The Nappy Lady

....me too....was worried my post might sound patronising, totally wasn't intended that way, just off the back of a programme like that, it does make you think doesn't it.

If bullying is not being addressed this needs to be dealt with, whether it be via the school governors, or by a group of parents approaching the head teacher. My understanding is that bullying is now taken extremely seriously in all schools, if they are not dealing with it appropriately this needs to be resolved, with a clear policy put in place, in writing. Overall I like the idea of a school being fairly strict, but I wonder if some of the emphasis is being put on the wrong things. No personal experience so can't really comment.

akc74 I'm so sorry to hear about this, it must be such a worrying time for you. The above posts sounds very positive, and all I wanted to add is that IF there is a problem as far as I know the treatment is very effective and relatively straightforward. I can't recall if it was the same thing, but a girl I used to work with had a son who had to go into a cast for several months at around 8 months - one of those casts that holds the hips and legs firm, with a bar between the ankles. I remember her (inderstandably) being very upset after the diagnosis and when the cast first went on, and she took about a month off work to look after her little one. However, he very quickly adapted to the cast, and found ways to get around, and play without showing any distress. In the end when it was removed he was 100% cured so she felt it was all totally worth while. On a much lesser level - my youngest had Metatarsus Adductus, diagnosed at around 6 months old - this is when the bones in the feet curve inwards, so the feet look banana shaped and the child tends to walk on the outside edge of each foot to a lesser or greater extent. It is caused by lack of space in the womb/baby lying in a funny position. She had been in special shoes (straight last) since 12 months old (now almost 2.5). The shoes are straight along the inner edge so they gently push the feet into the correct position. The improvement has been amazing, so she is likely to be signed off soon, you probably wouldn't notice the problem now if you didn't know about it. When she first went into the shoes it was so upsetting - they were much more solid and heavy than the little soft leather shoes she'd worn up to then. Having been up and walking at 11 months she went back to sitting on the floor and crying and I felt so bad. She was supposed to wear the shoes for 12 hours a day, but I had to start off at 30 minutes and build it up over 2 weeks. So hard as I wanted to correct her feet, yet felt so upset by her distress. In actual fact by the end of the first month she didn't mind the shoes in the least and now loves her shoes so I struggle to get them off her! The guys on here were so supportive and reassuring during those first weeks - thank you to all of them. So, whatever happens, don't despair. If he does end up having treatment try to focus on the long term result and take each day as it comes. Children adapt incredibly quickly, and he wont remember any of this once it is over and done with. Really hope that in the end it is a false alarm, but if not try to hold on to the thought of how lucky we are as parents to be able to get help for our little ones. Hugs, M xx

Still waiting to know how big he was ,......;-) Can tell you've got your hands full Snowboarder, never known you so quiet on this forum....come back, we miss you!! xx

Really interesting reading (I just knew it would be). Thank you Huggers for sharing your experiences with us, it seems to be a very sensible and inspiring way to deal with the 'process' and I hope when the time comes I will approach it in an equally balanced way. I just find the conversations on her interesting regardless....I've 'crossed' the bridge of pregnancy and childbirth for good, but I still post on those threads, so thought this might be an interesting new subject for us all to ponder upon!

Just spotted this in the classifieds; http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?25,634164

Hot on the heels of the vasectomy thread, I thought this might be an interesting discussion. I'm only just past 40 so hopefully it's a while away yet, based on my family history. I don't have any strong views about it yet, just hoping it isn't a huge hassle when the time comes. Now I'm done with having babies I don't feel as if it will matter too much, but I wonder if, when it finally happens I might find it more upsetting than I expect. What are peoples views on HRT?

Huge congratulations honey. So pleased baby SB Mk2 is finally here, and that the experience was a positive one. Looking forward to a cuddle, before he gets too big please (speaking of which, what did he weigh at birth?). Xx

Yes, you can put over a disposable swin nappy but really not necessary (just costs you more money!!).

You can get disposable swim nappies, but I'd go for the neoprene ones like the 'Splashabout Happy Nappy' (you will find them if you Google). They have a ribbed cuff that contains any accidents (unlike other swim nappies) and many pools are starting to insist on them. If baby does poo in it, which is fairly rare in my experience you just take it off, tip / flush nappy off in the loo & then wash it. Really not a hassle. If you think about it the very nature of disposables makes the swim ones pretty useless as if they had all the absorbent gels etc in them they would swell up & explode within about 2 minutes LOL. So, the ones they make dont really contain anything & it's flipping annoying when a pool gets closed for the day because a child has leaked into it. I'd also highly recommend a baby wetsuit - it looks like a one piece swimsuit and velcros on - opens up, put on like a coat then velcros across body, over shoulders & between the legs. In a cooler pool it keeps the baby warm & happy & extends the time you can stay in with them considerably. If you only plan to go to Pecham Pulse baby pool you don't need it, but in other pools (even in Spain) I found ours invaluable, and the same one fitted over 2 summers so it was good value. Hope this helps.

Keef - I think there are 2 very strong groups of through on the male side of this, I know quite a lot of men who have recently decided to have the snip because they are happily settled, with what they consider to be a 'complete' family. They had the op of their own free will without pressure from their partners, but since then I know of at least 2 couples who have said (I summarise) that it is 'wonderful' to be able to relax and enjoy having sex without having to think about contraception. Then you get men like yourself (I think from your posts), and my hubby (bless him) who just cannot and will not ever, ever be willing to have the op done. That is his decision and I'd never try to change his mind, though it does mean that in our case the responsibility for contraception remains my responsibility, and quite frankly it is a bit of a pain one way and another. He is pretty honest about it - he doesn't want to feel like he couldn't have any more children, if he ever wanted or needed to...though as far as we are both concerned we don't plan to have more. As you never know what is around the corner I feel that is fair enough - my Dad was 60 when I was born, so he's still got (potentially) a good few years left in him. :)) It is interesting that people tend to fall firmly into one or other camp though don't you think, and actually I've come across the same thing with dog owners i.e.being either totally pro spaying and neutering, or totally against neutering dogs, though in this case many are still happy to spay a bitch. I think especially men feel like it is a betrayal to get their dog done. LOL. I can actually see both sides of the argument, and if I was a bloke I'm not sure I'd get it done I have to say. Maybe it is a bit of a head versus heart decision too....just doesn't 'feel' right. I know I've been a bit tongue in cheek about it all, but it isn't intended in a nasty way. Anyway...I digress.......and dinner is (finally) ready.....

I remember spending a lot of time cooking with my now 6 year old in a sling during this phase...not ideal I know, but if you have them on your back they are mostly out of harms way as long as you don't cook anything that 'spits' etc. It has been much easier with No.2 as mostly her sister is around to entertain her, but we still have our moments. I have a set of little kitchen steps which I got from Betterware and I find she loves to stand on them and 'help' - obviously I put her in a safe place, with a bowl and whisk or similar and that will keep her happy, but your little ones are probably still a bit too young to be safe doing that....give it time. It is really hard, but sooner or later we all 'loose it' in front of our children in my experience, and this is all part of a process.....they are pushing the boundaries all the time. They NEED to know how far is too far, so don't be afraid to let them know. I still remember the first time I really shouted at my first daughter when she was about 2.5 or 3 and was being really horrible to me after I'd had a really long day at work and picked her up from the childminders - afterwards she was sitting on the naughty step crying and I was in the kitchen crying! It felt awful, but do you know, she never repeated the behaviour that led to it. Now with a 6 year old and a 2 year old I don't think twice about letting them know when they are close to pushing me too far, but I find I can often (not always) calmly crouch down to their level, look them in the eye and say "I don't want to get cross with you, but if XYZ continues then I will" in a firm voice and it often works. Hang in there ladies! Edited to add...it's hilarious really isn't it - we have this set idea of what sort of parent we will be, and then these little people come along and have us questioning ourselves left, right and centre. I'm sure if I could magically travel back in time and interview the 'pre-children' me about Motherhood and my plans I'd laugh myself horse..... xx

Re pain, it wasn't the op, but the week or two after that I gather can be painful....er I gather that in some cases the body takes a while to stop producing sperm and so, with nowhere to go it can get a bit 'congested'.....what a ball ache eh??! Still sniggering at the image of Mellors suggestion of using elastic bands. Poor boys, still we have to go through pregnancy, birth, periods....and don't even get started on the menopause ....I reckon you get off pretty lightly (but I wouldn't swap places for the world)!

Of the 6 or so men I know of who have had it done there seems to be massive variation - some really suffered, others said it really wasn't bad at all....I guess it is like labour, some are luckier than others. ;-) It seems to be like marriages and babies....we've had the years of all our friends going through that, now it seems to be everyone getting the snip.

Those I know who have had it done went via their doctors. They make you wait until your youngest child is 6 months old and will ask questions to ensure that in their mind you are 'ready' and really have finished with having children. I imagine you can go private, but don't know anyone who has gone down that route.

My eczema flares up when I'm stressed out, or during big hormonal changes - i.e. pregnancy, and always just one specific patch on the my back, really bizarre - used to get it on insides of my elbows, backs of knees and my hands when I was little, but these days it's always just the same little spot. Glad to hear it has got a bit better, fingers crossed you keep going in the right direction.

Unguentum worked best for my eczema too - it turned out the the other creams I'd been prescribed contained Lanolin, which in my case aggravated the eczema and made me itch uncontrollably. I have heard very good things about Pure Potions products - available via their website if you Google them. Totally natural & developed by a Mum for her own daughter due to frustration with prescribed products. It may not work for everyone, but it seems that with eczema it is a case of trial and error to a certain extent. Whatever detergent you use, cut right down to about half the recommended dose as one of the common causes is build up of detergents in the fibres of fabrics. If you are concerned this may be an issue try putting a wash on with no detergent at all and look to see whether you can see soapy suds during the wash cycle. I second all the advice about baths every other day, limiting or totally avoiding all soaps/products and using Oilatum or the Pure Potions bath oil. Really hope it improves quickly.

Try sitting on the floor with your legs wide & get baby Ko to lie back with his head in your lap looking up at you - he will naturally open his mouth & you can brush away! We also have a song we sing - "This is the way we brush our teeth, brush our teeth, brush our teeth early in the morning / when it's nearly bedtime" etc etc I think using a song helps then to quickly get with the routine so they know what to expect & how long it will last. We still brush both children's teeth (6 & 2), though I let the 6 year old have a go herself too as she's getting fairly competent now but I still like to 'make sure'.

This thread has been really interesting as we too are now in the midst of toddler angst. I have to say we've mostly just ignored tantrums and found they pass quickly, and we always give lots of cuddles and reassurance once we feel the child in question is open to receive them, but I will now be a bit more conscious of what the tantrum is actually about and whether I need to respond differently to it. I think one of the greatest skills I've now acquired (2nd time around) is being able to sometimes head the tantrum off at the pass so to speak. I know it isn't always possible, but either by diversion, or by not rising to some of the stroppy toddler moments....a typical morning at the moment is; "Time to get your dressed" C: "NO, I DON'T WANT TO GET DRESSED" "OK then, we'll do it later" (walking out the room) C: "WAAAHHH, I WANT TO GET DRESSED" Proceeds to happily let me get her dressed. "Time to go downstairs for breakfast" C: "I DON'T WANT TO HAVE BREAKFAST" "OK then, you come down later, but we're going for breakfast now" C: "WAAAAHHHHH, I WANT BREAKFAST TOO". LOL......It is so much easier when you've been there before and can 1) see the funny side of it and 2) play them at their own game. Evil Mummy Smile. ;-) xx

Eugh, 6.5 years on I can still totally empathise and clearly remember sitting outside my childminders, gripping the steering wheel and sobbing on the first day I left my daughter to return to work.... For me, I found it did get easier....and having time to read your book on the train, go to the gym in your lunch hour (or to the shops, whatever)....are all things that your really appreciate in an entirely new way. But I was never entirely happy working 9-5 Monday to Friday once I was a Mum, the balance felt all wrong. I went back when my first was 9 months old, and the reason I braved full time was that we intended to have a second child very quickly so I would then get full maternity leave all over again. However...best laid plans and all that...in the end nature had other ideas and it was over 3 years before I was pregnant again. In the meantime, when my eldest had turned 2 I decided enough was enough and I stopped working in the City, went self employed and started working from home, or for businesses locally 3 or 4 days per week. This has suited me much better, although I must say it took a while to adjust to the drop in salary. I am lucky in that my hubby is the main breadwinner and his job is pretty high pressure so actually the fact I have so much flexibility to look after the children, take time off as necessary etc. works really well, and he has picked up any financial shortfall (bless him). I have at times worked from home with the children around but would not recommend it at all. It is always stressful, and as a rule the minute you pick up your laptop, or the telephone they will stop whatever they have been doing and start demanding your attention. I think it is fine once they are older - probably at least 6, but ideally 8 years plus but before that they just don't understand, and everyone ends up fraught or frustrated. When I have work to do from home I almost always end up packing it in to nap times, or evenings - and that in itself is a nightmare because it means other stuff doesn't get done, plus you miss out on 'down time' and also time with your other half - and they can get resentful too. So.....all in all....definitely a big NO from me! I agree with what others have said about there being no right or wrong answer. You may be surprised once you are back at work by how much you enjoy it. I think the thought of going back is much worse than the reality....BUT....for me the perfect balance is more of a 50/50 split of my time with 3 to 4 working days per week, and I feel very lucky to be in this position. Good luck, I really hope things work out well for you. xx

I suffered from very bad back ache after the birth of my first, and realised that having a changing mat on the floor was really adding to the problem. Once I changed to a changing table it helped massively - used it from day 1 with our second and really didn't have any problems at all, so I'm pretty sure it was that, combined with getting relaxed/into correct position for breastfeeding first time around that caused most of my problems. I think your issues are probably not linked, but thought I'd post as possibly useful for others reading this thread.

I'm the same Yorkie - my heart is in my throat for the two ladies this week...both such moving stories, especially the could who have lost two babies, incredibly bad luck and so heart breaking.

Moos - if you've had CP, and are breastfeeding then my understanding is that it is very unlikely that Twosling will get it, or if so it should be extremely mild (which can mean they catch it again at some point). I know quite a lot of instances of the toddler getting it but the newborn not in this circumstance. BeccaL - personally I think your hubby should get vacinated, because even if your daughter doesn't catch the pox this time around she is bound to at some point so better for you as a family if your hubby isn't running this risk, based on all the evidence of it being much worse if you catch it as an adult.

We are on day 19 of 'CP Watch' for my youngest, who spent two days at childminders with a little girl during the pre spots, highly contagious phase. No signs yet, but will be glad if it does come out as I would really like to get it over and done with. Will be astounded if she doesn't get it given the level of exposure. My friends little girl got her first spot on day 20 so there is still time. Hmmm.

I used 2-3 drops of clary sage & the same of jasmin essential oils in the bath from 39 weeks - run your bath, then once taps are off add to the water. Didn't do anything drastic, but when I finally had my first a week late my labour did start an hour after I'd got out the bath (been using it for two weeks though remember)! I wouldn't use it (CS) neat, or in big doses but I think it's fine if used according to the guidelines - that goes for adding it to a base oil & using to massage your lower back too. You must be careful not to use at any other point in pregnancy, or incorrectly once at your due date.