canela

because everyone comes from different continents, school dates and jobs. we cannot find a date that would accommodate everyone's schedules completely so there has to be give and take by all. they will not be there at the weekend after all. this is the first meeting in 10 years and it could be 10 before another. it's about my children understanding their mixed family and cultural heritage, and knowing more about their place in the world. about knowing who their family is even if for various reasons we don't meet up often. for me that is more important than a couple more days phonics. it would be different for an older child, but in year 2 I see no real long-term educational issue. it would be different if it was every year, but this is the first time.

Does anyone have experience of asking for a few days off during term time, particularly at Heber? My child is year 2. We have an international family and a reunion of the kind that only happen every blue moon in Europe. Will be the first time my children meet some cousins etc. We can obviously just go for the weekend but seeing as the families live in all corners of the globe and it is a lot of effort to all be on the same continent it would be great to go for more than a few days. I don't have any reservations at taking a child out of school for a few days myself, especially aged 7, but I don't want to get them into trouble. Has anyone asked and got permission for this kind of thing?

i would second recommendation for thailand - is lovely with kids. however i have to say the best place i've ever gone with kids is rural Spain. obviously it's not such an adventure for the parents maybe, but southern spain is amazing and sooooo child oriented. think really depends on the heat - as i'm not great in it so Asia was amazing but sweaty. having said that - we are planning a trip to Malaysia in next few years to take advantage of an old uncle who lives there! my son - who had been to the 5 continents by the time he was 5 - asks me every morning when we can catch a plane and go on an adventure again. but my daughter likes nothing more than to potter at home. kids are different too. sounds like an amazing thing to do - keep us posted!

loads of nice smaller villages around the area if you prefer somewhere picturesque. otherwise i would suggest Reading as lots more going on, easy commute to both london and maidenhead.

sounds like an amazing opportunity. where are you thinking of going? we haven't done this, but we did do a 3 month stint to visit family in australia and asia with a 2 year old, and then another 3 month stint in south america with 3 year old. only thing i would recommend is that you don't overdo the actual "travelling" bit - depending on the child of course. We found it easier to go to one place and stay for a long while rather than be constantly on the move.

We're planning a big family get-together this July and I'm looking for cottage/house big enough to hold 3 families (2 adults, 2 kids), plus 2 additional adults. Somewhere easy to get to from London, and with a garden. Family coming from far-flung places so am anxious to show off England at its best!!! Any ideas on places? We want somewhere we can hang out mostly, but access to a couple of easy day trips would be good - of the pub/little village kind. This is the first time the kids have all met each other - all under 8 - and not sure how similar our parenting styles are. So I really want the place itself to be great and able to deal with a crowd!

It's about what feels best for both of you. I still nurse 3 year old to sleep, but if I'm not there or she's at my mum's for the weekend - then she manages perfectly well. i really don't get the point of giving up something that you both enjoy and that makes your baby go to sleep quickly.

my cousin and husband both teach at a private school. they have one son there and it doesn't seem to be a problem. it probably helps that they love the school. in fact they live in during term time. they have another son who doesn't go there yet as he is happy in his state primary school nearby so they see no need to move him. i wouldn't make the decision based on theory but on the choice between two specific schools - which do you like best and which do you think would be best for your kids?

my lovely mum is donating her old car, but I must admit I did enjoy being carless. is a bit of a hassle sometimes, but has its joys. i just prefer train journeys any day.

the third way? a happy medium? muddling along like most of us?

ok. thanks.

I loved being a SAHM but when husband got made redundant I had to step up to the mark. We can't afford to pay childcare so he does freelance work around preschool allowance and my hours. I do enjoy my days at work, but I just feel I come home tired and lacking in the necessary patience and energy to handle two small bundles of chaos. If I didn't have to work in the evenings I think it would be fine. However, I suppose if I did have a better paid job then I wouldn't be able to leave at 5 or 5:30 like I do now and get back for bedtime....

what do you mean you only pay for the time you use the car? i thought you paid by day, i.e. it would be 3 days hire for a friday evening - sunday evening trip?

mmm, pertinent question. was thinking today how difficult it is. i work full time, husband part-time, and what i hate is coming home and being tired and only trying to get the kids into bed as quickly as possible so that i can get on and do more work which I have to do in the evening. rather than be able to relax and enjoy my time with them. 5 days a week all i get is breakfasts and bedtimes - not that much time for fun. and when i'm not working then my husband has to take advantage and do some. i did take a long time off after 2 kids and it was so much harder than expected to get a job again afterwards. suppose partly to do with economic climate etc, plus my own naive young self that thought work was about making a positive difference to the world (charity sector) rather than being able to raise a family. i find it tough going

Hi all We have had to cancel holiday plans this year and so our holiday home in Tenerife is up for a last minute deal over the summer at 300 euros a week, or 500 for a fortnight. Sleeps six. Tenerife is amazing for kids and this is off the beaten track but close enough for lots of activities. PM me if you want my number to discuss. More info on http://www.spain-holiday.com/12925

can you go one adult with 2 kids aged 4 and 7 there? at east dulwich we got to the side of the pool before they told us we couldn?t?.

yes but if they go to bed later they wake up later! i much prefer summer time timings. chill evenings as no rush to get them in bed, we go to bed later anyhow, and no 5am starts!

All days are work days for me, and I always do the bedtime routine as soon as I get in. If I've had a trying day it can be hard to shake that off, but I find that a small glass of wine/cup of tea (depending on day...) as soon as I get in the door makes it a whole lot easier! It's that old parenting classic again - if you are in a good mood your kids are more likely to be in one too.

We tried Rocca in the end and it was great. Thanks for the recommendation. Excellent food at decent prices, and friendly waiting staff. Sure it will become a family favourite. would like to try Hisar though as that sounds good - where is it?

i find i don't really miss them until day 3. am I a bad mother?

cup of tea in bed in the morning....

two possible solutions: bring your daughter's cot into your room temporarily and start to get her used to sleeping in it, not in your bed. once she starts to do that without waking, put the cot back in the kids room. or put your daughter on a mattress on the floor in the kids' room so that if she cries and you go in with her, at least you get a good night's sleep too. or could you look at getting one of those 3-sided cots which attach to your bed. my sister swore by hers. it means your daughter would be close for you to comfort easily, but would not be actually sleeping in your bed.

all depends on your budget really. if you can fund them easily then pick one or two you really like. otherwise, there are so many freebies around. i think they are more useful in the winter obviously. and depends on the kid. my eldest always preferred just going to the park, but my youngest liked some group activities.

unless they are really sick you all need to get out for some fresh air. a quick wander round the park at non-busy times, or even just around the block, will make staying indoors easier.

I look at people with 3 with a twinge of envy and regret, as I love babies and being pregnant and even giving birth - as one poster said, why would you not want more little cuddly bodies around? However, we have decided to stick to 2 and I am fully behind our decision. Although we love it all, we have struggled these past years with a lot of non-child-related stress, plus the usual ups and downs of family life. Having been close to the bone a few times, I feel that a 3rd would break us as a couple and as a family. Sometimes you have to know when you're done and be extremely thankful for what you have - which we are. Congrats to all those with 3 and more, and to newly pregnants!