*Bob*

Following in the fine tradition laid-down by Harold Wilson's chat show, this programme has that tangible air of 'everyone involved knows it isn't really working, but now it's too late to pull it'. In short, it's a rotter. And Lord knows I know one when I see one.. I've had a greasy hand in more than a few.

Seat near the railing = Nice Sean Seat near the aircon = Angry Sean

Hard to say, ????

'Zero tolerance' is not the same thing as 'no tolerance'.

She looked like she really enjoyed that. Especially the bonus kiss - right in the eye socket.

Nice work.. I set 'em up, you knock 'em down.

Thread-wise, it's a slow burner. I may need to throw a mugging into it to generate a bit more interest.

Steve.. How is the fag butt/fifteen foot fence situation these days anyway?

Katie, Perhaps you missed my exciting light bulb news?

Two gang members fled the scene after packing 14 stolen sheep into a Mazda car. Four alleged rustlers who crammed their getaway car to the roof with stolen sheep could face stiff penalties for animal abuse. (June 1, The New Zealand Herald)

Loving 4 and 5's choices of what to show in the face of the WC Final. 'Beaches'. And 'Sleepless in Seattle'.

'fled the scene'? This is just one of those things. New Bhoy, I would recommend doing what I do: Spend he requisite amount of time imagining you have superhuman powers which, were the situation to be replayed, would allow you to squash them flat like gnats.. then remember that what goes around comes around - and that there's no real point in escalating an annoying yet comparatively trivial encounter when you are the one with the most to lose. If they're emptying your recycling again tomorrow, then notify the authorities.

"Sorry mate.. you moved. Would you mind? Thanks.. back a bit.. bit more.. aaaaaand.. "

Yes, that's a great idea. Agressive youths are well-known for posing meekly to have their pictures taken at close range.

Have you passed?

As someone with no interest in football generally, but who usually manages plenty of temporal world cup enthusiasm, En-ger-land left me cold from the off this time. It wasn't even anything to do with their football, which was admittedly shite - even to the layman. No, it was already there before the first ball had even been mis-kicked. After a bit of thought, what I put it down to is that my general feeling is that - more than a few England players.. just aren't very nice people. And I find it hard to root for someone just on the grounds of country/skill/blah alone. Whether it's kicking the sh1t out of someone for not letting you choose the music, or stuffing your knob into anything that moves just because you can, or just generally being a spoilt arse lazing around by the pool with an assortment of, essentially - prostitutes - next to your twenty-six bedroom new-build mock-chateau.. all these things seem to have had a subconscious effect. Maybe it's different for real fans innit.

Definitely a ladies man too.. when he's not punching them in the face, of course.

Someone's got to stand-in for JimmyJimmy

you what?

Reading between the lines, Mick - I'm guessing you're more of a 'talker'.

Goodbye Moato

Well that's not what Tony says about it. He reckons he's a hero.

He did more or less save Kosovo though.. right..?

As time and gravity do their worst, ???? is surely regretting having had Eric Bristow's face on a Winmau dartboard done on his belly.

C'mon, Quids. Surely you can appreciate the individuality of a celtic-influenced armband? Or one's partner's name (or previous partner's names etc) across the shoulderblades in elongated stalag-style lettering?