Belle

A lot of us use the family room as a sounding board, zeban. It's not as though the op is asking us to name her child - just to give an opinion.

Glad to hear it went well reren. I found it worked well and plan to do it again for baby number 2. It's also great when eating out - you don't have to think about preparing stuff to take with you etc.

I can def do any of the July dates. But yes also up for poss one o clock club or similar during week with anyone who has a toddler.

mumof3girlies - how awful that you were attacked. You sound like one of the good ones, and they clearly are out there. It does sound like maybe the role needs to change.

yes buggie there was - someone posted a link to it on the forum - they were considering ED I think, or perhaps that was my imagination?

I didn't worry too much re salt as so little of it made it down at first and I tried to make sure what I was offering was balanced - so moderation. When i give him baked beans I do buy the low salt version, and I don't add salt to soup for him but that's about it. cooked chicken, sliced cucumber, tomato, peppers - loads of salad things work. even sandwiches.

We went to this place on our honeymoon, some friends had given us money as a wedding present for a blow out meal - it remains one of the best I've ever had: http://www.danielnyc.com/dbbistro.html My understanding re NYC restaurants is they change a lot - might be best getting some advice from people you're staying with or, if you're in a hotel, from the concierge.

Ah, thanks SW - it's good to hear :)

Not much to add to the good advice you've been given. I would say it's early days yet - - my son def took to about 7ish months to be eating any great quantities I'd say, but we did pretty much exactly the same approach as Silly woman and it worked well. You have to use your judgement a bit - so raw apple we didn't do for a while just because it's quite hard, not so easy to gum etc, did things instead like chunks of nectarine. never had any choking incidents - can't even remember any gagging to be honest, or nothing stands out. Didn't do any purees but did spoon feed some yoghurt I think. Mini oatibix in milk was a good finger food breakfast. My son's going through a classic 2 yr old (I hope so anyway) picky phase at the moment but generally BLW was a big success and cut out so much hassle. We bought bags of frozen veg - carrots/beans/cauli heads - and steamed them and gave them to him. There is a lot of playing/exploration for a bit and it's v messy, but all v healthy! Eating out is easy as you just give them bits from your plate/see what they like the look of.

Me! Due 30 Sept - how about you?

Hmm, J can do most of this I suppose, just chooses not to (e.g. drink from cup/kick ball) - guess these things are always a bit arbitrary. I'm not averse to going along but they haven't contacted me so can't really be bothered to chase up.

I've had no letter - and we had our 8 mth check at 16 mths as I happened to go in for a v rare weigh-in and mentioned the lack of it - was totally pointless. My view is if I don't get summonsed I won't go, and even if I do...not convinced they are necessary unless you have any concerns. Know of people nearby who were told they wojuldn't be able to h ave one due to short staffing so surely not that essential?

That's so true Lochie re early diagnosis - I was so lucky that from 3-4 weeks in GPs were acknowledging the problem, I think I got my diagnosis by 4 weeks. My midwives hadn't really noticed!

Guess it's very subjective. I know when I first started feeling bad, lots of people dismissed it as usual baby blues/new mum tiredness, and even now I get frustrated when people try to say 'yes but isn't it like that for everyone'. I think if you've have depression before it'll be familiar. if not - well, different for everyone, but for me, I saw little point in going on, cried more than I didn't, thought the world would be better without me, felt panicky and sick whenver i was left on my own with the baby, thought going to the park with the baby was the equivalent of going to the moon, thought I'd made a terrible mistake...Would lie on bed crying, unable to pick up the baby when he needed me. I think the biggest thing that marked it out from other people's experiences of baby blues/tiredness was not that i was suicidal, but that I didn't see the point in life any more. Edited to add: on a more prosaic note, there is a questionnaire (think called the Edinburgh Scale) which GP can do (or poss midwife/health visitor I don't know) and it will ask certain questions about your state of mind - whether you look forward to things anymore etc - not sure how useful such a tool is, I didn't really need it but it certainly gave the GP confirmation that I needed help.

Def true it's good to prepare for either eventuality, though I know how hard that is. Last time even thought I'd told myself a hb might not happen, I was still a bit gutted when it didn't. Will your midwives support you at home at least in the early stages? that might help?

Mine was awake but tuned out until I could get out of bed! Anna - that is a good idea - I find i get in a vicious circle when there's an early start, as I'm then too knackered to do anything too active. Must get J into swimming! Nick Jr is on here...

Yes, I'm not sure the article was structured or even written that well - but some useful insights from a wide range of people. I did also think, hang on - doesn't the Guardian/Observer run a feature on this topic every month?! Not that I'm complaining, all v useful food for thought.

My friend gave birth in a birthing centre in Essex and it sounded amazing - they were the only ones in there, husband got to stay over - private room with double bed!

Quotes Leonie Penna from Kings: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/apr/16/home-birth-trial-or-rewarding?INTCMP=SRCH

Yes, this is brilliant & inspiring.

Just shortening the nap/making sure he's awake from 2pmish might help, has really helped here. We got the groclock though I think our son is a wee bit young to quite get it (2.2), but I do think it gives us a bit of leverage. We set it to 7 and on days like today when he's awake earlier than that we just ignore (unless obviously upset) and then when one of us goes in at 7, make a big fuss 'oooh the sun is up, so now we can get up for the day', and reverse at night 'ooh stars are out, it's sleepytime' etc, which I think does help, he's sorting of getting there is a 'rule'. Know what you mean re no nap at all not being the answer - my son refused to nap yesterday and woke earlier today than he has all week! But i do also find major activity helps - if he doesn't do something physical morning and afternoon then he's much less tired/likely to sleep long. Though I know you have a wee one too so guess this may be harder. Is he in a bed? I.e. can get up and run through? maybe stairgate on door?

Oh thankyou, i've already had a recommendation and am thrilled he is the Brierley consultant, though Leonie Penna sounds fab too.

Thanks so much everyone, and for the PMs too, so reassuring and some great advice. I think I am def going to seek a quick referral to the perinatal psychiatric team, not least as I am on their radar already. If there is a wait t hen Saffron I will consider yr private guy, we have private healthcare insurance though you know how picky they are about actually stumping up! I think once I've had some professional counselling I would still like to speak about my concerns with an obstetrician. I totally appreciate a c-section wouldn't circumvent PND necessarily and is with risks etc. I'm just trying to balance up what is going to be the least destablising option really. I had a v unpleasant and extended post natal stay at King's last time which was also a factor, so there are risks with any option as far as I can see (short of something I can't afford). However I feel bolstered by the support and practical ideas of the forum as ever!

That's interesting Saffron, I did raise this idea once with my GP (before I got pregnant) - she wasn't keen but didn't rule it out. If i went on the same ADs as last time it would rule out bfing but frankly I'd opt for sanity! JessB - also very helpful - will PM you in due course! Very interesting it was the Brierly who got you through really. And I did partly book with them because they have a specialism in mental health issues. Seeing mw next week so will raise it then.

Good ideas...i'm a bit scared of raising with midwives, but think that's prob the first step - and yes then ask for consultant/perinatal appt. My m/w has already flagged me with the perinatal people given what happened last time. She's told me to tell her if I feel any antenatal depression ( I don't so far) or anxiety (I guess I do given my post!). Fuschia, have thought about hypontherapy and am keen, had christine's name in my head (prob from posts on here!). Agree it all needs to be talked through. Thanks both of you, it's a relief to hear reassurance and recognition somehow, think that is part of the battle really.