Belle

Hah - we've never had to do that until last night - staying with my mum in BALTIC Scotland! To be honest not sure will do tonight, was just the initial shock! I definitely want some of those fleecy sleepsuits - though don't remember what we did last year, as def didn't have them. Think our wee one's room is quite warm generally.

oh, reminds me of the heartbreaking letters ruth picardie wrote to her children, that are included at the end of Before I say Goodbye. I read it before I had kids - not sure I could read it again now.

I think the fact you have a direct comparison - i.e. the easy way he's settled into two preschools - tells you everything you need to know. Agree with the above poster about being wary of further change, but it's pretty telling that he seems to be getting worse rather than better, and it's affecting his behaviour. I remember your posts well as I also have a spirited little boy (quite a bit younger though) - and can sympathise. I think though (from my experience of just one!) that with so-called spirited children, they are an open book, so I would listen to what he is telling you. I really feel for you as it must be v tricky - you do hear so often that for children it is a battle to begin with, but they eventually settle in - but the way you describe your situation sounds different to that. Would it be worth taking a leave of absence at work (esp given what you say re work situation) while you sort out alternative childcare?

Guising in Scotland - yes! That's what we did, though Nunhead Mum I've never heard that rhyme - it's very sweet. We all learnt poems/songs, and dressed up. We also did carol singing, and the rule was that at Halloween we got to keep the treats (and the odd 20p that got thrown in) but the donations at carolling were for charity. I really loved both, and think it's a nicer exchange than the idea of trick or treat. This will be our third halloween on our street and so far no 'guisers' or trick or treaters.

Hi - not much help but I've seen one of the ones with the static seat (so not quite what you're after) around East Dulwich, so there is one out there!

That's so true re fathers and the way it changes things for them - definitely see a difference in the way my husband and son interact now, of course he was a fond dad before, but it's a new dynamic now. V interesting.

Hmm, my son also nearly 21 months but a different story, I wouldn't say 'fun'... of course there are lovely moments, but I'm finding this stage quite trying - big enough to remember things like the ice cream van sells nice tasting stuff (so stands next to it saying 'PEASE'), too young to understand logic ('no it's nearly tea time so you can't have an ice cream today' is understandably not cutting it). Has quite a few words but no sentences, or not really 'seeeeeyoooo' or 'oohdear' is about as close as it gets. Doesn't understand me saying 'if you keep throwing those egg noodles which are ridiculously hard to scrape off the floor you won't get any pudding'. DOES remember what a lollipop is after having one recently. I know people talk about the terrible twos, and I'm not naive enough to think things will get easier, but what I do look forward to is the communication getting better - so that at least he will understand and respond to me reasonably well, even if he doesn't do what he's told! From what I hear (anecdotally of courses) girls are often more advanced with language and other development?

No way - that's Dave Lamb? I love him on Come Dine With Me. Pity he doesn't do some of his sarcastic comments on Big Barn Farm, would liven it up for bored parents.

hah - Ruth, until I went to university I thought dahl was something you could slice into wedges, because that's how my mum made it, bless her! She now denies this of course as we're both more worldly these days...

we're looking at the moment and have noticed far more reduced asking prices in the last month or two than we've seen before. Plus, it's always interesting to look on www.houseprices.co.uk as you can see the actual price the house sold for, there are some suprising (and for us, encouraging) figures there.

Sorry, cross-posted!

John Lewis on Oxford Street is good for this kind of thing. I took my son at about 3 months for lunch at Waterstones on Picadilly - restaurant itself quite posh, but there was a baby change bit lower on another floor which I remember being a decent sized room, poss with a chair though it's a long time ago now. Also mamas and papas on regent's street is of course v well equipped. Haven't been into F&M with my son so couldn't say on that one.

I wrote a letter - it was cathartic, but took me 7/8 months I think to work up to it! I got a very good response - an unreserved apology and each point addressed. They'd taken real care to speak to everyone involved with looking after me. They said lots had been done to improve their service since. Must say the letters made me feel a lot better! I did also encounter a couple of lovely midwives obviously, and I did point that out in my letter - don't want to seem totally one sided here!

Kes - your story could have been written by me (though think I'd put it less articulately!) - I too was told off for crying after almost a week without sleep! Like you and the original poster, I still bear the scars of that postnatal stay, to the point that when considering if/when to have another baby, I basically end up trying to work out how we could ever afford to go private. not for the birth, which I felt the NHS did a fabulous job with, but the post natal bit. Hmm, will this new unit at King's be for labour or post natal too, does anyone know? I do take encouragement from what an earlier poster said about it not being so intense with subsequent babies. But it's sad to feel it isn't an uncomplicated decision.

can understand that - on the odd occasion I've been in a rush and needed to dash across, I admit I do feel bad if I notice kids around, like I'm basically exemplyifing 'do as I say, not as I do' - am generally more cautious these days since having a kid though.

I find my son is v fickle where telly is concerned - one minute Waybuloo is all the rage, the next he's indifferent. Tends to love the theme tunes more than anything else. Is anyone else's kid scared of the Numberjacks though (Or more specificaly, the baddies in the numberjacks? some of them ARE quite scary, the numbertaker anyone??). My little boy starts chanting 'oh NO, oh NOOOOOO' the minute those crazy numbers go awry.

hah Pickle - I've wondered about that accent too! That grub thing really freaks me out.

Gussy, if you're looking at the sling option you could try the patapum? it's the cheaper version of the ergo but pretty similar and better on the back than some other slings, costs about ?35 and is for 5 months and up so might suit your baby. I do sympathise as at 20 mths my little boy is now a rubbish buggy sleeper which means on days out he'll have 30 mins max, making the day quite hard work as it wears on. Would he sleep any better if he was on the top bit?

new mother Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Totally agree v personal decision and not for > anyone to judge. > > BUT.the problem then becomes ...once people > subsidise others, they DO feel they have a right > to judge. > > To take an extreme example, it does rile me to > think I am paying for massive families to lvie in > massive houses in central London that I personally > cannot afford to live in on my post mega tax, > minimal income! But New Mother, you were saying earlier in the thread that your income is impacted mainly by the cost of private schooling (and that child benefit helps with this)? So not really fair to complain of minimal income in the context of people here whose kids are in state school, and who rely on child benefit.

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > There was a time when a kindly bystander could > quickly quell a tempestuous child with a friendly > smile and a few calming words - the intervention > often worked wonders. > > But who in their right mind would dare to engage > with a stranger's child theses days? Actually, I'm constantly amazed by (and very grateful to) the amount of attention strangers pay my toddler, it really makes such a difference on those fraught journeys. Today I had to do a train + tube journey to a hospital appt for my son and back, a usually stressful outing. But today it was eased enormously by the many different people travelling who took a few minutes to smile back at my son and say hello. Not saying people should feel they have to do this! But it does really still happen, and it's much appreciated. As to those times when he kicks off, which are frequent, well I'm sure if any mum knew of a way to prevent that or some magic button that would calm the child down, we'd all be doing it.

Yes, it's fine - my first bus trip was the 37 to Herne Hill actually, when I was using a proper pram rather than a maclaren, and was fine. You do on occasion have to wait for a bus that isn't already full of buggies/prams, but that's the same with any bus, and I've never had a major wait. My tip would be to go on front-ways but off backwards if that makes sense!

My son (now 20mths) has been like this for a long time, and I received some great support and solidarity through this forum on it - made me feel much better to know I wasn't the only one with a 'determined' or 'spirited' child. We're currently wrestling with more tantrums. Looking back I think that at 9/10/11 mths it was him being frustrated as he didn't understand what was going on all the time, and now at 18/19/20 months it's not that he doesn't understand - he does - it's that he can't always communicate what he wants. I read some great advice on this kind of thing on the Babycentre birth club for the month my son was born, worth checking out your individual ones as it's always SOO reassuring to see that by flicking through the posts there's usually at least one pertaining to whatever you're going through with your child.

Smoothies always work with my son or a treat like diluted apple juice when he's ill. Does she have a temperature too?

Gubodge Wrote: > > My concern is that no thought (Ha! There's a > surprise.) has been given to Home Responsibilites > Protection. Will stay-at-home partners of higher > rate tax payers still have a way of claiming this, > even if they no longer qualify for Chb. Mr Barber? What is HRP? I've never heard of it before.

mummynegin Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > new mother - as I said I pay this cleaner ?10 an > hour (all of which she keeps) plus I normally > leave a a ?5 tip every other week. I paid my > previous cleaner ?9 an hour (all of which she > kept). Do people tip cleaners? I am constantly confused by tipping etiquette to be honest - is this common practice?? I was thinking a nice present or bonus at Christmas but it hadn't occurred to me to tip throughout the year. Yikes. Totally agree with you re the pros and cons of agency. We've gone for something which is halfway between the two - I can PM you details if you want.