Growlybear

I checked this with the Child Protection Officer at the local authority where I work a few years ago because I was concerned about a child in my daughter's class when she was at primary school who was left on their own at home on a very regular basis. I was told categorically that there is NO age limit for leaving a child alone. However, if something should happen to a child whilst they were on their own, their parent/guardian would be likely to be charged with neglect if they were deemed to be of an age where they should not have been left alone.

Yes, I think the new gates in Wood Vale look beautiful as well. They are a real improvement.

Dulwich Hamlet is NOT a church school - it is a community school and therefore attendance at church is not taken into account with admissions. Dulwich Village Infants is a Church of England school, but the two schools are completely separate and there is no automatic right of transfer from the Infant School to the Junior School. uplandsneighbour Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > new mother, league tables only give a snapshot, > and an old one at that. They can't tell you about > how the school is doing now or tell you much about > what it can be trusted to achieve. When my kid > started at Heber some years ago, the league table > info on Heber was damning! I was so sad that she > couldn't go to Dulwich Hamlets etc because they > were oversubscribed and nit-picky about > non-church-goers, but now I can't be happier that > I went with my gut instinct and sent her to Heber

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, and if it was me, I would cancel my trip without a second thought. I can't think of anything that would have persuaded me to leave my daughter overnight when she was a baby, let alone if my husband was away as well.

I would endorse what other people have said about Kumon. My daughter followed the Kumon programme between the ages of 6-11, and I think it was the most valuable education she could have had. It reinforces all the basic calculation functions until they become completely automatic, and works just as well for children who are underachieving as for those who are more advanced. There was always a wide age range at my daughter's centre, and I thought the discipline of always doing a few minutes work, no matter what, was really valuable.

I think you should trust your instincts. If, as you say, you could manage without your income, why not stay at home with your son? If you can afford to be home, I don't think there is anything you can do that will be better for him.

I would do whatever you think your son will be happiest with, which sounds like the childminder you have at the moment. I really don't think it is necessary for children to go to nursery before starting school. When my daughter was 4 I gave into pressure from other people who kept telling me I should send her to nursery, and sent her for two afternoons a week for the term before she started primary school; she hated every second, and I really don't think she gained anything from the experience.

chantelle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > It is not inevitable or normal that your child > will regularly do drugs and alcohol at age 14. And > they should be not be at unspervised parties until > age 16 or older, in my opinion. I don't think anyhone has suggested that it is normal for 14 year olds to take drugs or drink alcohol to excess regularly, but I think it's incredibly naive to think that the majority of 14 year olds haven't trieddrink or dope. I have always had a very open and frank relationship with my daughter, and think I have a realistic view about her life and that of her friends. Whilst I don't like some of what she tells me, at least I believe that I DO know the worst of what she gets up to, unlike the parents of many of her friends who still think their teenage daughters are little angels who hold hands with the boy next door in the milk shake bar, and would be completely horrified if they knew what I've been told about their little darlings. Because my daughter is open with me, I am far more able to give her relevant advice that will help her to look after herself and keep herself safe in difficult situations. She knows that I am always there if she needs me and that she can come to me with any problems; she has sought advice on behalf of her friends on several occasions when they have been in trouble and have been unable to approach their own parents who were completely out of touch with their lives.

But it's not possible to be sure that parents or adults will stay in all night to supervise a party. And even if they are in the house, they won't necessarily be aware of everything that is going on. When my daughter was still at primary school, she went to a party at a friend's house, where the seemingly responsible parents were in the next room for the entire evening, but unfortunately it didn't stop several of the children looking at hard core porn on the family computer. Whether or not parents condone alcohol being consumed at parties for 14 year olds, I doubt very much whether they can prevent it, and any parent who thinks that their 14 year old has not experimented with alcohol and/or dope is living in a fantasy world. Teenagers don't need to be at wild parties at midnight to drink or smoke - just walk through any local park on a Saturday afternoon or after school.

I doubt that there are many 14 year olds who haven't been to parties where there was alcohol and dope available, and I would think it highly unlikely that there are many 14 year olds who haven't experimented by this age. I think the teenage years are a very worrying period for parents, but I think the more you try to keep close tabs on teenage girls, the more secretive and resentful they become. I think it would be a real mistake to try to force her to add you as a friend on Facebook - surely she would only start a new account anyway? I can't think of any circumstances that would make me consider adding my daughter to MY Facebook friends! I also remember what I was like at 14, and how horrified I would have been if my parents had wanted to know details of the parties I went to; I would have seen it as a real intrusion into my privacy, and would have been hurt that they did not feel able to trust my judgment. So long as you feel your children are not putting themselves in really unsafe situations such as walking home alone late at night, and know where they are in case of emergencies, I think you have to take a deep breath, and realise that you can't control their lives for them.

My daughter went to Horniman Primary School, and we were extremely unhappy with the education provided, to the extent where we removed her and would have home schooled her if we hadn't been offered a place in another local school. Horniman did not provide sufficient challenge and differentiation for brighter children, and had very low expectations. We were also extremely concerned at the standard of discipline at the school.

Just be aware that a large proportion of stomach upsets in Egypt are not caused by food but by germs picked up from the money; Egyptian notes are generally absolutely filthy. It is a good idea to take antibacterial handwash with you, and use it religiously EVERY time you touch any local money. I am very prone to stomach upsets, but have always eaten whatever I wanted and have never had the slightest problem in several trips to Luxor. There is no need to avoid fruit, but I would try to stick to peelable fruit and vegetables where possible and it's often wise to avoid salad in local restaurants in case it hasn't been washed in purified water, although most of the better hotels will have their own water supplies. Egyptian food is lovely, and I'm sure you will be able to find plenty of the types of food you mentioned. Make sure you only use bottled water for cleaning teeth etc. If you exercise sensible precautions, I'm sure your little girl will be fine with the food.

Orange is the only mobile network I can pick up reliably from my house, so I have no choice. However, I've always found Orange customer services to be really good and efficient, and have always been 100% happy with the service I've received. They've also always be willing to do brilliant deals with new phones and packages when I've threatened to leave at the end of each contract period. I had a contract with 02 a few years back, and thought they were one of the most appalling companies I've ever come across. I haven't had any recent problems with the network as a result of any work that Orange might be having carried out.

My daughter is 17 and could sleep for England. It used to bug me when she wouldn't get up during the holidays and weekends, until I realised that, most of the time, it really doesn't matter whether she gets up at 10 am or 3 pm. So long as she gets up for school and for her voluntary work at lunchtime on Saturdays, I leave her to sleep until she wakes naturally during the holidays and Sundays. If she needs a doctor/dentist appointment, I make sure they are booked for mid to late afternoon. Unless there's a specific reason to get up early, I can't see the point in aggravating myself and my daughter by trying to make her get up when she doesn't want to.

Ligaturiosity Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > As Heidi has said, if you choose to offend society > with your socially and morally unacceptable > behaviour, you are opening yourself up to be > criticised. But I'm not sure that this woman WAS offending society as a whole - it looks more as though she was offending YOU. It certainly wouldn't have offended me if I'd seen her smoking whilst pregnant.

Ligaturiosity Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Lawrence, thank you for correcting my > spelling...although both publicly and publically > (my spelling) are both perfectly acceptable in the > English language. No, 'publically' is not an acceptable alternative to 'publicly' in UK English, unless the Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries have both made serious omissions.

Ligaturiosity Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Growlybear, you do not know that the woman acted > with 'such restraint' for starters. And the fact > that you assume that many people would have hit > out is sad. > AS has been said, if you choose to do something so > socially and morally unacceptable and to flaunt it > so publically, you should expect to get negative > comments and looks. > So in what way did the woman not act with restraint? You said in your original post that she was 'rendered speechless' - that sounds quite restrained to me! If I chose to launch into an unprovoked verbal attack on a complete stranger, I would at the very least expect to be told to mind my own business, but would think myself lucky to walk away without having provoked her to the extent where she would have hit me. Whether or not it is 'sad' to assume that many women in that situation would have hit out is irrelevant, but it is reality. I think it is actually more socially and morally unacceptable to harangue a stranger publiclyfor smoking a cigarette, which as other people have pointed out is perfectly legal.

Ligaturiosity Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Growlybear > > Good to see that you are advocating/suggesting > physical violence as a way of dealing with things. I don't think you read my post properly. I did not say that I was advocating or suggesting physical violence as a way of dealing with things at all. I said that I thought you were fortunate that the woman you accosted did not react in this way, as many people would have done under such circumstances. Most people would not react with such restraint when berated in public for their lifestyle by a complete stranger. > >

It always surprises me how thin skinned people are on this forum. I can only assume that the people who accuse other FMs of being nasty and rude have never posted on any other fora. I have been a member of a lot of different fora over the years, and have never seen any other forum where people are so restrained in how they post to other FMs on contentious topics such as this. I have also never come across a forum which is so heavily moderated. If people think some of the remarks on here are abusive or offensive, perhaps they should try joining a few other fora! And as for the OP's original post, I think she should count herself very lucky that the pregnant woman was rendered speechless and didn't smack her in the mouth, which I think is what quite a few people might have done in that situation.

Horsebox Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Will Heidi Hi and Growlybear ever let this go? The > more you both post the more it seems you have some > other motive, other than a passing interest in > something that has nothing to do with you > whatsoever. Witchhunt much? I would echo what HeidiHi said. I work with a number of primary schools where safeguarding and child protection issues are constantly under discussion and this is therefore an issue which is of interest to me. It is a contentious topic being discussed on a public forum as well as in the national press and on local radio and to single out two contributors to a thread and suggest that there is another motive seems a little strange. I apologise if I find it hard to understand the vast differences in what parents think is an acceptable way to get a five year old child to infant school. I just can't understand any possible reason or justification for sending a five year old on a one mile bicycle journey to school, crossing three roads, without adult supervision. But like HeidiHi said, I think I'll leave this discussion now - it's clear from the post by the parents that they have no understanding of why so many people are concerned for their children's safety.

If the parents didn't contact the press, then I wonder who did?

schonrocks Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Thanks to all those who have expressed their > support on this thread. > > We got sick of being holed up in the house. 4 > small kids in 4 walls is not fun after a while.> > Some stuff for you to tear apart: > > http://schonrocks.com/ > > Gillian & Oliver Schonrock I fail to understand the relevance of the above comment. It doesn't matter how you dress up or try to justify your decision, you will not change the fundamental belief of many people who have participated in this thread that a five year old is too young to cycle a mile to school, crossing three roads, supervised only by an eight year old, and that by letting a child of this age cycle to school without an adult present is highly irresponsible. You have presumably read the comments in this thread, and I would be very interested to know why you chose to bring this to the attention of the national press and put your children in the spotlight in this way.

Given the large number of young children who would be in the immediate vicinity of Dulwich Village Infant School and Dulwich Hamlet at this time of the morning, does it not also create a potentially hazardous situation to these children and their parents to have two very young children cycling amongst them on the pavement?

James Barber Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Alleyn's School has released the following > statement: > > ".. Both children are below the 9 > years-of-age threshold currently recommended by > the local authority (Southwark Council) for > crossing the road independently. Moreover, > Bikeability, the government-approved, > cycle-training organisation, itself does not > recognise a child's ability to cycle unsupervised > and independently until they are over eleven years > of age. " Presumably the parents have been given these recommendations, and it is very clear from both the Southwark Council and Bikeability guidance that a five year old is way below their accepted threshold to cross roads/cycle without adult supervision. I don't understand why they couldn't have taken the advice a little more seriously and reflected that perhaps their decision to send their infant child to school by bicycle, having to cross at least three roads, might not necessarily have been right. Even if they had decided that they know better than the local authority and a national cycle training organisation, what ever possessed them to take this story to the national press and put their children in the spotlight like this?

I don't believe that this will have a negative impact on the school at all, but shows that the school takes their responsiblities for the welfare of the pupils seriously. If I was considering sending a child to a local public school, it this would definitely make me more inclined to choose Alleyn's. I work with a number of local primary schools, and don't believe that the headteacher of any primary school in this area would condone five year olds cycling to school without an adult. Many primary schools won't allow children to cycle to school until they are in Year 5 or 6, even with adult supervision.