KatsuQueen

Hello friendly EDF parents, just wondered if any of you had a recommendation for family-friendly lunch at the SOuth Bank. Minikatsu has learnt to walk and is really difficult to restrain in a high chair for long periods. We can distract him with food for a bit but he likes to have a wander round before too long. WE are meeting an old friend (no kids) on Saturday and from memory, everywhere is really packed. It looks like we will end up somewhere like giraffe but if it's too child-friendly (we normally hang out with other screaming kids and rampaging toddlers) it might not be a very nice experience for our friend!

I was worried too because my son was the same, but he seemed to be OK. He drinks a little bit now, but only a bit. I tried giving minikatsu water with his solids but he never knew what to do with it. He just used to play with the beaker or blow bubbles in the water. I was worried, but he was still drinking his milk (I didn;t give him milk at mealtimes) and eating fruit purees etc so no problems with his poo. Although he did go red and grunt with a screwed-up face when he was pooping, which I thought was funny (bad Mummy!) He only really started "drinking" a few weeks ago (he's now 14 months) and only has a few sips at a time. He does still drink a lot of milk everyday though.

Hi, my 14 month old had this too. Vomiting and horrible nappies. Dairy seemed to make it worse, so no milk, yoghurts etc for about 5 days (poor boy). He mainly lived on Ribena, bananas and rich tea biscuits. We only fed him a little at a time which seemed to help with the vomiting. Luckily it didn't last long. Unfortunately my husband got it next, so he was on the Ribena + bananas diet too for a while.

1.Do you want to work (for money, outside the home)? Yes. 2. Do you feel that all women including mothers ought to work for money outside the home? No.Everyone is different. 3. Do we tend towards health, teaching, social or people oriented types of work because we prefer it or because that is the main option available to us? I don't know. I work in a male-dominated field i.e. engineering. When I was growing up I never felt that any options were "closed" to me, maybe to do with my upbringing? 4. Do you think men and women are suited to doing the same types of jobs? I think some physically demanding jobs may be more suited to men than women, and some jobs require more empathy which women generally better at. 5. The unequal representation of women at higher levels of the workforce ? is this a result of unjust discrimination? I don't think it is straightforward discrimination but there is a perception that childcare is the "duty" / responsibility of the woman. If you work part-time, you are seen as not being 100% committed. If you work full-time (or at all) you are seen as a woman who has abandoned your children. Yes the dreaded "career woman".... 6. Do you see motherhood as a problem which makes it difficult for you to work?In my case it hasn;t been a problem, mainly because of understanding employers. But I know people who are trying to get back into employment and finding it very hard. It's not easy but I don't think motherhood is easy for anyone, whether you work or not. 7. Do you think the problem of motherhood can be easily fixed by paid childcare subsdised if necessary by the state? Motherhood is not a "problem" so cannot be "fixed" by money or anything else. 8. Do you think it is up to the state to sort out such matters? The rules about employers keeping your job open for a year has certainly worked in my favour. And subsidised childcare would be great for me. So from purely selfish point of view, yes, more incentives for mothers working outside the home, please! I don't think of myself as a feminist, but I wouldn't be happy to stay at home and look after my son until he reaches 8 or 18 or 35 or whenever the childcare experts say that he doesn't need me anymore. Maybe in some people's eyes that makes me a "bad" mother, yeah whatever. Sorry if that sounds harsh, I think this is a "no-win" situation. If you work, bad. If you don;t work, also bad. As far as I am concerned, "happy parents = happy children".

Hello PollyD, hope you are not going stir crazy. If you ever doubt that you are doing the right thing by staying in, don't doubt yourself. When I was pregnant, during the routine bloods I found out that I didn't have Rubella immunity. I did have the vaccination when I was young, but somehow it didn;t "work". Anyway, I was pretty stressed about it although tried to put the risks into perspective. Still scary when your read about all the things that can happen if you catch it in early pregnancy..... Will have my Rubella vaccination soon! edited for bad typing

I quizzed MrKatsu and took his first answers only: Question 1 - what would be your ideal Fathers Day / random treat? A Lie-In Question 2 - what do you reckon is the hardest thing about being a Dad? Being tired all the time Question 3 - do you feel, in general, that you play / will play the role of stricter parent? Definitely not. Can't even say "NO" to MiniKatsu in a suitably scary manner when he's doing dangerous activities!

I'd be interested in a chicken pox vaccination for MiniKatsu too. Where do people get them done?

Hi fruitcake, MiniKatsu is only a year old but it has cropped up in conversation before. If I could afford it, I would definitely send him to private school. Why not? I think that schooling is only a part of a child's upbringing. If you can afford to send a child to private school, then you will undoubtedly also have money to have nicer holidays, live in a more comfortable home and be able to take him/her to museums, the theatre and other cultural experiences. I'm not saying that people who send their children to state school are deprived (I'll be one of them) BUT money opens lots of doors and gives you lots of choice, education is only one of those choices. I'm not originally from the UK and I just don't understand the guilt associated with private education. Would you feel guilty about living in a 5 bed house with a nice garden, where your children had lots of space to play and be creative? WOuld you feel guilty about taking your children to restaurants and on lots of holidays? All of those would add to your children's confidence (let's be realistic) in general. And besides, unpleasant people are evenly spread throughout all strata of society! YOu can find arrogant people anywhere, regardless of background.

Hi, just wanted to commetn on Jojobaby's earlier post regarding holidays with extended family and bedtimes etc. Jojobaby, you are really lucky to have your extended family around you. I am Chinese and I was brought up totally without bedtimes etc. I always thought that I would bring up MiniKatsu that way - BUT there is a big difference. I am doing this all on my own (OK, with MrKatsu, it's justthe two of us). When I was little, I was looked after by about a dozen adults, related and unrelated. I never even slept with my parents from todder age. From the age of one and a half (or so) I would sleep in the same bed with my grandparents, my Aunts, my Uncles...basically whichever bed I fell into at the end of the night. I was babysat by a series of neighbours, cousins and strangers off the street. So the burden of caring for me and my siblings was never solely on my parents. (This wasn;t in the UK, obviously) Anyway, when I had MiniKatsu my mother was soooo worried because she thought that I would never be able to cope on my own without all the "aunties" around to help me. I use GF's methods and they really worked for me, maybe because I'm a weak lazy mother ....hahahha. I needed my rest at the end of the day becasue there was literally no-one to even make me a coffee or make sure I had a snack when I was starving. By the way, my mother's main priority was my health and well-being. If I was not well, how could I look after a baby? Her words of advice were - if you are eating and baby cries; let him cry until you finish eating. Don;t carry him around all day, leave him in his cot. Harsh? She was only thinkging of me, her own little baby...

I am a really big fan of Gina Ford and I would recommend her to any of my friends who was expecting a baby. It was a trusted friend who swore by her Gina Ford book, I had never heard of her before I got pregnant. Jojobaby, when I first read your post I thought you were being sarcastic and it actually made me grin, before I realised you were being serious. Sorry, if this comes across wrong and certainly don't mean to offend/pre-judge - (it's so hard on message boards) but one of the reasons I bought the book in the first place was because of comments from mothers like "2 and a half years and still not sleeping through the night". I just needed some help and guidance, and GF provided that. I would say that every baby is different, but MiniKatsu did fall into the routine quite easily and is a champion napper during the day and sleeps 7 - 7 and has done since he was about 5 months old. (Not bragging, I've got all my finger and toes crossed now) He's always been a very happy baby, so I really don't get why GF is so derided on message boards etc. It's almost as if people don't admit that they do GF routines because it's "bad parenting" .... hhahaha I must be the worst mother ever!

me me me!

Hi Chantelle, I was really worried too. We are in the process of moving into the area and did wonder if we were just making a big mistake now. (still wondering) But having looked at the figures a bit more carefully, I feel a bit better. Reading the results printed in the Evening Standard, the "headline" number of 29% passing SATs in English and Maths combined is scary. However, if you look deeper,percentage achieving Level 4 target score (the benchmark)is English 86% Maths 33% Science 100% (!!!!!) How can a primary school which can't teach maths, get such good results for science??? It just doesn;t make sense? Why is the maths so skewed? Compare that to Heber school, which everyone seems to be happy with; their results are English 73% Maths 77% Science 90% On that basis, Bellenden is actually outperforming Heber in English and Science. Also, bearing in mind that these are 11 year olds, the area has changed a lot in the last 10 years. I read in the last Ofsted report that Bellenden has a particular problem which may skew the figures i.e. children leaving before age 11. I presume that this is because families are moving away, maybe because of concerns about secondary schools, maybe people just tending to move out of London. I don't know. Anyway, I was really shocked and worried too but the figures don;t seem so bad when you look at them in a bit more detail.

I've been back at work for about 6 weeks now, and it's been OK so far. I wouldn't go far to say that I'm "loving" it, but it seems to be working out well. I'm lucky that I can work 4 days and my husband can work 4 days. MiniKatsu is with a childminder 3 days so we each have a day with him during the week. Working 4 days you are still in touch with everything that's going on in the office, and looking after him for a day becomes such a treat. It helps that he seems to be very happy and settled at the childminder, big smiles when he sees her etc.... I did have pangs of doubt before I started work though. One part of it is that I wanted him to love me best and didn't want anyone to be as good as mummy. Does that sound weird? On the other hand, the whole working/non-working mother divide is pretty meaningless I think. Unless you have a nanny at the same time who works from 7 - 7, and a cleaner and a "household manager" to make sure that there is always bread and milk in the fridge, when you are at home, that is work. There's no "down-time" when you have a baby. At least while I'm at work I can have lunch in peace.

??? Eh ????

KatsuQueen.

Yay, the 12th sounds good; so does the Mag!

Hi Rosie, I asked about primary schools and catchment a while ago. Here's the thread. I hope it helps. http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,307025,307553#msg-307553

Thanks for the tips. (dumpling squash - sounds so cute!) But how come when I buy courgettes, the skin is always really "prickly" and bitter? I always end up peeling them.

Try and get a referral to a dermatologist or dermatology nurse. MiniKatsu was quite bad with eczema and I didn't have much confidence in our GP. So I asked for a referral and was sent to see a dermatology nurse at a practice in Herne Hill. I believe it's a weekly clinic. The nurse there was excellent and my son is much better now. It's still moisturise moisturise moisturise though.

I had a pub lunch today and it came with some chopped courgettes which were delicious. Crunchy and yummy. How come every time I try to cook courgettes they go all soggy and the skin is just bitter and horrible. What am I doing wrong?

Wow, she went "out" out! I only went outside when Mini Katsu was about 10 days old, just to get some fresh air. I only walked around the block! I remember feeling really rubbish though, because my NCT mates were meeting up for coffees and gadding about in parks etc. Whereas I was just so exhausted, leaving the flat was an event for me.

Yikes, that sounds so scary! Hope you (and your mother-in-law)are feeling OK.Sorry no helpful advice, just sending you some hugs because I know how upset I would be.

5th or 12th is fine for me at the moment!

5th or 12th is fine for me at the moment!

"...harpies...in jeans and baby puked sweaters...." eeekkkk! Jodyhatter, ouch, the truth hurts!