daizie

Haha!! Computedshorty excellent stuff!

Crocodile Tears Meaning False tears / insincere sorrow Origin Crocodiles, after eating, shed excess salt from glands just beneath each eye. According to the Ancient Egyptians, after the animal had devoured its victim it would immediately appear to be crying with remorse. The Egyptians coined the phrase and applied it to their double-dealing country folk who showed insincerity or flase sorrow for their actions .

As Sure As Egss Is Eggs Meaning Is used to describe asolute cerainty about something . Origin In fact, it is a simple misquote which has passed into common usage . In formal logic and maths the formula 'x is x' is used to describe complete certainty. It is unclear how or when 'x is x' became 'eggs is eggs' but it is known Charles Dickens used the phrase 'eggs is eggs' in The Pickwick Papers, published 1837. Maybe Dickens was joking, or playing on words, or possibly it was a simple mistake that proved amusing enough to be left unchanged .

Blimey, never knew that ::o

I like this one . Saved By the Bell Although the phrase is associated with boxing, the origin is supposed to lie at the Horse Guard Parade in London. One night, during the Victorian era, a guard was famously accused of being asleep on duty. He denied the charge and claimed he had heard the main bell of Big Ben chime 13 times at midnight, instead of the usual 12. Such was the seriousness of the charge the clock mechanism was checked and it was discovered a cog was out of line and Big Ben would indeed chime 13 times instead of 12. On that evidence, the guard was freed - well and truly saved by the bell .

ears

Gone Round The Bend Meaning Is to unkindly infer someone has gone mad Origin In the 1900s, the Victorians built hospitals in which to confine the mentally unsound. At the time stately homes were built with long, straight driveways in order that the building could be seen from the main road in all its splendour, albeit from a distance. The mental homes were placed at the end of long, curved driveways so that they would remain unseen, and therefore if a person had 'gone round the bend' it meant that they had been confined .

Haha! I like that :)

Not A Sausage Meaning A way of describing either something as free of charge or ones own self as being penniless. Origin It is derived from another example of the cockney ryhming slang of London, where sausage and mash was a staple diet between the 17th and 18th centuries. To be without ' sausage and mash' is to be without cash .

Bobs your Uncle Meaning To reach a satisfactory conclusion through minimum effort Origin Came into use following the appointment in the 1890s of Arthur Balfour to Secretary of State for Ireland. Balfour was a suprise - few thought he was qualified. It became known he was the nephew of British Prime Minister Robert Gascoyne-Cecil and people said with a wink that anything was possible if Robert was your uncle .

Who to win ?

Hehehe :))

Ok reetpetite, will try this next :)

Laughmytitsoff HAL

Any one religous im suspicous of ..

LOL, No, gloomy all year round .

MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.

merry syphilis and a happy gonorrhea

HaHa! SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

LOL Brum . WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't care less anyway and you could use the saved energy to Hoover the house afterwards .

The best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket .

Another go tonight. Bought a griddle, ?20. Made all difference. M&S Rump. Spot on!

Thought you was cooking me fillet steak jimmy you cheap skate

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

In my experience people always/usually change for the worse once they have kids, especially the older they are when they have them. Ive lost a number of friends this way. Good riddance I say .