*Bob*

All said, it's been a very 'Geoff Hoon' coup.

I'm not 100% on Harris/Orville. Could you clarify the hand/bum ownership thing?

Footbinding does not belong in the same bag as the neck or lip 'thing'. Footbinding = wrong.

Maltreatment of power supplies - by women. You wouldn't do it to a baby. Why do it to a power supply?

We have virtually the same conundrum, Mockers.. and an iPad was considered, but in the end a speak and spell netbook was the wise choice for the 'casual computing device'. What it came down to was having something light and cheap, robust enough to get knocked, sat-on, dribbled over and not needing to worry where it had been left to walk into a room and find it covered in a mixture of play dough and gravel.

And one of these as well.. this covers all computing requirements for the forseeable future. Goodnight.

Well.. what happened was, I was on my way into the Apple Store, and I tripped over and accidentally bought one of these..

I think I heard her greasing-up the rubber gloves in the kitchen. Question Time always gets me going.

Well, personally speaking, Gary, mine is square. Unfortunately, my girlfriend's is round.

But Gary, life is all about 'choices'.. you must know that more than anyone, surely? So. Round or Square. Which would be your 'first choice'?

Don't get me wrong.. it's lovely at the height of summer, especially when the festival's on at Stonk Hill. But anytime after September, you're freezing your knackers off and there's only one pub - if you be bothered to drive to Cess.

Similarly, stay well away away from Blartington Clunge. Terrible weather in that part of the world.

We'll never know now.. but if the Cons had been in power instead of Labour at the time I'd have bet my shirt on them finding a way to follow America in the war - one way or another.

I have a picture somewhere of a toilet, half buried in a mound of soil - in someone's front garden. I'll dig it out. It really is quite beautiful.

Michael.. if you were forced at gunpoint to describe your so-called oval plates as either 'square' or 'round' - then I think we both know what your answer would be. Remember that whilst I don't have a gun at present, I could easily get one down the pub or something.

Oval is to round as rectangle is to square. Those are the facts.

Oval plates pass 'The Angle Test', and thus fall under the banner of 'round'.

Square with corners rounded off. You're thinking they might be somewhere in between. Think again. You are wrong. There is no in between. There is only round.. and square. There is only right.. and wrong.

The excitement grows.. and naturally I shall be throwing my full support behind 'our boys' as they play 'foot-ball' I have a few questions. 1. Is the the terrifying referee with the boggly eyes still going? 2. Do we have a new official song, or are we to be treated to another round of Three Lions, sung by tone-deaf sunburnt plasterers, high on Carling? 3. Is it unlucky to watch a match on ITV if BBC is also showing the same game?

Michael, when you say 'oval', do you mean 'classic oval' or are we really talking about a square plate with the corners rounded off. Be honest. Remember - I can tell when you're lying.

It manages jus fine

I have it on good authority that Cameron's wedding set of square plates is being carried into number ten as we speak.

It would have been enjoyable for a choice moment or two to see Cameron, apoplectic with rage, should Clegg and Labour have got it together, but I have to accept that this had to be the best (and most realistic) outcome. Credit to Cameron (yikes!) for going for a full coalition, with meaningful LD cabinet representation - for the duration of a full term (or at least the intention of doing so). It's not just the measly number of seats Clegg is bringing with him, it's a very large share of the national vote. The natural cycle since I was born seems to have required the Conservatives to make the money but then Labour to spend it.. or too much of it.. So who knows.. this could be the start of a different way of doing things. I intend to at least open a window and take a gulp of fresh air - before cynically shutting it and muttering yeah, right..

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is there a bottle of whisky and a mirror in your > vacinity by any chance. We do have a bottle of whiskey and mirror here. Mick. I don't normally do this, but - if you let me have your number - I can get you guys together.

And you can't eat your food off a crucifix. Not even a faux-slate one with a raised lip for chopsticks.