tarafitness

circlepsychology Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Some people have found alcohol challenges useful > in becoming sober (some websites and books on > this) and a book by Catherine Gray - the > unexpected joy of becoming sober. > > If anybody is really struggling, we also have an > addiction specialist at Circle Psychology > Partners, Laura Smart. She has availability from > April on Lordship lane > www.circlepsychologypartners.co.uk Ooh yes, good point, challenges are a great way to assess how your body responds when you eliminate something for a set period. Annie Grace, author of This Naked Mind (which is such an excellent read/listen), runs a free 30 day challenge called?The Alcohol Experiment.? You get a daily email with tips and videos, as well as access to the challenge site where you can find more info/support, journal your experiences throughout the 30 days, and connect with others (if you wish). I've read that 30 days might not be long enough to see health changes in full.? I'm 69 days in and feel a lot better than I did at 30.? A popular challenge is the 100 Day Sober Challenge.? Clare Pooley set herself that number of days, and then blogged about it.? Her blog led to a book called The Sober Diaries, which is very funny and at times incredibly touching.? It's also so relatable if you're a mum! Other books-wise: yes, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober is a fantastic read!? I also enjoyed Quit Like a Woman, Blackout, Sober Curious, Alcohol Lied to Me and We are the Luckiest (all listened to as audiobooks read by the authors themselves).? I'd love to discuss some of these with anyone else who has read them.? A few of these books also have associated facebook support groups, and there are online community sites such as Soberistas and Club Soda, the latter being a great source of information regarding low/no alcohol drink options/companies, venues that stock them, and forthcoming events.? Oh yeah, and they've recently started up a Club Soda podcast, which seems quite fun, with interviews and helpful info :)? I've also been listening to back episodes of the Home Podcast, which was one run by Holly Whitaker and Laura McKowen (two of the authors from the list above) for a few years.

We also had no luck on this forum or with Koru, possibly because we've got two children which presents more complications in terms of pickups (youngest still at nursery). I know a couple of people who have had great success with them though. There are a couple of facebook groups that might help, like East Dulwich Mums, and another which has the same name as this forum (though I'm not convinced is related). Good luck!

Soylent Green Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I became virtually tee-total two and a half years > ago when I was diagnosed with a chronic liver > condition (not alcohol related). Although I do > not miss it on a day to day basis, I still find > social occasions difficult. There reaches a point > in the evening when you feel a chasm between you > and your 'merry' friends, whose loud, slightly > incoherent banter is no longer amusing to the > stone cold sober. At this point I usually bow out > gracefully, but it leaves me feeling isolated. You > have to be brave to go to a party and not drink, > especially as unlike quitting smoking, no one > congratulates you for giving up drinking. They > are more likely to make a joke about it and > commiserate without sympathy or empathy. I totally agree, and this has been a common theme throughout the quit-lit I've been reading. ?It's been such a revelation, in as much as disclosing to me my own complicity in the alcohol brainwash that (Western) society undergoes. ?Despite alcohol being a highly addictive and harmful drug, for which there is no safe minimum, its consumption is actively encouraged and pushed onto others.? Advertising for it is everywhere.? Greeting cards are adorned with it.? As children it's omnipresent, and kids know of it as a 'special grown up liquid' that only adults drink, and therefore something to look forward to when they are themselves of that age. ? One of the triggers that prompted my booze break happened at work drinks in the run up to Christmas.? I was talking to a colleague whom I discovered doesn't drink.? I asked her if it was a 'religious thing' (embarrassing point #1 - it was none of my business, and she didn't owe me an explanation!), and when she told me that it was simply because she didn't like the taste, I then proceeded to tell her about all the alcoholic drinks that were 'actually quite tasty', and even encourage her to try mine - WTF?! This seemed perfectly normal behaviour at the time (probably because I was tipsy), but afterwards I did look back and think it troubling that I was trying to push alcohol on someone who was perfectly happy without it.? I imagine that some part of this was due to the fact that I was envious/incredulous of her happiness, as I was relying on alcohol to give me mine. Also, alcohol - ethanol - is a vile tasting substance that can kill you if you drink it in its pure form.? It only 'tastes nice' when we mask the flavour and/or drink enough that we develop a tolerance/taste for it.? She was right to stick to her unpoisoned orange juice! I've read that if you tell people you've stopped drinking, you find that - without prompt or invitation - many people start telling you of the many reasons why they don't need to do so themselves.? How they can take it or leave it, only drink a few times a week, really like the taste, etc... I experienced a bit of this myself last week, and I can't complain at all because I'm convinced I did the exact thing myself.? I know that despite previously finding IPAs really foul, I'd got to the point where I was beginning to like some less-hoppy styles.? I also found other people's non-drinking a threat to my own drinking, and I'm pretty certain that on more than one occasion, I've repeated that awful "I don't really trust people who don't drink" phrase - as if imbibing a mind-altering substance that removes your inhibitions makes you *more* trustworthy?? :) I haven't been out a great deal since I stopped drinking, certainly not to any proper parties.? I'm a bit apprehensive at the thought - not because I think I'll be tempted to drink (that happened last night when my toddler was being an absolute nightmare) - but because of what you've described, that being on a different level to your peers... nobody wants to be the odd one out eh?? I'm not pregnant so I have no 'excuse' not to drink.? How funny is that, that I need an excuse 'not to'.? You never have to justify your reasons to not snort a line of coke, and nowadays it's perfectly acceptable to turn down an offered cigarette.? Honestly, the last couple of months have been such an eye-opener to me!

LondonFermentation Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I quit booze in Dec 2018 and never looked back. > Happy to chat more :) yay! that's awesome. I'll get in touch :)

Angelina Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I don't drink but it sounds like you need to > explore a whole new way of life - things like > mindfulness, yoga, meditation - all things that > help you manage your emotions and wellbeing - > everything that alcohol helps you hide/ ignore 9in > the short term anyway). Thank you, that's excellent advice. I've recently started a local yoga class on the weekend and I'm absolutely loving it - not least for being about to carve out a bit of me-time! I tried mindfulness meditation a few years ago, but didn't keep up the practice. I've got the 'Serenity' app which I'm finding helpful - when I remember to do it! I know it will be helpful when I get back into it properly. I've read that alcohol can infantilise you to a certain extent - if you use it to manage your emotions. Your emotional development stunts, and can even cease if you're using it to suppress and numb experiences that are difficult or painful. I think also that - because of the addictive nature of alcohol - the more you use it to cope with life when it gets tricky, the more opportunities you will find to drink, as everyday situations that you were previously able to handle, start to feel insurmountable without a large glass of vino to take the edge off. I know that was certainly getting to be the case with me!

Hi fellow parents/carers. Like a large number of people, I resolved to take a break from alcohol during January.? The run up to Christmas and the NY had seen a marked increase in my alcohol?consumption, and subsequently my weight.? I was also experiencing a kind of numbing mind fog, which I thought might be exacerbated by the booze (as well as an increasing sense of anxiety and unease - which I assumed was unrelated, but have since realised was very much not). A week or so into my short term sobriety stint, I started assessing my relationship with alcohol, and decided to do a bit of reading on the matter.? I'm not going to go into too many details on this post, except to say that I discovered that I fell into the category of 'grey area drinker':? Not a 'very occasional glass or two of wine' girl, but also not a steaming-drunk, blacking-out, morning-drinking type either.? I found that more and more I was increasingly becoming reliant on that glass of wine at the end of the day, to 'help me cope' with the chaos around mealtimes and the trauma that often can be the bedtime routine.? Mummy juice was in full flow... Wine O'clock anyone?? Is it too early for gin?? etc... It all helps, right?? Except when it doesn't. It's really hard to find support for parents - or just anyone really - wanting to quit/control alcohol who doesn't identify with the 'alcoholic' label, and who hasn't hit rock bottom.? AA would be entirely inappropriate for me (not least because I'm an atheist), and the only nearby SMART meeting is on a weekday (it happens to be a day I'm not working, but I've been told I can't take my toddler with me, so that counts that out!).?? I didn't find hard to quit alcohol itself - before I was even half way through Alan Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol I knew that I wouldn't drink again.? However it has still been challenging to change my habits and mindset.? To develop healthier coping strategies for life as a working parent of small children.? To learn how to cope with cravings, and to be able to sit with the emotions that I'm not able to soften/dampen down with alcohol any more, no matter how uncomfortable that may feel. It really feels like alcohol is so deeply entrenched in our culture, not only as Brits, but also as parents, particularly Mums, and it's not something I've even so much as questioned until now.? I find this really startling, and I'd love hear from anyone else who is also sober/teetotal/alcohol-free/a non-drinker or just sober curious, as it seems that the only people I know who don't drink are pregnant!? I've read/listened to a tonne of interesting and inspirational 'quit-lit' lately, and I would dearly love to discuss this all some more, so PM me if you're interested in doing so. Cheers! (haha) Tara

I saw a man clearing stuff in the front garden the other day. No activity since. Such a strange waste of land on a great road. The houses look tiny - I think either 2 houses, or flats would be better suited to the space - fair enough if they're affordable, but they're no good to anyone in their current state!

Same thing happened to our electrician, and his van was old and inconspicuous looking, so they'd clearly been watching him beforehand. Took the whole van and abandoned it after removing the contents... They then sold the lot at a car boot sale, and some of his more expensive equipment ended up on ebay, hence how he was able to track it down and find out how they got rid of his stuff. His kids' stuff like wellies were in there, and they stole and sold them too! Scumbags :(

PlantPower Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > I would just comment that you appear to be very > overly positive about Oddbox, hence either a > friend/family or employee of the company. It is a > bit unnerving that you are going so far to be a > fan! What a strange comment to make. I'd say the primary reason I use the EDF is to get and make recommendations for companies/people I rate. I'm sure this is probably true for a great deal of other users. What is so different about what Sue has done? Personally I'm glad of her post as I'm a big Oddbox fan and was only too happy to add my personal recommendation too, and to recommend Field & Flower. > I am a passionate vegan myself, but we can't > advocate a single company or product if we are > actually commercially connected. > > Plants and peace. M This is an even strange comment, considering that in one of your previous posts you appear to do just that :) Sue Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I haven't had any other veg boxes in London, so > far as I recall. I think I had an Able and Cole > box once but not in London. I wasn't sufficiently > impressed to continue with it, but my daughter > (not living in London) likes them. I used to use Local Greens (not sure if they're still going) but couldn't get past all the leeks I seemed to accumulate, so I'm very glad to have found Oddbox :)

We absolutely love getting our weekly Oddbox delivery. I deliberately don't check the website ahead for details of 'what's in the box', as it's such fun to open it on the day and see what the goodies are inside. We get the weekly large fruit and veg box, and I would say it's very good value for money. We get fruit and veg that are simply not available near where we live - last week it was bright red Asian Pears, and the week before we got some Jerusalem Artichokes that add a lovely earthiness to any soup. We regularly get rainbow carrots, that are so vibrant in colour. In addition, I really enjoy reading the little pamphlet that comes with the box and explains what's inside, and where it originated, and there's always a weekly recipe or two. Really adds a personal touch. They're very upfront about what goods are simply surplus, as opposed to odd shaped etc. We've had some cracking shapes and sizes of fruit though - gigantic pears and apples, and also tiny versions of them too. We've been getting kiwis that are double or triple the regular size! It's mostly loose produce in the box, but sometimes they'll have things like spinach, salad, blueberries, grapes etc in plastic packaging, which is possibly unavoidable? I also think it's great for my kids to see different types of fruit and veg, as opposed to the regular repetitive offerings in our local supermarket. We also use Field & Flower for our regular free range meat and fish box. They're multi-award winning and sell top quality traceable goods. Their boxes are fully customisable - unlike Oddbox - which is great as we change the contents of ours regularly.

Emma @ EH Physio is a highly skilled physiotherapist who specialises in women-specific health issues.

BrandNewGuy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > As you can probably tell, I love 'em :) haha yes, I get that impression! I'm pretty sure I've seen some of these a few times, I recognise the shape of their heads. Not amongst the highly organised buggy mobs though :)

The crows in PR park are becoming a bit of a menace to those with young children! Yes, they are super bright and have worked out that buggies containing toddlers are likely to be covered in crumbs and other snack debris. They follow you round the playground and mob the buggies - so cheeky! They show zero fear of parents/children, and I'm sure if I held out a hand with food they'd come and take it. Definitely not so wild, those ones :) On the subject - are there different types? some are luscious black, and others more scrawny and grey, do we have ravens and rooks? I know I have beautiful jays in the garden since bringing back some acorns from sydenham hill woods - did you know they stash and bury them, just like squirrels!

Plenty of foxes near Peckham Rye, we see them in the garden a lot. This cheeky young one was trying to bury what looked like an orange ball in our lawn the other day :)

Melihoople Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Yes it's great!! But I think only running on > Fridays for the last few years, which we can't do > :( The website shows Mondays and Wednesdays too, if you scroll down a bit... :)

Sue Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > tarafitness Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > It's horrendous to cross round there, I can't > > believe there's no sort of pedestrian crossing > in > > place, considering how many children and dogs > use > > enter the woods via Cox's Walk. > > > There has been a consultation and pedestrian > crossings will be installed, I think in January. > > There's a thread about it on here somewhere. Excellent, thank you for sharing!

It's horrendous to cross round there, I can't believe there's no sort of pedestrian crossing in place, considering how many children and dogs use enter the woods via Cox's Walk.

tomskip Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > When you say private, what do you mean? as in not a large group. My 5 yo had a one-to-one session recently, which he really enjoyed. I was hoping that I could have a session with just my 2 boys and an instructor goldilocks Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Sounds like you need to take them swimming for fun > for a while to get your 5 yr old to a point where > he likes water. Having a noodle and goggles at > all times is probably ideal. Once they stop being > scared they'll learn at lessons! My 5 year old > went through a phase of not wanting to get her > face wet, crying in lessons etc. We went on > holiday and she went in the pool every day and > just started to love it, then when we got back > lessons were much better. That's brilliant advice, thank you :)

Thank you for your responses :) 5 year old is very nervous around water and won't get in by himself, so I thought having his younger (far more confident) brother in the pool with him might help. 5yo has had a private half hour lesson at Dulwich leisure centre, but it was eye wateringly expensive, so was hoping I might be able to combine a lesson for them both.

I'd like to get private lessons for both my 5 and 2 year old, at the same time. Is that a thing? Has anyone done similarly? I'd love to hear your experiences and/or recommendations. Thanks, Tara.

Good points, re the volume of people talking and electric guitars. Maybe it just doesn't need to be at ear splitting volume then? :)

Another recommendation for Hamish, we've used him several times now in the past few years.

I could 100% recommend contacting Simon Fayers from London Bespoke Carpentry. [email protected] 07773 645855 I was recommended him by a friend whose stairs he'd managed to stop creaking (when others had failed). He came and made the incredibly unsafe stairs to the loft in our new place less terrifying (there were no risers at all, just a large gap between each stair that was plenty big enough for a toddler to fall through). He did a great job and you wouldn't know that the stairs hadn't always looked as they do now. You might have to wait a good few weeks for him to do the work, as he's quite popular, but that's the mark of a good carpenter I suppose?

We've owned cats for well over a decade now, and have never quite found the right person to look after them while we've been away. We've either had to repeatedly chase for updates, or they've been unable to administer medication, or just haven't been experienced/knowledgeable enough to notice strange behaviours (like our cat not using the litter tray for the entire week we were away). Long story short, we've finally found the perfect person to look after our cats while we're away. Not only is Audrey friendly, a great communicator and a cat owner herself, she is also training to be a veterinary nurse, which means she's incredibly knowledgeable and very capable with cats who are shy, have special requirements etc... We booked her through 'Cat in a Flat' and will not hesitate to use her again.

I went there a few months ago and they had a live band playing. I think she was a young jazz singer with a wonderful voice. The problem was that despite it being indoors, and not the largest venue, they had her microphone on, and the bands' too. It was so unnecessary, and meant that if my friend and I wanted to say a word to each other we were literally shouting. Live music - great, just don't amplify it, it doesn't need it in such a small room. My ears were ringing for ages afterwards!