Advice please - night-time toilet training

[Moos]

My just-turned 3yo has been dry during the day barring minor accidents for months, including his 2-hour daily naps.

In recent weeks he's woken up with a dry nappy in the morning increasingly often, and last week it was every day. He's also now very reluctant to wear a nappy at night, because "he's a big boy now and nappies are for babies" (bless him, 3ft tall..). So I persuaded him to keep one on for all of last week and waited for a) the weekend and b) OH to come home from a business trip (neh heh heh).

1st 2 nights - perfect, dry pyjamas in the morning, lots of praise etc. etc. But last 2 nights, we were woken very early by him in tears, having copiously wet the bed. Not a big deal in itself (*yawns*) but am now not sure that I've done the right thing.

I was in no hurry to take the night-time nappy off, as he seems quite young to be 100% toilet trained, but was persuaded by his dry nappies and keenness to move on.

Anyone got any good advice? Do we keep at it, or go back to nappies? If the former, any brilliant tips on waterproof comfortable covers that can be easily whipped off in those early-morning fumble-fingered moments? If the latter, what should I be looking for to know when he's really ready?

Many thanks!

[BeccaL]

Get some Huggies Bed sheets (I think they're called) - they go under the sheets so bed still comfy but absorbs any leakage and keeps mattress dry. We found them great.

Don't know what to advise re starting - ours didn't do this til 4, at which point it was pretty quick, though she still occasionally wakes up with slightly wet pants (now 5.5 yrs). Mean parents that we are, she now just changes her own pants and PJ bottoms and puts herself back to bed unless the sheet is wet too - I do not deal well with night-time waking and can't now understand how I managed when breast-feeding!!

[supergolden88]

Try picking up just before you go to bed and putting on toilet or potty. Even though they are half asleep they sometimes pee and avoid accidents. Also try limiting too many drinks after 6pm

Having said that my daughter did well for a couple of weeks then regressed for another two (accidents almost nightly) and now she seems fine (fingers crossed, knock on wood!). So I would say persevere dont go back to nappies

[gwod]

..Also a potty in their bedroom can at help at first as they sometimes wake up desprrate and a little bit scared of the journey to the loo.

[Fuschia]

If you make up the bed with a waterproof protector, fitted sheet, then a bedmat or anotehr waterproof cover, then anotehr sheet, you can whip the top tweo layers off easily and hey presto the bed is made underneath

"Pyjama pants" aged 4-7 are a bit like nappies but not quite.. or try a washable trainer pant?

[Moos]

Thanks all

Becca, we do have a mattress protector so no actual damage, just a faff - maybe I could put a Huggies thingy on top of the sheet? Don't want to make him uncomfortable but avoiding changing the sheet would be a godsend, as it involves taking all the scrillion stuffed animals off his bed and picking up the mattress etc. etc. Anything that gets him back into bed faster instead of sitting on his chair chirping at me while I fiddle about would be marvellous.

I will try the lifting, thanks supergolden88, and will try limiting drinks after 6 but would be a bit reluctant to limit too much given the warm weather.

gwod, he hates the potty and pretty much went straight to peeing on the loo - we might have to bite the bullet on that one. I have asked him to call for me if he needs a pee so I can help him, but it might be a bit of an ask.

Argh..

[Moos]

Fuschia, we cross-posted - 2 really good ideas, thank you. What sort of capacity do pyjama pants have?

[Fuschia]

make the bed up with lots of layers inc a folded sheet/waterproof layer just acrsos the centre of the bed.. easy to whip off, no need to lift mattress

[The Nappy Lady]

Hi,

We had a similar problem with our oldest, who was dry by day at 2, but not at night until 3.5.

She was keen to be nappy free at night, but was prone to the odd accident. What I did was get some of the Leigland Bed Protectors - they are rubber but with cotton bonded on both sides so lovely to use, not noisy, sweaty or generally uncomfortable like so many bed protectors are. You can get them from The Nappy Lady (accessories but of the website), but I'm sure if you search on line other places do them to.

I got one that was the same size as the single bed, which I used to completely cover the mattress, then I put a top sheet on, then my daughter would sleep happily directly on another of the bed protectors, which was just under half the size of the mattress, and we positioned it so it was under her bottom basically. It stayed in place fine, and if she wet the bed she would get out, pull it out herself, take off her wet PJs and go back to sleep all by herself - allowing her to feel like a 'big girl' and not making a big thing of the accident - in the morning I could just whip the sheet away and wash it. Actually I had 2 that size so I could easily replace whilst the other was washing and drying.

I suspect the Huggies type mats wouldn't stay in place if he is lying directly on them, as they will tend to runkle up and move around.

You can also get washable trainer pants if interested - Motherease do one that will hold a full wee but no more - so if he is only tending to wee now and again that may be enough for him. They also do a full on nappy called Motherease Bedwetters which are for older children to wear at night, but all in one so they can pull up and down if they do get up to go to the loo - that's why my daughter wore in the end just before stopping nappies all together.

Hope some of this helps, and good luck.

I think if I were you I would keep trying, but if accidents become regular and/or he is getting very upset by it all then try to persuade him to leave it for a couple of months and try again. We decided for our daughter the issue was she was such a heavy sleeper (went 12 hours from around 10 weeks old) that she just didn't wake in the night to 'feel' that she needed to go - and eventually was dry all night, but not waking up fast enough in the morning to catch herself from doing that first wee of the day in the bed. Eventually I guess she just gained more control as she got older and finally we cracked it, but it felt like a very long time - never expected it to be so long.

Molly

[plimsoul]

if i have understood properly he's a boy, in which case with one of mine who took a few weeks to go completely dry at night i woke him at 11 but didn't use a potty. instead just a small water bottle, you know evian or whatever other hundred brands are out there. therefore you cut the potty out. you literally just stand them up, hang willy slightly in neck of bottle and they pee. they far preferred this as it's almost like going to the normal loo as you're standing.

you may think that this is totally mad but the 'pee' bottle has also saved me on many trips into town, a very discreet way for boys to pee without being seen. it was recommended to me by a latin american cousin in law and i thought it sounded absurd until i tried it out.

anyways, it worked for us.

but to be honest they just somehow suddenly go dry and no you have not done the wrong thing!

[Fuschia]

It is something about a hormone that they start to produce which stops them making lots of wee at night

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/bedwetting.htm

[Moos]

Morning all

thanks so much for all your advice.

First of all, complete success with the lifting, he did a huge sleeping pee on the loo last night at 11 and slept dry till 7, when he happily got up and went to the loo again, so result!

(call me Oliver James, but is he going to be lying on the therapist's couch in 40 years saying "I had that dream again. These giants kept lifting me up and making me wee on command."?)

I think I will persevere and continue the lifting, also the bottle is also a good idea, will give that a go.

My main concern is that he doesn't get upset with continued accidents, and I think the way forward is to invest in the double-sheet protection (thanks Fuschia and Molly) and perhaps pyjamas pants so it is easy for him and no big deal. I had read about the hormone production, and since he usually does enormous morning pees he may not be physiologically there but since he's mentally ready and so far not fazed by accidents I think we have to press on.

Another problem solved by the Family Room Massive, thanks very much!!

[Fuschia]

It's hard to strike the balance when they WANT to do something like this but their bodies aren't quite ready... sounds like the lifting might help at least and making bedchanging less of an issue will stop him feeling bad. You have years before he does on sleepovers probably anyway!!

[Moos]

hmmm, night-time pees becoming someone else's problem for a day? You're on Fuschia, I'll drop him off tomorrow at 6 ...

[EDmummy]

Have had two different experiences with my two boys. No. 1 said at 2 1/2 that he didn't want nappies any more and only had the very occasional accident. With No. 2, who was also late in giving up milk at bed time, didn't get dry until 3 1/2 with lots of accidents for about 3 months afterwards.

What helped was giving up any liquids after tea in the evening, except a mouthful after brushing teeth. They can cope with no more fluids after this time. They really will not dehydrate in British weather. I am from a considerably warmer climate and my mother always stopped fluids after about 5pm.

Good luck. It is a stage and may feel overwhelming at the moment but you will both get through it if you take it at the pace that suits you both.

[Fuschia]

Moos Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Fuschia, we cross-posted - 2 really good ideas,

> thank you. What sort of capacity do pyjama pants

> have?

several wees!

[observermum]

For older children who may bed-wet

heavy sleeping can be a factor

http://www.dri-sleeper.com/index.htm

this is good

[marscapone]

We had a similar situation with first couple of nappy-free nights being perfect and then a few wet nights in a row (although only 2 bed changes, the other nights he must have started to wee then stopped himself so only PJs got slightly damp). I find that with most things it seems to be two steps forward, one step back. So that after a week or two he was sleeping through with no accidents again. Likewise for daytime toilet training, weaning, drinking water etc - almost like once they do something that's a big achievement they lose interest a bit and regress slightly, but then pick it up again fairly quickly afterwards