telemum

tea dance for little people (tdlp.co.uk) are doing santa's grotto in Crofton Park for two days next week - if their previous stuff is anything to go by should be amazing. more info on the website

Fifteen minutes a day of homework would be the death of all of us, I think - we have enough problems with the daily reading book, weekly spellings and weekly homework....(frequently like pulling teeth for my summerborn daughter!) Interesting that the schools all do it so differently

gwod, that looks like the same list...though they did some of them in Reception (they were called 'key words' but they still had to be able to write them so I'm not really sure what the difference was)

My dd, at Dalmain in Se23 (Yr1) does about eight spellings a week. If she doesn't get them all right we get them back with a note (!). All I can gather from her is that they 'hop' up a chart on the wall as they learn more sets of spellings and that there are a hundred to know by the end of Yr1. We were given the full list at parents evening and told to go back over them if she seemed shaky on ones she had already done. Apart from the spelling tests though it appears to be phonics all the way - leastways they seem happy that she still spells 'because' 'bkos'!

Elsa, my Spanish au pair (also in Forest Hill/Honor Oak) arrives tomorrow - would you mind me giving her your email? Thanks

This struck such a chord with me. Well done - you're doing a fantastic job with your baby. Is very stressful I know - I've been there twice. My older dd (now five) fell off the charts while I was breastfeeding her. Though I did supplement with formula in the end she had three months exclusive breastmilk and I continued to mix feed her until six months when she refused all milk (stubborn girl). Some things that helped; Expressing and storing (which you are doing) and in fact sometimes expressing after a feed and then giving her the milk in a bottle. I also took domperidone (prescribed initially by Kings) which helped my supply massively. Fast forward five years and she's still not the largest girl in the world (in fact I think she remains on the 0.4th centile) and she doesn't like milk, at all. Never has. Which may have been the main problem. With daughter 2 it was better. I knew to be proactive. I bought my own weighing scales (no more trips to the HV) and expressed from the off as well as taking domperidone from week two. When I compared their two red books I could see that the curves were exactly the same - as if they were genetically programmed to lose weight at one point. When she did fall massively I supplemented with formula for a few weeks and then went back to breastfeeding. She only gave up when she was a year old. Sorry for the lengthy response. Don't know if any of it is useful but I'm happy to discuss if its helpful - I was a temporary expert on infant weight loss for a bit!

Hi, can't help you with language schools, I'm afraid, but our Spanish au pair starts in two weeks - happy to introduce her when she turns up (but we're in SE23)

I have a daughter at a school (Honor Oak/ Forest Hill) that was rated Outstanding, and is now 'Good with Outstanding Features'. It's the same school. Same head, same teachers (mostly). Now much less hype surrounding it though! Because of that I guess I take the Ofsted with a pinch of salt - it is just a snapshot of one day. And I'm just as happy with the school as those who joined it when it was Outstanding! If a report highlighted specific issues that were important to me then I would want to ask questions about them of a head. We chose the school (in so much as you can 'choose' any school round here) for its welcoming feeling, approachable staff, confident children, rather than its Ofsted. And a school with a bad Ofsted (Special Measures) often gets a lot of help and can be turned round very quickly. But going round a few should give you a feel of what you want... Good luck!

I also pay mine ?45 a day for my two year old including lunch and tea (drop off at 8:30 and finish 5:30 ish) and then ?15 for school pick up for my older daughter - including tea, of course... Hope that helps!

Princess Smartypants, by Babette Cole. Worst Witch books The Paperbag Princess and would second blue kangaroo. Clever Polly and the Stupid Wolf

Hello - we rent ours from Soundheart on Brockley Rise (also a 1/8 - started on a 1/10 and they were happy to swap them over). They've been fine - but may be a bit far away from you?

I've done both, with babies and toddlers. Virgin were on balance very slightly better with the toddler, but the real difference is the type of cot that can be attached to the bulkhead seat. The BA one had to be removed in turbulence and virgin's didn't. I'd check that out. This was two years ago so maybe slightly different now. Both fab in all other ways

Hi, my daughter, who is 4, started having private violin lessons this year (she begged for them - I know nothing about the violin!). I'd heartily recommend her teacher, who is down in SE23. We go to her on Saturday mornings and she does 20 minutes (definitely all my daughter can cope with at this age) for a tenner. She's not Suzuki, but I do go along obviously to take her, but also it is helpful so that I can help her practice. This may be less necessary as they get older. We hired her violin (they grow out of them very quickly) from Soundheart on Brockley Rise. If you want more details do pm me though I know that we're a little way from Nunhead. I was bemused by my daughter's desire to play violin so young, but she does really really love it and loves her teacher too, which is crucial for me.

reindeer in SE23 tomorrow - Dalmain school 4:30 til 7 - and santa, of course.

Dalmain in SE23- this Friday between 4:30 and 7pm. Real reindeer, carol singing, father christmas grotto, craft stations and lots and lots of other things.

Sounds hideous. I deeply sympathise. I don't have quite that level of issue with my two (2 and 4), but one thing that has really helped when they've not been tired enough to sleep or couldn't get back off has been long audiobooks on the ipod (on a dock in their bedroom). They have a selection including the Just So Stories (very, very long) and some bedtime meditation stuff by a lady called Christiane Kerr which I'd recommend pretty highly. These work for both of them, and go on for an hour or so, which may give you a bit of time to rest yourself, or may be enough to 'take her out of herself' so she can get back to sleep. Apologies if you've tried all that, but it has really helped us - and it works for both older and younger one. And I feel like I haven't entirely abandoned them when they can't sleep, without them having to be in bed with us!

Another vote for the miracle blanket. Though dd1 needed swaddling for so long I had to cut a hole for her feet. Is really really good though

I've a birth pool in a box you can borrow/have. Used once (successfully and very happy with it). You'd need a new liner. We didn't need electric pump. Let me know if that's helpful - it's the smaller one. I'm 5 foot 4 (and an important half!) and it was absolutely fine.

The school preparation thing has been the real learning curve for dd. She's learnt the whole morning routine (bookbag, uniform, register, carpet time) and can cope with 25/30 in a class which should help her not to be overwhelmed by sheer numbers at Reception (at least I can hope!). And AM nursery means she has time to see her school friends more informally in the afternoons too - we've had a lot of time doing that and I think that's helpful too. When I said too academic, I was mostly freaked out by the sight of my tiny girl in school uniform plus the whole 'home visits'and recognise own name on register business. DD is a July baby so she has to do things quite young. It also emerged later that the reason she was coming home with so much 'work' is that she insisted on doing it, even when it was the older children's turn. Now it's her turn she refuses to do so, but that's another story! They do do numbers and letters (at least they go round the school searching for them on 'number hunts' and I've seen some writing on the walls) but mostly it seems to be singing, stories, painting, smelly playdough and spending an awful lot of time in the home corner/post office. But what I've been really impressed by is the commitment to each individual child's development, despite the fact that there are so many of them, and how well they've got to know dd. I guess any good nursery in either sector will do that - but I could see why dds school was so keen on its Reception kids going through the nursery when I saw how well it prepared them for that particular school.

If you're still looking at this - my daughter did both. I was far more impressed with the school nursery (but we're in se23 so it may be different). School nursery teacher is a qualified teacher with an NNEB and Teaching Assistants. The kids are no more or less 'mixed' than they were in dds private nursery (though it wasn't one of the very very expensive ones) and she's made more friends, had more playdates and learnt all sorts of things. I also know that when she goes up to Reception in Jan she'll know most of her class. The only drawbacks are a) it's a pain in the neck finding childcare for the pms when she only does mornings b)it is EVERY day (and we both work part time) which can be quite a commitment and you need to get there on time (feel like we're constantly late) c) I can't put her younger sister in as well. d) When she started at a young 3, it seemed very academic for her and she looked tiny in her uniform. Now she's bigger I can see that they knew exactly what they were doing! All in all, less convenient for us, but a fantastic experience for her.

this might sound weird, but do check if you've changed anything she drinks. My daughter wets her bed if she drinks elderflower cordial (at any time during the day) or anything with berries in it during the afternoon. Not sure why, but it's always been the case. Might be worth checking especially if she ever drinks squash or cordial. She's just four, too.

Hi I had a natural homebirth after a third degree tear. First child at Kings, second under the Lewisham midwives ( I live in SE23). It was one of the best decisions I ever made. Happy to talk to you about it if it helps. Good luck