canela

friendships do change as you have kids, but you will make new friends too. most people without kids can't imagine what it is like to have them - how could they? and as kids grow up and you have more of them they will take up more and more of your time. i find that nowadays i meet up with my old pre-kid friends a couple of times a year - and we have to organise that ages in advance as everyone has kids, partners, work etc to juggle! it's not loads but when we do meet up we often have a sleepover at someone's house, take the weekend off, leave the kids at home, and have a ball! then I have made a lot of new friends who also have kids and who, crucially, have kids of around the same age that my kids like to play with. i went through a stage when i didn't know a whole lot of people, and I had to throw myself into all kinds of clubs etc before I met some people I clicked with. most other mums are really sociable - basically, if your kids get on then you are practically friends already! also be aware that some of your friends might be wanting to start a family and might be finding it tough. i know several of my close friends found it difficult to see friends who already had babies when they were trying and having problems. there might be things going on that you don't know about.

Besame Mucho by Carlos Gonzalez. not sure what the English translation is but know it exists. if you google the name in spanish and put "in English" you should get a link. a lovely book with a really interesting discussion of parenting styles through the ages

We all have different work and school routines throughout the week so we don't always eat together - but we do at the weekend and that helps to make saturday and sunday special meals. i only cook one thing, sometimes more adult focussed, sometimes more kid focussed. often it's slightly different versions of the same thing so it's simple for kids and more interesting for adults without a whole lot of extra cooking. so an omelette and raw veg sticks for the kids becomes a frittata for the adults. you can also make homemade versions of "kiddie" food - like breaded fishcakes, or home-made burgers or meatballs, even roast new potatoes as a homemade version of chips. I just tell my kids they are lucky it is burger and chips tonight and they are happy. firm weekly favourites in our house are lentil soup, mixed bean stew with rice, and spaghetti bolognese. there are a few things they both don't like (cous cous? for some reason) so I don't make them as they eat so many other things. sometimes the little one doesn't eat very much, but the (gentle) rule is that you try something new. If you really don't like it, you can have brown bread and butter...and this has got me through occasional bouts of fussiness. My rule of thumb is that we only have healthy food in the house, so that then whatever they eat is going to be ok. We leave the biscuits and ice-cream for when we are out and about or if we have visitors (also because I would just eat them all....) good luck!

I have a cousin and a couple of friends with a 12 month gap between children! they both managed fine - like Pickle said, lots of playgroups and quite a bit of routine. though if you can afford it, I'm sure a cleaner would be a godsend!

I went to wedding in Spain with 2 month old. Just wore a normal dress with little straps that I could pull down easily, and took a shawl to cover up with whilst feeding.

if she has a waiting list of a year then it seems unlikely she will lower her prices. if everyone stays with her despite this then maybe she really is worth it. but i think there are loads of excellent childminders in east dulwich who charge less....the choice is yours...

The National Maritime Museum is a firm favourite. Can get there from Lewisham station on DLR, the museum has a whole kids floor, is right next to park, plus can wander by the river and see the boats. Take a picnic and day is free except for transport.

don't think of it as a fast - it's just skipping breakfast really. have a big meal the night before and you will be fine.

Sorry to hijack thread - Sillywoman, could you recommend the particular course that your daughter did? A close family member is considering doing just that but there seem so many out there it is difficult to choose which one to go for.

most chemists sell them

the only thing that used to make my newborn no2 cry was going into her big brother's bedroom for bedtime. For a while I tried to read his story whilst standing up and rocking her, before I felt enough was enough. Change of tactic - we all got into my big bed together, he would watch a nature programme or something calm whilst I gave her the nighttime feed and she would fall asleep. Then I would turn off telly and tell my son a story. Then he would roll over and go to sleep next to me, and then I'd pop both in their beds. Bedtime stopped being a time of real stress and anxiety to something pleasurable, and I also enjoyed a moment to put my feet up before starting on the evening chores.

i also really enjoy it, but my husband finds it tiring. i think you have to try and find a way of co-sleeping (if that's what you want to do) that allows everyone to get a good nights sleep as well. personally i find i can sleep 4 in a bed no probs, in fact i love it, but hubby can't and so he was getting tired and it wasn't fair on him. so now the kids go to sleep on a mattress on the floor in their room, and if they wake up and come pattering in to ours I'll go back into their room with them. as they get older this has got later and later until now is more or less the early morning. i don't resent it at all, and i just fall straight back to sleep with them so i'm not tired. i suppose what i'm saying is, if you want to carry on co-sleeping you might want to find a way of tweaking the arrangements to make it work for you. could you put a cot mattress on the floor next to your bed? is it your husband who doesn't want to be bed-hopping every night anymore?

crossing my fingers someone will be able to answer this as we are in the same situation! i've used the one you leave on for 15 minutes, left it on for an hour, and i still see them wiggling, i.e. not dead! i have resolved to daily combing with the nit comb, plus the treatment now and again - but they never seem to go away for long. as soon as we are clean, someone comes to stay with nits or else they get them at school - is a complete nightmare! i've heard on the grapevine of a product called nitnots - will try it out and hope it works. otherwise feel i may be combing daily for the next 10 years! weird thing is, my husband never gets them....must have horrid tasting blood the lucky thing.

they do grow out of it, some quicker than others.... can you swap the cot for a single mattress on the floor? so that if she cries you go in to her rather than her coming in with you - so that she doesn't always associate your bed with comfort. you might find you have a while where you end up sleeping in her bed for half the night, but it is a step in the right direction.

you might find it's not that bad. Depends on the kid. My son has always loved any kind of journey even from a young age....and was so excited by being on a plane he would just and play quietly with buttons, look out of window etc. To the extent that I experienced the extremely novel sensation of being complemented by strangers on how well-behaved my child was!!!

you can probably also hire headsets to watch some telly on a 6 hour flight. well worth it!

I think there are quite a few threads on plane journeys that you could have a look at. best tip is to enjoy it - if you make it fun, your LO will hopefully love it too. good luck!

on the plus side...if I had been able to move house and area when I was a kid I would have loved it. Especially to the countryside. All depends on how fun you make it....

if you wait a bit longer you might find your eldest will be moving towards independence anyway - gap year, university, work etc? i think it depends a lot on the child. i moved school but not house for year 10 and i found it really difficult. but it was to a really big school. maybe primary is easier?

there are same-sex siblings with great relationships and with bad; and ditto for mixed-sex relationships. every family will find its own dynamic and when there is a firm basis of love and support this will guide through the inevitable ups and downs of any sibling relationship. you have identified that your feelings are coming from your own experience and are taking steps to deal with them. You sound like a great mother and I'm sure you will promote a loving family. I can understand your worries. I have a sister and we have such a great relationship, part of me wanted another boy for my eldest son as I just assumed same-sex siblings get on better. Perhaps they do, perhaps they don't, mine have had ups and downs but have some great fun and I can see the value the difference of the other brings to them.

Heber is a great school. We also live 5 mins walk away and it is lovely to be so close to friends for playdates etc. I think it's also really nice for the children as they start to have friends on the same street that go to the same school etc, and also start to feel part of a community. All school runs, pick-ups, playdates etc can be done on foot instead of car - and it's great in the morning to be so close by.

Around Oxford is lovely.

I think it depends on the car hire company. I've not been charged extra in Spain.

Have you looked around a bit? Whilst there are people that charge that much, you can get lovely childminders for a lot less. I've paid ?50 a day including meals. I think rules for sick pay and pretty much everything can differ so have a look around until you find something you feel comfortable with. There are also childminders who will offer something more ad hoc and flexible - if that is what you need.

or hire the headsets to have a silent disco in the local park?