fernado

before tripping over a mysterious bottle of fluoro-coloured widdle that someone has dumped next to a boxful of torn-up Waitrose/M&S planning applications

both unspeakably dire

Tasting "freshly prepared" is the very least a place serving food should be aiming for.

most of mine were beyond dreadful - but toastED? Is this a joke?

Lanius Macellarius

The Living Room The Wild Goose Ceremony

The Surly Waitress The Substandard Food The Inevitable Complaints About The Slightest Little Thing The Patch The People With Too Much Time On Their Hands

Gobble Smarm Panhandle

Trait Stock Sliver and Slice

Hire a soundsystem, postition speakers next to party wall, load up the intro to When The Levee Breaks on a continuous loop, depart on two-week holiday

What a truly extraordinary thread this is developing into

anyone else dislike this phrase?

maybe welcomekoo could do the menu? that'd be a good read.

Evening's? Math's? English tuition?

jesus wept

Attach a guillotine to your front door maybe

String I'm up its the only language he understands mate