Belle

does it strip back to being more of a booster seat type thing as they get older?

They do mums too apparently! We've had flintstones too, love it there.

they now have their base near King's, SW, down that side street to the right before the carpark. They still do their meet the midwives sessions at Dulwich Hospital though.

Hmm my memory was she talks about 'crying down' i.e a wind down cry if the baby is tired for a few minutes or so after being put down, which is what we did with my first son - v different to an 'i need something cry' - will have to check back to my book as I am sure I remember her being v clear about not leaving a child crying. Re feeding 4 hourly, again that's a bit of a myth - she addresses this too near the start of the book if I recall correctly. She does graduate the routines towards that but not much - e.g. she's v keen on the 'split feed' so having fed at 2ish you might do a half feed at 5ish then another after bath. As everyone says with GF though, you do tend to pick and choose the bits you like.

She's really not anti bf to be honest - copious amounts of bf info in her books, I have read parenting books which are far less pro. She includes info on bottle feeding too but all her routines use bf as default (whether anyone can keep up with the frantic '20 mins left, express for 10 mins) schedule is another thing!) Saila - I felt a bit like that with my first, as it was a couple of things I got from GF that I felt helped him to sleep through relatively early. But I've tried a few of the same methods with my second (e.g. doing a feed at 10.30, doing feeds at roughly 7, 10, 2, 6 though not rigidly so) and he is the worst sleeper I can imagine having, two nights ago I got no sleep at all until 3.30am and that was only because my mum was here to take over (and also then have no sleep!). There is nothing really in the book to help with the issues we've had. Anyway my very unscientific sample of two shows it works for some babies, not for others I guess. I've done far more earth mothery type things with my second mainly because he's got such bad reflux so e.g. co sleeping/slinging have seemed obvious paths to help comfort him, but in the long run that hasn't helped him much either - now screams if try to co sleep, for instance. My conclusion is I am very much a 'flexi-mum' and will continue to carve my sometimes shaky path across the middle ground. But let's not bring Oliver James into the fray! :)

No, as I said I didn't mean to start a pro/anti Gina debate - I found elements of her book useful and incorporated them first time round, and I do agree she is maligned unfairly in some cases (if you read her book you see that she doesn't do the whole crying out thing she's often associated with, and in fact strongly says do not leave e.g an overtired child crying/ do not leave a toddler with fear of the dark in a dark room etc. ) Of course it is advice and to be taken or left, and as I said above, a month or two may not be crazy for some - I think what people are annoyed by is the fact that she seems to be setting a benchmark, another thing for mums to measure themselves against. And phrases like 'just grin and bear it' - albeit not her own, but she chose to include in her book - I just don't find helpful. Books are powerful, and whilst we can say 'just ignore them', for some people when an idea is planted in their heads, it can really take hold. I know I beat myself up for so many things first time round, often things I'd gleaned from parenting books. I was much more circumspect second time around. On another gina topic... I did find her potty training book helpful a bit at the start, good checklist for how to know your child is ready etc. but recently found one piece that made me laugh out loud. Basically said if your child is playing with their bits (which surely we can all agree is very normal) you should tell them to do it in private, say their room. I think that's a bit much for a 3 year old! She actually says if it hapens when out and about, tell them firmly to do it in the bathroom and adopt a special 'look' that they will understand.

Well we've just heard about a nursery place this week so poss March, but we've applied to several so if we get into more than one will obviously decline one of them - is it like school places where there's a shakedown and maybe places can get offered late on?

AND totally agree this is a cynical marketing ploy but I would imagine this would have been sanctioned by the author?

he hee... I think basically the advice with sex should be 'when you're ready', whether that's a few days (I know, but I do know people who have!) or a few months or longer, it's SO personal. I have always hated when people act superior on e.g. babycentre for getting back into it within a matter of days, everyone is different. I get the idea about advising couples to ensure they still have time for themselves if they can or whatever it takes to keep investing in the relationship, but think setting time limits and being so didactic is bound to put some mothers (and fathers?!) under pressure.

Too much prob in our case - I do notice my 3yo son;s behaviour gets worse in proportion to how much telly he's watched in a day! but I agree re quality being a bigger issue than quantity - my son has discovered the likes of Ben 10, spongebob, scoobie doo (not under my watch) and I find them a bit full on/not exactly winding down, plus they encourage fears (in the case of scooby doo) and quite full on/aggressive games (Ben 10). Absolutely fine with all those progs if he was a bit older but have started to seriously limit them and steer him towards younger stuff for now. Really like e.g. Max &Ruby, Peppa Pig, Timothy Goes to School, Mike the KNight & Octonauts for things that are gentle and not likely to leave scary images. re films, he was toy story obsessed for a few months last year, now watches them now and then for a treat or on a bad day (e.g. if one of us is ill). I've just ordered Cars though as he knows the characters from magazines etc and thought that might be quite a gd one. Magazines is a whole other issue..

pebbles do you buy the mattress separately? and how does it all fold away? Also needing one soon...though also like idea of one as child's bed too.

This is quite an amusing response to GF's new book, which someone posted on babycentre. I'm not meaning to start a Gina debate here - I actually have found some elements of GF useful, first time round at least, and I'm not at the earth mother end of the spectrum the blogger possibly is, but am loving the response to the GF attitude re new mums and sex. find the 'get back into it 4-6 weeks after' a bewildering new addition to her repertoire! http://babycalm.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/an-open-letter-to-gina-ford-28-2/

I found the medela pump mentioned above really good first time round (borrowed one), and I found i had to get out of the bustle of the household, up to my bedroom, sit and relax and think about my son (I used to think about when the midwife said 'your baby has black hair' in the delivery room as my son was born, and completely well up with emotion!) - this seemed to work. But I didn't keep it up long, as did find it very hard to find the time. Second time i bought an avent pump which was manual and ok, not as good as the medela though. Totally agree with what pippa says re it being about letdown - I'd notice the difference definitely once it kicked in! I didn't keep it up long this time either, again just too much else to do. I found my supply totally adjusted to mix feeding but perhaps that's because we did have to use quite a bit of formula from early on. Re formula - the ready made cartons are great and although expensive, prob worth it if you're only doing e.g. one a day? once you get into a system of sterilising a few bottles every 24 hrs it becomes second nature. Finally, I think you have had a v hard time by the sounds of it. And must be tough needing to go into uni etc. Also agree with Pippa about meeting up with the winter babies mums, if you're feeling isolated - they will all be at the same stage as you which will really help, and I'm sure some of them are experiencing similar issues. I know I found group meets a bit overwhelming first time round (still do a bit now!) so you could perhaps see if anyone's up for a quiet coffee if you prefer? I didn't go out much at all in the first couple of months with my first, but I found that once I'd started it got much much easier. Everything seems so much better if you've had some fresh air and sunlight, and even more so if you've met up with another mum and had a moan about sleep/feeds etc. A month is really no time at all - I don't think I made it to the park till my first was 5 weeks old, and that felt like a major operation! So don't feel too pressured. You're doing really well, whatever you choose to do re feeding, you should feel proud. xxx

My first son took a bottle (formula) straight from the fridge/room temp, was happy to be fed anywhere e.g. could do it in buggy if caught short, and slept pretty well from early on. Second son was mix fed for first month then completely formula fed, much fussier: has to be warm, can't feed in buggy really as needs to be in certain position and is a terrible sleeper. So don't think there are any givens with any kind of feeding really! must say with my first esp (diff with second as he's on special formula so can't do cartons, also the temperature thing as above), I never found ff a hassle, only envied the ability to instantly calm a crying child. I just always had one more carton than I thought I'd need and a couple of sterile bottles to hand. With my second, bf went a lot better to begin with and I did like that I could eg walk around or go and find what naughty older brother was doing while feeding, but equally I have been SO grateful for the fact I can let both grandmothers and my husband help with feeds, as we have not had a v smooth ride with my second so I've needed a lot of help. If things had been different when my second was younger, I'd def have tried to keep bf up as I did really enjoy it and as above found v convenient, but (just my opinion) I'd do bottles too (expressed if you'd rather not introduce formula though many babies do both and are perfectly healthy) just to give you some freedom/flexibility. I've had two horrendous bugs in the 5 months since my youngest arrived, the first when he was just 2 weeks old, and when I was in bed immobile with a fever I was just so glad my mum could feed him with the bottle!

Not at all, except for on washing which I have to be. don't even manage to keep the ocado to a weekly thing, sometimes ends up being 5 days apart or 10 days, depending on when I get time to do it. F where do you get your mum calendar as I have had to concede we do need one now to keep up with all the various appointments etc? but couldn't find one I liked online.

we were in this position jan/feb last year, and I was newly pregnant so also worrying ahead. I did the lying by the cot thing most of the time, but not in a supernany way. I did limit talk etc otherwise he'd then just sit up and think it was playtime, but I'd hold his hand and just lie or sit near him. If I thought he was trying it on, I wouldn't go straight up the minute he shouted. We had 2-3 mths of it and it was tough but he's come through it really well. I think the reassurance helped. If we ever left him too long (by accident usually) he'd get way to wound up to sleep. Likewise if we went in too soon/too often he turned it into a game. Sorry haven't read all posts closely so may be repeating here. I spent most of last year to-ing and fro-ing on the nap, and the fact was he def still needed it right up to about Sept last year when he was 2.8 mths, but it was def affecting nightime - an annoying catch 22.

i am constantly wishing goose green had those! The busy road really gives me the creeps.

thankyou!

In case anyone from pta is reading - trying to figure out if there's an open day next week, does anyone know?

i am getting quite sold on the idea reading this thread too... bst is a rice cooker the same thing basically then? sorry, totally ignorant on this as don't eat much rice but quite like the idea of getting 3 year old more into it. And about to have a 4th mouth to feed once baby is weaned so anything to make meals easier appeals.

i didn't instigate it - he started waking earlier and earlier and is v definitely hungry at that point - drains the bottle, despite full bottle at bedtime.

Am really hating the 10pm feed at the moment - esp if it's taken till well after 8 to go down - feels like way too short an evening! used to be more like 11, 12, 1 or even 2 before xmas... have decided after this horrendous bout of family illness we are going to tackle sleep once baby is well - he's 5 mths tomorrow and eats SO much in the day(not weaned yet though) that am convinced with a feed at 10pm shouldn't really need another till 5/6. And all the other wakes need to be sorted, so going to try with various methods ourselves and then get some professional advice if not getting anywhere. 5 months of no sleep, enough is enough.

hi - i think marmorma man on the forum does a b&B thing with a granny annexe which might suit ythem perfectly - maybe search under his name?

i think nicola posts under childsleepsolutions

oh gussy poor you! that sounds so tough. i thought we had it bad - all 4 of us have variations of this flu/sickness thing, with me and both kids getting secondary infections so on antibiotics now. really annoying it didn't stagger like illness normally does as we are all equally ill, but at least husband is here (if ill) and his mum too - poor you, hope the vomiting is gone now. we were told in a&E to make up a jug of diorlyte and just give little and often. if you're worried about dehyrdation I'd calle nhs direct and they'll prob be able to talk you through the signs? though hopefully now they have turned a corner.... ugh lets hope todays warmer weather heralds an end too this winter of illness!