Experience of dementia?

[RosieH]

Does anyone have any experience with dementia they'd be comfortable sharing with me?

I'm dealing with a family situation - something that's possibly been coming for a while, but seems to be getting worse, and I don't really know what I can do, or even how to tackle the subject.

[computedshorty]

This link might help

Looking after someone

www.caringwithconfidence.net/help

[kpc]

Rosie

I have been through this with both of my parents. Has dementia actually been diagnosed? If not, initially you should speak to your relative's GP - they wil probably suggest a joint visit so that they can then make a referral to a specialist. In my parents' cases, they were assessed at home in the first instance. Clearly, the earlier this can be done, and the particular form of dementia identified, the better for deciding on the most appropriate way to treat the condition.

If there's anything specific you want to ask that I may be able to help with, let me know.

Kevin

[PeckhamRose]

John Suchet was on the radio today talking about this.

He has written a book about his wife who was diagnosed quite young and about his experience.

It was heartrendering to listen to.

His book shall doubtless be of great use to you.

I am sorry you are going through this - I see it coming with my own Mum now.

Here's a link to dementia uk and the book is highlighted on the front page.

[Huggers]

also, in older people, dementia type symptoms can come from urinary infections and dehydration. But I expect you have probably checked this out.

[RosieH]

Thank you all, this is great.

Kevin, no, dementia hasn't been diagnosed as yet - but my nan suffered (although I couldn't tell you what kind - my mum's never been one for paying any attention to what doctors say). There've been some likely symptoms for a while, and recently they seem to be getting stronger and more frequent.

This sounds a bit odd perhaps, but is there any way of finding out who someone's GP is? My mum's so defensive and won't talk about it.

[kpc]

To be honest, I don't know - my parents had been registered with the same GP practice for over 40 years so my sisters and I didn't have that problem. Is she old fashioned enough to keep am address or phone book that you could find the number from?

You could try speaking to your GP about the situation in general terms to get their view on the best way forward. I have always found The Alzheimers Society helpful as well:

Alzheimers Society

There isn't an easy way to approach these matters and I can understand your mother's defensiveness and reluctance to talk about it - she is probably of a generation that held mental health matters as a stigma. Equally it is not easy to take the decision to intervene and initiate the referral to get your mother correctly diagnosed, but it is better in the long run.

[cate]

This is so sad and I wish you luck. I have a relative in the US I am very worried about and don't know what to do.

[Moos]

I can understand to your mother's reluctance to deal with possible dementia. I believe many people in their 50s-70s have their own parents' diminishment and demise very clear and sharp in their memories, and are terrified of 'losing their minds', and perhaps equally terrified of their partners becoming ill and dependent.

Sorry for this difficult time you must be going through.

[bob]

I know just how you feel going through the same probs with 80 year old Mrs Bob S senior.

Bob S

[cate]

In London one friend's mother - in her 70s - was worried about her memory and had numerous tests and was found to have short term memory loss. This meant that after a conversation with her she did not remember anything you had talked about which was quite alarming. But it wasn't dementia. Also had a friend also in her 70s who was diagnosed with Alzheimers. She was already under the Maudsley as she was bipolar and had been for years. She was also a heavy smoker. Believe smoking can contribute to dementia.

[SteveT]

I was looking for some tools to help a buddy finish off some plumbing,

looked in all the likely places could not find them,

a week later having finished the job I looked up to find one laughing at me.

I hadn't moved anything,

nothing had been disturbed,

and there it was within arms reach,

and this happens all too frequently, it is weird.

I wonder if this house is possessed by a force not belonging to it's owner?...............no I just cannot find stuff when I want it because I don't remember where I last put the thing.

[RosieH]

Whoa, Steve, way to show a little sensitivity.

Thanks everyone else for the supportive messages, and for the very kind PMs.

[expat]

>This sounds a bit odd perhaps, but is there any way of finding out who someone's GP is?

Not as far as I know - perhaps look at their medicine to find the Doctors name or go with your mum or alone to fetch the medecine.

Mind I doubt their GP will tell you much - patient confidentialty and all that.

Good Luck

[Pugwash]

Does Mum keep the other half of her prescription? This will show the GP's name.

[jimmy two times]

Atila Reincarnate was demented. Is that the same thing?

[stevebailey]

Hi Rosie,

I'm sorry to hear this could be on the cards for you, my Mum was diagnosed with Dementia 2 years ago and it's an evil disease.

If you cannot find out the GP details, ask yours, they will be able to give you a lot of information and contact numbers for various organisations that can help.

Is the person in question living alone or with spouse/family members, dependant on what stage they are at this can become quite critical, my Mum has taken to wandering off in the middle of the night while my Dad's asleep and it can be pretty hairy!

That said she is now getting to the stage where she gets very angry, so while she has someone there full time is a good thing in some respects, making use of all available help is very much a bonus.

Hope some of the above helps.

P.S. SteveT - that's not dementia, that's you being a ****, engage brain before fingers next time please!

[ontheedge]

I gather from previous posts of Steves he is in his sixties therby reading his post I think he is saying as we age our memory is not as good as it once was and not neccessarily a sign of dementia.

Dementia is indeed a horrible illness but if diagnosed early enough there is medication that can halt/slow down the progression.

[Cassius]

Hi Rosie

Just wanted to add my support - it is hard to come to terms with and my thoughts are with you.

[northlondoner]

Yes my thoughts also with you.