Pugwash

All care homes have their good and bad points.it also depends on the resident and also their families, expectations. Most staff in care homes, including nurses, are poorly paid,some are happy in their work despite this, the owners of the homes need to make a profit otherwise they cannot survive themselves. Never make an appointment to visit a care home, just turn up. Ideally after 9.30/10 am is a good time, all residents having been washed, dressed and breakfasted by this time. Avoid going after 7 pm when many residents starting going to bed. If you visit a home on Tuesday afternoon and like it, go back at the weekend as frequently different staff. Whilst the building appearance is important - it is the staff that make the home- how long have they been there, their manner with residents, do they treat each resident with respect and individually. Is the TV in the lounge on continiously , what activities take place and how frequently, will staff take residents to local shops or churches. How do staff treat visitors. As a professional person, I have visited several hundred home over the past 15 years throughout the country, and judge how staff treat me as a visitor as an indication of their care. One home I visited in Essex - I had travelled from ED via train to the place and found that no buses ran so had to get a taxi for about 8 miles. Dying to go to the loo when arrived ( the train did not have a loo nor did the station) I introduced myself to staff, showed my ID and who I was visiting, and asked for the visitor's loo. I very begrudgingly shown the loo, saw my gentleman and I had some concerns that his wheelchair was a liitle wide for the doorway (massive indents in doorframe, dents in wheelchair. Staff showed me how they got him and and out room by 'bumping the chair' up and down (scratching it even more)poor old boy petrified at being bumped. met with staff who were concerned more about him dying and how long the local authority would pay for his room after death. Was there at the home for a good 3 hours, not offered a cup of tea or glass of water, I asked them to call a taxi to collect me, they refused. eventually they gave me a phone book and told me to do it myself. In the days before mobiles, they eventually allowed me to use a phone. Having left ED at 8 am and getting back to office around 3.30 pm without having a drink all day (no shops or cafes near either station) I was not a happy bunny. I called the old boy's daughter and asked her what she felt about the home and discovered that they way they treated me, was similiar to how they treated some resident's families. I advised her to remove her father and find an alternative home. Wrote a pretty damming report which I sent to the managers and Essex Social Services. This was the only time I have had a very bad experience at a care home, and often relate this tale to new staff - how they as professionals are treated, can often be a reflection on how relatives and residents are treated. Obviously if they go the other extreme and fawn over the professional,one also queries how residents/relatives are treated. My aunt spent 2- 3 happy years in The Elms before she died, very good management and staff, very caring. I am now in the position of having to decide whether to have my frail 87 year old mother live with us and have a care package or let her go to a nursing home. My mother does not want to do either, but needs someone to be with her the majority of the day as she cannot transfer independently or care for herself.

My daughter (now 25) went to the South of France when she was 15 and doing GCSE Art with Sydenham School, had a smashing time painting, visiting artist houses etc. Went for about 7 days and costs around ?300. A friend's daughter who went to St. Dunstans went within the last 2 years to the far East for 2 - 3 weeks for ?2000 with the school

I too live nearby - I have no problem with any of the residents, if you walk on that side of the road you will often get a smaile from the men. Going in and out of the gate (which leads to the church) residents may say hello to you. Martin the manager is very helpful and if you have any concerns, talk with him.

I am not for a Sunday market - it's bad enough trying to walk up NX Rd on a Saturday. I support the idea of more stalls but a greater variety and less expensive produce.

Just to add to the comments re Denmark Hill - it took me 35 minutes to get from Barry Road to Camberwell this morning, 20 minutes stuck on the stretch of road going down from Dog kennel Hill. 20 minutes late for work. Talking to a Dr at Kings this morning - he was 20 minutes late yesterday morning for his shift. Had to leave work early at 2.50 - sailed all the way through and did not have to stop!!

After reading comments on the 'broken LD' can we weigh up the arguement and ask the same question of Labour. What is going on with labour in Southwark with yet another councillor appearing to desert the party. Do we know why John Friary resigned?. With 2 other councillors suspended - is the going too tough for Labour? Recent budget announcements - how many Labour councillors thought in private that their party was misguided aa to where the cuts had to be made. It is inevitable that cuts have to be made but cutting Holmhurst Day Centre and now announcing that they are withdrawing funding for all non council run day centres in the borough - affecting the elderly, frequently isolated and vulnerable, suffering from dementia, is not the 'caring Labour party' it makes it out to be. From what I have heard about John Friary - he appeared to be a well liked experienced councillor - did he jump or was he pushed?

many thanks for all the advice. Trouble is there is nobody who can go and stay with her, the lodgers have the only spare room and bed. Whilst hubby can stay one night on the sofa - could not do so for an indefinate period in terms of time and his comfort ( he has arthritis as well as another disability). Lodgers have not been seen since Tuesday lunch time, daughter went into their room - TV and playstation still there as well as some of their clothes. Room is a pigsty with mouldy food, unwashed plates, etc. Rent day is Monday, they have already had one warning about late payment of rent and treatened with eviction. We have agreed that I write a letter giving 28 days notice of termination as since hubby is medically retired, he can go and stay with daughter for a few days and we do not want to pay hotel fees. This takes some pressure off daughter, but does not solve the bailiff situation. I have advised her that since the lodgers may let the bailiffs in whilst she is at work, to put stickers on all her property with her name on and place notices in prominant places that all furniture, white goods, TV etc is her property and any attempt to remove will be classed as unlawful. If the lodgers do not return by rent day and rent is not paid, are they still entitled to the 28 days eviction notice and how do you serve it on someone who is not there?. My view is that if you pack their things up and keep in a secure place i.e. a locked cupboard, they cannot make a claim against you for disposing of their belongings. Will certainly change the locks.

When we cleared parents in law house in West Dulwich - the police loaned us a few police cones to put outside the house. Best thing is get someone to go to the house early and put a oouple of dustbins out with string/rope between them, with a note 'space reserved for removal van'. Most people are quite happy with this.

We have similiar quandry - we need to downsize from our large 4 bedroomed house in the next few years due to retirement, but with 6 grandchildren who stay over, would want a 3 bedroom place. 2 double bedroom and a single room to act as a study. Looking at all the estate agents sites, there is very little in ED with decent size rooms, a shower (not over the bath - have a disability) and have 2 toilets. We are looking to the future as if we became more disabled mobility wise, we would need space either to convert a downstairs room into a bedroom and have shower/wc downstairs. Level access on ground floor and level access into house. Alternative would be to have a straight wide staircase for a stairlift. Also parking for car.Garden essential for cats. What I have seen so far will cost me as much as my current home is worth for a much smaller place. ED lacks private sheltered housing complexes - there is only one in Half Moon Lane. Talking about gentrification, in 1969 my mother and I moved from Spurling Road as many of the properties there were deemed poor quality and area had been designated as a slum clearance area twice We went up to Forest Hill, but I later returned to Ondine Road (Grove vale end) before purchasing with relatives my present house. Interestingly, the slum clearance did not happen in Spurling Road so assume new owners spent a few thousand on modernising the properties.

My daughter and I are not in the position of paying them off. She drew up a brief tenancy agreement and got them to sign it. They get Housing Benefit from the council and they accepted the agreement. Once the pregnancy was confirmed and the 12 week scan undertaken, the couple were allowed to make an application to go on the Housing List. My daughter's worry is that the bailiffs may not believe that everything in the house is hers - she evens supplies the bed linen for their room. When she split from her then fiance 3 years ago, she had no idea he had run up hundreds of pounds in debts and had a hard time convincing bailiffs not to take the things she had brought ( he ex had taken things like TV and stero) She was forced to take in a lodger as insufficient income to pay the utility bills and help her run a car (working 15 miles away in the middle of the countryside which has twice a day bus service only - a car is essential) I think she should give a couple of weeks notice to quit, but get legal advice as to how to manage the bailiffs. Her boyfriend, who does not live with her, has offered to be there when she gives notice. Her brother in law is going down tomorrow for the day to do some plumbing work, he might be able to give a better slant on the situation.

My daughter has lodgers who have been with her about 8 months. A young couple - they have one room and use of the house, which I own. Intially they were OK, then started not to pay rent, daughter read them the riot act and this was rectified. The girl is now 5 months pregnant and my daughter has advised that they must leave before the baby is born. She recently was contacted by a baliff company and asked whether the girl was still living there, daughter confirmed and found that the girl owes over ?600 to a company. Daughter has also noted that they have been getting loads of mail and old letters found in the recycling suggest that they owe several hundreds of pounds to other companies. My daughter is afraid of the male, he has gradually become very abusive to his partner, and appears menacing to my daughter. She is afraid to give them eviction notice as baliaffs may take her belongings. Both lodgers are on benefit . As the girl stays away most of the week to get away from her partner, my daughter is left alone in the house with the guy. He has been ok at the moment, but my daughter has witnessed his temper with his partner. She lives in Sussex and the local police are not helpful. I have offered to pay for a solicitor for her. How much notice is she required to give - they pay fortnightly. How can she prove to bailiffs that everything in the house is hers and mine. helpful advice please as to how to resolve the situation without getting hurt. Daughter suffers from OCD and the stress is making situation worse.

I received a letter from the Gardens surgery asking me to make an appointment there for a blood test and after the blood test to make a practice nurse appointment. Blood Test appointment straight forward, went to reception desk after blood taken - 3 weeks to get appointment. Saw practice nurse who wanted me to see a GP urgently, told her about delays, she looked at the computor and immediently booked me in for 9.15 the next morning. Hubby has been off sick since August and was medically retired from work in November. For three weeks tried to get an appointment for him with GP for a 'medical certificate' so that he could apply for ESA, each time was told ring again tomorrow. I explained as a full time worker, I could not spend hours on the phone and my husband was too unwell to make phone call. Left it over Xmas - could'nt face the whole circus again, wrote a letter to his GP explaining symptoms and problems getting appointment and faxed over letter, within 24 hours phone call from surgery giving an appointment for next day. Dr Fryer was always an early bird - I have had 8 am appointments with her! Good to know they are open late till 7ish one evening a week.

I could not do without a library - fortunately Dulwich Library is only a stone's throw away from the house. I generally get 5 or 6 books out at a time, rarely get DVDs or music. I too forget to return on time and get fined - I do not worry as fines go back into the coffers. I would rather have reduced library hours than no library. Friends were very surprised that Dulwich Library was open on a Sunday - where they live it's half day on saturday, closed on day during the week and only open to 7 pm a couple of days a week ( they live in London).

My husband got hit whilst riding his bike some years ago whilst on the S. Circlular coming up from Clapham. He was stationary at the lights when a car travelling in the same direction changed lanes quickly and knocked into his bike throwing him on the ground. Apart from cut legs and hands was ok but bike mangled. Driver gave name, address and phone number and agreed to pay for damage. Cost around ?300 - unfotunately the details given were false. Contacted our local beat bobby for advice as collision was not reported at the time to police.Police did a check on the property and woman there denied any knowledge of the man. Insurance company reluctantly paid up but the premium doubled the following year. Was advised that incident should have been reported to police even though noone was hurt.

I wonder how many of you turned up to one of the Dulwich Community Council Meetings which was addressed by Council leader Peter John, and took part in the exercise on where the cuts should fall post April. It was extremely difficult to decide and regardless of which party is in control at the town hall, there will always be losers. Southwark is generally a poor borough with high numbers of over 60s and under 18s - therefore by sheer numbers - education, health ans social care will always cost more At the only independent library in Upper Norwood, they saved a few ?s on having library users scan in and out their own books - thus cutting back on 2 members of staff. If libraries had a membership fee or some form of 'Friends of the X Library' whereas paying a subscription entitled you to a 'freebe' of sort i.e free attendance at a literacy lecture, or book signing - this would be a way of gaining a small income. Big libraries like Dulwich could attract some 'fee paying customers' and hold events such as those held in Dulwich Picture Gallery. Money raised could go towards book purchases. A few parking meters in strategic positions - ?1.00 for an hour especially near shops where the goods are likely to be heavy/bulky. i.e. near Dulwich DIY, or Plough Homecraft or Sainsbury's Local.(parking near these shops is a nightmare as on a bus route) I am sure others could come up with some cost cutting ideas and ways of increasing revenue.

Sometimes you feel like stealing out in the dead of night with a can of yellow paint and the appropriate width brush, just to paint a few yellow lines to stop the idiots who park illegally.

Several posts back someone suggested a clothes store - yes I would support that and would even suggest a non food M & S branch. The White Stuff and all the boutique type clothes stores are very expensive, do not cater for those of us who are on the large size and past 40. I like to buy my grandkids clothes, but not the prices quoted by ED stores. Hubby last year spent ?40 on a shirt at White Stuff - it washes up creased and is a bugger to iron, by the 3rd wash it looked cheap. A Farmers Market would be a good idea - they could hold a temporary one on the Dulwich Hospital Site once a week. Many older people moan to me that supermarkets do not cater for singles with small appetite or income. You try getting a small bone in pork chop for a pensioner who spends ?25 pw on food, or who only wants 3 eggs a week. There is nothing wrong with Iceland - you do not have to by the cheapest item on sale, also alot of their stuff is cheaper than Sainsbury's. Val's store was opened all the Christmas and New Year Holidays - ideal when we ran out of bread. The only time I have seen Sainsbury's at the Plough busy, was the weekend in Nov/Dec when we had the heavy snowfall and traffic could not get down LL. Badgers bakery is good - sometimes there are so many people there you need to wait outside. What would the bus crews do for their sandwiches, hot pies and soups if they closed. I rarely use Sainsbury's Local and tend to use Vals for veg and fruit and always their polish bread. My parents live in a Sussex Village which housed a large caravan site, shops had an early closing day and also closed at 5.30. The local restaurants closed at the same time except one which stayed open until 7 pm. All the shop keepers moaned about low profits, and yet the holiday camp site held about 2 thousand people at least half of them would shop in the village. My parents were surprised that restaurants in ED were opened late, that shops opened Sundays, and we had no early closing days. To me it made sense that if you were a coastal town with a large number of self catering holiday makers, it would make sense to open until around 7 - 8 pm and restaurants opened later at least in the holiday season. However, that last 2- 3 years have seen the one late restaurant opening now till 10 pm all year round, the 3 supermarkets ( Budgens, Co Op and the Sommerfields now turned Co Op)open 7 days a week - late night opening is 8 pm. The ordinary gift/clothing/butchers/bakers/general stores still closing at 5.30 regardless of season. The next nearest village with shops is 5 - 8 miles away. I think the independents do not want to open later as they will have to pay staff - Nisha and her husband and another relative work all hours of the day and evening to keep their business going. The other independents in LL are obviously not able or willing to pay staff to stay open until 8 pm at night. With the talk that local councils will be making larges numbers of staff redundant ( 1000, Lewisham, 2000 Lambeth and 500 Southwark) also Kings are privatising many of their services, local people will not have the income after March to splash out in LL so businesses will suffer anyway.

I certainly would not want an Waitrose but would welcome a Lidl. Beckenham has a Lidl, and I was recently in Oxfordshire in a very classy town near the Thames, and they too had a Lidl. I earn a good wage as a professional worker but with mortgage payments, council tax and all the rest of the bills, I cannot afford to shop in a Waitrose, or use the market stalls as I feel that most are over priced and appeal to those ED Residents who seem to have more money than sense. Having been a life long resident in ED I remember the original North Cross Road market of the 50s and 60s, with stalls several days of the week. This was the cheapest area to shop in generally. If we had a more 'East Street or Petticoat Lane' type market at least once or twice a week, this would cater for all ED residents. Before ED was gentrified in the 1970s/80s it had the highest number of older people living in substandard housing without bathrooms and indoor loos in England.

I spent my Saturday mornings at the cinema The Odeon in Grove Vale - premises remained there until the 70s when it became a temple for a guru.

I can do top half of Barry Road (Goodrich - LL and Etherow Street area) I can do a limited amount of snow clearance but would be happy for someone who may need help to have my phone number. Would ber happy to do shopping locally. I work full time ( as a social worker- so have already been CRB'd). I suggest that for security reasons that no volunteer goes inside the person's house, and all transactions take place at the front door. I am a member of Barry Area Residents' Assocaition and I will try and get some feedback from my members at our meeting tonight.

I am happy to help - my job is with people so I am already CRB checked. I do work full time but would be happy to cover my end of Barry Road. Basically I think if all volunteers could give a central person their location i.e. Landells road between Goodrich and Lordship Lane and if they are up for snow shovelling, emergency shopping, checking people are ok. That some form of central number can be circlulated for emergency contacts and this advertised in some way - either by local press, Age Concern ( rather AGE UK), Dulwich Helpline, posters in Libraries, churches, community centre etc. person needing help to ring central number, co ordinator check location, check data base of volunteers living nearby, and makes contact. Community Wardens are also asked to check up on vulnerable people. This sounds as though this type of scheme could get money from the Big Society Grants available.

Cheese, fish, pulses.

Post received today - one letter dated 1st december. Looking at various documents/advice on here and other places, Employers have a duty to protect staff from injury which also includes expecting them to undertake areas of their job in adverse weather conditions. For instance a roofing contractor could be sued if he expected his staff to climb onto a roof covered with snow and ice as there would be a high risk of injury to staff member. I was supposed to walk to a meeting last Thursday where the three roads and pavements I would need to have had to use were very icy and I had witnessed whilst travelling to the office, by car, several people fall over ( including the very icy pavement outside Kings A & E). Since I have a disability which also affects my balance I explained to my employers thatI was reluctant to go to the meeting due to the icy conditions which would put my safety at risk, they were happy for me to stay in the office and conduct information collecting by phone. Had they insisted that I attended the meeting and I had slipped up and broken my arm, they knew that they could be sued.

My 11 year old going on 12 grandaughter, loves having vouchers/cash to spend in her favourite shops. Her idea of a great day is being let loose in Primark in Bromley, purchasing books in Smith's, being able to go bowling or swimming in the local leisure centre with her friends. She is into 'goth fashion' and vampires, but only gets ?2 a week pocket money so the freedom to go where she wants and spend is a luxury for her. If your cousin is into bowling etc, perhaps you can pay for a leisure card for her.

It sounds as though your son is getting an adequate and nutritionally balanced diet. He seems to be taking after his Dad in physique. If he is not complaining about being hungry, I should not worry. Rather than going for cakes etc, will he have a small bowl of soup with his lunch time sandwich, or a jacket potato with beans/cheese/tuna instead?. My 6 year old grandson eats like a horse at times, he is tall and slim - loves his vegetables and fruit, would eaT tuna and jacket potatoes for every lunch if we let him, loves rice and noodles. Has cereal and toast most mornings, takes a packed lunch with sandwiches, fruit and yoghurt, has fruit and a slice of cake in his after school club, then a meal of either pasta/ rice/potatoes/ veg and whatever meat (mince/chicken/beef)