baby's healthy, etc. Just > because we're not interested in (or don't agree > with) the institution of royalty and resent the > blanket media coverage, doesn't mean we resent > them on a personal level or wish them harm. Not at all confusing the issue. My post was in response to the suggestion that it's unintelligent to wish Catherine well. I disagree, because I think it shows a great deal of emotional intelligence and sympathy. My post was also in response to congratulations being irrelevant, or Catherine not caring about them. Again I disagree, because I don't think people necessarily disregard congratulations on a new baby just because they don't personally know the well-wishers.

Wow, what an amazing bunch of posts. :) Did any Forumites share a birth with the new prince, or know anyone who did? My friend K just missed it by a few days. So many lovely (and difficult) memories of the first few days. If I had anything to do differently, I'd definitely splash out for a postnatal doula. Unfortunately we had spent all our money on getting married (on my due date) the day before Little Saff was born!!

It wasn't so very long ago that childbirth was the leading cause of death for women in the UK (and still is in many undeveloped countries, I suspect). In addition to which, although the stillbirth rate in the UK is significantly lower than in poor nations, it is still shockingly high compared to other Western countries (11 stillborn babies per day). It may be argued that those stillbirths are due to negligence. However, that is not the case. A percentage of the stillbirths which happen in the UK every year, in otherwise healthy pregnancies, remain unexplained. It doesn't just happen to poor, unknown families. It happens to rich celebrities too. Just about this time last year Gary Barlow and his wife Dawn very sadly suffered a stillbirth. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19163712 So to see a woman like Catherine who has professed a deep desire to have child, then go on successfully to attain that desire with both mother and baby healthy is indeed a thing upon which to be congratulated. Personally, I received many congratulations on the birth of my child, some from people I barely knew, and a few from perfect strangers. Of course I can't speak for every woman, but I cherished every congratulation that I received, as did my husband and our families. To people who are naysaying the royal birth, what would you be saying if Catherine had had a stillbirth? Nothing, I hope. http://www.uk-sands.org/home.html http://www.bigbuddhafilms.co.uk/films/documentary/still-born-still-loved/

We've done a combo of pull-ups and knickers, no confusion. But Little Saff is a bit older (3.5yrs). We've been offering potty and toilet since she was ~2yo, but always at her own pace which was a bit slow. She started nursery at 2.5yrs, and they suggested knickers during the day after she'd been there a month as she was able to use the toilets fine with classmates. For the age group below hers at nursery, I've noticed that they keep extra potties handy when the older and younger groups are playing together. What are the toilets like for the age group immediately above your LO at nursery? Will toilets be more accessible? Could your LO be moved up to the next group sooner? (My daughter was put with 3 to 5 yo group at 2.5 because she was so active and confident.) Or could the nursery keep a potty handy for her if toilets aren't easily accessed?

From one woman to another, wishing Catherine a safe and straightforward labour. I hope the baby will be a girl. .. but maybe I'm a little biased! One of the most memorable moments from my labour with Little Saff was discovering that Hubbie had eaten all my Bounty bars. I was so focused on the labour, the only thing I could think to say was "You rascal"! (Also quite memorable that he says I nearly broke his wrist... heehee.) What were your memorable moments from labour? What would you do the same/different?

If you're unhappy with the school, do let them know how you think it could have been handled differently, but in a supportive way if you can. It's not their fault they have to bulge. Challenge current policy at the level of central government if you have the time and energy. Gove has made a pig's ear of education, and it's set to get worse. He's so far out of touch on education, he doesn't know his arse from his elbow.

How old is your LO? If today was her first day back at nursery, how do you know what their overall approach will be? I think you should just talk to them and let them know your concerns, but be prepared to listen to their opinions too. Xx

Re building new schools: I don'tthink that under new education laws local authorities are allowed to build new schools. They're meant only to expand existing schools, or work with setting up new free schools. This seems to be the government's way of trying to force councils to accept free schools, instead of letting them evolve over time. This seems to have backfired, souring people on the concept and simultaneously failing to create more school places. So if you want to challenge it, you probably need to challenge it at the level of council policy (not at the level of the school itself). For example, could your local authority have done more to help establish new free schools, which could alleviate bulges in other schools? There are 2 problems with this. 1, free schools may not have presented themselves in sufficient numbers. Or 2, free schools applying to the LA may not have offered enough places to make the viable (ie poor value for investment).

Considering how long the waiting list for housing is, I'd say there are fair arguments on either side of the issue. You can probably have the school admonished through some quasi official channel, but I don't think you can challenge the bulge itself without providing evidence of a better option within the council.

Acetone? But could also damage the paint!