Pugwash

Just to add to previous post, I was a part of a research programme run by the Institute of Psychaitry some years ago, and our cohort group were carers/parents/siblings of people with severe mental health problems. We met weekly for so many weeks and had discussions with medical personnel, pharmacists, social workers and Community Psychiatric Nurses. The parents in the group found it very hard to discuss their 'child's illness' and saw it as a stain on their child rearing practices. At the end of the 12 weeks, we all had to feed back what we had gained from the group, I said that I felt a fraud in many ways as my husband had always been open about his illness and I had a choice whether to accept him and the black dog or reject them both. I had made the decision to accept him, but they (the parents) had no choice when their child was involved. Both my husband and I have always been open about his illness, my employer knows my situation and I work flexi hours. It helps that I am in a health and social care job, and deal with many people with complex health/mental health needs. Sometimes as a carer, I cannot stand my husband, and think how much easier life would be without the worry and stress, but I have to remember that it is the illness that I cannot stand, not the man.

My husband has bi polar and was diagnosed 40 plus years ago. Fortunately has never been sectioned and rarely goes off his medication. However, he did lose his job after having several periods of depression over the past 5 years and was medically retired at age 58. Applied for ESA but got turned down as his occupational pension was ?2 higher than the amount allowed to earn.Also he was assessed as being fit to work full time! he is very involved in the BiPolar Support Groups - the nearest to ED meets in Beckenham. According to the 'Pendulum' the journal of Bipolar UK - there is a Northern Ireland support group - more details from www.bipolaruk.org.uk or ring 01270 230260. If your brother is in Eire - I am sure the BiPolar UK folk can give you and alternative organisation in that region. When I was working at the Maudsley - we frequently had medics from Ireland who trained at the Institute of Psychiatry and went home to head up CMHT. Dr. Nick Stafford is one of the leading lights in the Bi Polar movement, if you want more reading material It may ne necessary for your brother to seriously consider whether his daughter presents a risk to herself or others i.e. risk of suicide, putting herself into dangerous situations. She may need a Mental capacity assessment to determine whether she has the capacity to understand her medical condition and to refuse treatment. The last resort is being sectioned - not something that can be done lightly but in some cases the only means of making someone safe. SANE is another organisation that can offer advice and support as well as MIND. My husband over the past 10 years has had several sessions of CBT and although they helped initially for a short time, he was not able to sustain his motivation and quickly went back into deep depressions. What is interesting from this thread, is the number of ED residents who have Bi polar. My in laws both had mental health problems - Mother in law was bi polar and so was her uncle, father in law was a depressive. My husband's daughter by his first marriage is bi polar but refuses to seek medical help.

have you contacted the CASSEL Centre in Forest Hill - this is a counselling and social work centre and has many years experience with counselling/psychotherapy/social work students. Number is in phone book. Ask to speak to Christine. she is the executive manager.

Check what was in the Discharge letter which she should have got a copy of when she left the ward. GP should also have same copy but get a photocopy of your mother's to give to surgery

The next Give and Take Day will be held at the East Dulwich Community Centre on Sat. 16th February - look out for the adverts with times etc.

Lots of people off with Norovirus and another flu type bug, I heard that at least half of the workforce in our community based office were ill last week.

Pot hole by cycle lane at lights outside the Plough Pub - quite a big one.

Grandson number 1 was not communicating at 2 years of age and this was picked up by Health visitor although his mother did not think anything wrong, I had suspected something when he was around one, but he appeared to hear things ( I did very basic things like drop something behind him to see his reaction, called his name, rang bells etc). Hubby thought I was imagining things when I stated that grandson did not babble, hubby himself did not talk until he was 2 and then spoke both English and Polish. Grandson was diagnosed with language delay and since there was a year's wait for a Speech and lanaguage Therapist, was enrolled part time in a special needs nursery where he picked up some speech. Later diagnosed with mild learning disabilities and speech delay and was given extra help during most of his schooling. His younger brother, now 3, also rarely speaks and has been diagnosed with language delay ( the middle 2 children had no problems). What has been noticeable that his mother rarely converses with him, she talks around him and at him but not with him.

I also deliver leaflets for the local Resident's Association and ignore the Junk Mail signs as these leaflets give informative information about local events/planning applications/social events/workshops. My recycling blue bag is right by the door, any estates agents/virgin media/pizza leaflets go straight in the bag

Andrew Brock

I was at home last week during the day and the bell went - I opened the door and the chap there looked a bit surprised and asked me if he could wash my car. I said no and he moved on. Did not go to my neighbours - I wondred whether he was sussing the joint. Youngish (20s) olive skinned fellow in jogging pants looked either Eastern Euopean or light skinned asian

My Mum when she was diagnosed as having renal failure and needed 3 times weekly dialysis, to a certian extent gave up and nothing we did seem to please her. We were all aware how frail she became physically and how tired she was, but she was mentally alert most of the time but hated to be with others outside her home environment. She complained of being lonely, we visited every week at weekends and took her shopping and had tea with her. Grandchildren and great Grandchildren, phoned weekly and visited every 2 - 3 weeks. Mum was included in all family events - birthdays, meals out, festive seasons etc yet nothing satisfied her. She disliked meeting people her own age as she thought them either boring or 'too noisy' Some Day Centres are open at Weekends - Fred Francis in LL takes people with dementia but your Mum would need a Needs Assessment from a Social Worker to check whether she meets the eligibility criteria for attendance. However, saying that, most day centres are used to prevent a breakdown in caring ( does your father care for your Mum full time?) The East Dulwich Community Centre is used most weekends (Saturdays - dance classes followed by a Saturday school) but is genrally available for hire from around 5.30 - 10 pm. Sundays at the centre are pretty full, but there is generally a 2 - 3 hour slot late afternoon. If there is sufficient need for carers and their elderly relatives to meet socially, maybe once a month or so, I am sure that the Centre Management Committee or the Barry Area Resident's Association maybe able to lay something on. I work professionally with mainly elderly people and their carers, so am aware of the isolation/anxiety/need for support. If enough people contact me either via a PM or through the Forum, I am happy to see if something can be arranged for the New Year. The only thing the Centre would not be able to do is organise transport. Centre is fully wheelchair accessible, has a hearing loop system and disabled loos.

fantastic photos

A shop where you could purchase toasters, microwaves, computer accessories, hoovers etc instead of having to go to large outlets of sainsburys/homebase. Clothes shop selling reasonable price clothing for those of us who are size 18 plus,

With my younngest I went back to work when she was 4 months old having secured a workplace nursery place, I went back to the same organisation but to a Human Resource Manager post at the same grade as my previious education post. Later got promotion and travelled to Bow each Day. When my daughter was 5 years old, I took redundancy and went to Uni for 3 years, then did a postgraduate professional diploma and qualified as a social worker in 1995

Having been a life time East Dulwich Resident I have mixed views. In the late 70s and early 80's research by the then GLC found that Alleyn Ward (pre runner to ED Ward) had a high number of people over 65 living in sub standard housing without indoor bathrooms and toilets, Thhe GLC put in ?millions to create the Area Improvement and Modernization Programme (AIM) The first energy proficient houses were developed in Whately Road ( they became HQ to AIM) and local residents representing every street in the ward and the different tenures (i.e. private rented, council, HA, owners)met every couple of months to plan how they wanted ED to look. Every single house was surveyed and grants given for work - guttering, roofing, central heating, bathrooms, pointing etc and for around 3 years ED was being spruced up. What was even more significant was that a sense of community was emerging as neighbours, who had never spoken, talked about the work being done to their homes, different ages communicates and mixed. ED always had a high 'immigrant' population - people from the Caribbean, Asia, Turkey and Greece - houses having been fairly cheap to buy (Landells Road sold for ?10,500 and you could buy a 4 bed house in Barry Road for under ?17,000) but many found themselves isolated from the indiginous population. A vibrant multi cultural and multi aged community began to emerge and 3 Residents Associations were formed - the Pellatt Area (PARA) North Cross Area (NARA) and Barry Area (BARA) with high numbers of residents in each association each having a senior citizens group. The Alleyn Community Centre ( now ED Community Centre) was obtained from Southwark Council and opening 7 days a week for community events and activities. Unfortunately, the community spirit to some extent has now been lost, 2 residents association ceased to exsist as people prefered to remain at home and just see their friends or watch TV and were not interested in forming committees and doing voluntary work. Only the BARA remains - and that struggles at times to reinvent the community spirit. From a poor shopping area - LL has become, to a certain extent, 'overpriced' (?5 for a loaf of bread, ?4.50 for a pot of tea) a reflection to some extent of it's residents. With the debate over Iceland/M & S/Waitrose it is clear that many prefer the higher price market ( agree there are some quality goods at reasonable prices). The good has been the number of restaurants suiting all tastes and pockets - Indian Mischief, Blue Brick Cafe, Swardish, Emily's fish shop and the fact early closing days are virtually non existent. This may reflect current economic state but as a worker, I do appreciate to be able to shop on Sundays. Statutory services such as GP surgeries, schools etc have failed to keep up with the population growth. As I approach retirement, I would like to downsize but still keep my ED roots, but the house prices are so high that I would only gain around ?40.000 by selling my current home and purchasing one half the size. We have a good GP and would want to keep within The Gardens catchment area as both hubby and I have disabilities. I would hazard to guess that in 10 years time ED will begin to be less prosperous as families move out to more affordable areas with a variety of schooling opportunities - just as the Clapham crowd moved over to ED

I agree with James that some council officers make bad decisions and do not check their facts. Many years ago, the Dulwich Medical Centre wanted to expand to a neighbouring community facility and made enquiries to Southwark Council. Officers there informed DMC that the premises were used for a few hours in the morning by around 20 children, and since it was council owned premises, they felt that DMC had a good chance of being able to purchase the site.A petition was drawn up with over 2 ( or was it 3) thousand names on it from local people who wanted to retain that facility. What the council officer did not check was that this was a vibrant community centre used by over 500 people a week from 9 am - late night 6/7 days a week. The then leader of the council was asked questions in the Town Hall and it transpired that the council officer was more moved by the possible sale of a valuable piece of land,than to checking out facts. They had visited the centre whilst the morning playgroup was in session and decided that a play group was an insignificant user of the premises and could easily be disbanded or find alternative premises.

When we first moved to Barry Road, decades ago - our kitchen was very small and we had one work surface which was about 2 foot wide and 3 foot long. A turkey and it's dish took over all the space. I decided rather than to have pans all over the floor that I would cook the turkey well in advance, cool it and slice up the white and brown meat. I would calculate how many people would be coming to us over Xmas and portion out x number of slices and wrap up in foil and freezer bags and number the slices. That way we had turkey soup before Xmas and got rid of the carcas, and I took out the day before, the required package from the freezer. The turkey was well smothered in gravy and allowed to heat through well before serving. Have done this for over 30 years and works well every time. Also you do not get turkey every meal for around 4 days. I have also done the same with pork, beef and bacon. Last year, the cost of a decent turkey was so expensive that I decided to purchase a few packs of Sainsbury's individually wrapped chilled turkey breasts and froze them, They were cooked and sliced up on the day and everyone was happy. I do most of the veg prep on Christmas Eve. People are usually too full to worry about pudding. For the Christmas Day Tea/Supper - I just put out cold meats, pickles, small amount of salad and cheese, a trifle, few mince pies and cream, maybe a cake of sorts and let everyone help themselves - buffet style. We have a family of 13 but this year hubby and I are having Christmas Day on our own as daughters will be else where, our Christmas Day will be Boxing Day sp will have a little longer to prepare. I also have a dinner party for friends on New Year's Day which is more stressful in many ways as I cook several dishes to suit Jewish/vegetarian/Polish/English palates.

Try talking to people in CP Rd who complained for many years at the speed cars were travelling over the humps in their road. It was estimated at between 40 - 50 mph starting from the LL end

Many years ago I heard shouting outside at night and could see a couple in a car outside the house having a row, The man started hitting the woman who tried to get out of the car but was pulled back. I called the police and explained what I had seen and heard (it was summer and the windows open) said it could be a domestic. Police arrived in car very quickly and spoke to couple and took details - was with them quite a while. The next day the Police phoned me and thanked me for my call as I may have prevented an incident. They were following up with the woman that day.

If it is the old Housing Office, there is space outside which was originally used for Housing staff's cars - albeit only a few if parked well

They do not hate motorists out right but there are drivers who go down roads such as Crystal Palace Road in excess of 40 miles an hour over the humps. I have been overtaken near a Barry Road junction when I am doing around 25 mph by drivers who ignore everyone else on the road, and decide the 40/50 mph is what they need to do overtake 2 cars and a bus, narrowly missing an on coming bus.

Daughter No 1 left home for uni in Preston and stayed up there after degree as working, got a council flat as local council could not find any tenants. Within a year moved back to London complete with partner and 2 cats as fed up having their door and car trashed and torched by local mobs. Crime rate in area was very high and police had given up with the local teenagers. Stayed with us and paid towards bills for a few months then got flat themselves as went with partner's job. Split up with partner and came back home with toddler for few months, made up with partner some months later and moved to Orpington where still living. She was about 24 when came back to London. Daughter No 2 Brighton Uni, came home during holidays for first year and has lived away from home since - she is now 26. Stepdaughter was kicked out by her mother at 16 whilst still at school, could not live with us as school in Essex and has never lived at home since that time. Hubby left home at 18, went back for a few months, went into supported lodgings following several months in hospital. When first marriage broke up, moved back to parents but lived in seperate flat in their house for 2 years, themn moved in with me. I was a residential child care worker and lived with the kids 6 days a week so only home for a couple of days. Moved into own flat (in Ondine Rd) when 21, got mortgage at 25 and moved into own house.

Something was going on in Norcroft Gardens

Kings use the stroke ward at Lewisham as Friends Stroke UNit take people from A & E with strokes - lewisham can hold the people with strokes who have long rehab periods ( usually 4 plus weeks)if FSU is full