Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Ohh Well.....


You wont be needing this then ?


* digs through bin for receipt *


http://www.floristone.com/flowers/products/S10-3799.jpg




Though luckily...


I did photograph this in "Longton Avenue SE26 " not so long ago, you might be needing it ?


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3301/4573896595_f8e123c222_m.jpg


Lovely to have you back...



Mwah...mwah..


( Ewww.... don't touch, germs )



W**F

There once was a poster called Daizie,

Who some thought a little bit crazy,

She talked about poo,

And having more than one loo,

Which sometimes made my brain go hazy.


But now she is ill,

And unable to "chill",

Her fans miss her wit,

Albeit bum-tit.


She can't post at the mo,

And we miss her so,

And I'm feeling on edge,

Think - the state of her hedge!


Oh Daizie get well,

Come back and give hell,

So we can get pissed,

Coz you truly are missed.

Ladymuck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> There once was a poster called Daizie,

> Who some thought a little bit crazy,

> She talked about poo,

> And having more than one loo,

> Which sometimes made my brain go hazy.

>

> But now she is ill,

> And unable to "chill",

> Her fans miss her wit,

> Albeit bum-tit.

>

> She can't post at the mo,

> And we miss her so,

> And I'm feeling on edge,

> Think - the state of her hedge!

>

> Oh Daizie get well,

> Come back and give hell,

> So we can get pissed,

> Coz you truly are missed.


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit was yesterday, 04:53pm by Ladymuck.


____________________________________________


My God...



And that's the "edited" version



Ermmmm....How "good" was it before ?



(I know this is one of those pot & kettle situations...but )





W**F



* saws own leg off, whilst sucking arsenic lollipop *

*Ladymuck rings Woofmarkthedog*



*phone rings*


Woof: Hellooooo.


LM: It's me.


Woof: Hello "me" ...what is it?


LM: she's still not posted.


Woof: *scrapes bum on carpet*


LM: did you hear me?


Woof: errrm yes...yes...arrrhhhh, that's better...erm...yes...and?


LM: well, I think it's time.


Woof: *sniffs carpet*


LM: what do you think?


Woof: Agreed, let's do it.


LM: OK...it's our only hope.


Woof: *whines*


LM: Bye Woof.


*hangs up*


Daizie likes to collect small flowers to link and make her Daisy chains,

she learned this when a young girl, and the skill that she still retains.

Not feeling well decided to see her Doctor, but did not want make a fuss,

just managed to get herself dressed and queue then get on the local Bus.


Good morning Doctor I hope you don't mind me coming and dropping in,

I have noises from my tummy and pain that travels along my intestine.

The best thing that can be done for you, as I cant help here at all,

is that you have a thorough examination at the specialist Hospital.


They put me in a bed, then later wheeled me to have X-rays made,

they showed me the X-rays and pointed out the affected bits displayed.

Now an operation is recommended to alleviate your pain and cure.

just take a sniff of this then you wont feel a thing that you will endure.


The Surgeon spoke all though the operation telling of how he went,

here is the offending bits, he found parts as six metres of intestine was evident.

Removed these bits and was put in a jar to give to me later to see.

perhaps a use for them could be found but just what could that be.


Nurse Muck replaced the repaired intestines back by folding into place,

she?s very skilled at this operation learned at the sausage factory to lace.

Only four metres of intestine now, the painful and the noisy bits are gone,

recovering now and there is the thoughts of getting back again to home.


The Doctor said the best way is by therapy so keep busy, it will help you by far,

its alright for him to say that to me lying here, looking at the contents in the jar.

I?m busy now making up my chains, no Daisies here to thread into the chain,

so a substitute is available so close here on hand, the solution is quite plain.


Look out on the necklaces for sale thread all profits to the Hospital Charity.

some of the items there are not listed to explain them in much clarity.

The Daisy Chains are new an bright and give a nice scented smell.

the other ones could be bits of macaroni, I know but I will not tell.

CS that is quite insightful .


computedshorty Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Daizie likes to collect small flowers to link and

> make her Daisy chains,

> she learned this when a young girl, and the skill

> that she still retains.

Its knitting really, but close .

>

Not feeling well decided to see her Doctor, but

> did not want make a fuss,

> just managed to get herself dressed and queue then

> get on the local Bus.

Ex took me otherwise id have got a cab .

>

> Good morning Doctor I hope you don't mind me

> coming and dropping in,

> I have noises from my tummy and pain that travels

> along my intestine.

> The best thing that can be done for you, as I cant

> help here at all,

> is that you have a thorough examination at the

> specialist Hospital.

Was vomiting green slime .


>

> They put me in a bed, then later wheeled me to

> have X-rays made,

> they showed me the X-rays and pointed out the

> affected bits displayed.

> Now an operation is recommended to alleviate your

> pain and cure.

> just take a sniff of this then you wont feel a

> thing that you will endure.

> correct .

>

The Surgeon spoke all though the operation telling

> of how he went,

> here is the offending bits, he found parts as six

> metres of intestine was evident.

Cut six inches out .


> Removed these bits and was put in a jar to give

> to me later to see.

> perhaps a use for them could be found but just

> what could that be.

>

> Nurse Muck replaced the repaired intestines back

> by folding into place,

> she?s very skilled at this operation learned at

> the sausage factory to lace.

LOL


> Only four metres of intestine now, the painful and

> the noisy bits are gone,

> recovering now and there is the thoughts of

> getting back again to home.

>

> The Doctor said the best way is by therapy so keep

> busy, it will help you by far,

> its alright for him to say that to me lying here,

> looking at the contents in the jar.

> I?m busy now making up my chains, no Daisies here

> to thread into the chain,

> so a substitute is available so close here on

> hand, the solution is quite plain.

>

> Look out on the necklaces for sale thread all

> profits to the Hospital Charity.

> some of the items there are not listed to explain

> them in much clarity.

> The Daisy Chains are new an bright and give a nice

> scented smell.

No less than Kings deserves. After care was appalling .


> the other ones could be bits of macaroni, I know

> but I will not tell.

macaroni cheese ive just eaten liquidised

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • I've actually met Luke Johnson and he's actually a very amicable, witty and extremely clever man. He's also created thousands of jobs and generated millions and millions of pounds of tax revenue for the government, offering goods and hospitality that countless millions of people have enjoyed over the decades. I'm not a fan of Gail's but I'm also not a fan of people who knock down good guys that have contributed a huge amount to this country.  Anyway, French Patisseries and southern hemisphere coffee don't belong on Farmer's markets. 
    • What mandatory action would then be required of them?
    • Probably will be mandatory once Digital ID comes in.    They can then use the cameras on the tills too to bring all sorts of other useful ancillary controls, such as limiting how much alcohol you buy each week, or monitoring and limiting the carbon footprint of the food you buy (some foods now are already showing the CO2 emissions consumed in producing them).
    • At present several large retailers such as Co-op, Tesco, Waitrose, John Lewis, and Next use a cloud-based facial recognition system that gives instant alerts to the entry on the premises of known shoplifters.  Around £19 million incidents of retail theft (some with attacks on staff) occur ever year in the UK amounting in value to £2.6 Billion in value, involving 41,000 known offenders. Shoplifting adds to the retailer's costs and this is passed on eventually to honest shoppers, isn't there a case for F.R. to become mandatory at all retailers?
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...