Brendan

I would just like to make it clear that I do not nor have I ever served foie gras.

Whatever it does to a goose it can't be as painfull as trawling through 5 pages of this guff would have been.

At the risk of taking this nonsense seriously, I?ve seen cattle being driven into an abattoir. If you think it is in any way humane you are mistaken. I?m not convinced force feeding a goose is comparatively cruel.

So it?s ok to harvest a child?s liver just as long as you haven?t force fed it?

Fuck pat?, there definitely seems to be a market for an ethically sourced, nasally administered, stimulant. I?d buy it. If I had the time and energy to indulge in such things. Which I don?t. I barely have time to have an espresso and act mildly superior towards a grubby teddy bear that sings Oh Susannah if you squeeze its belly.

?Hurls loosely tied and disturbingly heavy nappy sack.?

Cor. Changing mats at dawn.

Ths is pretty good: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/are-you-scared-yet?-201107194092/

The Daily Mash = Shit! The formulaic lampooning of current events using derivative satire and toilette humour is all just a bit crap it was revealed yesterday. ?It was somewhere between the second paragraph metaphor where a public figure is engulfed in effluent or spontaneously putrefies in a humorous description of events which may or may not be related to something I heard on the new last night and the punchy direct piece of social commentary in the penultimate paragraph that I realised, football mangers being molested by gangs of sex-crazed barbary apes with IBS aside, I had pretty much heard it all before and would much rather click on the picture of the girl in her underwear that I have never clicked on before because I always read the website at work.? Said Jack Mac, a person with a computer and an internet connection, before concluding, ?Oh my god would you take a look at the size of that fucking sentence.?

What surprises me is all the surprise and the sudden attacks of righteous indignation. And meanwhile in funny-coz-its-true world: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/once%11apathetic-nation-now-mildly-annoyed-201107124061/

*Stabs own hand repeatedly with plastic fork*

Ah yes. A splendid evening it was too. Oin and Gloin had aromatic duck as I recall.

You live in a hill?

If the Sun goes down the Swannee what do you think the chances of convincing Ian Hislop to keep pg3 going in the Eye are?

It is more justifiable than buying it for the articles.

Oi!

Well in their defence, if they read the Sun they probably haven?t read anything about all this huff. That, and the Guardian doesn?t have tits.

They used litmus paper to test the ph in the gas chambers you know.

What is the ph of arse?

Fair enough but that Brian May?s a dreamboat.

People are dicks. What you gonna do 'ey?

Nae. Ta wipe and run.

I think a Millwall brick doesn't have the cinnamon.

At the risk of lowering this into the gutter of physiognomy. She would actually be rather good looking if she didn?t have those dead eyes and the waxen, expressionless visage of someone who has learnt not to feel.

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > You can also make a Chelsea brick with them too > ;-) Never understood why someone would put currants and cinnamon in a brick but I do remeber the first time I caught a bus in London a mate of mine picked up a discarded Metro from under the seat and showed me what to do if I ever had to facilitate a swift exit from a sticky situation.