*Bob*

From 'awaiting to grasp the hand of friendship' (seems like only yesterday.. oh.. it was!) to 'dishing-out poetic justice'.. all in the blink of an eye. Most people didn't see the thread, so I expect can't really comment. I saw it, but have no particularly strong opinions regarding either receiving unwanted and dubious spam.. or dubious spammers receiving 'the bird', as it were. Anyway, I'm sure most people with half a brain can see this for what it is: nothing to do with a pusher of local money-off coupons receiving a serious business knock.. and everything to do with a cockswinging contest between two established adversaries. You'll miss him when he's gone, you know. You'll have no-one to play with.

Now if you will excuse me - I have to make Jenny's left tit a cup of tea.

It's a fine line, Hal.. trying to balance the flavour of your original point with a dash of personal rivalry and couple of shakes of light goading. I submit that you have overcooked your goose on this one.

peeeeep..! peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.. !

'Edson Buddle' Now that's what I call a proper name.

Much appreciated. Actually, you'd better split the norks and send Mockney one.. it's only fair. (If one is slightly larger than the other, make sure I get the bigger one though, please).

Do you have the 1974 vintage of Agutter? I'll collect and take home I think. They charge a small fortune on norkage in there.

Does the prosecco come with one last forlorn look at Jenny Agutter's norks - before floating up towards certain death as the climax to the danse macabre - in a futuristic world where everyone must die when they reach thirty? If not - you can count myself and Mockney out.

If he does, it'll be his best prank to date.

You do. The last thing you'll see - before you explode in front of a baying crowd - will be Jenny Agutter's tuppence.

Would it not be possible to have someone confiscate the twelve thousand trumpet-horn things from the crowd as they arrive? It's hard enough trying to feign interest in football without having to put-up with what sounds like a swarm of gigantic bees for 90 minutes.

I think everybody should be forced to retire once they reach 10,000 posts. Or face 'Carousel', like in Logan's Run. Keef's gone past 10 now so (in the interests of fairness) he gets to go to 20.

Would anybody like a cup of tea?

God, I wish could find a reason to get out of here. Run, Hugenot.. RUN - while you still can.

I am a purveyor of rotten muzak. One day, I hope to write something truly abysmal which makes me a (thoroughly undeserved) fortune - so that I can retire to the sofa permanently and spend more time with Columbo.

Thanks for the tip-off! As it happens, I need to keep my bank details extra-safe at the moment because I've just invested in a new Nigerian diamond mine - and won the Spanish Lottery - which means I'll soon be a very wealthy man.

Dexys! SFTYSR

mockney piers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > While you're here Bob, I can't help buit notice > that the music to CBeebies' "Same Smile" is a > blatant rip-off of The Primitives' Crash. Would > they receive royalties for that, or could they > sue? I'd have at least changed at least a couple more notes - to be on the safe side. The question is, with it being on CBeebies, would it really be worth suing for the ?20 of royalties?

Mockney - I refer you to the piece of music at the end of the 'Jazz Club' clip from earlier on.

My band: Lead Vox - Sting Lead Guitar - Steve T (take your frustrations out on your axe) Rhythm Guitar - James Barber Bass - Louisa Drums - Sean (following the Phil Collins template) Dancer - SMBJones Backing Vox - Tillie, Rosie H and Daizie (wearing only Aviator sunglasses and a sheet of Bacofoil) Keef and Mike P - Roadies. Hugenot and HAL9000 - sit up front and take turns driving the van.

Television - Marquee Moon. 100% great. Stone Roses.. say no more.

I could have done with a little less of Ade Edmondson, Charlene from Texas and Thingy from Stereophonics. Sting might be a bit of a w@nker at least you can't fault his band credentials.

Jeremy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is that you? Not me, guv

Brendan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > And what about... sense of humour? Gene Simmons covered this element admirably.

Best band line-up: James Nance on hammond, Theydan Bois on guitar, Sid Bellamy on drums and Clam on bass.