*Bob*

They don't like being killed - that's for sure. Talk of ultrasonic repellers and humane traps is just monkey talk. Bring them death.. swift and true. Before it's too late.

Brendan, If you wanted to come round my house every Friday night, play music loudly, shout a lot, miss the toilet, smash a glass or two, refuse to leave until you were bundled out by hired hands and leave me to wash-up all the glasses and the vom of the doorstep.. I can assure you I'd be looking for more than ?3.50 a pint.

Put your face up here, so she can see how beautiful you are.

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Wine's shite - stick to beer, Stella ?5 for six at > many a late night offie, thank me later Stella is ?5 for six at every offie.. and the ad-men spent spent all those years telling us it was 'reassuringly expensive'

The *Bob* wine plan: Over the course of a year, order one decent case of wine from each of the big online wine suppliers. Your first case will, of course, be heavily discounted. After about six months, the supplier you ordered your first case from will be wondering why you haven't ordered any more and will start sending you discount vouchers - usually incremental.. ?10 off, then ?20 off. Wait until they offer you ?40 off a case, then buy. Soon you'll be getting pleading discount vouchers from all of them. You'll be spoilt for choice and quids-in. And I'm glad Thresher is shutting. Their selection of wine was dull as dishwater, always marked-up a third to cover their '3 for two offer' and if you're wanting to pay with a card you'd best take a book in with you.

The contractor doing the work wants to get paid for eight weeks on the job, when everyone knows it could be done in four if everybody pulled their fingers out. The result? Half a dozen men, standing around a half-dug hole in the road, smoking roll-ups at looking at page 3.

Stay on topic, please

Here's 'an indecent person'... Anything to declare, Sir?

Which shops in particular with such mission statements have drawn your eye?

It's nice and quiet where I am. But then that's why I bought a house here and not on a high street.

I don't especially mind them being there any more than the other agents.. or the dozen tedious curry houses.. They could do something more interesting with the window space though. Mime artists, perhaps?

You see what you want to see. It's like a Rorschach ink-blot test. You see football, I see cock. Vive la difference!

Don't get me wrong - as a 'thing' the Moon was awe-inspiring and I love it. Been there (so to speak) got the T-shirt etc. But on every other level it's completely ridiculous. Can you imagine an equivalent thing getting through today? Imagine the press conference. Folks.. we're off to the moon. What's there? Nothing at all - we know it to be entirely dead and lifeless. But we'll bring you back a stick of rock. How much will it cost? Around a hundred billion dollars. Why are we going? So we can get a flag on it before China do. What happens if you're successful? We'll go back five times and film astronauts playing golf. How much did you say this is going to cost again?

It's worse than that, Lizzie - I actually received two ?2 discount vouchers. I'll be raking-in the free goods! (As long as I go make two transactions, naturally) Interestingly, the marketing people at Co-Op HQ have chosen a rather disturbing image to represent the fresh new look of our fresh new Co-Op. I'm not sure how to put this, but if (for some reason) I were to be asked to model a penis using only ice cubes and a Granny Smith apple, I think it would probably look something like this:

I shall be amongst the very first to step through the door - providing no-one else steps through the door prior to 11am, when I intend to get up, I should say. And I shall hurry home to present my review.

I was hoping for some more basic changes. Not walking in to find dairy products lying around, waiting to be refrigerated? Again. A shop layout which makes it possible for more than, say, a dozen people to be comfortably shopping / paying for their goods? Fridges that work properly so that my milk isn't off the day after I get it home, which it has been on a few occasions? The sale of garlic, limes, fresh herbs and other such 'exotic' produce? Fixing the battered polystyrene ceiling with exposed wires a-dangling down? Not to find the ice cream freezer cabinet empty with newspaper and cardboard stuffed in it to catch the drips? Again. A basic selection of wines you might like to drink, as opposed to wash your windows with? I can't wait to get in there brandishing my ?2 token.

Good to see Bush is keen to get back there. Just in case they missed anything the first six times.

david_carnell Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So in fact the moon landings prematurely brought > about the demise of the USSR as its economy > collapsed under the attempts to beat the Yanks in > the space race. > > That's a bonus, right? Of course the Americans knew that from the outset. Right? Like it, David. There's nothing like a healthy bit of revisionism.

Don't get all gooey-eyed about it, Brendan. America only went there to teach the Russkies who was boss. As expected, they found nothing there when they arrived. Then they proceeded to return (several times) in order to not find anything again.

The excitement builds. A mailout from the good Co-Op folks has just landed on the doormat. Promised: an 'award-winning new look'. A 'truly irresistible range'. A 'whole new shopping experience'. And ?2 off. I hope so, because the old Co-Op sucked. Big time.

Apologies, velcro fans! I think my point was (it could be argued that) the cost of going to the moon was too high in relation to the tangible benefits for mankind (other than wow factor, the popularisation of velcro, and an entertaining movie by Ron Howard) Unless you believe all that giant leap business.

Science is important. Without us* having been** to the moon (solely in order to get one up on the Russians at a cost of $25billion) there'd be no velcro. *America ** Or did they?

wee quinnie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- Why can't they just be > interviewed by the Daily Mail or going on Strictly > Come Dancing or something if they want more money. Be prepared during the next series of They Think It's All Over for a plethora of faces you can't quite place.

Mexican Restaurant Can anyone spot the deliberate mistake?

Typos schmeipos But Tony, can I make an honest plea for a middle-class, do-gooding space after a comma? I'm going cross-eyed trying reading your posts - and I don't want to miss a single sentence of this exciting debate.