*Bob*

I've finished the double decker and taken a sleeping tablet. With luck it'll all be over in fifteen minutes.

It's just jazz.. you know.. the jazz? Common or garden. Oh God.. somebody just said 'yeah' after a particularly discordant interlude.

I can't help it.. 'the jazz' has taken me. Any other jazz cats out there? If you're digging on lightly syncopated beats whilst reclining with a pipe, raise an eyebrow in my direction.

What's that note doing there? Can a microphone pick-up the sound of eyebrows raising and lowering, or am I imagining it? Why are the title of the track and the music therein entirely unrelated? argh.. here comes the improvisation.. heeeeeeeeelp

Not necessarily. Remember, Alan - mud sticks. No smoke without fire. Point the finger and make nebulous unsupported claims and - with luck - you could be stealing the Christmas Club money for yourself before the year is out.

aha.. motive

Has this stupid goose not been overcooked to death yet? We have enough hot air here today already. Do we really need more?

Alan.. you're leaving in a month and it doesn't even sound like it was a proper job anyway. Go out in a blaze of glory and unmask the thief at your leaving drinks, delivering your evidence with pre-prepared powerpoint presentation underscored by a pulsing dark techno soundtrack.

Is this the same thing as 'meateasy'? Went to The Rye some weeks back after hearing how marv it was, only to be served-up with a totally mediocre burger for far too much money. Pants!

Let's reclaim the streets and show these villains we won't be beaten. Everyone who owns a ?400+ mobile communication device should congregate around Honor Oak station during the hours of darkness and engage in absorbing conversations whilst holding said devices lightly between two fingers. I'm afraid I don't have one, but I'll be showing my solidarity tonight be leaving all my doors unlocked and piles of cash in clear view.

Jeremy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Interesting. I don't know anyone who does it and > isn't a bit of a @#$%&. You can substitute 'turns down a line' for 'does cocaine' if you must insist on being knuckleheadedly incapable of distinguishing between different sorts and levels of use.

Give it time. Most cocaine is probably ethical these days anyway - on account of not actually having any cocaine in it.

'But it tastes so good'

Repeating points made above now, but.. I know lots of people who don't eat foie gras. Lots of people who or who only buy free range or organic this and that. But I hardly know anyone who doesn't do cocaine. Essentially, you pick and choose where your lines are. So to speak.

If we all focus our energies then perhaps - one day - foie gras could waste as much government time and energy as foxhunting did.

If only there was a South & East London Fried Chicken Forum - where one could simply start a thread in order to 'do your bit'.. with the minimum of effort.

Jeremy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm making the assumption that anybody who cares > enough about food to buy a premium product like FG > probably knows what it is. I think that's the point. I'd guess that nearly everybody who eats it knows how it's produced. The information is out there. Some restaurants have stopped serving it, some people have stopped buying it; other restaurants and people haven't. We're at critical mass. By contrast, despite massive fingerwagging on a national televised level by top tv holier-than-thous - South London must still have several hundred indentikit southern fried chicken outlets serving beak which has never seen daylight sitting on legs which have never walked, you have to ask (as a campaigner) where your energies might be better spent, rather than fretting about a couple of pounds of FG served here and there on the weekend.

I can't help feeling that knowledge of the - shall we say - somewhat intensive production methods all add to the seduction and appeal. Indeed, were there to be a luxury foodstuff derived as a result of repeatedly kicking a badger in the slats whilst simultaneously giving it a Chinese burn, it would probably be top of the menu in many top Le Restaurants.

The tea-towel brigade! Gotta love 'em. "Ello mate.. I've just got out of prison.."

Is it me, or is James Murdoch kind-of pushing his Dad towards the direction of 'attack' as a kind of human shield?

The merchandise really is abysmal though. At least Viz merchandise retains a kind-of 'it's crap, it's tacky, so what?' air. The Mash stuff seems to be labouring under delusions of it actually being in some way funny or cool.

'Course you've got your standard 'all-talk and no trousers cowardly aggressor who backs down as soon as the noble and righteous stand their ground'- the one your Dad tells you about when you're at school. But then you've also got your standard 'looking for a fight at the slightest provocation' types - the ones your Dad neglected to mention - and you didn't know about.. until they were jumping up and down on your head, shortly after you realised that fighting wasn't your forte. (not me, of course - I am blessed with superhuman strength and the skills of a ninja)

Young *Bob* did cause a bit of a stir at the pirate-themed birthday party he went to, I must admit. On reflection, I think the Somali angle was a mistake on my part. The detail on the mock-automatic weaponry - on which I worked feverishly during the week - was not appreciated. Nor was the blacking-up. You live and learn though, I suppose.

I think I've taken a wrong turn. Is this The Family Room? Do you need to stay on topic or not? (Shiver me timbers)

That's just plain wrong.