*Bob*

Can't imagine why. My other cheap, sweeping generalisations should be easy enough to find.

Four months on lentils, sleeping on a sack, waiting in line every day for the privilege of being stuck on the back of the head by a bald man muttering in mandarin? Triffic.

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What's with the picture? Is he also auditioning for a role in Doctor Who, circa 1983?

They could have chosen a different journalist to cover this story

Shouldn't you both be at work?

I don't know what the answer is. With a high potential for a road-rage incident, you might see the arm out of the window and convince yourself it's not too bad. Anyway, the kid's got an earring so all hope is lost anyway.

(record spin-back sound effect) A car draws-up alongside. It's a Vauxhall Corsa, with a spoiler on the back and a UV light underneath. Old-Skool 'choons' pump out of the window. A tatooed arm hangs partially out of the window with a chunky gold bracelet on the wrist - and a Rothmans 'twixt the digits. There's a baby in the back - wearing an earring. Do you follow the same course of action?

Is it Earth Hour again already? What is it with with the climate change lobbyists obsession with all matters lighting, that means of energy consumption least likely to destroy/save the planet. Another worldwide freebie commercial on behalf of the manufacturers of dubious energy-saving lightbulbs, whilst everyone drives to work, as per usual.

25p on Meths - sorry LM

Will you be re-posting your picture again? For the local Dads who are trapped in sexless marriages to perv over?

Brendan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > *Bob* Wrote: > Nah, come on *Bob* it?s for the same reason we do > that self-deprecating shit you just tried there. > Because deep down we know that chicks dig it. Brendan.. put a sock in it.. you're 'Breaking The Magician's Code' here.

legalbeagle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > LOL! Why is that?! Because we're just plain DUMB

It's hard-wired into a man's brain that his own inadequacies (face like a bucket of frogs, bald spot, beer gut, bad breath etc) are no reason not to expect the most delicious of females to come running with just one lingering, beery, desperate stare.

Paxman on Nightnight was entertaining last night. After quizzing Pete and Ken about the lobbying revelations, he then turns the the Lib Dem in the dying seconds and says: "So.. would anyone bother lobbying a Liberal Democrat then?"

> > White people speaking as if they're black. > Old people speaking as if they're young. You've got it! Congratulations.

This has come as a complete shock.. up until now I always thought Steve Byers and Pat Hewitt were the last word in integrity.

I most certainly am. Well - I would be, if I wasn't lazy, unadventurous, racked by middle-class guilt - and a wuss.

You're not even a Brummie though, are you, MP?

I've got my eye on the large steel trolley with wheels lying on its side. It's a four man 'job' though.. who's in?

Happy to clarify, Monica. First up, boil the kettle. The water has to be really hot. You'll also need a mug or cup (some say china is best), milk and - naturally - a teabag of your choice. If you prefer your teabagging to be on the sweet side, sugar too. Place the teabag at the bottom of the cup, then - when the water is boiled, add it immediately to the teabag. Using a teaspoon, squash the teabag into the side and bottom of the cup firmly. Do this between ten and twenty times depending on how strong you like your teabagging to be. Lift the teabag out, then add sugar to taste, and milk until you reach a 'golden brown' colour. Finally - lower your scrotum into the waiting mouth of your partner.

I know it's called a 'sex shop', Daizie, but I don't think they'll actually let you have sex in it.

PeckhamRose Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Buy yer own and support the woman! Yeah! Borrowing porn?! That's schoolyard stuff. Do things properly. Get down a proper sex shop with your other half and make a day of it. Tell the shopkeeper your likes ("We're quite partial to a bit of teabagging") or dislikes ("We'd rather not see someone curling a chod down onto a coffee table filmed in slo-mo by a camera underneath, pointing upwards") and ask them to pick something out for you.

If anybody has the March 1987 issue of Fiesta then I'd like borrow that too please.

Blame the QT production people, for opting to put the question in the 'if your political party was a hat, what kind of brim would it have' slot. The panel were only left with three options: the live n let live response (ie saying nothing), the upbeat amusing one-liner (to demonstrate wit and sense of humour) or unwisely trying to make some kind of vaguely serious comment which, given the time available, was never going to work. Anyway, what kind of porn is women-friendly porn? Is there a lot of holding hands first, with the man cleaning-up after himself and possibly bleeding the radiators before he leaves?