canela

We have an adult birthday outing next week and looking for a place to have a nice meal but where kids (7 and 3) will enjoy themselves too. Not a cafe but not anywhere with posh glasses to knock over either! Walking distance around East Dulwich. Is there a decent Italian? Or anyone been to the Great Exhibition with kids? We usually go to the Plough as there is a nice outdoor space for kids - but the food is really just chips etc. Hoping for something a little special?

camberlou, is that ?250 with zip car?

I think that AA amount is for pretty regular use though - not for if you just want it outside of London. In the end, we have decided to go for a cheap used car. Mainly because my mother is going to buy it as it means we will visit her more regularly! I'm very grateful as it means our summer camping trips will be a whole lot easier. Yet I will miss my non-car status I think...just seems like one less thing to think about, plus trains are more fun and better for environment. But at the end of the day all our family live outside of London and off the beaten track, and bus,train,bus meant our visits were limited. Maybe a good thing? Maybe having a car makes us more busy-busy than is good for us. Anyway, we are going to very strictly limit car use to outside London. I'm very impressed by those families who get along without one, and I can say that our mini-experiment showed me it was definitely possible.

sounds like a church hall, community centre, scout hut kind of thing would work best. just get a whole load of nice nibbles, sandwiches and some wine. don`t think most pubs etc will be that accommodating...

I think this year it has just been colder for longer. we were fine and congratulating ourselves at the end of Jan for all our strategies having worked....really warm clothes, lots of oranges, etc. then Feb was just one thing after another - chicken pox, vomiting and flu all round. I had a bad cold for TEN DAYS which was a nightmare for going to work. all my friends have had a similar Feb low-point. So, Kamath, I hate to say I think all you can really do is damage limitation. Complete prevention is impossible. One thing I do think is effective is being strict about not letting little ones back to school or nursery until they are completely completely better. I know is a pain for work and/or cabin fever, but in my experience if they go back too soon they are more than likely to pick up the next bug, or just get a set-back on the original one. hope everyone gets better soon and here's to the spring arriving soon - please, please, please!

hubby lost job 2 years ago in horrible circumstances with no redundancy package, and no entitlement to benefits as hasn't worked long enough in this country (sorry daily mail readers, but what you read about welfare for foreigners didn't work for us...). i quickly went back to my work, which is low-paid. what i earn most months does not cover our mortgage (which is luckily really low), bills and food so we until things started looking up a wee bit recently we regularly has to get a payday loan. So, have quickly learnt how not to spend money - and especially how not to spend anything on those little "extras". it's very simple - if you don't want to spend money just don't go to cafes, don't buy the paper, don't ever go near shops for any reason that is not unavoidable - no browsing ever! i do grocery shops online once a month, and just top up with milk, eggs, and the very very occasional piece of meat. most meals are pulse-based - nothing is cheaper than lentils soup or bean stew. now, obviously if you don't have to scrimp so much they why would you as life like this gets rather joyless and pretty damn boring. but i used to have coffees and sandwiches and go out for meals without thinking....and now i could hit myself when i think of what i frittered away. our "rainy day" savings just didn't cut mustard for more than 6 months. it has been "interesting" to be so skint but it is mostly just really really stressful and if/hopefully when we manage to get heads above water again i know saving will be our big priority. interesting thread, and some good tips.

i think it would only work if part of the "package" included an entertainer. the hard part of a kids party is the doing, not the planning. why don't you also want to run them?

i have to say i've much preferred being without a car in London. It just feels like one less thing to worry about, no insurance, no repairs, and I'm perfectly happy to be confined to public transport. find driving quite a hassle whereas the bus is an adventure! in a weird way i think being restricted has made our life simpler and therefore less stressful. i end up doing less but i was probably running around like a mad thing before. but just about come to the conclusion that if we are planning to go camping a couple of weekends over the summer - and then next summer too, we might as well buy a cheap second hand one, than spend ?150 that is just lost money each time we hire a car. i know it will creep up on us and we will end up using it more and more...but that is what we want to guard against. maybe I'll hide the keys for the winter.

i suppose my question is when does it end up being cheaper to actually buy a small, used car than spend quite a hefty amount on weekend rentals? my worry is that our last car - which was my mum's cast off - ended up being just a money drain. i don't want to buy something and then end up having to fix this and that all the time...

We've just completed 6 months of our experiment of not having a car - and just wondered if other families have also given up car ownership and what has worked for them? To be honest, the winter has been fairly straightforward as we didn't really venture much further than London and outskirts - but now summer is (hopefully!) on its way I want to start planning some weekends away. Has anyone got any really good tips for how to get good deals on weekend car rentals, or tips on travelling long distance on trains with little ones. I sat down last night and tried to plan our journey to see my friend down in Devon for her 40th and almost cried with frustration! should i just bottle it and get a car? I'd like to at least see the year through! i would say that I am usually a pretty good mum-traveller, having flown to australia on my own twice with kids. but it was a long trip and took loads of planning - don't want to have to do that just for a weekend away! btw main reason for ditching the old banger that we had was economic - on the assumption that we really only need one in the summer for breaks, camping trips etc... am i being unrealistic?

Can anyone recommend any car share schemes? In particular, does anyone know of any where you can use the car to drive to a different city/town and leave there - i.e. rather than having to take the car for a whole week if you are going away. thanks.

you might find that it takes a bit longer than a few days for your milk to dry up, but the best thing to achieve that is just to stop. you might find it a bit painful to give up cold turkey if you are bf every night but i know people who have done so just with a few paracetemol. interested in why you don't replace with a bottle? this is the easiest as lots of toddlers will happily accept a bottle in exchange for breast and so giving up bf is easier. it allows them their desire to suck. without this, i'm not sure that the bf habit will be gone after a few days. the advantage of going for a bottle first is that lots of kids really like it and will accept it as an alternative to you. of course you may then decide you want to wean off bottle quite quickly, but the experience of friends and relatives suggests to me that it makes it easier to do it in these stages.

Going back to what cashewnut said about if there are no guns in the house then boys will not want to go out and hit people with sticks.... my male cousin - also brought up on the v feminist and women's circle scene - was not allowed any kind of "violent" toy. in fact, my aunt would go on about how proud she was that he loved playing with dolls. well, once he'd left home they cleaned out his bedroom and found at the back of the wardrobe a secret stash of swords....

mmmm... must admit we did sneak off for slightly stronger stuff when a bit older... tho both of us kept our rebellious streak within the realms of normal and didn't go too far off the rails. nature or nurture?

discussions on sexist attitudes in our house came - surprisingly - from Bambi! After watching the bit where Bambi and a rival fight for the doe Celine's affections, my 6 year old son came out with the question, "But why don't they just let her choose which one she wants to be with?" having said that, i have noticed that since he started school it has started to be all anti-pink, anti-girlie etc. these gender stereotypes affect boys as well as boys. my daughter still not at school so is boyish as wants to be like brother. but i presume that changes. it is very difficult - but so important - to instill in children a confidence to be able to be different from the crowd when they want to be. a word of caution to those who want to ban the barbies. whilst i completely understand the sentiment - and would not go looking for them myself - i was raised by an arch feminist and everything barbie-like was banned and very stridently disapproved of. so my and my sis would disappear to play with dolls in secret. when my mum came in, we would pretend they were going rock climbing, instead of just changing their clothes.

My sister in law is a dentist and says it makes no difference to teeth so read around a bit.

is it free or ticket? the idea is great, but i know some charge entry and i don't know if i'd pay ?10 to maybe be able to get some new clothes. i presume if there is nothing that fits or suits you then you just take your old ones home?

The management of the Barry Road one is the same as the one in Dulwich Village. I got no response to enquiries about Barry Road, but I was called straight back about the Village site and offered a tour and a place there until the Barry Road one started. I didn't take it up in the end though. I'd been after Barry Road as just round the corner from us. Found a lovely pre-school instead - Buds down by Goose Green. Daughter very happy there and I would really recommend it.

sorry, boring thread alert.... what is the current advice around non-stick pans? should you throw them out when they start to flake? what about other kinds of metal kitchen equipment like bread bins? i've heard it's dangerous but not sure if true. anyone any better knowledge than me?

can your partner help? it's very difficult for kids to accept that mum is there but no boob when they have been used to it on tap. we weaned our first to a night-time bottle. it took 3 nights of me resolutely not going in to his bedroom, and my partner offering him the bottle. when he was hungry he took it, but to be honest he ended up not waking up nearly so much in the night, i.e. just a big bottle before he went to sleep and then an early morning one. we used to have it ready and waiting so could just pass it over. i breastfed both until 3 years, so i completely understand the desire to keep going. i also know that if you do extended breastfeeding there will be times when it drains you and pushes you to the limit. only you can know where your limit is, and when you need for the sake of sanity, health, tiredness etc to stop. if you do stop, congratulate yourself on what you have achieved. all situations are different and there is no magic length of time. on solids, i found that both mine responded well to lots of dairy. if they are used to having loads of milk, then perhaps changing to something similar is easier than suddenly going for meat and veg. mine went for yoghurt, cottage cheese, fruit smoothies etc. when you find something he loves, just offer it all the time.

i also have bilingual kids and number 1 was slow with speech and language. i think you have to be really careful not to unwittingly make child feel bad or stupid, or obligated to learn . learning at this age (and all ages) should be fun and without pressure. your child has many years of school and it is important s/he enjoys them. remember they are learning all the time anyway....songs, music, painting, nature etc. please don't worry.

whether or not it is average depends on how many kids there are in the top groups. and the teacher may be referring to a whole range of other abilities. the main thing to notice is whether or not the teacher is aware of your son's current learning abilities, and how engaged your son is at school. my son started in the lower groups but i can see him making steady progress and that the teacher is involved with his needs. he didn't start school or any kind of pre-school until he was 5 when he had 1 term of reception - so others have had a head start with formal learning. but he is catching up. i think though that all studies show kids which are older in their year do consistently better - especially boys. in fact, i even know some people who planned the timing of their pregnancy around this...

don't take any foods even packaged biscuits in a tin. Oz has very strict food import laws and i even got some packets of instant white coffee and some boiled sweets take away. also no wooden toys

egg fried rice...easy supper fave

not sure about older kids but my experience of key stage one is that kids swap groups as needed. there is a lot of difference at a young age as kids start literacy very differently. the school should be able to manage this so that slower kids feel good about their learning. has been very positive for my son.