Michael Palaeologus

I feel betrayed. Do you think I could sell the story of my betrayal to a newspaper?

I would like to bring to your attention the cruel use of Panda scrotums in the buffing of pine nuts. Your Panda is an endangered species and they dont take kindly to their scrota being buffed upon. It has only recently been brought to my notice. Look out for tell-tale black and white hairs and dried bamboo shoots in amongst your pine nuts. Down with this sort of thing.

I think that the change of shape is because they are buffed vigorously on the scrotums of Pandas. Clearly this takes time, and so money, as a suitably scrotumed Panda is quite hard to find and some have been known to object to said buffing.

... Partridge. Pear tree?

Stonking great hot air balloon over ED - well Peckham Rye. Quite low, drifing south east. As its the glorious 12th, I am allowed to take a shot? It would look magnificent mounted on the wall.

Many of us are ...

Kayli (sherbet to southerners) from the suck-shop. Bought in quarters in a paper bag. It came in bright yellow (stained your fingers a nicotine yellow) and pink. It actually had a more crystaline structure than sherbet. Looking back it was just sugar with a sour coating.

People watching .... .............in strip clubs

"A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat" - A questonable message, on a number of levels. I like peanuts and chocolate in any form (but Boost is a fave) and Fruit Pastilles. Not at the same time though. Well, saying that I havent tried them together. Yet. Has anybody tried the Lidl own brand equivalents of Mars, Snickers and Twix? Really rather good. I hope the Lovely Liz, the diabetes nurse at The Gardens Surgery isnt reading this.

So that would be Sean holding a baby Who would have thought it?

"I could go on..... " We know.

I take 2 options: 1 - Go into work early and use the big office shredder 2 - Wait until I visit a mate that lives in the country and use his garden waste burner

I work with a bloke who washed Bobby Moore's car and later in life, dated Germaine Greer. I have had a curry in the same restaurant and at the same time as Robert Plant.

I saw a green parakeet eating a clown on Peckham Rye earlier this week. I didnt mention it because I didnt think people would believe me.

VBC is also to be found in Kebab and Wine investing in a spot if sustinance later on in the evening, when nobody is watching... There is the Curry Club too.

Big squash and my runners are coming through. Bit concerned that there arent as many polinating insects about as previous years.

At Trent Bridge tomorrow me. Could be exciting; or short.

With a wing clapped to one ear?

He's upside down.

Congratulations to Hannah and Greg!! Eventually, can we have our bears back please? Keep them for a few months, but we need them back for next year. The idea is that they will be kept on display at the Clockhouse Pub. Ta.

I shall be at the finishing line for 2pm. Barriet the Bear will be close by.

Barriet is very much looking forward to her first outing as the Ladies Award. I will buff her up nicely for Saturday.

If there are only a few of us, how aboyt Ganapati in Bellenden? Meet at the Victoria for drinks beforehand? If so I will need to book it tonight.

I am up for this Wednesday! Who else? Lets keep it local....