gillandjoe

R & A wrote: "gillandjoe Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I wonder why you are so set against breastfeeding, > buttercup? Is there a reason? Just interested! What makes you think the OP is set against bf??? She says she wants to bf in her post and asks a practical question about taking forumla into hospital Pls don't try and turn this thread into an attack on another mother's choice, whatever that may be That may not be your intention - but saying 'set against bf' sounds like you're picking a fight" Actually, I was just curious as buttercup did say she had no intention of breastfeeding past the first few days. It seems an uncommon viewpoint in an expectant mother and I was wondering if there was an interesting reason for it. Maybe you should read back, R&A, and get the full picture before you start accusing me of picking a fight. Completely and utterly ridiculous post from you, I must say. If I want to pick a fight with someone now, it will be you, not Buttercup.

I wonder why you are so set against breastfeeding, buttercup? Is there a reason? Just interested!

I think picking your battles is the most important thing. The worst thing is if your voice becomes nagging background noise to your child. I think you should only pull them up on necessary things and then you make sure your child does not ignore you. I think you should avoid using a pleading voice because a child immediately recognizes weakness in that voice. Be firm and believe yourself when you say it. It works in classrooms for me but my baby isn't a toddler yet and i have to say I'm bloody dreading it. Good luck!

"Just to be sure I understand you - are you saying that "arks" and "we was" are correct English (in this area, at least), and that to suggest otherwise is racist/classist? If so, I disagree, and if my child said "we was" I would correct them." Ha! 'correct English'=can of worms I think that it does border on racist to say that 'Afro-Carribbean' verbal idiocyncrasies are not good enough for you or your child. Feel free to correct your child's manner of speaking in any way you choose - I just don't think its right to come on a local forum complaining of 'local' dialect infecting your children - making the ssumption that no one on the forum speaks in the way you are so distasteful of. Can you not sniff some East Dulwich snobbery in that? 'Oh, its so funny how Afro-Carribean people and local teenagers can't say ask properly. I find it so annoying, don't you?'

I am new to this thread and have just read it from start to finish... All the grammar stuff is very enlightening however, I would like to say that I find it very disturbing that the thinly veiled racist/classist comments about 'aks' and 'we was' have been allowed to continue unchecked. If you are too good for an area's regional verbal quirks then maybe its time you moved to an area that would satisfy your narrow-minded ideas about correctness. And as for the comments about nursery costing so much that all nursery workers should speak 'properly' - umm, do you think that nursery workers tend to be degree toting individuals? If you don't like the way the help speak to your children then perhaps you should take care of them yourselves? I seriously doubt that a teacher (who, by the way, only did one postgrad year to become a primary school teacher with an undergraduate degree in ANY subject - not necessarily an expert in English grammar!!) who made one mistake marking one piece work in one pupil's book for one subject warrants the outrage in this thread. I guess none of you make mistakes, grammatical or otherwise?! Feel free to respond to this tirade, I love a good argument.

my solution: I clean rarely!

I'd like to know more too :)

'Fat is a Feminist Issue' is worth a read I think. I read it in my early twenties at just the right time and it made a huge impact on me. Having dabbled in anorexic and exercise mad behaviour since I was 12 ish, the book basically snapped me out of some pretty damaging behaviour. I think it would be a good read for parents to become more conscious. I have a boy but still aim to keep him away from ladies' magazines ('Look how fast Beyonce lost her baby weight!')and he doesnt watch any telly with adverts. I nannied for a woman who would leave all of her magazines, with all their disgusting misogyny, lying around for her children to soak up like sponges! I'm off now to the garden to burn my bra!!

I agree with everything stated so far and would also like to add an ungrateful gripe about being given stuffed animal toys as gifts - what exactly is a baby supposed to do with them?! I'm anti plastic toys for green reasons too but also because when I was a little girl I absolutely loved the weight and feel of metal and wood objects - they felt magical and important. I think it may be good to limit the amount of toys and instead encourage imaginative play with adult objects. Not sure about this though in safety/practicality terms of course!

Hello all, Just to say that there is no bumps and babes at goose green hall tomorrow (06/08), but it is back on next week. See you all soon hopefully :)

Good luck Ellie, you will find your way of coping with it and the main thing is that you sound like you really care about doing whats best for you and your baby. The best advice I was given from a mother of four was to 'go with the flow'. I thought it was a bit silly and didn't understand what she meant until I'd driven myself half crazy comparing my baby to other's and expecting him to nap/eat etc when I thought he should. Finally, it clicked! - It doesn't matter what happens when or how as long as you and your baby are having a loving time with each other. I am so much happier now that I don't expect certain things from him or for it all to magically get easier. Just have faith that your body and mind will adjust to its new requirements. It took me to about 7 months before I started to cope with the exhaustion - but I have finally adjusted. Sorry if this is all useless information! All the best xx

Does your baby nurse to sleep, Ellie? For the first three months I put 3 pillows behind me and then nursed my baby to sleep and then we both slept in that position - so he was quite upright, which is good if a baby has reflux or wind. He naturally transitioned to wanting to sleep next to me on his side and back at about 3 months. Also, co-sleeping at first is easier if daddy sleeps in a spare bed and lets you and the baby have all the room for nursing and repositioning. Not very romantic but definitely helped everyone get more sleep. I found my partner was ready to take over early in the morning if he'd had a few undisturbed hours sleep on his own. I hate to say it, but I think if you can find a way to make it through without a night nanny you will be so proud of yourself and you will look back on the first weeks as this precious, private time as a family where you really tested your strength. Saying that, my exhaustion pushed me to mild PND and it was really really hard for a while but I am so proud of myself, my partner and my amazing baby! Parenthood is mental!

What about nap dropping? Maybe your baby is getting is getting ready to drop their third nap? I remember feeling super-tired at 6 months and almost gave formula but just hung in there in the end with breastfeedinv and my body finally started to adjust to it's wretched new sleep pattern. My baby still sucks at sleeping but co-sleeping is helping because I feed him without fully waking - to the point where I can't even remember how many times I've fed him in a night. Maybe your baby would sleep longer in bed with you after the morning feed? Good luck!

PS Im not condoning benefit fraud by the way!

It just seems like a lose lose situation in this country at the moment. I know a fair few couples that lie about being in a couple so that they can get benefits only available to single mums because trying to live on the fathers salary alone would be nearly impossible. Seems like a ridiculous situation to be in - childcare and rents are SO expensive!

i tend to 'post now, think later' so might be best to ignore my comments! bye for now

'i don't feel that the government offers enough support to SAHMs.' or childcare should be a lot cheaper than it is.

i was ranting innaccurately - please forgive me! i just meant that there are subsidies and free nursery places available to some (single mums/low income families etc) and full-time work available to all (yeah right!) to pay for nursery places/nannies etc. Childcare is so expensive! but it seems very 'unprofitable' to take care of your own children - i don't feel that the government offers enough support to SAHMs. I realise I am digressing from the topic and probably not making sense - my debating skills are not up to scratch!!

My best friend is a nanny and has just been working as a night nanny on a temporary basis. She begged the mum to hi her two weeks notice before ending her employment but this weekend she received a text from the father saying she was no longer needed as of now! Shocking! As if nannying were something you did for fun! What gets me going though is that we have expensive state subsidized childcare available to working mums but if a mum stays home with her kids she is expected to survive on a fraction of the cost that she would pay to someone else to take care of her children. So is being a stay at home mum less of a career than a childminder? Grrrrr

CSS, your post made me laugh out loud! :) x

You shouldn't worry EmmaCC, as a former teacher I am physically unable to say nothing if confronted with rudeness from a teenager. I probably would have thrown their ball into the road or something! We should all start one of those 'Mums against ...' groups but I have a feeling that people might laugh at us xx

We've all seen it at some point - a stressed out mum losing her cool in public. Unfortunately, today it was me. A woman allowed her two dogs into the dog-free area for children in my local park. I wasn't going to say anything BUT one of the dogs then pooed and the woman made no attempt to pick it up and was extremely rude and aggressive when I asked her to. Next thing I knew we were both shouting at each other, she threatened to beat me up if it wasn't for my baby (thanks Joe!), I called her an uncivilised savage (I'm ashamed to say) and she, bizarrely, told me my husband is f***ing his secretary! Well, I'm not married, my partner doesn't have a secretary and DOGS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO POO IN THE CHILDREN'S AREA! So there! Anyway, I have spent the rest of the day feeling like an idiot. Anyone else have any funny stories like this to cheer me up?!

Oops, sorry for moaning! I was having a break from Sleep negotiations when I read this so wasn't in a good frame of mind. Good luck tonight, goodnight!

I have to say that it seems amazing to me and probably those in the same boat as me when I hear parents complain about a baby that has slept through for months and then begins feeding once in the night or waking early. Try feeding at least 3 times a night from birth (he is nine months old) plus frequent early wakings, 2 hour periods of wakefulness in the night and refusal to go to sleep after the 'magical' bedtime routine has been in place for months. Count your lucky stars!!

I'm up for this! xx