midivydale

Me too! Kittysailing how are you? Have been thinking about you so much!

Congratulations on your promotion! It is a hard choice to make but to echo lochie (wise lady:) ) no choice has do be made definate. You can change back. I am in a similar predicament as i am jus starting to negotiate my return to a job in the city. Do i ask to work 3 days (and resign to the fact that i will be bypassed for every promotion) or go back to full time. I have decided after alot of sleepless nights to do 3 day weeks- for now. We went through hell and back to have our son- i dont know if We can have any more children so at this point in time the choice is more time with ds. Good luck with whatever you decide and dont forget that you can only base a decision on the here and now. What does your other half say? C x

Hi, i am sorry that i dont have any wisdom to share i just wanted to send a big cyberhug and say that i think you have done a fantastic job! Amazing. I am sure that some of the other regular posters have some advice to share. Cx

Aaaw J i am so so happy to hear this!

EPIC

This thread has given me a much needed laugh. My partner and I have had one hour off together since DS was born in March. We went to Sainsburys! Who said romance is dead:)

Oh dear, i just realised there is a whole new world outside the family thread:)

Saffrons thread got me thinking (dangerous thing i know). So here goes. To each and everyone of you parents who i have ever rolled my eyes at, glared at, made faces at and (oh the shame) made huffing and puffing noises at when your children have cried, screamed or even made the slightest noise. I am so very sorry. I didnt know any better, i was naive (and hugely jealous of your kids not that i would have admit it). I am so so sorry. I sometimes asked to ve seated somewhere else in coffeehops or bars when people with children being children "ruined" my me time. Oh dear Let us just say, with a reflux baby who has cried ALOT i gor what i deserved. If you ever recognise me (probably not as i am far fry from my former self) then Please feel free to gloat or say i told you so. C xx

Agree, you cant fail your birthplan. I can relate to the sense of failure, sadness and in my case trauma is possibly the best word i can find. These ladies are right, those feelings will fade but you need time. I posted a "how do you recover from a traumatic birth" thread earlier this year and had lovely responses. The first few weeks are incredibly hard but it will get better/easier in all directions. If feelings of failure/sadness/trauma frm birh persists do not hesitate to seek help. I went down that route and my feelings and thoughts changed eventually. There is no rush to any of this, be gentle on yourself you have been through an ordeal which it takes time To recover from. I just wanted to say that should you when the time feels right need help, there is help available. Sometimes just getting it off your chest helps and if so i Would be happy to listen face to face or over PM. Hang in there and like sillywoman says just getting through means you are doing grand, regardless of the hows and ifs and buts!

Dev, so nice to hear that you feel more positive, You are doing a great great job! It is so hard in the early weeks and nothing can really prepare you for it. There are ladies here with alot more success and good advice re bf than me i just wanted so say well done! Also have you tried bf in the bath like saffron suggested? Alot of my friends had success that way. Are you on domperidone for your milk supply? Again you are doing a great great job. Cxx PS yes you can call claire and ask questions over the phone (and to give you advice) but to diagnose she may need you to go and see her.

Have you tried clare kedeaves at kings? (not sure of spelling) at kings? She is goid at spotting tt and other issues such as high palate. I also had alot more luck with heat (ie warm showers) than cold. I also got help from lactation consultant kate fisher, i would recommend them both dearly. Let me know if you need contact details. I am sorry to hear that you are in pain and hope you get the help you need fast! Best of luck! C x

Smiler, i sadly can not tick any point what so ever on your list. I am in awe of those of you with 2+ children.

DaveR you seem a very sensible man:)

Otta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Moos Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > but I remember exactly when I realised that I > was a mother. > > > Er, labour??? ;-) Ha ha actually no!!! It didnt dawn on me that ds was MY responsibility until months after!! Dont worry- i get it now:)

Agree saffron, as always you make sense!

Mellors "Being a proper mum IMHO is when your children love you, want to spend time to you, talk to you, cuddle you, and call for you if they need you. Not having a clean floor, or serving supper at bang on 5pm." AMEN!

Very brave of you pebbles. I shall be reading it tonight as i too suffer frm imsomnia. As much as i wouldnt wish it on anyone it is comforting to know that you are not the only one. Cx

Oimissus, i hear you. Forgot baby wipes yday but remembered lipgloss?!? In two different shades..

Saffrons thread got me thinking (dangerous thing i know). So here goes. To each and everyone of you parents who i have ever rolled my eyes at, glared at, made faces at and (oh the shame) made huffing and puffing noises at when your children have cried, screamed or even made the slightest noise. I am so very sorry. I didnt know any better, i was naive (and hugely jealous of your kids not that i would have admit it). I am so so sorry. I sometimes asked to ve seated somewhere else in coffeehops or bars when people with children being children "ruined" my me time. Oh dear Let us just say, with a reflux baby who has cried ALOT i gor what i deserved. If you ever recognise me (probably not as i am far fry from my former self) then Please feel free to gloat or say i told you so. C xx

I still get a thrill when i need to sign forms or receive letters addressed to the parent of baby ivydale or see his tiny jumpers around the house. I am a MUM- i have a SON!

Congratulations! As someone who is franticly looking for a nursery for my son i would def put your name down to ensure you have a place. before returning to work. I wish i had! Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy

Being comfortable with YOUR baby that you have and not keep comparing to the "textbook" baby

Dito, i saw this girl every morning for two years. I guess part of me felt sorry for the little girl perhaps in the same way others felt sorry for my bottlefed son ;) I agree though wholeheartedly omissus, it is not in mine or anyones place to judge. I can see myself going down the bribe route too :) it started with the dummy really. Oh dear Also it is highly cultural what is deemed healthy. I have had several intense discussion with my mother in law regarding the nutritional value of deep fried chicken...

I used to see a girl with her young daughter where i toped up my oyster before work and she used to say "go on darlin pick ur brekkie" and the girl would take her pick from the crisps boxes, usually prawn. Did i judge? Yes- I must admit i did.

If any new mothers or mums to be read this, i cant stress enough hiw important good support is if you struggle. There is so much great support for bf in the area but you have to go out wnd found it. This is something dads can help with too. Finding info about nearest bf cafes or lactation consultants for instance. Perhaps a good idea to have a list of numbers at home before labour. Finding a number and driving directions when sleep deprived, burning nipples (sorry) and someone whaling wha wha wha in your ear is rather challenging. For me, it didnt work out but i had some fantastic support. The midwives at kings who supported me night and day on the post natal ward, my community midwife, Clare kedeaves at kings, bf cafe at peckham library, Kate fisher (lactation consultant). So many people and resources and i am truly grateful for that. For us - it was too many issues to overcome in the end but i just wanted to say that there is a lot of help. Not sure this post makes sense- V tired