canela

Hi If you send an email or ring the number from the website they will get back to you. try again if had no response as they are pretty good. i think the elfin groups are pretty full up though.

it sounds as if you are worried about what might happen further down the line if you get worse. it's important to get your support set up now so that you know what you can do about things if that does happen - so really good that you are asking for help. i think pregnancy can be completely overwhelming - and more so if you have high levels of depression. i don't know what mine would be classified as I muddled through alone - but I do know that the first 3 months of both pregnancies were the worst time of my entire life. which is weird as i was also very happy to be pregnant. with first I was so afraid i could hardly leave the house, and with second everything was just black. what kept me going was just trust that it would pass, and it did, and just doing my regular routine without really questioning it. keeping a diary and getting out for a walk in the open air were also good. you don't mention the kind of support you have around you, but i hope you are able to reach out to people. be gentle on yourself.

you (we all!) need to be able to honestly assess your own situation and your own limits. you are important for you. you are also important because if you get sick/over-tired/depressed and just cannot go on, the repercussions are felt by everyone who depends on you. if you don't listen to your body and mind when they speak quietly, they will start to shout.... (from personal experience....)

it sounds like it was a terrible playdate and you feel the other mum did not deal well with her LO's behaviour. but sometimes kids need a few sessions before they work out the dynamic. i would be open to another one if your daughter is interested, maybe at your house. also bear in mind kids' behaviour is different when their parents are there and sometimes it is better to let them work it out alone. keep playdates short and really fun, i.e. special food for tea etc. there is no magic number - you know your daughter and it seems like maybe she will want more than you do. remember that at this age they are really learning about how to be with other people, and even difficult experiences will be part of this. try not to get too fixated if your child had a bad time, as she will probably forget about it a lot quicker than you do! having said that, i vetoed one playdate relationship - and that was mostly due to the mother. the kids would argue a bit - which i would take to be part and parcel of life - but she would want to analyse every exchange, and of course it was never her LO's fault... then when my LO started coming home from school crying at things that had been said etc, I just withdrew. no honesty-lite or anything, just politeness and white lies as excuses until it petered out. good luck!

babies are completely different and no one should ask you to leave a new born. she will understand one day if she has kids but for the moment it must be upsetting.

i think it's just a cost one if you're getting married at a venue with a sit-down meal etc. all the venues charge pretty much the same for kids as they do for adults....so that means if you're getting married on a budget then you either invite just a small group of people with kids, or a larger group without. personally, i got married in a barn and more the merrier, but some people like something a bit more formal and it does get very expensive.

both are lovely schools so i'd choose more based on your convenience, i.e. which is nearer. mine are at heber and it's great. friends are at goodrich and also really rate it.

heavy can be good.....feel thread is yet to find its razon d'?tre......maybe everyone in a good mood and not up for a ruck...spring is in the air, etc

how about everyone shares their absolute worst parenting moment.....

Well, something has been bugging me for a while.... Question: Why is British society so not child-friendly? And I'm not talking about whether or note there is a baby change facility. I'm talking about the general vibe that children are "tolerated" if they sit still and behave, but not cherished unless they are your own. Now, I'm not one in favour of kids running riot in cafes either - which means that usually I don't take my kids anywhere other than the park, the woods etc. But just now and again we do have to venture out into society. So last weekend I had to go to return a skirt to a shop in ED (can't go during the week as working, and hubby works weekends, so they had to come). So, whilst I don't approve of dragging bored kids round shops, it should have taken 10 minutes and we would go to the swings on the way back. Cue extremely unfriendly, disapproving shop assistant, looking down her nose at hassled mother trying on a new skirt whilst trying also to keep kids from mucking about...and pretty much failing on all fronts. I left the shop almost in tears and vowing never ever again! now, maybe I am just a sensitive soul, but it struck me as I trudged home that in other places in the world (I'm thinking of Spain, where mr canela is from and where I had little ones, and other Latin countries I've been to) that shop assistant would have smiled at the kids, and most likely talked and engaged them so that I could try that bloomin' skirt on! and she would have smiled at me too. that's one little example, but every parent has their own story. not to mention all the posts on the EDF - my particular favourite being the people complaining about school children singing on the top of the bus in the morning! so, yes, i usually keep my kids far and away from where they might cause offence. but my point is that surely it is sad that children are so unwelcome everywhere... that controversial enough Otta?

that happened to my sister. her little one was 20 months and wanting to BF constantly day and night, and suddenly she just couldn't go on. she was so tired, and the tiredness was taking its toll on the whole family. in the end she weaned him to a bottle - which i know is what you're not meant to do, but it gave her the break she so desperately needed. he didn't seem to really notice to be honest. just wanted lots of milk in whatever form. then when she had her strength back she weaned him off the bottle, and onto more solids. like with previous poster, she had wanted to continue BF for longer, but realised she was at the end of her tether. not saying that is what you should do tho. just that every situation is different, and sometimes we all try to be super mum.

mmmmm, when we decided to stop night feeds mr canela used to tell our still BF 3 year old that mummy was out working. if she thought i wasn't there she wouldn't bother waking. can you plan a month of her favourite foods during the day so she doesn't feed so much? it sounds like BF in general is taking its toll. As a long-time BF-er I know this feeling so well! Did you feed your others until they were two? Are you anaemic or anything? Sounds like with 3 kids, BFing, night waking and working you have an awful lot on your plate! make sure you take care of yourself too!

i second that.

i think they have to learn what is acceptable behaviour in social settings, school etc, but i also do think that if a child has a lot of anger you have to help them find a way to let it out rather than conveying the message that it is a bad emotion. bottled up anger will only find a way out someplace else. with my v angry 4 year old, i was really strict with myself at not placing him in situations that i knew he would find difficult, i.e. always choosing a run in the park over meeting some friends in a cafe, and i made sure he had LOTS of exercise, and did as many things that i could that i knew were calming for him - that in his case was always being outside on his own, i.e. going to pick leaves, watch the ducks etc. it was pretty obvious in his case that what was difficult were situations with other children, and that his process of socialisation was slow and difficult - and this made him angry, which made him aggressive, which meant he didn't do well in social settings, and it was a terrible circle. the thing that got me through was both his nursery teacher and a few friends assuring me that they had seen all this before, and just to have clear boundaries (i.e. if you hit someone we will go home) with lots of patience. remember, they don't want to be angry and so just telling them not to be isn't that effective. 2 years on i have a very happy 6 year old. he can still be hot tempered but to be honest we are all like that in our family. the other day i apologised to him for losing my rag and he said "don't worry mum, i understand. it's like when the words are bursting to come out of your mouth and no matter how much you want to you just can't stop them". nail on the head really. he's very well behaved at school and when he goes to his grandparents, so i give him slack for being grumpy at home sometimes. i'm just sharing this to give a light at the end of the tunnel. i SO know how it feels to have an angry child and it is very very challenging. it made me doubt everything i did as a mother, and i was very lucky to have some good friends who understood. plus my mother, having seen several children through this stage, was very relaxed. apparently i used to hold my breath until i fainted to get my own way.....

might be a tad controversial, but at a LaLecheLeague group I used to go to, they said the only things proven to improve milk supply (apart from the drugs mentioned above which do boost supply as a side effect to something else) were beer and sparkling wine. obv not to drink a lot - but a glass a day was recommended... i took them up on it - not sure if it had any effect but it made me not stress about it anyway! would agree with all the other points about general wellbeing, food, tea, liquids etc.

oopsithinkthatwasme - don't worry, they do grow out of it. i had a v angry 3 - 4 year old boy, some hitting, shoe throwing, general screaming. i was mostly patient and sometimes angry back. said no to hitting but lots and lots of play fights and tickling worked well. removed myself if getting annoyed. thought it would never end. it did.

mmmm, I know this only too well. I can't really offer any magical solutions. When this happened to me I was in a situation where I had not much routine in my own life either so I could be quite flexible, and I could go to bed really late myself. I used the opportunity to have a little cat-nap myself, or at least some reading time or even a film in bed whilst little one fell asleep. no point in lying there feeling frustrated. i know this is slack parenting, but as i say i was in a situation where i could do this, i.e. I wasn't working and I was living overseas where everyone had siestas and the whole vibe was more chill. to be honest, i still do a little of this with youngest even though i am back at work. i get back just in time for bedtime, just in time to need a 30 min rest with a cup of tea or a little mini shut-eye, before i get up with my energies recouped for number 2. what do they say about lemons and lemonade? i do think that if you do the co-sleeping thing (which i also really enjoyed) it does make it harder to also try and have a routine. i failed and accepted that. but maybe others have done better than me???

i went to the physio, and they said if you can lift the weight comfortably with one arm then it is fine. otherwise, a no-no. that includes shopping, children and all the things of life as well as exercising....

In a hire car or taxi, the airport is only 15 minutes away from our place. It's true - it is a really good place for families. I think because you're guaranteed sun, but not tooooo much, the beaches are really easy with shallow water, and for the more adventurous there are plenty of places to explore - pine forests, volcanoes, whale watching etc.

we have had this problem on and off. 6 years now and only every now and then - so it does get better! our son said he got scared from the shadows, so we got a night light, and made the room as cosy as possible. he really wanted to stay in it, and got upset himself that he couldn't quite do it. i think it's worth finding out as much as possible why he doesn't want to sleep alone. my sis' little girl was really only doing it out of habit and the incentive of a sticker chart was perfect for her. because my son was actually scared, it took a bit more patience. we found the change came when his sister was a bit bigger and we let them share a bed rather than sleep in separate. no more night walking..... i'm hoping to wean him onto the cat.

i was told if you want to do some cardio/ fat-busting then fast swimming is the safest option. and to be really vigilant with doing the old pelvic floor exercises.

to be honest, i got so annoyed at her "this is all so easy-peasy, just like mummy used to say" attitude that I started to imagine other names for her initials.... i especially didn't like my newborn being classified as a "grumpy baby" according to her quick quiz on what kind of baby you have! might have loved her if he had been classified an "angel baby" though...

thank you!

I would really recommend checking out http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/may/28/carlos-gonzalez-doctor-parents-break-rules I read Besame Mucho (Kiss me!) - which is kind of the opposite scale to the BW. I guess most people kind position themselves somewhere in the middle where they feel comfortable - but whatever your standpoint the book is really interesting as it gives a history of childcare approaches and techniques, and almost presents them as fashions, obviously influenced by other thinking, science of the time etc. I found that really useful as most of the other books i read presented their particular theory as the be-all and end-all and completely non-negotiable.

i had a different experience. i tried to use but i got confused and conflict stressed. in the end my hobby threw it away and i was so relieved. maybe i was trying to follow to the letter too much . and feeling a failure when it didn't work like she said it should. whatever approach you choose, remember you are the best person to decide about your baby and find out what works for you.