KateMontero

"Sonia Cleaner" I have had so much trouble finding a decent cleaner over the years but this woman really sorted me out (and I'm demanding about eco products etc) She will come to your house and do a needs assessment and have a chat with you before you make any commitment and she's very honest - she recommended I have less time than I was asking for... Plus her cleaners clean windows (inside and out) and do other things normally considered beyond the call of duty. PM me for more info. Kate

I recommend going back to work! Seriously. My weight loss stalled when my baby was 4 months old, and he's now 9 months. Since then I've been a stone heavier than I used to be and I don't believe a word about breast feeding helping you lose weight. 2 weeks back to work and I've already lost 4 pounds. Still stuck with stretch marks, bad tummy and ever fluctuating breast size though!

I had this discussion with my husband during the week as we were thinking about when to try for another child. He said he's happily take a month or two off, but we could not decide when he might do this. Firstly, I breastfeed and expressing doesn't work well enough for me that I could produce enough that way. Therefore I'd have to take the first 6 months which are the hard months. Imagine then having to go back to work so he can have the next few months of fun?! I found myself saying no to that. I also felt tied to my child as a mother until he was about 7 months old. I didn't want to leave him for long at all. I think this is just my maternal instinct as I couldn't rationalise the feeling. In addition, when my husband looks after our son for an hour I will return to find the house like a bomb site, nothing for dinner and the TV and internet on, etc. I know this might seem a minor concern but imagine going to work and coming back to a huge tip every evening? I think it would be a bit stressful. Plus there would be a lot of take away! So, yes he would like to and I like the idea of shared childcare in theory. However, it doesn't seem practical. If we could split the working week 50/50 then I would love it. I could work 2.5 days and so could my husband. Or he could have a token month at the end of maternity leave (for us that would be him taking over months 8-9) which would be a lot better than nothing but possibly misses the point!

Mine therefore had a growth spurt for 4 months as he also went from being a fairly good sleeper at this stage to sleeping like a newborn and waking at 5am. He is now 9 months and we still have frequent insanely bad nights. Although sometimes he sleeps through as well. Still wakes at 5am though. I think I tried everything in the world to remedy his sleep problems and literally nothing worked. I could have saved myself a lot of frustration by accepting it and napping in the afternoon ;)

Hello I have had so many varied and interesting, and still ongoing replies to my thread re. step-children, that it made me think about opening up the discussion. It seems there is a lot of different advice re. disciplining children and treating 'children as children', versus the (what I would call more liberal?) approach of listening and communicating and explaining things to your child. Now, I know very little. My parents were hugely disciplinarian and never talked things through with me. I did as I was told or got punshed. I often hated it at the time, but on reflection I'm quite grateful that I had those boundaries. On the other hand I think a good dose of communication is also helpful for both parties. My husband however is totally liberal. Punishment in any form is rare. I've only heard him raise his voice to his children twice in four years! And, as a result I think they take advantage of him. But that's just my view. In addition, my only 2 friends with children over 3 are of the liberal mindset and will try and sit calmly explaining things to their tantruming screaming children. To be honest, I don't see that it works very well and sometimes I think it produces fairly spoilt children. Although, I like both children in question and they are very confident to talk to adults. So my question is, how were you raised and how do you raise or plan to raise your children? I'd be very interested to hear what people think about this. Although I think I know already where SteveT is coming from! (kindly joke in case that didn't come across). Kate x

Mine is often green! Yours has probably been green other times too but you just don't know because you didn't see it. No cause for concern methinks.

Well I haven't tried the infant insert, but my baby also hate being swaddled in a sling when he was tiny. However, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that it is a waste of money. When he is bigger he will probably love it and you'll have months if not years of good service. I found plenty of the baby things I bought took time for my baby to appreciate - most notably the bumbo which I was about to sell ... and then at 7 months it was suddenly the most useful purchase I had! Perhaps you could go to one of those sling trying out meets and then buy the one he most likes second hand until the ergo is useful to you? ps I also found when my son was a newborn his preferences changed a lot, and it would take him a few tries of everything to get used to it - including baths and nappy changing, and definitely slings.

Unlike Nicole my husband and I started all wrong. I'm basically with Steve T in that I believe I should have taken a more disciplinarian stance from the start. However, at 26 years old with no experience of children I didn't know how to do this and my husabnd thought it was a bad idea (based on his own non-disciplinging step-mother whom he loves). Now I've had a baby and become more mature I find myself acting in a more disciplinarian way. In fact, I believe it's this sea change in my attitude that has upset the girls. They wrongly saw me as their "friend" before I had a baby (not that I strove to be their friend, either), and now I'm acting in a more parental way re. instigating clearing up, helping out, turning down the TV, etc. all possibly at the worst time as they are currently rebelling against all discipline. So I'm sure this inconsistency hasn't helped. However, (SIGH) although I can see it's a pain in the arse from their point of view I'm hardly draconian and I don't think it warrants being hated on such a grand level. My other theory is that they can't 'risk' hating their mum and dad because they don't live fully with either, so maybe they think if they took out their anger on their own parents it might be dangerous or break the relationship(???) so they target me instead as they perceive no risk in hating me. Maybe, who knows? Who indeed? Seems happy step-families are almost extinct. Mine used to be a happy step-family. The girls were even bridesmaids at our wedding and got on well with their step-grandparents and aunties... Hard to get used to being the enemy. Really feel for you Nicole. It sounds like your step-son is more actively disruptive and that must be a massive strain. How does your partner deal with it?

Hi A couple of points: I've always let the girls have alone time with their dad. Often whole week-ends where I've gone away, and always a minimum of an afternoon or morning but usually a whole day. I can see it still might not feel like enough. Since reading these posts my husband and I have also agreed he'll take them out on wednesdays evenings alone so they get even more 1:1 time. And, their mother has never met me but I believe she in uncomplementary about me. I think there is Chinese whispers though, as their mother only gets the girls' reports of me and what I say (often misinterpreted) and so her opinions are based on theirs. Not very sound! In addition, we do have a 9 month old baby, who is their brother and I allow them full access to him all the time (which I should). However, I can't be vanishing for the whole week-end. If I leave my son with them then I don't get to spend time with him which is essential as I'm now back to work so week-ends are precious to me. But if I vansh with him, they don't get to spend time with him and that's also not fair. Complicated, eh? I think I'm pretty good as a step-mother, or at least I used to be, but not coping very well with the hostility. It brings out the worst in me. Thanks everyone for the comments though. For every wicked step mother cliche, it seems their is a wronged stepchild cliche. It's nice to hear more positive accounts from ex-step-children as well as the rotten ones. I know both are valid, but sometimes you only hear the bad. Kate x

Waitrose has a good breakfast muffin recipe, and if you make small ones (cup cake size) it makes about 50!!! If you put them in the freezer it's an easy breakfast. This recipe is dead easy to make as well - you just put all the ingredients together and mix!

Was it Britney Spears???

It is very difficult for me to understand why a child (or children) being unpleasant and disrespectful has such a big effect on an adult who isn;t directly related. I find it almost impossible to endure the long week-ends (Friday-Monday) when we have the girls at our house because I can't seem to float above the attitude... Thanks for all the replies to this post - they have been interesting.

Yes it's happened to me, but I don't have a good postman

I think Rachel Cusk's On Becoming a Mother is brilliant. But also a little scary ;)

Cedar House nursery at Maudsley Hospital is open to community and gets great ofsted reviews. I think the wait is about 5-6 months but I'm not totally sure. It's a fantastic nursery with a great baby to staff ration - currently 2 babies to one staff member in the baby room my baby is in.