dulwichmum

Oh Mick Mac, if I were not visiting this forum on my phone tonight, I could load up some photos of what more a man could want... I am simply luscious you know. And HB darling, tonight I am on Chablis, as per usual. I adore my dry white wine (slurs words)...

I am watching you (wags finger).

That's it. You are barred!

Laughs hysterically...

I'll have you know that I will sue anyone who mentions my name in association with ANY implication that I would be involved in the exchange of cash for sex. (Stamps foot).

Can I offer you a top up sweetie?

Oh Hoonaloochieb darling, I didn't understand a word of that so it is probably true and I am definitely drunk (hic).

This is not fair! I can't use Google on my phone. It keeps crashing. Grrr

You sound so bitter darling. Just think of me as an attractive version of Sue Ellen and you dear heart, a downmarket Ray Crebs!

Now you are getting the idea darling! Let's pop Lambeth behind a wall too sweetie. I would insist on Lewisham too (I know where you live) but you are entertaining me, for now...

I ship all of my help in from Eastern Europe sweetie and I confiscate their passports when they arrive. That way, if James loses his job, I can sell their kidneys on Ebay and the poppets get to stay at independant schools!

And another thing, if you wipe out the entire population of SE15 in the manner you describe, those of you who do not employ live in help, may be forced to clean your own homes. Isn't SE15 where all of your domestic help comes from?

Oh Mr Wolf. I feel that you are being somewhat heavy handed. And should we not include Peckham in this plan? I feel no need to include any of the property on the far side of Goose Green in our new improved community.

Oh red devil sweetie, what a great point.

I think that it is about time we sealed off the Clockhouse end of Barry Road. It leads to SE15, and that postcod is not for everyone. I would like to spearhead a campaign to make Dulwich a gated community. Enough is enough.

Once Belair house was really great, but now, for some reason, it always smells of cabbage and the decor is very naff.

He loves the sauce himself!

I am touched (but still sulking)... We are about to pull out of the drive in our fabulous Audi Q7, bound for Wales and the joys of my Monster-in-Law. Pray for us, please (sob).

Sean darling! I am lost for words (sniff).

How very dare you!

I almost inhaled my coffee! Shame on you Mick Mac, if it was not for the fact that my nail varnish is wet, I would slap your bottom for that.

I am simply a girl who likes to have fun...(sigh). There will always be a special place in my heart for Michael (plants big kiss on his nose) and Mick Mac - can I pour you a drink sweetie? (shhh, they will probably tell me off because it is before noon).

TO THE NAUGHTY STEP! HOP TO IT...

PeckhamRose sweetie, That looks like a 1970's Christmas decoration. Does it have an alternative use (like some kind of food processing capability) or are we off topic?

wee quinnie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > DM - was the booze free then? Who were your celeb > chefs? (Sorry realise I have gone a bit off > topic). > > William Hague looks vaguely potatoey. It wasn't free, but the wine list they distributed was not the usual one. A lot of the wine on it came in at around the ?15 mark and was cheap, jammy, high alcohol plonk. I went straight from work and had no lunch or breakfast so I was weak with hunger, as was my darling man (despite the fact that he had probably eaten his own body weight for lunch). I wouldn't go to something like that again, because I must admit that despite the fact I love fine dining, this felt as though it was not about the food at all. It was a nice offer to place the invitation on the forum, but I think it was about getting people drunk and leaving them starving (you couldn't even buy bar snacks) and hoping that they would say things that could make good TV. They had warned that there could be a wait for the food (to be fair), but three hours from 6.45, and only a starter with no possibility of anything else to snack on, mid-week when people were clearly coming straight from work, was just dreadful. I am still not the better of that. I doubt any of the diners managed to stay sober.