*Bob*

ianr Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > *Bob* Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Photoshop?! The cheek. > > Aw man. No wonder. You ain't never gonna swing > if you is ashamed of your instrument. Aw, applesauce, man! You two squares are all balled up. You're all wet on this one. Ain'tch'all used Photoshop to crop a screenshot? Now scram.

It does involve another person. But only one of us likes it.

Actually, that lady seems to have quite hairy arms. But I expect the device is the same?

This lady? As a spectator event it's right up there with watching someone doing the ironing, only with worse sound.

Thomas Micklewright Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Was that a star dying? How long were you standing there?

That's right. I start my Jazz Beard around Christmas so as to achieve optimum bushiness in time for the Autumn Tour. When the tour is up, I then shave - leaving the area around the ring to lie fallow before the new season's growth.

Yes. An anal beard.

Does anybody else like to stimulate the anus with a large vibrating egg, with the cricket on the background? Or is it just me?

Chad Gilbney of Catch Up magazine says of Chimneypots and Semibreves: Picking-up where Bach's Well-Tempered Clavier left-off, Chimney Pots features 31 exploratory keyboard pieces, each in a different key - with one for each junction around the M25. From the easy swing of 'Cobham Shuffle' to the tricksy faux-stride of 'PottersBar-1-2-3!', this is a journey like no other.

Photoshop?! The cheek. I should say that 'Chingford Dreams' will be released on the Brown Note label in early Autumn: part of a experimental collection of songs composed entirely on the M25 and entitled Chimney Pots and Semibreves.

Moos Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Think you could get away with dropping that second > 'tat', Bob. Just trying to help. I'm sorry Moos, but I've looked into it and - if you look at the score of Chingford Blues - I think you'll find that I'm right on this one.

As I think I've already made clear, it's neither a case of 'fault' nor 'deserve'; more that such things just come with the territory of ownership. Not an idealist stance perhaps, but it is a practical one. One of the motorbikes I owned, whilst not especially expensive, came with the unenviable tag of 'most nicked' in that area at that time. And, sure as eggs, it was. I was very angry at the time and remained so for months, but looking back, ought to have appreciated that the cold hard fact was that I took a chance in buying it. To a certain extent, accepting that fact would have saved me busting a blood vessel over losing it.

Like a comfy old pair of underpants, you could have slipped into the last of Don Siegel's good films, Escape from Alcatraz, on FilmFour.

katie1997 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Er...that's 11 words. > > Unless you meant 'up to 10 words' after 'Jazz > is...'. In which case, you could add an extra > POW! If you wanted to, that is. It was close enough.. for jazz.

Nice. I'm going to go with: Jazz is... wham-bam jikka-jikka rat-a-tat-tat POW!

Complete the following in no more than ten words: Jazz is .......................................................... (Otta: no more than one word)

I think things are relatively even-tempered. Have you seen the foie gras thread? I've had a couple of motorbikes nicked - and whilst I was enraged at the time and it certainly 'wasn't my fault', retrospectively I have to admit that simply owning them whilst living in a town plagued by thieving robbing motorcyle scrotes meant that the potential for them getting carted away in a transit van at 3am kind-of came with the territory. Sad indictment / practical admission. Bit of both probably.

Nice rant, Betsy! I wouldn't read too much into my post about, er, flashing. I was simply saying that the best reaction to 'expensive phones getting nicked out of peoples hands near train stations' is surely 'be more careful when/if using expensive phones around said train stations unless you have to'. The answer is surely not 'rail against society for not being the kind of place where you ought to be able to use expensive phones wherever you like, use your phone with gay abandon, and increase the likelihood of getting it nicked'. Just as a ?40,000 car needs more security precautions than a ?400 one, so does a ?400 phone over a ?40 one. I don't know why expensive phones seem to be immune to the same kind of paranoid care that people entrust to their homes, cars, money and handbags, but for some reason they are.

So what you're saying is that there's both 'good jazz' and 'bad jazz'? How can you tell which is which? Can you tell by the cover? I liked the look of this one (two brightly coloured parrots accompanied by the word 'jazz'? Count me in.) But then when I started listening it was just a load of jazz. Still, it's the first time I've read YouTube comments and more or less agreed with them.

A Spaniard speaks..

I don't know what happened there. It was a warm night and the back doors were open. I hadn't shaved for several days. It felt right. Now I just feel dirty.

That's exactly how I feel about Jazz.

Surely you mean 'where is you at'?

Goodman?

That's it.. Talk jazz to me..