KatsuQueen

congratulations and hope you are recovering well. I remember how lovely it was to be home after a week in hospital, best wishes!

Fuschia, you are a legend! (Storing away all your tips for future reference!)

Someone has suggested a "nanny with own child" arrangement, which might suit us so I will look into that too. Minikatsu was really happy at his childminder so I'm not really worried about the quality of care they will get if they go to the right childminder. But there were days when it was awful getting him out the door by 7:30 and I felt terrible all day at work because I only had 1 hour to spend with my son and I had spent it shouting at him. But as MrKatsu pointed out - there are lots of people who do it, so we can too. And I should stop being such a wuss! (Edited to say: I mean there are lots of people who manage the drop-off and pick-up routine...not lots of people who shout at their children...)

Thanks for the info everyone. MrsS I do appreciate that it is very hard work! :) Dulwichgirl2 - yes I have added tax and NI to the basic net rate, thanks!

Hi, I've been busy doing calculations trying to figure out how to cover childcare costs when I go back to work later in the year and I'm hoping that some helpful forumites could advise, or just say, yes your numbers sound right or no, you have forgotten about xyz etc. Minikatsu went to a childminder and I was happy with that, but now that I have two, a nanny or nannyshare really appeals. Mainly because the thought of wrestling two children out the door by 7:30am, and doing the pick-up at 6ish and whole bathtime/bedtime routine with everyone (especially me) tired and fractious is making me depressed. So at least if the nanny comes to house I am spared that drop-off and I can come home to two clean and fragrant children, fed and all cute and cuddly in their jim jams. (well that's the dream) But working out costs (based on other posts and nanny tax calculator)- ?10/hour for 3 days would cost us about ?1800! Yikes! If that's true I'll just have to accept the fact that we can't afford a nanny and look at other options. I also looked at nanny share - but the hourly cost is higher ?12/ hour and if we paid 65% of the cost (eg if the other family only had one child, which is realistic) - it still costs about ?1550 - which helps but seems a lot of hassle for not much gain. Also how does the bathing work when you are in a nanny share - does it happen? Do you keep towels etc at each others houses? Or does it not really happen? I think I have just about concluded that we can;t afford a nanny! It's not that I am against childminders/nurseries etc but exploring all the options.

computedshorty - where are you in ED? Have sent you a PM

feedback posted above.

Hi little h, sorry no advice as I have put off any serious potty training till after TinyKatsu has arrived and things have settled down. But just wanted to send you good vibes and let you know you are not alone. MiniKatsu will be going strating nursery in January and I am hoping (all fingers crossed) that once he sees older children using the loo etc, peer pressure will kick in and he will want to be like the "big boys". (I can only hope!) Fuschia- thanks so much for your earlier post. MiniK will be be 3 in a few weeks and some days it seems like he will be in nappies forever. Soon I will have 2 sets of pooey nappies to deal with - what joy!

Hi little h, we are in the same boat. Minikatsu will be 3 in January but shows no sign of being interested in potty training. We have tried sitting him on the potty and he will sit for a bit, but never does anything in it. He will happily sit in a soiled nappy.:-S To be honest probably our own fault that we have waited too long (?) but I was working full time till recently and now am on maternity leave waiting for arrival of Tiny Katsu. I've just got no energy at the moment to put him in pants and deal with wee/poo accidents as they happen. It just seems easier to keep him in nappies for now, although I know I am storing up trouble for myself. Arrghhh. Let us know how you get on.

That's great news.

OK Thanks everyone - in case anyone is wondering: I've got the SMA starter pack, 12 ready made sterile bottles and teats. I'm getting them from Ocado, but I'm sure you can get them at supermarkets/Boots etc. Ready to go in my hospital bag. Just to share my own experience in case any first time mothers have read this and are anxious - it took a few days for my milk to come in properly and despite what the midwives told me about "colustrum is enough" etc, my baby was obviously starving and showing signs of being dehydrated. I still put him to my breast every two hours or so, but frankly he wasn;t getting anything out of them. The formula just got us through the first week or so. One day I just put him to my boob, squeezed it and a squirt of milk came out...so just because you need a top-up in the beginning doesn't mean that breast feeding is out of the question. BUT while I was in hospital, I saw another couple who attended the same antenatal classes, who had to readmit their dehydrated baby. Their baby had lost more than 10% of birthweight because of problems with feeding and the "no formula/no water is required" mantra. Even in my post-birth haze I could see that this was nuts, when one bottle of formula would have solved a potentially dangerous situation. (sorry that this is in danger of turning into the same tired discussion - but I've got the answer to ny original question, so thanks fellow EDF'ers!)

Hi everyone, thanks for helpful comments. I think I will probably get the SMA ready made bottles, just in case. I think it does depend on the individual midwife, although to be fair I always got a teat/bottle. Maybe it was just my sensitive state at the time, but I did feel there was a lot "eye-rolling" and "deep sighing" whenever we asked for the equipment. And I was trying to breastfeed damn it! I just needed a bit of top-up help in the early days. (just another thing to make me feel inadequate as a mother!) (Sillywoman, sorry I really didn;t want to get into this, but can;t resist a reply. I am totally pro-breastfeeding BUT there are many reasons why women choose not to breastfeed. I'm not surprised by belle's post - I just think it is so strange that a midwife, a "health-care professional" would rather have a baby screaming its head off in hunger, potentially dehydrated, purely out of "principle". Formula isn't poison.)

Thanks for replying! Jennyh, very reassuring to hear that it was easier for you, but I think the official policy is as Ruth has posted. Officially the ward does not provide any formula, bottles, teats etc but obviously they have to, because what if you just CAN'T breastfeed (eg if the mother is seriously ill)? They can't let the baby starve! But we found that it was very awkward to get the individually wrapped sterile teats; you had to find a member of staff who had access to the locked cupboard; sometimes you had to find a few MWs etc before you found the person who had the key to the cupboard or knew where it was. Meanwhile my baby was screaming his head off in hunger. And then I just got one measly teat / bottle, so you had to repeat the whole process 3 hours later. This time round, I just thought sod it, I'm bringing in my own supply - but I can;t seem to find them anywhere. "Vital baby" do individually wrapped single-use sterile bottles and teats, but they seem to be sold out everywhere.

Hello, has anyone used any disposable bottles/teats recently? I am due to deliver 2nd baby at kings in early Dec, one of the things I found really difficult first time round was getting hold of sterile bottles/teats in the first week while I was there. When MInikatsu was born he had a few bottle feeds in the first few days before my milk came in but becaue they have a strong breastfeeding policy, all bottles/teats were locked up in a cupboard and it was such a hassle gestting a bottle and teat from the busy staff. So this time around, I;m just going to bring in some disposable ready sterilised bottles and teats in my hospital bag. The only ones I can seem to find are "vital baby nurture" ones, which are medium or fast flow, I really need the slow/newborn flow ones. SMA do a starter pack with 12 bottles and teats, but I'd rather use Aptamil so I just need the bottles/teats not the milk. Anyone found anything that worked well? (Please, I don't want to get into a discussion about nipple confusion/colustrum is enough/formula is poison etc.)

yes we are lucky. (saw the photo) :(

Hi Al&Em, you've had all great advice already - agree with others that the Dr's advice does sound kind of weird. But don;t get disheartened; MiniKatsu had the same reaction to banana and I was really worried - especially when everyone around me said - allergic to banana? That's one of the "first foods" isn;t it?? A couple of months later I tried him on banana again and he was fine (it's one of his staple foods now) One bit of useful advice that I got was to introduce new foods early in the day, i.e. at breakfast or lunchtime. So that if he had a reaction a) I would notice it more in daylight when he was awake and b)everything seems easier to deal with during the day. Good luck with the weaning!

Hi, we went through this with Minikatsu at exactly the same age. (I think it is pretty common and a developmental thing). What worked for us was, giving him his own spoon and letting him do whatever he wanted with the food, while sneaking food into his mouth with another spoon whenever possible. Mealtimes were very very messy, he wanted to touch the food and squish it with his hands. There was often more food on the floor, on his hair, etc than he had actually eaten. (We have photos!) You just have to make double trhe amount of food, the wastage is awful I know, but we found it was the only way. NOw he's nearly three and the novlety of feeding himself has worn off, he loves to be fed!

Zeban - what about the Mums who can buy the Bugaboos AND the expensive shoes too??? Wow, I bet you reserve your best sneers for them. How about fancy changing bags Zeban? Sign of a frustrated, unhappy mother? :)) Seriously though. Bugaboo Bees are great.

Nabz, we went for the bugaboo Bee (previous version) because it was the lightest, most compact buggy that could face both ways at the time. We were in a first floor flat so had to carry the buggy up and down a very narrow set of stairs (with awkward bend) several times a day - so it really was a practical choice. Having said that it's been great, its served us very well from newborn to nearly 3. We are expecting another baby soon, and I am hoping to get another 3 years use out of it. We didn;t bother cocoon first time round, but might get one now. I'm still in two minds about that, because when the baby is really little (say before 8 weeks), we will probably carry her around in a sling mostof the time anyway. Minikatsu still fits in it no problem (but he's a bit titchy, to be fair); we have just bought a buggy board that goes with it too. The only slight caveat is it has a "short wheel base" so a bit tricky to get off buses/trains on your own when you are "reversing out" (if you see what I mean) Sorry if I haven;t explained that well! Otherwise, I would recommend all the way. Of all the baby purchases we made, the Bugaboo Bee is probably the best value. I have proabbly done hundreds of miles pounding the streets of East Dulwich / Peckham (and further) with it! (HelloSailor - I'm feeling depressed that people judge mothers by their buggies too. It is really mean-spirited, do you judge my child on the clothes he/she wears too? How awful)

Thanks everyone for the feedback, PMs and very useful information. Totally understand why the rooms can't be booked in advance, I will have to have a serious think about whether or not we can pay ?150 (?) a night IF they are free. I have limited health insurance through work, and won;t be covered as it is a "planned caesarian" according to their rules. What I'm hoping is that MrK can stay for the first night or two, and then I will be OK on my own if I still need to stay. We should have some help with my nearly 3 year old, so fingers crossed he will be able to get some sleep at home during the day. But, frankly when it comes to childbirth...the best made plans...etc etc...Just want TinyKatsu to be delivered safely, that's the main thing.

sb, trying for a second baby in the ward...wow. It was months before I stopped saying "Get the hell away from me!" if MrKatsu so much as looked at me in an "interested" way. :)

Hi Otta, I know what you mean, but I'm guessing that your wife didn't have a Caesarian? Because it's really difficult when you can hardly move, to get out of bed in the middle of the night (in my case, with drip and catheter in place) to lift your baby out of the "fishtank". Let alone feed, comfort or change nappies! Not that I'm trying to gain sympathy or anything, but just saying.... Totally understand about inconsiderate people, but I think it's a great idea. If it's any consolation, I found it impossible to sleep on the wards too, even when partners were sent home at 10pm. Babies would cry and wake each other up (it was like a chorus of crying babies), people were on the phone, there was always an "call" going off i.e. someone trying to get help from a midwife.

Thanks everyone for all your helpful responses. It looks like I will be having a caesarian again, and one of my worries is feeding in the first early days. One of my closest friends had a Caesarian and basically couldn't really feed her son, didn't get the help/care she need - finally her baby ended up in Intensive Care because he had got badly dehydrated! while he was in a hospital...! When I had MiniKatsu I was so paranoid about this, the first night afetr my Caesarian I begged my husband to get him to stay in the NICU that night even though it meant I wouldn;t see him for another day. Because then I knew he would be fed and looked after for one night at least. And I know there are women who are up and about after the C-sections, but frankly I could hardly move till the next day. I remember a nurse (auxiliary) walking me to the shower and leaving me there. When my maternity pad fell on the floor and I just couldn;t bend down to pick it up - I had to flag down a nurse (?) to help me and I remember she wasn;t impressed. (Might be oversharing here, sorry) Pickle, I know what you mean about him getting a good night's rest - I am hoping that he will be able to get a proper sleep at home during the day. There just seems to be more help available during the day, and at night you are bascailly left on your won to cope (or not).

Hi, just wondered if anyone has had recent experience of giving birth at Kings. I've heard that partners are now allowed to stay overnight in the post-natal ward, is this true? Any tips would be much appreciated eg did you bring your own mattress, bedding etc for your partner? Also, I was wondering if it was worth trying to get a private room? When I had Minikatsu, we were in William Gilliat for nearly a week and it was difficult in the ward, neither of us could get any sleep. Hopefully, this I won't be in there for that long and to be honest, I doubt we could swing it money-wise anyway. BUT, just so I have explored all options - is there such as option? And how much do they cost? Is it worth it? Any advice gratefully received! Hi - just in case anyone is searching for info about this, I have just got back from Kings and this time round was much better than my previous stay in early 2009. I don;t know if I was lucky and it wasn;t too busy or if they have had a overhaul of the systems etc, but this time round I felt the staff (midmives, maternity support staff etc) had much more time and I really cannot fault their care and attention. Sterile bottles and teats are freely available, you don't have to ask, just get them from the kitchen. Partners can definitely stay overnight - we didn;t even have to ask anyone. MrKatsu brought in a self-inflating sleeping mat (Vango - the thickest one) and a thin blanket which was fine for short naps during the night. It is impossible to sleep on the upright chairs. The wards are impossibly hot so bring in flip flops (for partners too). For obvious reasons partners have to be fully clothed at all times, but MrKatsu also had a pair of shorts which he changed into once the wards were "quiet" for the night. There is room to lie the mat on either side of the bed if you rearrange the cot. I asked for a side room but none were available, but it was OK - I was only in for 2 nights and the other people on the ward were really considerate at night. We tried to be as discreet as possible ie no talking after lights out and MrKatsu didn't wander around the ward outside visiting times. I had an elective c-section so if any one has any specific questions about that, then PM me. Don't know if I will be able to reply promptly as I am still in post baby haze! (Edited for feedback)

hellosailor, we got an oil-filled heater with a thermometer which comes on when the temp drops during the night. It meant that MiniKatsu's room was toasty and warm all night, even when the heating went off at 10.