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Look, I'm a little flush at the moment, so have what you fancy.

Ladies, don't stint yourselves, have a port and lemon alongside your usual sticks of mild. Or indeed whatever takes your fancy.

It shall be my pleasure.

Gentlemen, steam in with a large dose of 'top shelf' of your choice to accompany your light and bitter.


I know I'm having a triple Drambuie alongside my pint of keg.


So, it's Liberty Hall round here, just tell Stan or Doreen it's on me.


Cheers.

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Ladymuck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Sorry - can't resist this HB...

>

> Whiskey please...tis what Whiskey Women drink


Indeed so LM.


Stan get the Muckster a triple of the most expensive malt you have and two sticks of mild.


Mud in your eye, LadyM.

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Very kind of you. I'll have a double Melchizedek

> of Krug please, with a Bombadier chaser.


Doreen had a quick look downstairs (and let there be no ribaldry, here I refer to the cellar) and is sad to report that they don't have a Michael of Krug, but has sent Ken the potman out for a case. In a black London taxi cab if you don't mind.

The Bombadier is right there for you, and she's also put the early David Bowie song 'The Little Bomdadier' on the jukebox, special like.


Nice touch I thought.

PeckhamRose Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Champagne, please. I Just LOVE it.

>

> Oh, and a bag of pork scratchings.


Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends as Richard Bacon once remarked, probably before his cocaine-demise from Blue Peter.


Ooh, talking of bacon I wonder if Stan thought to order some of those 'gourmet' pork scratchings, you know the ones that have had the hair removed.


They're the only ones good enough for real friends of the calibre of PeckhamRose.


That'll be two packets, please Stan.

PeckhamRose Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Awwwwwwwww ta. There are indeed some gourmet

> scratchings around and they are SO hard I broke a

> filling off.

> Maybe I should just go for the hedgehog flavour

> crisps...

> But champagne would be great.


There's only 'Bolly' at the moment, but Doreen reckons it's just at the right quaffing temperature and I trust her judgement.


I've told her to keep it coming until you can't even remember where you parked your bike, let alone ride it home.


Mi tab, su tab.


Enjoy.

katie1997 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Oh a chilled glass of ginger ale, Blandford Fly

> if you please, would be very welcome at the

> moment, cheers!:)-D


Doreen, Stan, kindly keep the Blandford Fly flowing for my new chum Katie1997 and if she requires it 'strengthening' with a medicinal dose of whisky, or even whiskey, then let your hand be generous and you represent me in a fullest and most favourable light.


You're welcome, K-K-K Katie.

I think I can picture Doreen and Stan, she is welcoming but won't stand for any nonsense. Stan is efficient but can be a tad slow in the execution of his duties. Salt of the earth types the pair of them...


Definitely hold the whisky/whiskey, the blandford ale is already alcoholic and I wouldn't like to cause any extra work....though saying that, a snack would be nice ;)

daizie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB- A Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against

> The Wall for me please


Doreen gave a smirk and a rise of her right eyebrow.

Stan shrugged and said he knew little of cocktails.

He's gone upstairs to rouse the Australian barman, who he reckons will be able to sort you out.


Honestly, where else would you get service like that?

katie1997 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think I can picture Doreen and Stan, she is

> welcoming but won't stand for any nonsense. Stan

> is efficient but can be a tad slow in the

> execution of his duties. Salt of the earth types

> the pair of them...


Corks Katie1997, you sound as if you're a reg'lar down at The Mott The Hoople.

There's a chair round the snug next time you're in.

Spot on about Doreen, any sign of what she describes as 'ructions', she's straight through the 'jump' informing the 'ructioneers' in no uncertain terms to 'either pack it up, or get packed up'.

Stan, on these occasions always seems to find something to attend to in the cellar.

It works well for them, though but.


> Definitely hold the whisky/whiskey, the blandford

> ale is already alcoholic and I wouldn't like to

> cause any extra work....though saying that, a

> snack would be nice ;)


Doreen prides herself in having a nice bit of boiled ham and a spot of mature Cheddar cheese always available.

She'll always get Ken the potman to cut along to the baker's for a fresh roll or two when necessary.

And she'll always knock up a toastie on the Dualit when required.

Pickles of various varieties provided on the side

They'll never get mentioned in any food guides, but as Doreen once said, "F*ck 'em".

At the time, Stan gave her a bit of a look and remembered he had something to attend to in the cellar

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> A pickled egg with a soupcon of caviar would go

> down a treat right now.


I've checked with Doreen, PGC, she's fine with the pickled egg, but says there's not a tin of caviar soup left in the place and she doesn't want to send Ken out again tonight, what with his chest being what it is and all.


I reckon though, she's deliberately misunderstood your request for comedic purposes.


It wouldn't surprise me in the least, it's rumoured that she and Bernie WInters were once 'close'.

EEEEEEEHH!!!

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Heavens to Betsy, I wouldn't want to be

> responsible for Ken's chest. Has he considered

> goosefat secured with brown paper under his string

> vest?


PGC, no one wants to be responsible for Ken's chest, least of all it would seem, Ken himself.

Doreen's great-auntie Vi suggested precisely the remedy you put forward.

Would he apply it? Would he buggery.

Claimed it made him all 'too smeary' and would end up staining the Lord John shirt he bought in Carnaby Street that time.


Doreen continues to indulge him, I reckon he's just putting it on though.


We'll see.

Ladymuck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> May I have a bottle of Champagne please (only this

> one is on me). Two glasses please...and if you

> could join me that would be lovely.

>

> (Might numb the pain in a more pleasurable way

> than the sweetcorn).


Of course I'll join you LM, but I insist on paying.

As for the knee/groin incident, think nothing of it. A mere bagatelle. As it were.

The main thing it did was to get Susan Cadogan's 'Hurt So Good' playing on repeat in my head.

How bad?

katie1997 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> >

> Doreen's a good sort and no mistakin'... although

> I get the feeling that Stan spends rather a lot of

> time 'attending to things' in the cellar*.

> Perhaps more time than is strictly necessary.

>

> *this seemingly functions in a similar way to men

> and sheds, no?


I think you make a good point KatieNumbers (I think it's about time you got yourself an American mafia style sobriquet, I mean you're practically a made guy, already).


Mind, Doreen is very protective of Stan, so it's not politic to even imply the slightest criticism of his behaviour.


Just a couple of weeks ago, Stan fell prey to melancholy for a couple of days.

So distracted was Doreen, that even when a horse entered the bar, she didn't think to ask him 'Why the long face'?


Stan watched all 12 episodes of 'Fawlty Towers' and soon was his old self again, though, so it all turned out alright in the end.



HonaloochieLetter. Quite right. Wouldn't dream of it.

So ssssshhhh, but between us I bet I'd be right in saying that Stan watched 'Fawlty Towers' in the cellar. All 12 episodes!


Was talking to Chee Chee about changing my name. Big Paulie and Jimmy the Weasel weren't happy about it. Shame as I think Lucky Boo Boo has a certain charm.

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