hellosailor

I know, it was me that bought it! How funny! We are going to assemble it today! thanks saffron!

thanks so much everyone, that's all useful info and reassuring. I'm going to try wearing a sling round the house more and maybe get a swing to see if she likes that better than the bouncer, and perhaps see if she likes her basket any more in a little while, perhaps she just isn't ready as you say. Buggie, thanks for reply, have tried shush/patting but not with the rolled up towel etc, will try that for sure!

Thanks Cuppa tea and trinity, Trinity - she cries if I put her in her bjorn bouncer (you know, the one all babies are supposed to adore!) and I have thought about getting a swing but am confused about the difference between swings/rockers/vibrating chairs. is a swing different from a vibrating chair - is it basically a battery operated chair that swings backwards and forwards? I've tried swaddling several times, the first time was when she was 3 weeks old and she slept peacefully in her basket, swaddled, for a couple of hours, I really thought it was a miracle! But since then, she hates being swaddled and cries until you take it off, so have given up after several attempts.. When I go out with her I do wear a sling rather than take the buggy and she sleeps happily in that for a couple of hours while I take a walk and do errands, so I was just thinking today that I'd start wearing it round the house more. Cuppa tea it's reassuring that eventually your little one was okay with being put down! I'm happy to find more ways - slings, swing chairs etc - to free up my hands as an answer, but just really hoping that if I 'go with' her need to be held constantly for the next few weeks and find ways to accommodate it like wearing a sling all day rather than somehow trying to actually change the habit, then eventually she will be increasingly okay with being put down...

Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate your reassurances and encouragement! I definitely want to continue to just go with the flow with feeding and I can't really see what the alternative to that is anyway as I would never leave her crying if she was hungry to try and 'space out' the feedings or whatever it is I imagine you would have to do to get feeding into more of a spaced out routine, so she will definitely continue to snaffle whenever she wants.. I thought about everyone's advice on these posts yesterday and tried to work out where my anxiety is coming from and I think the thing that is worrying me most is without doubt the fact that she will not be put down, pretty much ever, awake or asleep, so that I'm pretty much holding her 24 hours a day because if I don't she is either on the verge of crying and constantly fractious or generally full on crying. (except at night when after her last feed she will sleep next to me in our bed between feeds without actually having to be on my chest all night.) Her dad is not at all worried by this (though I would point out that his more laid back attitude must be in part because he is at work all day, using his limbs freely and not holding a baby 17 hours a day from the minute she wakes up, unable to put her down to go for a pee or eat or shower etc unless I'm willing to let her sob for a few minutes while I frantically brush my teeth or something!) as he feels that in time over the coming weeks she will seamlessly start going down for naps at times of our choosing, when awake, in her moses basket or cot, without objection. From my, admittedly totally novice point of view, I can't help feeling that a baby that is mortified if you ever try to put her down in a moses basket even when asleep (she will wake within a couple of minutes and scream to be picked up), let alone when she's awake, will not suddenly be ok with this some days or even weeks later, particularly if you've just given up on even attempting it because it's too upsetting/stressful and so just hold her constantly? If she learns that I will hold her constantly, never attempt to get her to sleep anywhere but my arms and rock her/feed her to sleep, will she really be any different in a few days or weeks as her dad trusts? Because if the answer is that this is likely to be the way things continue unless I do attempt to change it somehow, then I think I would feel the need to do that as not even having times when I can put her down for 20 minutes to wash or eat etc is taking its toll emotionally and physically. I have literally NO CLUE how I would go about that though...

Morning forumites, I would love some advice about my baby who is 5 weeks old now. She is my first baby and I'm still very much trying to get to grips with working out her cues etc, which I'm still finding quite tricky! We have no 'routine', other than we've just started giving her a bath at roughly the same time in the early evening and I tend to go out and about with her in a sling for a couple of hours in the afternoon while she sleeps, but other than that the days are pretty random - and I guess it rattles me a little when mums with babies of a similar age refer to their '7pm feed' or '2pm nap' or whatever as I just don't have anything resembling a schedule that I could refer to! Probably a bad idea as I suspect it's adding to the gnawing feeling of inadequacy but when I dip into the books I've been lent like the baby whisperer, which refers to trying to get your baby into the habit of, for instance, eating, being up for a bit, then napping, I can't really relate to it as my little one naps when she is tired, (or actually quite often, doesn't nap when she is tired! i.e yawning etc, but doesn't go to sleep.) But I guess the point is, I can't imagine how I would decide when she slept rather than her?! It's not that I particularly want to 'impose' a routine on her, it's not as if I have anything else I'm urgently supposed to be doing other than looking after my baby! But more that I'm guessing that having a bit of routine rather than everything being at haphazard times will mean she feels better fed and rested and settled as the days and weeks go by? And also mean that rather than me spending pretty much 24 hours a day lying prone with her on my chest, because she cries if I do anything else, I could do things like, er, have a moment to put the washing machine on, or even have a pee! I suppose I'm also easily rattled by people constantly telling me that unless we get into a routine of sorts, we are 'making a rod for our own backs' etc, and that 'babies thrive on routine and feel more secure if they know things will happen at roughly the same time every day' I'm enjoying the days being random with feeds/sleeps being spontaneous but now that enjoyment is undercut by anxiety that if I don't want everything to be so random for many months to come, I now need to start doing something different somehow. For instance, she won't fall asleep unless it it on my chest, especially after a feed, or her dad's chest, if she is totally conked out then you might be able to pop her in her moses basket by stealth but if she stirred and woke a few minutes later and realised she was in the basket then she would immediately cry as she would realise she wasn't on one of our chests! I have tried soothing her without picking her up immediately but she is inconsolable until she is picked up so I couldn't bring myself not to...the idea of putting her in her basket for a nap at a specific time, when she was awake, and expecting her to sleep, or indeed, the idea of her sleeping in her moses basket at night rather than falling asleep on my chest in our bed and then sleeping beside me in our bed for the rest of the night, feels unimaginable. Similarly, the idea of there being a 7pm feed, then a 10pm feed or whatever, rather than cluster feeding all eve is unimaginable! Is this lack of day to day schedule completely standard for a 5 week old as she's still just too little to think about doing anything else? Does the fact that she won't sleep anywhere but my chest/bed, mean she won't start going in basket, cot in a few weeks? Should I be trying harder to get her to now or just relaxing about it? Ditto with the feeding? Does it matter that sometimes there are 4 hours between feeds, sometimes 1 hour, sometimes a big feed, sometimes a snack? Do babies find their own rough 'schedules' even if you don't do anything or am I indeed 'making a rod for our own backs' by not trying to establish one and will end up with a 6 month old who will only sleep on me, cries if you ever put her down for a minute and feeds several times a night? Sorry for the marathon ramble, my sleep deprived brain struggles to be succinct! I would really appreciate your thoughts....

thanks everyone for your replies, that's really good to know! x

I would really appreciate advice on poo...apologies for those about to enjoy a sunday roast... Our baby is a little over 2 weeks old and ever since she moved on from the meconium stage of the first few days and began normal breast milk mustard poos she has generally pooed several times a day, often during or straight after a feed. However, yesterday and the day before she only did one poo per day, and so far today no poo, though still hoping for one before the day is up! She is however weeing lots, in fact weeing has increased over the same period that pooing has decreased - which I hope is a sign that she is getting enough milk and is hydrated? Also should say that although she has yet to poo today, the lone poo she did do yesterday and the lone poo she did the day before we both 'normal' not changed in any way or constipated. When I consult the web (I know, I know, always a gamble in terms of reassurance!) I find vastly differing accounts of what's normal for a 2 week old - with some sites saying that as long as the baby is pooing once a day then there's no prob, others saying that a 2 week old should be doing 4 or 5 poos a day and yet other baby sites saying that a 2 week old should pretty much be pooing after every feed and therefore up to 12 times a day. If that's the case then it worries me? Is it normal for a 2 week old to go from pooing several times a day to once a day? I'm particularly mindful of it I think because she has cephalhematoma, a hemorrhage of blood between scalp and skull which forms a fluid filled sack on the back of her head from ventouse delivery which tho not common is apparently not something to worry about unless her behaviour changes and should re-absorb in time, but whenever they check it out they ask whether she is weeing and pooing frequently so I can't help worry now that there has been a change...hope I'm just being neurotic...? I know babies can often drop down to pooing once a day or less after about a month but is it a problem that there has been quite a reduction at just 2 weeks old? sorry to fulfill the cliche of angsty poo-monitoring first time parent - but any advice greatly appreciated....

thanks Saffron, that's reassuring too.... x

If anyone has a bednest bedside cot or arms reach co sleeper they would be prepared to lend or sell us then please pm me, thank you

thanks chaps for advice, that's useful it isn't on a ledge or anywhere particularly hot so don't think it's a false reading. am surprised the house is so warm though!

Fellow forumites please can I pick your brains...our baby is less than a week old and I'm getting a bit confused about the room temperature. I know that the temp is supposed to be between 16-20 degs to be within the safety guidelines, and have a gro-egg thermometer. But we have no central heating on and it often reads 22, 23 or even 24 degs. Obviously I can't alter the room temp because the heating is not on so nothing to turn down! The advice I've read seems to say that if the room temp is above 20 degs and you can't alter the temp then you adjust the baby's clothes/remove bedding etc, so strip a baby to the vest or whatever, but it would seem a weird thing to do to strip her to her vest and remove her blanket for sleeping in February? What would you suggest? Advice very much appreciated!

I bought the bee one but second hand on ebay, you can get them very cheaply on there and they are pristine cos of course the baby hasn't used them for very long!

Dulwich DIY have lots of colours

thanks everyone, that's great!

thank you

Does anyone knit, or know someone who knits, things like cardigans for babies? I would like to pay someone to knit a couple of cardigans, nothing too expensive or fancy, would just be nice to be able to pick the colours myself rather than have to go for pale pink or blue with shop bought ones! Please let me know if so! thanks

Hello there, My first baby is due on Feb 13th and would love to meet you if there is a meet happening on 11th, so will keep my eye on this thread! x

Thanks so much for your advice everyone :)

Can someone who knows the answer to this please tell me, thanks! We're having our first baby soon and have bought maxi cosi cabriofix and was intending to buy isofix to go with it. I now realise that isofix is compatible with only certain models and newer cars and although I haven't checked with the manafacturers yet, I'm guessing that our 12 year old golf is not going to be compatible. Assuming it turns out that it isn't, am I right in thinking that there is a way in which you can simply strap the maxi cosi car seat onto the back seat using the regular car seat belt? And that while this is not as super duper as the bang up to the minute safety stuff like isofix, as long as you do this properly, it is still safe? Otherwise, what do you do? buy a new car?? any advice appreciated!

Sue Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > And the florist at Goose Green has Christmas trees > outside already :X I know! If you bought your tree this early it would be brown and crispy by Christmas day! I think we bought ours 2 weeks or even 10 days before the 25th last year and even then I think we peaked too soon and it was pretty well past it by the day itself!

the train goes straight from peckham rye to blackheath and takes about 14 mins. I think that's the easiest way because if you get the train back after, even if it is crowded, you should be able to get on one even if you have to wait for the next one. Or the 484 goes from where you are to lewisham station. From Lewisham station you would walk up a road called Granville Park and find yourself on the heath. I hope you have fun!

we tried to find a shop that would deliver this end too but they all said that paper rounds were a thing of the past, apparently to do with child employment laws etc. But if the shop at the plough does it then it must still be something that happens, please let us know if you find a news agent that does deliver!

Thanks Fuschia, that's kind. I've been scouring those pages and I think it looks as if I should be too, which would be a great relief!

I feel like a real muppet not being able to work all this out for myself, but having trawled lots of sites I'm still pretty confused. I know it will be tricky to say for sure what I may or may not be entitled to just from this general post but my main question is... I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my first. I'm currently self-employed. BUT..I start a new job as a teacher at a school (so PAYE) at the beginning of September term. My pregnancy is a happy accident (!) so I will be starting my new job 17 weeks pregnant - so from my research it looks to me that, completely understandably, my new school will not be required to give me any maternity pay as I will not have worked there for long enough to qualify for it by the time I go on maternity leave. But as far as I can see even though they wouldn't be required to give me financial support, they would have to allow me to return to work with them if I wanted to after maternity leave, even though I will only have worked there for 4 months before having to go off on maternity leave? Second question! I'm confused about other types of maternity pay available to people who don't qualify for pay from their employers - is 'Maternity Allowance' something I would be entitled to from the sounds of my situation? Because from my research it looks as if that is abot ?124 a week which would make a huge difference to me. I'm finding the blurb about maternity allowance confusing though as it keeps referring to it as being a payment given to 'pregnant women' whereas I would have thought it was given to women who had actually had a baby?! (sorry if this is beyond a stupid question...) I know this should probably all be perfectly obvious to me having looked at various sites but having read through lots of stuff I'm still pretty confused. If there is a way to find out if I will qualify for some sort of maternity allowance then it would really put my mind at rest. Please could someone who is an old-hand with this stuff give some advice to a confused first timer? Thank you!

I like DMC and generally find them helpful and efficient, but I have also had a similar prob there. I once rushed to get there for an end of day appt and fearing I'd be late, I actually ran the last couple of roads so I got there, panting, with 2 minutes to spare. The receptionist informed me that I would not be seen as I was 1 minute late. I assured her that I was not as the clock on my phone is set (anal I admit) by the speaking clock to ensure I'm not late for appointments and trains etc! In the end I phoned the speaking clock to show her that it was (by now only about 20 seconds!) before my appointment, but she just kept nodding at the surgey clock and telling me I was 1 minute late. After a few minutes of us quibbling about this I asked for her to get a senior colleague and then she said 'well your appointment should have started 4 minutes ago so you're definitely too late now' as if it was my fault she had kept me arguing in reception! I was not best pleased. Having said that, I think the service there is generally good, but when being 'late' comes down to the difference between your watch and the receptionist's clock, (which was running 2 mins fast) there should perhaps be a better rule. Or the surgey clock needs to definitely be set to the speaking clock! :)