*Bob*

Perhaps for the reds, Annette, yes. But I think you'd need the Spalted Beech for anything white, surely?

Anyway, forget about wine glass snobbery.. what about tumbler snobbery? If you're going to serve tumblers you should be serving properly chilled small measures in 22cl Duralex glasses, preferably Picardie (but Provence would be acceptable), rather than a glass of tepid white, served in an oversized style-free tumbler - as was dished-up on our last visit.

That's not quite a full picture of the H&A wine glass policy though: "Though to be fair, you only get a tumbler if you ask for one of the wines offered by the glass. Once you move off these, and you go up a price notch, you get proper stemware" So the policy is cheap wine = cheap glass, which seems most reasonable. Is this the same at The Actress, or is it tumblers all round?

This is just phase one of current plans at The Actress to recreate the full Parisian experience. Phase two will see the removal of all toilet furniture, to be replaced by the 'hole in the floor surrounded by a lake of piss' system.

I've got one for you first, Alan: Jack has sixteen beans and Jill has twelve. Jack plants half his beans and a quarter of them germinate and grow into full plants. Each plant bears half a dozen beans. If Jack gives half his crop to Jill, what colour socks is Jill wearing?

B and L. Making "Blease", "Bleat", "Blowl", "Blafter", "Blill" and "Blowing". Next!

Well MrB, that's a current 'hot topic'. We ended-up buy buying a crappy netbook instead, which - up the upside, works and requires no care, attention or lovin'. And, as it happens, having a PC is useful from time to time, so it's not a dead loss purchase. However, we currently have an iPad on loan as we were thinking about getting one - and are staring down the barrel of the "desire versus need" conundrum as we speak. I'm rubbing it all over my crotch and moaning gently as we speak.

I'd just like to reiterate that 'Steve' was my favourite band first. But that doesn't mean I'll be standing in the street holding-up and iPad with a candle flickering on it - like a nutter.

Most of the above is about the products (or in my case, the owners of the products) - not the man - and the fact is that Apple products have always been divisive, attracting quantities of vociferous love and loathe along the way. At the 'loathe' end of the spectrum, you'll find people who see Apple as the cheerleader for a world of shiny, consumerist desire: a desire for things which everyone wants but no-one needs. Jobs sought it - and (I would say) thrived on it. So divisive in death, as in life: I don't think he's want it any other way. That's my obituary!

Sue Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ETA: Why do so many of my posts end up on the top > of a page so you can't see the context, and now > the link to the bloody photo in Alan Medic's post > doesn't even work (6) Are you using a PC, Sue?

Jeremy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Saw a great one on FB earlier... "Steve Jobs has > transformed our lives"... One of mine has gone with 'visionary', despite only using her iPhone for videoing her infant daughter eating breakfast.

Don't tell 'im, Pike.

Clearly Jobs will mostly be remembered for his mass-consumer successes. It's an incredible business story. Personally (removes hat respectfully) the real beauty of Apple products for me has always been in the way they worked, not how they looked. From the first Mac I bought (wipes tear from eye - an LC475 in 1994.. nearly a decade after Jobs left) it was a revelation to find a machine that was actually a pleasure to use rather than a necessary evil. (I'd still stroke it each night before I went to bed, because it looked so damned HOT.) Now I have a ?5 phone and a Macbook Pro - and I'm very happy with both.

Glad to help, Mockney. And I'll have you know that I was playing Castle Wolfenstein on an Apple II back in 1981!

Facebook is awash with sickly tributes from johnny-come-lately iPhone users. Thank you, Steve.. you were a true visionary who brought me the gift of 'Angry Birds' on a ?400 phone.

the-e-dealer Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > You couldnt make it up! Seems the Italian police came close.

From my understanding, the original conviction rested on DNA evidence, backed-up by cartwheels. The DNA evidence now appears to have been somewhere in-between 'exaggerated' and 'fabricated'. And cartwheels alone was not enough to keep her locked-up.

Sorry - 'them'. Let them go. Forgot about the plumber.

I think I just saw the bits on the news where everyone said "ok, there's no real evidence, we have-a to let her-a go" Because that's why they let her go. Unless you think there is some concrete evidence, but they let her go anyway?

Slightly more disturbing is seeing two people getting convicted for murder, not as a result of any real evidence, but because they act 'a bit funny' - and (spurred on by the press, foaming at the mouth as ever) everyone buys into the fantasy, because the fantasy is more interesting than anything proven by the facts.

Is doing the splits and cartwheels illegal in Italy? Amanda Knox. I find you guilty of doing the splits and cartwheels.. and 'acting funny' at other times, maybe, depending on which picture of the 6000 we took today looks the oddest and therefore gets published. You are hereby sentenced to twenty-six years in prison.

Parent argy-bargy

If Raffaelle had kept his long 'eastern-euro diehard henchman' locks and 'creepy frameless spectacles' combo, he might have been in with a shot at the front cover. Now he just looks like a plumber, out for a drink in Yates Wine Lodge.

Poor Mockney.. Blame fatherhood and increasing years. It won't be long before he's spitting at asylum seekers, hanging benefit thieves and seeing imaginary paedophiles in every bush.

We've already got Christopher Biggins, FHM and the Liberal Democrats.. no more levity required.