*Bob*

HELP HELP WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE

The human race.

Wise old Chinese proverb say 'If you're going to look in the toilet, you're going to find shit.'

That's what I thought. So.. From cakes to n*****s in only three pages. Good work people.

So the contestants make cakes and stuff - and then someone decides which ones are the nicest?

Well said. Me? I like monkeys. And tennis.

yeah, baby! I'm old skool No.. but doesn't the cellular network sometimes need to transfer a call via satellite for part of the way in certain situations? Such as in mountainous regions? Read it somewhere or other. The point remains!

If you're going to put a cock on the shed, make it a big one. Sorry for making light, but aren't these posts a bit mad? I'm reminded of going snowboarding once (back when I was cool etc) and phoning my brother who was at the bottom of a slope. I thought about the signal going up to a satellite, back to the UK, back up from the uk to the satellite and then down to by brother, despite him only being 100 yards away. These people live next door and will continue to do so long after this sort of dust has settled. How are they liable to behave towards the OP after they discover they've been described and slagged-off on here by a whole load of people who are possibly only getting one side of a story? 'Better? Or Worsch?' Mad.

Great news that 'Splash' is also returning - for a well-deserved second series. Can't wait for the Curling-inspired Olympic spin-off, "Curling one Down", presented by Rob Curling.

Massive inflatable penis erected on top of the shed.

Maybe one should remember that neighbour disputes are hardly ever black and white. Best not to get involved.

I'm working on a couple of shows at the moment which - I swear - are literally two steps from Monkey Tennis. I fear for our future - and that of our children.

The best thing to do surely is to splash the private differences you have with the people you have to live next door to - over a public forum which no doubt they will be reading, or someone will tell them to read. Oh, hang on.. maybe that's not the best way after all..?

When does Monkey Tennis start?

Getting hyped before hitting the gym for cardio!! #EatCleanTrainDirty from Craig David on Vimeo.

housing stock housing stock HOUSING BLEEDIN' STOCK

Fair enough - 'within reason'. But if you're buying in an area with decent houses (sorry, can't bring myself to say 'housing stock' without feeling the urge to kick myself in the slats) which is bordering on lots of other areas which have 'upped' then I think it's a safe bet.

Ultimately every 'desirable area' in South London was a dump once. It's just a matter of how far back you have to go. Everywhere will get better. (Or worse - depending on your point of view). I'd say bite the bullet, wherever you can afford (with an eye on 6-8%, not the current extraordinary low). How many times do you here "we didn't want to move here but we're glad we did"? All the time!

Ah yes, the ironic hashtag sign-off #gotreallyboredofseeingitafterabouttwoseconds

But if it is true (?!) that the profit margin on residential energy supply only runs at about 5%, then I can't imagine the domestic consumer ever being happy - even if the energy companies were to supply the stuff at a loss.

Amusing and I do like a bit of Noel - but he's in danger of parodying himself in that interview surely. "Shoes?! I mean F**'in SHOES? Who wears SHOES FerF**kssake? I tell yerrooo.. c***s, thatssoo.."

I can't begin to understand the sheer idiocy of coming back year after year at the start of the season, wagging your tail like an imbecilic puppy - for exactly the same dose of the same old shit as you saw last year. And the year before. It beggar's belief. Some of them can't even hold a tune.. Oh, hang on, I'm getting a bit mixed-up..

What with my deep passion for golf, I just can't find the time for anything else. Sorry, Mick.

It's all very confusing. One minute he's doing daytime financial news on 'Working Lunch' and the suddenly, football. What next.. Holby? I thought he was good on WL. Whether he's any good at football, I cannot say. It's such a moronic pursuit you might as well sit a lemon in the pundit chair with a face painted on it.

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It always surprises me when people snuggle up to > their cats or allow their cats to lick them when > they must he aware that said cats spend much of > their time biting into rodents. At least cats - unlike dogs - have the good sense not to eat their own shite. "C'mere boy - gimme a nice big kiss mmmmmm!"