nunheadmum

With No1, she was very choosy about her potty at the start. We had a baby bjorn one and a very basic one too that she just didn't seem to get on with at all - she just couldn't seem to work out how to sit down on them. (She's never been good with physical stuff.) I was almost thinking we'd have to wait although I knew she was ready. In the end we went up to Mothercare and let her try a few. She picked out one, put it on the floor and sat down on it like a pro - we bought 2 and never looked back. If you've got the chance, maybe go to Mothercare or the like and see how your LO takes to them - he may have a preference. Or if you have friends whose kids are training already, maybe he could try some that way.

I've had the same problem with my 2 yr old - she plays with all her big sis's stuff. I think we just tried to fill some holes in what we had. Some things were: Magnetic sketcher and wipe clean books - good for 'writing' along with big sis Nice kitchen bits - we bought some lovely wooden cakes and cake stand and some general extras to the basics we already had from big sis. Trampoline - I think we got this when she was 1 and big sis was 3 - went down great with both Babies and baby bits of her own - big sis has loads but thought it better she had some that were 'hers'....good for when they argue and nice for her to have her own stuff at times. Little keyboard and generally any instruments - both of my two can't seem to get enough of musical stuff (the Ivydale/Margaret effect!) I've found with no2 that I totally ignore when all the toys that say 3+. No2 thinks she is 4 already like big sis and ignores most of the younger toys. But I do feel I'm being a little unfair to her as she doesn't seem to get any of the 'big' things that no1 got (e.g. wheelie bug, trike etc).

I'm with Pickle on this - 2+years on from no 2 and hubby still winds me up even though I know he's trying his best and he does do loads, just takes 3 times as long as I would! I think it's just that he focuses on what he's doing whereas I'm worrying about how that one thing links into 5 other issues. I've certainly been far worse since the kids came - stuff that I could ignore before just does make a difference now.

Another mum who is in the same situation (Jan start) said she'd got a form to fill in for her daughter. Keep meaning to do the same too.

Sorry to mention the C-word so soon but started thinking that it'd be nice to take the kids - or at least the eldest - to some theatre or the like over Christmas. She's started ballet classes so was thinking something like the Nutcracker but not sure if that'll still be stretching her a bit at 4.75yrs - and probably would be too much if 2.5yr old went too. I saw The Snowman was on too - which sounds perhaps better in terms of length and age. Then I saw the cost of tickets!!! Has anyone taken such young ones to these kinds of shows? My eldest went to Mrs Wobble last year with nursery and coped so I think she has some staying power (no comment meant on the show, just sitting in a seat for x time). But I'd probably prefer something more classic than panto. Or at this age do I have to totally forego my preferences and go with what the kids need? With ticket prices so high, I want to make the right decision. Or can anyone recommend good sites for theatre discount codes etc?

Yes, long sleeved t-shirt really. I'll look out some of the options mentioned. Like the idea of the thermal ones for colder days in winter. Although kids may not be quite as much a wimp as me, when it comes to the cold.

Thanks - couldn't see long sleeved on Qtag but H&M seem just right. Trying to eek some more wear out the summer clothes with a bit of layering. I tend to get stuck with Next and M&S as they're closest to work - the only time I get to shop these days - and while their stuff is nice, they never seem to do plain tops for kids. Thanks!

Can anyone recommend where I can get simple long sleeved plain coloured tops for kids - 2yrs and 4/5yrs. I'm sure I'm being silly but I never seem to be able to find any.

I suspect that nursery just didn't want to have to handle the topic (and resultant issues from other parents maybe) so tried to keep us off it. I'm glad to hear that my 'tell them it as it is' approach isn't so wild after all. I've found that if I say things, generally the response is 'ok' and I sort of think that explaining things with that kind of response may be easier in the long run than trying a fuller discussion later when they'll ask lots more questions and understand more and it'll all feel more uncomfortable. At the moment discussing death, tampons, birds and bees seems on par with what happened at the swing park for them! Although I'm sure I won't avoid later conversations but at least the ground concepts are set. And I'm crap at coming up with fluffier explanations.

I'm shocked - Mog dies!!!!!! Not sure I can deal with that yet!!! Seriously though, thanks for all the comments. They sort of back my gut feeling on this - if she's asking questions, it's better to find some way of answering them, rather than swerving them. I was brought up Catholic and kids are marginally so - I thought it would be useful as a means to explain lots of basic questions (life, death, morals, right and wrong etc) when they're young, even if I'm not into the institution. Maybe it's time to start taking her a little more. I will look at the books. I think this may be a good way to handle it as she loves her stories and realy processes them, asking lots of questions. And while I do love the capacity of young kids to embrace fantasies without question (we already have the tooth fairy checking on her teeth brushing), I do feel that when it comes to hard topics, sometimes the honest answer is the easiest in the long run. (Heck, she's already asked what what tampons are for....how the hell do you explain that one, in a fluffy pink way???!!!)

About a month or so ago the subject of death came up with my 4 year old - we were talking about her grandad who died when she was too young to remember. We didn't make a big thing of it, we just said 'That's Popsy, who died' and moved the conversation on. Then she asked, 'Will I die?' and I said 'Oh we don't die till we're very, very old.' (Sorry, hadn't anticpated it and I'm crap at being creative on the spot!) We asked at her nursery, how we should handle it if the topic came back up again. They said, avoid the subject at all costs at this age.....so we quite happily didn't bring it back up. But she keeps bringing it back up. Of course, the fact that she's getting into all the princess stories doesn't help - Sleeping Beauty, Snow White etc....it's hard to find a good fairy story that someone doesn't die in! My husband has been changing the words to try and avoid the subject. But once she knows a story, she gets really picky if you use the wrong words so that won't work unless we work out in advance an alternate way of saying things and both use the same words every time....which just won't work in practice. Just wondering if anyone else has had this at this age and how you handled it? I don't like not answering questions if they're asked although I don't mind a bit of softening of the edges. But at the same time, my LO can seem a little sensitive and I don't want to get her worrying.

Thanks Molly. Just wondering how the choice of colours will go - unless it's pink, my LO's favourite colour seems to change with the wind at times. So do I buy several of different colours and hope she doesn't just go for one or make her pick a colour and stick with it. Mmmmmm....a couple more months to mull over that one!

Is the uniform compulsory for Ivydale - I think I heard it wasn't? If not, what's the balance between those wearing / not wearing it? Personally I think a uniform makes life much easier but I wonder how it works if it isn't compulsory. How are things going with the new head teacher too? Early days I guess but would be interested to hear.

How to break the cycle......they grow up a bit. Sorry, probably not what you want to hear but I think so much of these things are to do with development. Perhaps if I was stronger willed I'd leave them to cry more quickly and they'd get over them quicker. But I think unless you are strong enough to do that very quickly after each mini crisis (teething, ill, no lunchtime nap etc) and not allow some leeway incase they're not quite 100% etc, then it does seem like a constant cycle of 2 steps forwards, one step back. Gradually though they do get bigger and more able to cope with things and leaving them to cry does seem easier - you can see that a 2 year old is being cheeky whereas an 8 month old just looks so dependent on you. It doesn't help the effects, but if you can accept that it's your decision not to take the absolute hardest line and that it may mean more broken nights but it's how you're happy dealing with your baby, it may make it feel less stressful. And provided you do draw the line somewhere and deal with things when you see it's just habit and not need, things will get better as your LO gets older. We had all the same issues with my first (and we're having them again with my second) and I know we let her twist us round her finger at times but now since about 3, she sleeps great. Just waiting for no 2 to get to that stage too so we can get a decent night's sleep more than 1 night at a time!

Freedom Academy have classes at Goodrich on a Saturday which my daughter does and seems to like - she wants to go back. It seems like quite a small set-up. www.freedomacademy.co.uk And I think there's Don Rae or something like that at Ivydale, possibly a Saturday too.

Would be great if others tried to start up something similar as the Ivydale one can get really busy which detracts at times from the experience. I think I was around at some of the earlier sessions - before the little hall had it's makeover to a sure-start centre- and I can vouch for the fact that it was great even then, in some ways nicer as it was less busy, more relaxed and more personal.

Probably not what you want to hear as no magic solution but I think the main thing is not to stress yourself - it's a reaction and probably what your little one likes to see. Give him food - if he's hungry, he'll eat. If he doesn't eat it, take it away and let him move onto something else. Offer good snacks maybe if that tempts him - perhaps he just doesn't like being in the high chair. But, unless there is a real problem like intolerance, I think babies eat what they need - we sometimes misjudge what they need because the books say they should do X or Y. If you stress, your LO will pick up on this and either stress himself about food or like the reaction and continue with the behaviour that gets that reaction. I think there are very few babies around our area who suffer malnutrition despite their best attempts to wind us up over food. It's amazing sometimes how little they actually need to survive. It may mean a few bad nights while he gets the message (that was always my worry over food!) but he'll soon work it out.

I found Beckenham Spa pool quite quiet when we went - likewise my 2yr old doesn't like noise and she was ok. I think we managed to avoid the full-on-kids periods - which may be harder if you 5yr old is in school and a bit restricted in times. Perhaps earlier mornings would work. (I'm thinking 9am, not 7!)

A school with low results isn't necessarily a bad school. A bad school is one where a negative influence - be it disruptive pupils, non-english speakers placing an exceptional stress on resources, a poor teaching staff, etc - means that children who want to achieve (in whichever field be that academic, vocational, sport, music etc) find that they can't make the progress they should, due to that negative influence. Can you blame parents doing what they can to try and ensure that their kids have the opportunity to develop whatever skills they have in a supportive environment? I'd love to think I wouldn't go down that route and would support my local school. But having taken that option at primary, I'm not so sure my convictions would be so strong come secondary.

Belle - having just had bedtime battles with my 26mth old, who I was much tougher with than my first where we went through months of various contortions between about 1 and 2yrs, I really feel for you. It's horrible when peace and me time is so close and you know they need to sleep but they just won't switch off. The only thing I can think of suggesting is day-time sleep - maybe he needs more (or less)? I find that when my youngest has a shorter day-time sleep and/or a full-on afternoon, she is over-active at bedtime and just can't switch off. Nursery days are the worst and it builds over 3 days and takes us 4 days to get her back to 'normal'. A couple of times when we've had time to devote to it, we've had a week or so of getting her good daytime sleeps and it does seem to help - but you can't always do that all the time. If going into him doesn't help I don't know if there's much you can do other than let him get on with it and find his own way through it. Would some kind of music or story tape work, perhaps? (You may need to introduce it during the day and get him to like it to be able to sell it to him at bedtime.) Ultimately it's better in the long term if they sort it out themselves but something like this may help you as much as him. Good luck - I hope he starts to work it our soon!

Just because he takes it doesn't mean he needs it. He may just like having a tummy full of warm milk to ease him back to sleep. Even if he is hungry, he needs to learn to eat enough during the day so he isn't hungry at night - unless you're happy to keep feeding him. I'd go with the water instead or even watering down the milk gradually if you feel cold turkey is unfair. With my two, they soon learned it wasn't worth stirring themselves for.

Aarrgghh....just had youngest up 3 times + several shouts last night after the stressful bedtime. Fingers crossed it improves. Yes Molly, good idea re the night light options. I read about a few simpler options but we're attached to bunny after last successes. Having eldest in our room is an idea but worry that she's still get disturbed as we're through the wall from kids' bedroom. And wary that if we're all in next door room, no2 will have added incentive to get up to join us. Think I may just need to have a long talk to no1 and use the back room. But first priority is the bedtime bit - I suspect if she goes down calmer at night, she'll sleep better and there's more chance of her staying asleep longer in the morning. Maybe not 7am but past 5am would be good! (It was 6.20 today so there's some benefit to a broken night!!) Loft conversion would be good - 2 neighbours have done theirs recently, one with full ceiling lowering. I'm waiting to see the finished product before we decide if it's worth it. Having grown up in a 2up/2down, I appreciate I'm being rather spoiled complaining about the space in a Nunhead house!

Using this junction regularly from the Nunhead side (Colyton Road), I find the junction much safer and easier to use with the traffic lights. I can appreciate all the arguments against retaining the lights, particularly that drivers are using the connecting roads to avoid the lights. But I still prefer having the security of lights when using that junction rather than trying to edge out into what can at times be very busy traffic and not always the most patient or polite of drivers. I know, I'm a wimp when driving! I think that trying to assess that stretch of road at the moment will be very difficult, given the number of temporary roadworks etc that keep coming up. The pre-lights period I suspect had a lot less than there has been of late.

Yes, I love the sleep fairy idea too - I can see that being used. I'd love to be able to separate the kids but our spare room is now hubby's office too so unsuitable for youngest and I think the eldest would really struggle if we move her out of her bedroom next to us (which has always been her room) and to the spare back bedroom. It'd work if we could really make it her room but with regular visitors and hubby's stuff, that's not so practical. But if things continue as they are, I may need to bite the bullet and say tough, we need to get the youngest sorted. Got bunny clock installed now and I thought it was going to work for bedtime. But after a few 5-10min lies before getting up, she was lying down less and looking cheekier each time she got up. So I shut the stairgate and left her to it. Didn't leave her too long (she was doing that 'I'm about to be sick' cough!) but after 2 more putting her back, she seems to have gone off. I'm hoping that she's got the message. And that we don't pay with numerous wakings in the night. Time will tell. Thanks all for your thoughts though. Just knowing that it isn't just my kid (obviously due to my crap parenting skills) is a help!

We've got a Groclock for our eldest but it doesn't seem to work with the youngest - she loves switching it on but ignores it in the morning. I'm hoping that the Bunny clock works better as it's easier to relate to maybe. (We tried the one with ears too but that was too noisy when she did sleep later and woke her.) I think that sharing a room is part of the trouble in the morning - we jump too quick to stop her waking the eldest. If she'd just sleep past 6 I'd be happier to leave her but 5 is too early.