Belle

We've been meaning to buy a fan for 2.5 hrs - any recommendations?

Just found the thread I started about this 2 years ago when my son was the same age: http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?25,282322,282322#msg-282322 As you'll see, I was sure it was teething, but actually the point made by jenren and others - that it was poss just personality and something he'd grow out of - was spot on! Not to say this is def the case with your baby but worth considering, I def found it comforting realising it was prob him rather something I was doing wrong.

I remember finding this so hard as I'd have to leave NCT meet ups early etc, it's def helpful to know you're not alone! And so irritating to find things like motion don't help - everyone would always say 'oh put him in the sling' etc, and none of it worked! Think Fuschia posted a useful blog or sthing a while back about some babies just needing to cry and be allowed to cry, and that all you can do really is be there for them and reassure them - you can't nec stop it. But when it is your own child it does cut right through you... mima08 I also experienced the thing where they stop as soon as dad gets back etc. My advice is: take advantage of that! Go out the minute your husband is back and get some peace/leave them together for a copule of hours on a Saturday and go for a massage, think when your baby is having screaming fits you need time away from them!

I can never bring myself to go to bed early, even though I am mostly exhausted at the moment. I just really treasure the time to myself! Son is so full on - went to a picnic today and think he sat still for a total of 5 mins in 3 hours - I just love the time I can sit down and read/go online/watch crap telly. But then end up totally knackered next morning thinking 'why didn't I go to bed early...'

I love the look of the nipper and they are bringing out a new version this year too I think. It's v good value.

I think I wrote a similar post when my son was around this age! I never really worked out what it was - though in retrospect perhaps it was still his reflux bothering him - but I def found this age v 'screamy', including at times when eveyrone tells you babies will zonk out e.g. in the car. I would say - don't feel bad about the dummy as it comes into its own with a screamer! Get out and about as much as possible - even if you still get the screaming, it won't seem so bad out in the open air somehow. I also think fresh air helps and being out provides some distraction. Other than that it may be a bit trial and error and and a bit acceptance - maybe it's something he needs to get out of his system every now and then. Sorry not to have much more of use to post, but didn't want to read and ignore since I do totally empathise! Hope it helps to know that it does pass. I found that the advent of solids, crawling and teeth (6,7,8 mths respectively for us) made a huge difference and the screaming fits all but died down after this point. I wonder now if a lot of it was frustration - there's an old fashioned term my mum's generation use about some babies 'not liking being babies', and I think there's a lot in that.

Although I was with the Lanes, during my labour I had 2 midwives I'd never met, and much of my post natal care was shared out too as my named midwife was away. It really didn't matter at all! They were fab and I didn't care that I hadn't met them before. A friend recently had her baby at Kings with midwives she'd never met and had a very positive experience. I think for me the main advantage of community midwives is less the labour thing (since as I've said you could end up with a team member you've never met) but more the continuity of care between appointments, but even that is not a given or necessarily that important. And sorry for getting into the pro/anti debate, recognise that's not what you were after. :-$

I see where you're coming from - though I wonder if having 2 midwives with you who are able to call ahead to Kings and blue light you in if nec, is in the scheme of things safer even in that 1% than being left alone on a post natal ward? It's not as though you're attended to regularly by one, let alone 2 midwives after a birth in hospital. Not trying to do down the hospital choice either, just saying it's not black and white.

Hmm I'm the opposite - I want him in the cot till he's 10, I value the time when I can contain him!

This is v interesting - the midwives at Kings did the u-shaped nest thing with us, so we did follow that initially at home - will def do it again.

I hate the ominous quiet of toddlers - always means something bad here, usually climbing on top of TV/bookshelves or pouring juice on electrical wires.

What I found with my son (had quite bad reflux) was that he was in a lot of pain during feeds as well as after, and threw up an unbelievable amount - literally we were always changing our clothes, and had to use a throw on the sofa as it was getting ruined! We were v thankful of having laminate/wooden floors i.e. wipe clean, and I prob went through about 5 muslins a day, maybe more. Always had to have one in the pram as he'd throw up there a fair bit, and had to change moses basket/cot sheets a lot. We had the mattress raised for months and that def helped. I found that whilst gaviscon didn't stop the throwing up, it seemed to diminish the pain of swallowing the feed, which helped a great deal.

It's the kind of story that cd make Grazia (they do that token section on news stories from around the world)

Yup that's a nice thought Anna, and I'll def bear it in mind in a few months time! I also found I had to start cutting the nap after bedtime hassles - we had a few months of disastrous bedtimes. We initially tried cutting nap out altogether but that led to meltdowns/crazy buggy naps at 5pm which disrupted bedtime - even though it did mean he was so exhausted he crashed out straight away at night. So we experimented a bit and settled on 1 - 1.5 hrs (depending on when he woke that day, what he's been doing , errr how much I feel I need a break from him!). I think just breaking the cycle helped - I think it's the accumulative nature of a daily 2 hr nap which affects their bedtimes, as nowadays we find we can on occasion let him go 2 hrs if he (or we) really need it and nothing is affected. Of course there are the odd days when we get a bedtime fight or nap refusal, and he was initially grumpy when I woke him, but that did settle. Now I find if I don't wake him he either wakes of his own accord, or goes quite long and gets grumpy. I do also think shorter nap helps with the early waking, though not always. Ironically we had some of our worst early starts right in the middle of winter, so the light theory didn't apply to our son. Overall though we have realised we can drive ourselves mad trying to figure out correlations/patterns, and it's more a case of finding something which works most of the time. They will always buck the trend just for fun on occasion. I'm not looking forward to seeing how a newborn affects my 2.5 yr old's sleep!

I think teething can be so hard to pin down, and so frustrating for parents, that it's good to feel you're doing something (amber necklace/teething powders) even if there's not definite scientific proof for it working. I know when we have visited FRance and Corsica, it was v much the norm for little ones, which I thought was interesting. I personally did use nurofen and calpol when I felt it was needed, but in fact for us teething was completely overshadowed by endless ear infections (which did require pain relief) so the teeth largely came in without us noticing!

I used to put the necklace on my son's ankle at night but once he was a bit older I just left it on round his neck 24 hrs a day - it was fine. It's one of those things you never know if it's really working or not (like the powders), and i know our ENT doctor was v sceptical but we certainly never had much trouble with teeth once he wore it.

We def had the explosion BST mentions at around 2 - J was always more forthcoming with us than around other people but didn't have many words, or use them anyway, however since 2 his speech has made massive leaps, it's quite striking what a difference a few months can make. Unlike your wee boy J still rubbish at following commands but think that is more bloody mindedness than a lack of understanding!

Oh yes I remember that article. I do think helen rumbelow is a gd journalist, so was interested to read it. And do think Wolf's last point food for thought: ?People never say ?don?t take your baby on a car journey?, even though the risk of a car accident is far greater than not breastfeeding. But when it comes to a mother?s time, nothing we can ask is too much. ?Let?s think about what would happen if we asked fathers to do this, if there were somehow evidence that babies who are looked after by their fathers at home for six months do better. We would see a lot more critiquing of the science, a lot more people saying the benefit is marginal, a greater reluctance to offer the advice.? tee hee - can you imagine if it was the dads having to bf?? (am trying to lighten the tone here a little!)

It's not black and white as we all know - sometimes the support is there but a struggling mum needs an instant solution, and doesn't have the emotional and physical werewithal to keep trying. if she has to use formula for either the short term, while bf is established, or opts to use it permanently, it's probably helpful to think of it as a 'good' nutritional option as opposed to breast milk being 'excellent' - rather than the idea that it's a 'poor alternative' which could be quite upsetting to a mum who may not have made her decision lightly (I know I didn't).

I bought a dress by 'Butter by Nadia' in Questionnaire in Dulwich Village for a wedding pre pregnancy - it was quite dear but this amazing design which means you can wear it in about 100 different styles - anyway, it's one size and have recently worn it to a wedding with bump, with success! Might be worth it if you want something you would wear again post baby? I also in my last pregnancy had a million weddings and bought a Ghost dress which was short with an empire line, it even coped with a 7 mth bump and being a non maternity dress I've worn it between pregnancies too. I can't now come to the water park because my son has a hearing test in town now that day, but wd def be up for meeting another time and will come on 17th.

i think the options you mention make for quite heavy doubles? I wouldn't personally buy for now based on what you may need later - can always buy a second hand P&T on here (which is w hat I've just done in anticipation of number 2, as my 2.5 yr old is a runaway so I need to contain him when on the streets etc!) - with first baby especially think it's important to have a pram that is easy to use and that you like, and if need be you can always sell it (think Bee will have gd resale value) and buy a double or go second hand as I say. Plus, things change quickly in pram world - may be some amazing new lightweight double out by that point!

I'm like them both - historically was likened to my dad (not necessarily his best bits either) but like many women, find myself 'turning into' my mum as I get older, saying similar things to my son as she said to me, having similar responses etc. I wish I had more of their best bits though. My mum is much more level headed than me, I'm highly strung like my dad. In some ways though, SOOO different. My mum will arrive into King's Cross on the train late at night and travel to ED by public transport - it would not cross her mind to ever get a cab, no matter how late. Not in a skin flint way, just v pragmatic. I am completely the opposite. She is horrified by our literal attitude towards 'best before' dates and that we don't routinely keep leftovers from takeaways etc. I feel quite sentimental about this subject (I feel you Ryedalema!) as my dad died in my teens, so I only have a 'child's view' of him really. Wd love to know how we'd get on nowadays and what we'd agree/disagree on re parenting.

Love it!

Ruth - i think someone on the SAHM thread mentioned this too, that 'housewives' of yesteryear potentially left the kids to cry/tend to theirselves while they cleaned, whereas our generation is more keen to interact with our children and leave the housework. we'd talked about getting one whilst we both still worked, and then found once I was at home all the time with a baby (esp with all the mess that entails) we had more of a need of one than before, created more mess. It's not something I'd sacrifice if we could possibly help it, esp with another on the way.

Couldn't see the link - but is this from the Family section, the book of poems that guy wrote? If so I thought he was great! Want to buy for my husband for Father's day.