RhubarbGarden

KateW you are absolutely right - I have only praise for Gina Ford it has been a lifesaver for me. But there are a lot of bullies around who attack anyone who dares to suggest it and that is why I mentioned it with caution.

We got in a night nanny when our son was about 5 weeks old because I was starting to unravel and the sleep deprivation and hours and hours of crying (he has colic) every evening had me teetering on the verge of PND. She was worth her weight in gold; she came once a week for three weeks and just knowing I would get a good night's sleep in x number of days was enough to get me through. She was here 9pm till 7am; did his bottle feed at 10pm, brought him to me for a breast feed at 3am and 7am. She did all the burping and settling and as a result I wasn't constantly giving him feeds every time he woke up just to get him back to sleep as quickly as possible - she had the patience, stamina and experience to get him back to sleep without feeds when he didn't actually need them. I'm convinced that he learnt from this that he didn't actually need to feed every hour or so, because things did start to improve. Or maybe he just got older. After the third week we decided we didn't need her any more as although he was still waking up around 3am and 5am for a feed, he was settling straight away afterwards without any crying, and I could handle that. Tonight, for the first time, he's gone to sleep without a murmur at 7pm. He's ten weeks. Last night he made it through to 4.30am before waking. Finally I can see light at the end of the tunnel. What else has helped? Colief for his colic made him cry less and settle more easily. Adopting a Gina Ford routine (I know, I know, deeply unfashionable but it works) helped him stop getting too overtired to sleep at 7pm. I also attended a sleep seminar organised through this forum and got some new tricks to try and a mental boost from that. It does get better. It's just so grindingly hard when you are in the thick of it.

Can anyone recommend a local night nanny? I am being driven to the point of exhaustion/desperation by my four week old who I am struggling to settle after night feeds. I also have a two year old so I need some energy during the day and I can't sleep when the baby sleeps this time around, and it's breaking me. Thanks.

Saffron, perhaps you have an old out-dated copy of GF. The quotations you describe do not feature in the up-to-date 2006 version. Nowhere does she state that demand feeding causes colic, on p44 or anywhere else - that would be a bizarre claim quite frankly. The only references to colic are as already described by Saila. GF also offers ways to adapt the routine, so is not inflexible and does not suggest that 7/7 is the only 'acceptable' schedule for good sleep. As Saila says, the language is quite different from how you suggest. I'm sorry if you feel this is unnecessary re-hashing of moot points, but I don't think it is helpful to anyone to spread misinformation about routine feeds/naps.

'GF also contradicts her own advice in her own CLB book (and yes, I HAVE read it), by saying that coming off the schedule causes sleep and digestive problems' Can you tell me where it states this? Because I read that book cover to cover, referred to it daily and cross referenced constantly and I never saw that.

"A schedule mum would not feed her child between scheduled feeds, by definition" Actually, in the early days of implementing the GF routine, if the baby asks to be fed between scheduled feeds, then the baby is fed. GF states that a hungry baby should never be denied a feed. What happens once the routine is established is that the baby doesn't demand feeds because its needs are met before it gets hungry, so it doesn't have to cry for food.

We don't have stairgates. Instead I have a gated room divider thing across our open plan kitchen/living space so my 19 month old has free range within that space but access to the rest of the house is only when accompanied, so she doesn't go up or down the stairs without one of us holding her hand. I wouldn't trust her to do it by herself because although she knows how to do it safely, she is easily distracted or excited and tries to go too fast. If she works out how to open doors, we may be forced to get stair gates though!

A little further afield but The Florence in Herne Hill and The Crooked Well in Camberwell are both good.

Gymboree is expensive but worth it. My 19 month old loves it.

Ghent is beautiful with plenty of child friendly eateries. Hotels good value too. And it's only an hour's drive from Calais which is great if you are going by ferry.

I love Northumberland for family holidays. Loads to do, beautiful beaches, great scenery.

Gymboree is great. Expensive, but lovely and clean. I struggle with the ones that smell of wee (pregnancy nose here).

Diddi dance is good; nicely chaotic, and Gymboree is great because it's all about running around and exploring. It is rather expensive but I think it's worth it especially for very active toddlers who don't like sitting still.

No diet or exercise suggestions sorry (I'm rubbish at both) but I DID find that when I stopped breastfeeding the last of my babyweight naturally came off. Not suggesting you stop - just offering some encouragement that you may find this happens too when the time is right!

In the light of recent discussion about the loss of toddler friendly areas in cafes in ED, I thought I would share a tip about a new cafe/deli I discovered on Denmark Hill today. Ok not really East Dulwich, but I know many Camberwellians also read this forum. It's called De Bonne Intention, no.55 Denmark Hill (opposite Nandos), and sells the usual upmarket pasta packets, fancy teabags etc at the front of the shop and has a few tables at the back. It isn't large but the lady who owns it is very keen to attract mums and babies and toddlers; she has a toddler herself so understandS what it's like. They are planning to start doing beauty treatments from Feb when they've finished renovating a downstairs room, and there will be space to park babies there while you are getting a treatment. Best of all (from my own point of view!) is there is also a back room like there was at the Gardens Cafe, which is currently being painted and will imminently have tables in, and the owner is collecting a basket of toys so toddlers can run around in there. I think this will be a useful addition to the local area!

I recommend Prato di Sotto in Umbria, if you decide Italy is the winner. Beautiful spot.

I second the recommendation for the My Breast Friend pillow. Very firm, fastens round your back to keep it in place and has a wonderfully comfortable back support built in. I loved mine.

It's such a shame; this was the best place around to take toddlers to. I don't know if there has been a change in ownership or something, but my friends and I (we used to meet there with a pile a kids regularly) had felt increasing hostility towards us over the last couple of months, and so this sudden loss of the back room hasn't really come as a huge shock. They have clearly had a change of heart over welcoming mums and children. Great shame, and in the current economic climate, I personally think rather rash but I'm no expert in cafe management!

We went to a Diddi Dance trial class this morning and it was great. It's at the Constitutional Hall.

We do teeth after milk before bed. At first it did upset the sleepy flow slightly, but it very quickly became routine. I think the key is to not force it on them; if they are not interested/throw the toothbrush just leave it for that night and try again tomorrow. It helps if you do yours at the same time, they love to feel they are doing something grown up. We phased in morning teeth brushing once evening had become habit. Don't let it become a battle, it's not worth it and they will learn. My 18 month old loves doing hers now (well, usually).

Yes very disappointing about the back room at The Gardens. But they have been getting increasing hostile towards mums and toddlers lately so I'm not really surprised.

Hello! I'd like to join in if I may, bringing up the rear with a baby due on 28th May. I already have a little girl who will be nearly two when this new one arrives. I don't know what it is yet, will find out in a couple of weeks. Laura Lochie ? Rosie ? 29th Feb (2nd - girl) kat76 - Kat ? 29th Feb (3rd) pinkhalf - last week of Feb (1st) rebeccaben ? Rebecca - first week of March (2nd-boy) cg ? Caroline - very early March (2nd) kittysailing ? 4th March Jenifire ? Jenny - 6th March (1st - Boy) jj55 ? Jo ? 12th March (1st - surprise) midivydale - Caroline - 12th March (1st) Widdy - Catherine - 12th March (1st) Countjc ? Jenny ? 12th March (2nd - boy) Nix13 - 12th March (1st) pommie - 14th March (2nd) Yellow99 ? Sophie - 17th March (1st) SarahCatherine - Sarah - 20th March (1st) jimnem - Emma ? 22nd March (1st) AWPP - Sinead - 23rd March (1st) Jones - Sally - 23rd March (1st) parmaviolet end of March (2nd) kassandra - early April (2nd) SJK ? Sophie - 6th April (1st) jessrm - Jess - 6th April (1st) MelissaVF - Mel - 8th April (3rd) Missjojo - Jo - 12th April (1st) MrsC - Nikki - 14th April (2nd) lucyclarke2001 - Lucy - 21st April June80 - 22nd April (2nd) spanners45- Maria - 20 April (2) Be.jones - Bonnie - 26th April (1st) Janegoodland (Jane) - 27 April (2nd, boy) nickyp - Nicky - due May (2nd) emmylondon - Emmy - 7th May (twins) VanessaPMR - Vanessa - 9th May (2nd) AlexLove - Sasha - 9 May (2nd) Elisabethdw- Elisabeth- 10th May (1st) Lingonberry - 26th May (1st- girl) Marlowe - Rhian - March 16th (1st) Hollie-pop24 - April 3rd (1st)(boy) Rhubarbgarden - Laura - May 28th (2nd)