I heard the news today, oh boy..

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

As you were, Private Frazer.

[SeanMacGabhann]

Ah, I think I see your mistake there chicken licken

[mockney piers]

Not to mention Finns going postal, though they do seem to be the only Europeans with 'Voted most likely to shoot his colleagues in a spree' in their year-books.

[Brendan]

Rubbish. We?re doomed!

[Brendan]

On a positive note, Neanderthals enjoyed a broad menu.

Which must have been nice for them.

[giggirl]

Brendan - Find your neutral space. You got a rush. It'll pass. Be seated.

[mockney piers]

actual live coverage of brown's speech at the Mash, weird

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1276&Itemid=28

[lozzyloz]

I wonder what Michael O'Leary and Stelios will be thinking about this? Perhaps an upgrade on the in-flight meal to remain competitive. I want one now.

[Huguenot]

How can you travel under your own rocket power?

[mockney piers]

Quite the most bizarre story

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7636577.stm

[Brendan]

WTBMFHF!

I don't have sound at the moment (some feckers nicked my headphones) so I just saw the pictures. What was their motivation? Looked like they were all hepped up on goofballs to me.

EDITED: In accordance with the prophecy.

[SeanMacGabhann]

Looks like the filming of the latest Ben Dover film had some hiccups there

[Ted Max]

Reports appearing that Ian Blair is on his way out. Can someone explain to me what this guy is about? He seems to be regarded by the Tory press as New Labour's man, and Boris wants him gone, yet his conduct over De Menezes, Ghaffur, Dizaei etc hardly suggests he's some bleeding heart ready to sacrifice the rank and file on the PC altar (sorry for the Mail-esque jargonese but I'm sure the point is made).

Does he know where the bodies are buried in the Cash for Honours, thing, or what? What's going on here?

[mockney piers]

Ian Blair was brought in as a troubleshooter and moderniser, and yes was very much a Blair man.

He's done pretty well given his remit and that he was largely strategy and policy rather than operational, but unsurprisingly managed to alienate virtually the whole rank-and-file in the process, not to mention put a lot of more senior noses out of joint having been fast-tracked to that position.

I've no love for the man as any one reciting party lines (yeah, you Harman, Blears et al) by rote is guaranteed to wind me up.

I imagine Boris has had a word with police and said, what do you need to do your job, and most of them have said less red tape and get rid of Blair, the writing was on the wall the second his namesake left office frankly.

[Ted Max]

Thanks, Mockney.

[Brendan]

mockney piers Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Ian Blair was brought in as a troubleshooter ...

[mockney piers]

Hmm, yes, poor choice of words given events.

Again, he may have given the nod to Kratos, but from what I've managed to read he had no involvement with the running of that operation.

In fact it was hours before anyone dared to send the info up the chain that they'd quite clearly killed an innocent man, hence much of the misinformation that flew about in the hours after the shooting.

[david_carnell]

Oh for the love of all that is holy! Why, just for once, can't this Labour government act like it's got a pair.

Mandleson!! Again?

Beckett!! Again?

That's it chaps, look to the future.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I think the Labour Government has more than its fair share of tits.

[georgia]

Financial uncertainty hits Japanese Banks.

Financial Times 7 October 2008

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan:

In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Building Society where it is feared staff may get a raw deal.

[mockney piers]

Daily Mash on fire today

Market Suffers Biggest Ever Blah Blah Blah and Vivars to have 'Full of Sh!t' Stamped on Forehead

ps, what ever happened to the things that have made me laugh thread...seems to have gone walkabout.

[Shu.Kurimu.Sensei]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/7656537.stm

Oh boy, he'll probably get a job on tv for this :))

[Brendan]

Once again satire asks the questions that have been sitting in the back of all of our minds. This from the Dailymash,

?THE government is to invest ?50bn of your money in British banks so they can lend it back to you with interest.

The historic move is being hailed as a lifeline for the financial system as long as nobody asks too many questions?.

? Meanwhile, Emma Bradford, a sales manager from Bath, said: "Why doesn't the government just give my money to me so I can buy stuff from businesses who will then make a profit and put it in a bank?"

But Mr Darling insisted: ?Shut up.??

[Shu.Kurimu.Sensei]

Heh, saw the front page of Private Eye in the window of that newsagents on Dog Kennel Hill, with Darling in a canoe, absolutely priceless (although the pedants may well point to a cover price of ?1.50...)

[mockney piers]

It's a good issue, you should have bought it, second best news source in the land.