Belle

For some reason have started to freak out about the birth of my second baby (Sept). First time round was a game of two halves: straightforward until full dilation, then major problems when baby got stuck, ended in forceps in theatre. Was fraught - had pre eclampsia, and as a consequence it was early, baby was underweight, BP soared in labour. For this and other reasons, known and unknown, I ended up with a pretty bad case of PND very quickly after the birth, and was on antidepressants for over a year. Am v happy with midwives (Brierley) and planning homebirth. But am starting to really panic about the birth. I know in theory should be ok - was able to cope until full dilated last time, reason pushing stage went haywire was because tiny baby slipped into awkward position. But I think that part of the PND root cause was the losing control aspect. And you don't get much more uncontrolled than birth. So am now wondering, do I attempt to argue a case for an elective c-section? If no go on this, do I get into massive debt to pay for one? I don't want to raise this with midwives yet as pretty sure they will not be in favour! I know there are people who feel that all women should have to go through natural birth - I don't agree. I'm just trying to figure out whether I am one who can (again). without major consequences that is.

Do you know if it comes with a pump or something to drain it with? that's my biggest worry. part of me thinks might just make do with bath.

That's interesting pilsbury - didn't realise they had their own pool. Am not due for ages, but good to know!

Polly/Buggie - hate that question too and have also thought of giving a similar response!

Oldnewromantic - I answered the door for a delivery when my son was about 8 days old and a neighbour popped her head in, when she heard I'd had the baby, first thing she said was 'And you're breastfeeding?' - it was the worst question I could have been asked at that point and I nearly burst into tears (though I know she meant well). i think I said weakly 'trying to...'. And ran back in feeling embarrassed. Isn't it awful people end up feeling embarassed at times no matter which way they're feeding their children? What business is it of a random passerby? Either way it's not crack for god's sake, it's milk! I think my chances of bfing this time around are much higher because I'm much more chilled about using formula if I have to - as in Ad 2000's experience - and if in the end bf doesn't happen again, I know this time that the world won't end and that there are benefits (not saying it's better, hate the two being pitched against each other, just saying there's are always silver linings to be found!).

slightly off topic, but given the perceived lack of celeb support for bf has been lamented on the board before, I thought people might be interested: did anyone see the first pics of Orlando Bloom's new baby? they were of his supermodel wife Miranda Kerr breastfeeding. Also speaking of footballers, I knew some people who worked on the breastfeeding manifesto a few years back (to change the law to mean women can bf publically without being asked to stop etc in cafes) and the footballer Theo Woolcott was one of the celeb endorsers. Turns out his mum is a bf counsellor and he was happy to lend his support. think that's a great message.

Think both esph and push studios (bassano and blackwater streets respectively ) offer this.

ratty Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > A lot of the " right schools" stuff is blown out > of all proportion of course. There will be bad > kids and good kids in each and every school and > our job as parents is to encourage our kids to be > the latter and demonstrate the benefits of this. > One advantage of living further out of London I > would guess is that this choice is reduced or take > away. Where I group up my parents had a choice of > exactly one school. Did they fret over it?? > Nope!! > > Quality of schools will not be paramount in my > search for somewhere to house my family and watch > my kids grow up. It will be the amount of green > space around, the biggest house and garden for the > money we have (very little) and a general feel for > an area. I will trust in my parenting skills to > stop my kids going off the rails (or to bring them > back when they do); not the right primary school. Ratty - same here, where I grew up it was just one choice. However, there was no anxiety about whether you'd get a place at that school! That's what worries me here - would be happy with any of the ED schools, just worry we won't get a place at one. I agree parenting skills play a massive part too.

pretty sure jb is closed on sundays

Yes, am not particularly keen on free schools myself, was just responding to the 'support your local school' suggestion. Edited to add - regardless of whether I agree with free schools or the co-ed Harris suggestion (personally prefer the latter), I do applaud parents who are looking for solutions.

In fairness, getting behind your local secondary school is fine: if you've been allocated a place at it. If you've been allocated one some distance a way, it makes no difference how much you support the 'local' option. I think that's what Mark has been getting at - the perceived gap in provision. From what I've read, most of the dissatisfied parents on the forum are so because they're getting given places which are too far away - not local at all.

I would say try not to worry - the dentist will give you an answer and help either way. Don't feel guilty - all the things you're giving her are for good reasons, god I give my son cartons just to buy peace so I really wouldn't feel bad about giving her OJ for the calcium, partic given her milk/soya allergy. One thing if you want to get her into water - I've found the bottles with the sports cap (you get specific kids ones, think they're 220 mls or so) go down really well, and now my son asks for water over juice sometimes.

Happy Mothers Day forum. Having just posted on the teething/virus thread, it struck me how quite a few of us mums are in with our little ones tonight, worrying about things like viruses and sleep, and swapping tips/advice (dads too but you'll get your day in June!). A few years ago my Saturday night would have looked quite different. But am feeling a swell of pride about motherhood (blame the hormones, def no drink involved at the moment!). So hope everyone gets some well deserved rest/indulgence/home-made cards to be treasured tomorrow xxx

That is v useful Buggie, thanks. I've never had any compunction about using either (or both when advised by GP), but had not realised that you should leave well alone if child seems happy. As it is, we've only ever had miserable and feverish, so not experienced that yet, but good to know for the future.

But ryedalema, a nutritionist told me about the 70/30 (or is it 80/20?) rule - be good 70% f the time. i couldn't live without occasional treats, and def never want to have a massively denialist diet, so I quite like this ratio! Plus Jack's food is soooo good I can't believe it's unhealty :) Creme eggs - the other day I couldn't find individual ones in Co-op so bought an easter egg version, intending to have one creme egg in the day and share some of the chocolate egg with husband at night. But ended up having second creme egg that evening (2 in one day - surely a v bad thing) and most of the chocolate egg too...it's so weird because on paper creme eggs sound disgusting. Now am craving...

me too fuschia! I was doing quite well before I got preggers! A few things I did do which I found made a difference are below - but the main thing I'd say is that I was doing all this for a few months before I noticed much difference in how I felt/looked. But then it really did make a difference and I felt much better, and it's amazing how habit forming it can be. So, the little things I did; - switched from toast/cheerios to granola with chopped banana for breakfast. this seemed to remove the urge for a mid morning snack of toast/croissant/muffin w hich I used to get post baby - switched from squash to water - prob not a big deal but felt virtuous! - took daily fish oil supplements - really for my eczema but think has general benefits too - stopped having seconds (unless I was really hungry) - suddenly realised I was doing this out of habit and because my husband makes massive portions. To that end also started having more meals e.g. salmon fillets where you can't have seconds as opposed to massive lasagnes! - stopped having chocolate/pudding as an 'automatic' post dinner treat except at weekends - stopped crisps etc before meals - cut back on wine (but not v much!) - still had lunch with my son but stopped pecking at his leftover tea or having toast etc when he had his tea - got more fruit in and nuts so I could snack on those - was told it's good to have them together, something to do with nuts being slower release energy - bought in carrots and hummous to have as a snack if i did get peckish eg during son's nap Hmm - looking at this I realise none of it's rocket science but as someone above said, wanted to provide some encouragement. I wasn't overweight before, just wasn't quite myself and felt sluggish etc, so as some others have also said this was more a healthy living thing really. Of course now I'm pregnant it's all gone a bit haywire...creme eggs my particular downfall!

Were your kids different ages Pasta? Just wondering if a side by side would be imbalanced with 2 kids of diff ages. Do love the look of the nipper t hough!

westof Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Mark Dodds Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > > PART of the three hour discussion on Monday > night > > was about languages. Mandarin was being pushed > > along with Arabic. Latin was not part of the > mix > > really, other than Toby Young's obsession with > > it. > > Mandarin, Arabic & Latin would ALL be progressive > languages to offer in an inner-city comprehensive > IMO. (as well as European languages). > > If you go on to study law, medicine, sciences etc > surely having done even a bit of Latin at school > would stand you in good stead. (I say this having > not studied Latin, or law, medicine or science so > feel free to put me right). > > And (cynically) if you really want to attract > enough middle class kids (to get a balance NOT to > swamp the school) then "we offer Latin" is handy > shorthand for "we can be the right school for your > child". You're right about Latin, and it has many more benefits - excellent foundation for learning many European languages, good skills for grasping language learning at all, helps with understanding the English language in fact and application/meaning of many of our words. It's a good disclipine in logic because of the way it's structured. People don't realise that learning Latin isn't just 'learning a dead language', it's history, art, cultural/civilisation studies, architectural history, literature (e.g. if you've studied the Aeneid you're well placed for handling Dante and Milton). Before I get jumped on, I want to stress that I'm not arguing that it's essential to the curriculum, like most people I'd happily see it as an 'extra' especially in circumstances where beggars can't be choosers. But I just worry that arguments that it's useless/unnecessary could just as easily be applied to a variety of arts subjects, and then we go down the road where e.g. art is not seen as important to the curriculum. At one point in Scotland a few years back (under the last Tory administration), primary school art was under threat for this very reason. Surely the word education covers more than just vocational/practical training.

It was Apenn - if you search under 'activity schedule', it should come up. Lots to do for babies that age and friendly mums/nannies/minders around!

Very helpful feedback, thanks all. I think I'll see how we go over the spring/summer but initially stick to the buggy board/sling options, and then can always invest in a double if I'm finding a real need for it once the baby is here. Thing is I can't see myself pushing two kids in a double for any great distance, so not sure would get the use out of it. He's not quite ready yet, but am thinking of introducing a star chart at some point so will maybe include a line for holding my hand when out walking or something.

I have a feeling she is retiring? Or was that the other lady from the Xmas special? I do find her lovely, v old school but in a nice way. Obviously before it all got emotional for the Italian couple I was thinking 'blimey' with the way the husband was talking about his mum - eek, just as well they all get on well!

Haven't tried them myself but Boden do a lovely range with removable pads which look good. Also agree with Ruth that sometimes best swimsuits are in places like John Lewis (the good ones are pretty dear but worth it)/Selfridges lingerie depts. Boden do tankinis which depending on how long your body is can be more flattering than one pieces - more movement so the pads/moulded cups don't move downwards.

Same here. Gosh they really socked it to us for the finale didn't they?! Can't believe it was 5 months before they got Will home, obv wonderful that they did but how hard that must have been for them.

We do have a car but I'm a v nervous driver (esp in London) - but given second baby I know i have to tackle that, so am planning refresher lessons to boost my confidence. I do walk a lot but not long walks as toddler complains about being in buggy after 15 mins or so. Pickle - thankyou :) - due end of Sept but already showing quite a bit, as my mum helpfully pointed out 'all your muscles are much looser now'. Hmm, yes...

Realise the main answer to this is probably 'wait and see' as I don't need to do anything for six months, but curious to know others' experiences with a similar age gap. My thinking at the moment is to try to get by with a combo of maclaren and sling/lie-flat pram (had for first baby) and buggy board. I'm hoping those two configurations can cover most situations. Am I being a bit naive though? At the moment - though this may change - there is no way son will hold my hand/buggy when walking along the street, so for most trips out the buggy is still essential, though not something he complies with happily. He's more than capable of walking everywhere, just v unruly. Naps are on their way out so having somewhere he can sleep when out and about less important now. Am reluctant to invest even in a second hand phil and teds as it's a big expense for possibly not a lot of use. Had half though might get a second hand double maclaren for situations where it's essential to have the two in a buggy. Anyone with a similar gap able to advise?