Saffron

http://mondoweiss.net/2013/08/bbc-to-censor-violinist-nigel-kennedys-statement-about-israeli-apartheid-from-tv-broadcast.html

DH has previously lived and worked in east Africa, mainly Tanzania. On his last journey there, he ran out of malaria tablets a few days before returning home to London. He didn't like taking the tablets and thought a few days probably wouldn't make a difference. Shortly after returning to London he developed flu-like symptoms, which NHS physicians unbelievably failed to diagnose as malaria, despite the fact that he told them he had been in sub-Saharan Africa.* He was sent home. Not long after this, he recounts that he awoke with a terrible feeling of foreboding that his mortal days were numbered. So he again sought medical treatment. The nurse asked him for a urine sample, which was black due to rampant malaria infection causing haemolysed blood cells to enter the urine. That was the last thing he said he can remember because he passed out in the nurse's office with cerebral malaria. The next thing he knew, he was waking up from a coma in a hospital bed. He is incredibly lucky to be alive and not to have suffered any long term disability. He was considering returning to Tanzania a few years ago b/c he so much enjoyed his work there with the Buigiri school for the blind. And I was really looking forward to going with him b/c I've never been to Africa. However, we then fell pregnant with Little Saff, and we decided to delay our plans until she is older, so that she could be fully vaccinated. So, no, I wouldn't take an infant anywhere that malaria is endemic. But that's just me. As Fuschia writes, you have to weigh up the risks/benefits and decide for yourself. Find more information here: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK2621/ http://www.atsu.edu/faculty/chamberlain/Website/lectures/lecture/malaria.htm Another thing to consider would be who could look after your children if both you and your partner had the misfortune to be ill at the same time. Eg, are the relatives elderly, work, have other children to look after etc? A compromise might be if you spent the money you'd have used for your trip to Benin, instead to buy plane tickets for some of your relatives to fly to London? Good luck with whatever decision you make, and I hope you and your partner are able to see his relatives soon. xx *This is before we met. If I had been there, I would obviously have been shouting the A&E down for a malaria test immediately!

You could also get a "butterfly" pillow. These are for babies to help prevent flat head syndrome when they sleep on their backs. Or, what about painting a piece of pottery at All Fired Up and having it personalised?

fl0wer Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I saw a good kind of horse-shoe shaped cushion > either the mother puts it around her middle while > she is breastfeeding to prop the baby in her arms > with less weight, > or to help the baby sit up on its own more safely. NCT website and Mothercare sell these. I had both a small horseshoe-shaped one and a larger L-shaped one. They were really useful for breastfeeding.

Check out "play schemas" http://www.canterbury.ac.uk/education/protected/eyps/docs/Behavioural-schemas.pdf http://www.leics.gov.uk/penn_green_schemas.pdf I've found this concept useful when thinking about the types of toys my daughter will play with most. My LO does a lot of "enveloping/enclosure", so the next time I buy toys, I'm going to look for nesting dolls. Bimbily and NotOnTheHighStreet (both online) both have some interesting toys. I've not been in Just Williams in a while, but Gently Elephant on Brockley Road (near Brockley Station) has lots of interesting toys.

These look fun: http://www.gumigem.co.uk/

Can you go to a sympathetic GP/HV ostensibly for advice about the allergies, then also ask about help with anxiety while you're there?

What's wrong with contacting a therapist? Did her dad have a bad experience with it? Even if it is just a phase, a therapist could help you develop coping skills to transition out of it and also deal with future occurrences. I had terrible anxiety as a child. I wish it had been recognised and treated earlier. Xx

"...talk with your doctor..." (Ahem, article written by Dr Steven Dowshen.) Well he would say that, wouldn't he? And, no surprises, a brief search turns up that he's got a book to sell. The word "unscrupulous" comes to mind.

If we can learn by the mistakes we feel that our parents made, and help our children to understand how to learn from our own mistakes together, then maybe each generation can move a little further forward. My own mother was/is (she's mellowed some with age, hers and mine) a rather judgemental person. It meant that when I was younger, I automatically hid anything from her that I thought she wouldn't agree with. This is something I would strive to change for myself, and hope not have this problem so much with my own daughter. Children need the freedom to make mistakes, and to make their own choices without undue judgment. They need help in understanding how to make "good" decisions in all circumstances, not just the decisions that we as parent might think are "good for them". I don't think it's inevitable that they will hate you, unless you make yourself a figure of hate. Your ideals and opinions will differ. There will be strong feelings on both sides. Teaching your children constructively how to handle disagreement and also yourself being willing to accept compromises must surely go a long way to raising a happy loving family? (Sorry can't offer any advice about the "embarrassment" bit. My dad still embarrasses me, though I appreciate that others find him exceeding funny. Groan!)

Last time I went to Camber Sands, the state of the toilets was so bad that I'd rather have pissed in a hole! Plus there was a really steep sand dune between the beach and toilets, which would have been tough to get up and over quickly with small children. Of course every beach is different, so best to be prepared.

My grandmother always wore a copper ring for her arthritis. There is some data to suggest that the interaction of copper with the skin could have an effect on arthritis, so if your dad is wearing copper it needs to be fitting quite close to the skin like a ring or very snug bracelet. xx

Depends on what's broken. If the electronics are fine, but the axel has broken or slipped its gear, then someone who's good with bikes could probably replace or rethread the axel if its metal. However if the broken parts are plastic, it would be much more difficult to repair without correct replacement pieces. If the problem is electrical, then you might get a local electrician to take a quick look. Did you contact the maker, or shop where you bought it? Could you post a picture, so we have a better idea of what it looks like / what might be wrong with it?

I also enquired about this some time ago, no reply. From their webpage, they have a new permanent location (not ED) and are still a fee-paying school.

You could try the bicycle shop maybe?

Colababe, where you start depends on what you think will suit you and your LO, and how he responds to the new routine. If your LO has night time separation anxiety or other night time issues, illness, etc, then controlled crying techniques would not be recommended. If you do want to try CC techniques, I'd guess that you might benefit from having some profession support and planning since your partner won't be around to help. Nicola Watson comes highly recommended on this Forum for all kinds of sleep advice, though I've not used her. I second the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' book for gentle ways to help your baby sleep, although we only had mixed success with it with Little Saff who has always been a difficult sleeper. We did also have some success with behavioural 'fade' techniques, which are sometimes called 'gradual retreat' methods. In our case we used a bottle and did a milk to water fade. There are different schedules for these, you can probably google one that works or searcg the library for sleep books. I'd also recommend 'The Good Sleep Guide'. xx

Ah, that's often referred to as 'one cycle sleep syndrome', and sleep gurus will try to tell you all kinds of crazy reasons why it's bad, then sell you lots of books about how to fix it. As near as I can tell from friends whose babies did this at the same age, it's pretty normal, and they outgrow it. But try googling it and see what other parents are doing to cope. Might give you some ideas on how to get through it? Also, we started Baby Sensory classes around this age. My daughter used to sleep really well after them. If you can time the class around her naps, then you might get a slightly longer nap afterwards? (Never too early for a GnT! xx)

Check if your local health shop has breastfeeding supplements like fenugreek and blessed thistle. I really liked this brand: http://www.motherlove.com/product/530-More-Milk-Plus.html.

souvlaki Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Two option method is already in place, though she > now usually says; 'none of them - I dont want > anything!'. I also have been doing the build up > thing - so much so, that she now tells me the > sequence herself! Then just before we are about > ton head upstairs she starts screaming that she > doesnt want to do bath, bed etc. Argghhh. I think > we are all just tired and want to get back to our > own home. > > I think being firmer for a few nights might work, > but she just seems to be in a bit of a tantrum > stage, whatever the time of day. > > :( I can totally understand everything you've written b/c my LO is just the same. Earlier bedtime didn't work, neither did dropping naps (gutted, as these seem brilliant for everyone else, arrrrgh!). Needless to say, some children really have trouble transitioning from one activity to another, and it's worse not only when they're tired but also seems to become magnified during periods of developmental leaps. For us, too firm an approach leads to supernova style breakdowns b/c it doesn't match my general parenting approach with her, and she immediately senses that I'm stressing out. Now when she doesn't want a bath, I offer her the option of a shower or a wash in the sink. She often likes a wash a sink, and this seems to be an issue of control. She can run the water and wash herself (sort of, but it's good enough most of the time). Is there a way you can give your LO more control (or the illusion of control) over the bedtime routine? I like the idea of the childminder having her in pjs early. Then even if she doesn't go to bed straight away, at least it's taken some of the hassle out for you. Sometimes children seem to test their parents most just before they make a developmental leap towards more independence (particularly true for 2-4 years old). That extra bit of love and attention she may be craving at bedtime could be just the thing to help her leap forward with confidence. xx

srisky Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Thanks everyone for your input. > > I spoke with the manager and my daughter's key > worker and they are happy to keep her in knickers > during the day and use pull-ups for naps. We only > use pull-ups for overnight but I am fine with the > compromise, as they can still be referred to as > her 'bed-time pants'. Potty training is going > fine, usually one wee accident a day, although > none today - hoorah! - and she has long stopped > asking for stickers for her reward chart after > each wee/poo. As a bonus, she now says (very > loudly) "clever mummy, you did a wee, well done!", > whenever she come into the loos with me! > > Incidentally, our nursery is a daycare nursery, > taking children from 4 months-ish, so potty > training is very much part of their role. Hey that sounds brilliant! Good luck!

Belle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > school nurseries tend to say children have to be > potty trained - so that's for kids age 3 and up. > Even so, I think you can challenge this (am sure a > regular poster had this issue in fact and may have > posted about it). It's different with daycare type > nurseries. My experience with a nursery school > where my oldest went 2 mornings a week was that > they were really suppoortive of potty-training - > there was no mention of going back to nappies, and > it so happened that several were potty training at > the same time so they did a big sticker chart for > them and trooped them all off to the toilets > several times a day. From memory my son had a few > accidents there and they just dealt with this in a > very matter of fact way. I don't recall any poo > accidents but am sure they'd have dealt with them > the same way. I was very grateful for their > support actually. I would absolutely talk to them > and make your feelings known re how you want them > to handle the potty training. If daycare-type nurseries and private pre-schools are accepting any early years funding from the government (ie free 15 hours) then they would be obliged by the same equality and disability legislation as school nurseries as far as I understand. This includes potty training. Children should not be discriminated against by holding them back developmentally due to toileting issues. But it seems not uncommon for nurseries to have different agendas.

Otta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Exactly! > > Saffron, I don't disagree with your general point > about wishing this woman good luck and good > health. I was chatting with my wife about how > awful it would be if something went wrong, > magnified by the masses of people outside thinking > they own a piece of your personal life. > > I just think all the Facebook comments are cringe > worthy. > > Also, if congratulations from strangers meant > something to you, that's great. I suspect there > are an equal number of women who just want to be > left the hell alone though. Ok, I think I understand what you mean there. You find it odd that people would offer congratulations to a public figure (particularly those who wouldn't generally be prone to such things)... In which case what I'm saying is that the opposite is also true: It's equally odd that people who wouldn't normally criticise a new mother & child and their well-wishers, feel the need to do so simply because she is a public figure. (Exceptions being made for people who feel the need to celebrate/criticize any public figure.)

El Pibe Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > A rock the diameter of three london buses coming > along at once would probably do the job nicely, > but the cost of rentals would be the least of our > worries if it hit dulwich. > > Given the amount of writing about it, surely the > zombie apocalypse is well overdue? We're agreed then, zombies it is. Shall I start the petition?

LM, so you don't agree that it's lower income families that will be affected, or you don't agree that the bubble won't burst (or we're not headed for a dominant rental market)? I agree that it's middle income workers who are likely to be squeezed. Although "low income" makes sense, if DJKQ meant low income renter, ie not those receiving social housing? So if middle income workers are being squeezed out, will there come a time when they're in short enough supply to make their jobs worth more?

numbers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > good grief zeban, you edit your posts so > frequently (and before I even managed to type out > my reply above). Why so defensive? no-one was > saying you shouldn't be interested in edf or what > forumites had to say. however, for someone who was > complaining about the UK media circus on birth of > royal baby and being glad they weren't in the UK, > I'd imagine that you'd be avoiding threads with > "after great excitement....a baby boy" in the > title, rather than seeking them out, thats all. > > Obviously I was wrong. Am also confused as to why people who profess dislike/disinterest seem to seek out the exact things they dislike, but I guess that's part of the human condition that everyone needs an outlet. *Sigh*