hellosailor

I'm not sure how why I chose it, I just found something pleasing about it as a phrase, but I have just googled it and wiki came up with this. "Hello, sailor" is a sexual proposition made to a sailor, presumably by a prostitute or promiscuous woman supposing the sailor to be male and sexually frustrated after a long time at sea. This usage has become a camp catchphrase, implying that sailors stay away at sea so long that they can't tell the difference between a hooker and a man in drag, or that sailors are commonly homosexual.[citation needed] Hello, Sailor in this usage is also the title of several books, including one by Eric Idle and another about gay life in the British merchant marine, as well as a 2007 Liverpool museum exhibit about gay sailors.[1] "Hello, sailor" is used as a running joke in the interactive fiction-text adventure Zork universe. I am not a prostitute so maybe should have gone for a different forum name. Hellocastingdirector might have been more fitting.

Oooh please divulge more CC!

SeanMacGabhann Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I don't doubt for a second this thing exists and I > thing generally the media have a mixed-report on > how they have reported it > > But this many people diagnosed in ED? Not a > chance... people are "developing" symptoms. End of I think it is true Sean - on the Alleyn's website it confirms that all 5 children have tested positive for swine flu. But I don't think it's that alarming as from what I understand it has mutated since killing people in Mexico and is no more harmless to anyone who catches it here than normal flu, so anxiety is mostly down to media hype I think...

A week off school for all the kids? They must be happy as pigs in shit.

Caz, if that is true then yours is without a shadow of a doubt the best yet! :))

Quite right Dukesdenver, I was actually undecided as to whether to name check 'That Don't Impress me Much' OR 'Man, I feel Like A Woman' but the first has the edge for me. Either way there is not much to choose between which is a worse musical crime, we are stuck firmly between a rock and a hard place on this one... Did you read about that murder case last year where a woman was accused of shooting her husband point blank with a shotgun while he slept in a chair, and her defense was that rather than it being murder it was in fact a terrible accident whereby she was doing a sexy strip tease for him along to the music of 'Man, I Feel Like A Woman' and part of her role-play included her holding a shotgun (loaded) presumably in an effort to come over all sexy and confident and empowered and, oooh, Shania-like, and at the final triumphant chord of the song she banged it on the ground for emphasis and it discharged, killing her husband instantly. This is a true case...see link www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2006/jun/09/ukcrime.ukguns Thinking about it now, I wonder if she WAS in fact almost telling the truth, but in fact what happened was that when her husband, wired with excited anticipation, realised that he was going to have to sit through the full 3 minutes of 'Man I Feel Like A Woman' and the prospect of his wife giving him a lap dance was insufficient to ease his horror and he begged her to shoot him in the face. Just a thought.

Has anybody got any interesting claims to fame? To kick the ball rolling mine are... My twin brother and I were once ejected by an aperplectic Chris Tarrant from a coca cola sponsored Capital Radio road show after Kid Jensen jeered at my brother's shorts and we retaliated by knocking over a record breaking model of the Houses of Parliament made out of coke cans. (we were 5) My great great grandfather was the Band Master on the Titanic who played the violin, along with the rest of his quartet, until shortly before the ship went under, in order to try to soothe people and keep them calm, even though he knew that the death of him and everyone of his band members was certain. He is even a featured character in the Leo 'n' Kate debacle of a film! Mark Owen from Take That once asked me out! It was post the first incarnation of Take That .... in his wilderness years to be fair, but still! If only I'd been a Take That fan! I used to share a flat with the girl whose dad was fingermouse (the man with the finger, not the mouse itself) and consequently the real fingermouse puppet from the series lived in a shoebox in our flat. Ooh, guests were impressed! I was once in a Dove Advert. but in the end they decided to dub me and put it on in Germany as I was deemed 'too sarcastic' for British audiences. Eh?! Us Brits love a bit of irony! what claims to fame do other forumites hide?

Almost forgot! That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain. In the name of all that is holy please make it stop.

oh bugger it didn't work

I think she's going for this look Charlie http://www.spike.com/blog/man-charged-with/73021

Oh God, how could I have forgotten to list I Will Survive? it's beyond dire... slightly off topic I know but how about songs with lyrics that make you shake your head with disbelief every time you hear them...I still remember having to rewind my friend's cassette to check that I HAD heard Wayne right on his '94 classic. G-Spot - Wayne Marshall baby look into my eyes when we're dancing in the club i run my hands down your thigh, baby that is not enough, if you think im wanna take you home after the first night, with all the things that's associated, damn right! (chorus) cuz tonight i wanna hear you say 'ooh aah' when i hit your g spot baby, i wanna hear you moan and groan with delight,(oh yeah) let me hear you say'ooh,aah' when i hit your g spot baby, i wanna hear you moan and groan tonight(oh yeah) for ecstacy , we dont have to go to far, where ever she is my baby, im sure that we can find her in the dark, just hold back, relax babe, get ready for humping, and if exstacy is waiting, baby im comin, comin I don't know which would be worse if you were about to 'get to know someone better' for the first time, them starkly instructing you to 'get ready for humping' or the chillingly clinical and brilliantly seedy promise that if you come back to there's you'll get 'all the things thats associated'. Lyrically Wayne manages both. legendary.

Dance With My Father Again - Luther Vandross - or should I say van DROSS! The Greatest Love of All - Whitney Houston. I remember in my under age drinking years at the Brockwell Park Tavern in Herne Hill, (now the Florence), there was a karaoke night every Wednesday where the same 6 regulars sang the same 6 songs week after week and there was one particularly joyless and competitive woman who always belted this out like a cat in a washing machine....'no matter what they take from me, the can't take awaaay my dignitttty'....they just did love. A Cool Rider - Grease 2 (I know it's not strictly a pop song but girls leaping about to it and shrieking and 'doing the moves' makes me come over all queasy...I know this makes me a mean cow. Don't Stop Me Now - Queen - I may not hate this sooo intensely if it didn't remind me of seeing a bunch of sloshed over-excited sloanes run amuck while roaring along to it in a pub following England Rugby world cup final. Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler - hate it hate it hate it....*instant allergic reaction starts scratching* Love Me Do - The `Beatles - a controversial choice I know but if we had never heard it before and were played it now I maintain that if we were told it was a Westlife release we wouldn't bat an eyelid. *waits for catapults to be loaded and aimed!* Wherever I Lay My Hat - Paul young version. *retches* Things Can Only Get Better - D:REAM (if they are talking about their output then technically they're right.) Don't cha - Pussycat Dolls (Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?') OBNOXIOUS. Reminds me of the soulless, glassy eyed women you see in Weston Super Mare wearing slogan tee-shirts that say things like 'Your boyfriend wants to be with ME' (no offense to WSM, my grandparents live there and I spent every childhood summer trotting up and down the sea front on the lovely lil donkeys)

Thanks for this very useful thread Barry, it's really appreciated, great news to hear that oyster is going live in September.

And who was the boy who head butted the copper?! Frankly stunned I can't remember this from Blackheath folklore - such excitement normally swept round the village like a bush fire!

I was at Alleyn's Keef....ssshhh.;-)

Keef I was also regularly moved on from the dips at that time - perhaps we were dipping together?

Keef I was also regularly moved on from the dips at that time - perhaps we were dipping together?

illegal I believe..

It's not exactly a restaurant or cafe but the CPT don't mind if you take a takeaway in their to have with your pint! :))

I agree HB but I think he just said something fairly innocuous like 'it smells of farts'. I'm not sure how he got dog shi* on his hand - I think it was that it was on someone's shoe and in the scramble to board the coach his hand glanced their foot. I am painting him like some sort of lovable rogue or Dennis The Menace figure whereas actually he was more like an acid tongued nerd who was derided and respected in equal measure. Think more Napoleon Dynamite. Ironically he is now Head of Geography at one of the poshest private schools in London. I very much doubt he has shared these stories with all the little Jemimas and Tabithas who now hang off his every word.

also just remembered that one time my twin brother realised as he took his seat on the coach to go home that he had a tiny fleck of dog shi* on his hand and as a reflex act of repulsion wiped it on the headrest in front of him. There was an assembly the next day in front of the whole school where the culprit was told to come forward or everybody would be punished and when my brother did the decent thing and came clean, the school tried to get my mum to foot the bill for the ENTIRE coach to be re-upholstered. Needless to say she told them to fuck off. Our mum was quite good on the defending her kids front - I also remember when me and my brother were 12 and he was given lines for saying the word 'fart' in class and mum was so outraged that she forbade him to write them and instead got him to write a letter for the teacher explaining that 'fart' was not offensive... 'There is a historical anomaly in that fart is regarded as Anglo-Saxon and has many Germanic cognates, but the form feortan is hypothetical, there being no instance prior to Middle English. The first quotation in the OED is from the charming thirteenth-century lyric ?Sumer is icumen in? (?Summer has arrived?). The context runs: ?bulluc sterteth, bucke verteth,? a line that has caused some academic embarrassment, since the most obvious literal interpretation, namely ?the bullock cavorts; the buck farts,? is regarded as too crude. Consequently, some scholars have preferred to interpret verteth as ?to cavort? or ?to gamble,? even though there is no other contemporary instance of a verb ?to vert.? Thanks mum.

Saw some frightening old photographs over the weekend taken on a school coach trip in the early 90's...who else remembers the following universal 'coach characters' DRIVER: Had a badge telling you his name, so you could direct abuse personally while he sat in silence, reassured that the day he did commit suicide he'd take a busload of bast**** like you with him. GADEGT GEEKS: You got a 'personal stereo' or digital Cassio watch for Christmas? You die, Mummy's boy! BUS-MISSER: Thought it was cool to 'run away and never go back', then panicked and chased the coach out of the car park, suddenly realising the terror of being all alone in paedophilesville. SINGING GIRLS: Girls saw the playing of pop cassettes as an important marking of territory. cue 10 minutes of bleating at the coach driver followed by La Isla Bonita for hours on rotation. ARGUING OVER THE WINDOW SEAT: Actually started on the pavement as best friends who'd pledged to sit together subtly jostled to board the coach first. Then Aisle kid said something softly like 'I get sick i I can't see out of the window.' As his partner charitably moved aside this was followed by, 'haha, not really, twat.' TALL KID: Tall kid always opened the skylight, more to demonstrate tallness than for ventilation. Swiftly followed by other tall kid shutting it again. Repeat to fade. LUGGAGE RACK BOY: shoved up there by bullies. why? because he fit. PUKER: The slick of sand thrown over the mess could not assuage the stench, leading to a rash of copycat chunderings. PRANKSTER: put drawing pins on seats. This happened as soon as anyone stood up. risked tetanus/lock-jaw infection. FONDLING YOURSELF: ever popular comedy manoeuvre that, when done properly and viewed from the correct angle, looked like you were with a lady. MOUSTACHIOED BOY: cutting the bum-fluffed freak's hair with scissors from your pencil case was fit punishment for early development. ANNOYING COKE CAN: because picking it up would make you a swot and therefore 'sad' so everyone put up with the stray can rolling noisily up and down the aisle. Made more interesting by the fact that the coach driver had informed you that if a can rolled under his brakes everybody would be killed instantly.

That story brings me joy Cupid_stunt - :))

nice tip Sean

I'll be there for the first time, looking forward to putting faces to names! What IS the EDF drinks protocol by the way? Do people freely reveal their forum name or stick to their real names?!